Gunpowder Milkshake

 How do, readers of the rotten. After last write up with Italian Post-Apocalyptic goofiness, I thought I would see what is on Netflix. Yes, thankfully the films made with Netflix seem to survive. Can't say the same for Marvel cable series but what do I know? No I thought we'd see what bonny lass Karen Gillan (The Kevin Bishop Show, Dr. Who, The Well, Guardians of the Galaxy, Oculus, Selfie, 7 Days in Hell, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Avengers: Infinity War, Avengers: Endgame and Jumanji: The Next Level), a young actress that has seen no less than three predominant characters (Amy Pond of Dr. Who, Ruby of Jumanji and Nebula of Guardians of the Galaxy) that are in cosplay demand, she with a substantial cast stars in an action-packed, fist fighting and gun play film. This is Gunpowder Milkshake. 

 

Hands at ten and two.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With an elite status of a professional assassin, Scarlet (Lena Headey of 300, The Red Baron, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Risen, Dredd, The Purge, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia, Game of Thrones and Masters of the Universe: Revelations) was catching all kinds of heat, had to leave her child Sam in the care of others while she went off-grid. Oh c'mon Scarlet, you managed to care for John Connor during cyborg madness.

Our movie opens credits with a near Bond orchestral soundtrack that is haunting and invigorating to the mind. I know I am in for some gratuitous ultra, ultra violence. Already this movie gives of a vibe of Alan Ladd's This Gun for Hire, or maybe I am just nostalgic for film noir. Karen is wearing a trench coat and fedora giving steely eyes, so yeah maybe that's why it is clicking.  Her hovel of an apartment is near Spartan level of clean and free of real creature comforts, so our hitwoman doesn't draw attention to herself. Hell bet the neighbors think she's either a workaholic, closet lesbian or a moody artist. Neighbors are always nosy. Like her mother, Sam is also working for the enigmatic organization, "The Firm". Not starring Tom Cruise. Hehe. 

 

BANZAIIII!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Now before we go any further, I want to talk about the whining man babies commenting all over this film. Most of them are pissed that a predominant number of women are in kick ass roles, tackling the same ridiculous odds similar to a male protagonist in a cheese-ball 80s action movie.

Their insipid point? But they can't do that. They're girls! Yeah that is the crux of their argument.

In their tiny brained mindset, women can be the mothers, the sisters, the prostitutes, final girls in slasher flicks and the femme fatales buuuuut, they cannot be cops, firefighters or a bad ass cadre of assassins. I'd flog these morons but who has the time.

A good, old-fashioned vanilla milkshake with an extra scoop is in order since Sam was a little girl waiting for Scarlet to come back from yet another job. Guess it is hard being a single mom that gacks people. A flashback interaction with mom as adult Sam relaxes after whacking that many wise guys. Nathan (Paul Giamatti of Ripper, Donnie Brasco, Private Parts, Saving Private Ryan, The Amazing Screw-On Head, Barney's Version, John Dies in the End and Rock of Ages) has been watching over Sam since she was a young girl has to be Sam's handler for contracts. With the last job looking like the final scene in Resevoir Dogs, Sam's skill set is needed. Someone stole from The Firm and the boys in charge are none too happy. But wait! It gets worse! 

 

They serve pie here at all?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 15 or so scumbags that attempted to ventilate Sam, one of them was son to mover and shaker kingpin, Jim McAlester (Ralph Ineson of The Selfish Giant, Vera, Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, Ambassadors, Inspector George Gently, New Worlds, Kingsman: Secret Service, The Witch, Bluestone 42 and The Huntsman: Winter's War). Yet another mob kid trying to show Dad he can move up in the organization on his own, gets popped like a champagne cork and now Dear ole Da wants blood. Whoopsie!

Not sure about the whole trench coat look, honey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Opening an active library account with former surrogate mothers like accounts Anna May (Angela Basset of Strange Days, Vampire in Brooklyn, Contact, Supernova, The Rosa Parks Story, Alias, Nothing But the Truth, ER,This Means War, Black Panther and 9-1-1), records Florence (Michelle Yeoh of Super Cop, Super Cop 2, Yes,Ma'am, Silver Hawk, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Tomorrow Never Dies, Star Trek: Discovery and Shang Chi: Legend of the Ten Rings) head librarian and quartermaster (Carla Guinano of Watchmen, Race to Witch Mountain, Women in Trouble, The Might Macs, Elektra Luxx, Sucker Punch, Man of Steel, San Andreas, Bling and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice) is a stickler for rules. Again, with that much firepower at her fingertips, DO NOT piss off the quartermaster...or be loud in the library. It's rude.

With clean weapons, Sam is back in action and makes her way to the hit. Problem is our thief boosted bearer bonds for four screw-ups in Hollywood Horror masks, the Universal monsters to be exact because they have his 8 year old daughter, Emily (Chloe Coleman of Glee, Angels and Demons, Transparent, Puppy Star Christmas, Big Little Lies, My Spy, The Resident, Kinderwood and Gunpowder Milkshake). The Firm is less than happy with Sam and are leaving her to Jim McAlester and his murderous, malefic moppets. Nathan provides Sam with a leg up and maybe she'll see another day. Emily is just going with the flow, considering she just saw three guys whacked and is on the move with Sam. It's almost like Sam knows what it is to be in Emily's shoes and now her own mother's as well.

Writer/director Navot Papushado (Rabies, Big Bad Wolves, ABCs of Death 2, and Once Upon a Time in Palestine) sets a tone about duty, obligation, family and honor in his gunsmoke fueled, dysfunctional family platform.

FYI, a minor spoiler for you all as Sam went completely Buffy on the thug in the Dracula mask; staking him with a broken mop handle through the heart. Yes I laughed profusely. Serious I do not understand the hate for this flick. We have gorgeous women whooping ass, getting into gun fights, fist fights and martial arts galore. Do I feel this is the female Expendables? Not one bit. Yes they also are hired killers but they have a near family dynamic, while The Expendables just felt like beer buddies with guns. Again nothing wrong with either film, but don't compare the two. Aside from a significant casting, they are nothing alike. The chemistry between Gillan and Headey does feel like a mother/daughter relationship...well except all the bodies they dropped. That could be a weird tradition.

Good cast, awesome effects and decent dialogue exchange. Solid story done with many a hitman that rediscovers his humanity, then fights against the very institution he swore an oath to; so why can't it be said for a woman as well? So yeah I would recommend this film.

 

She's got Karen Gillan Eyeeeessss....

 

Yes, Madam!

 Hey all! Welcome to my madness that is the blog, my readers of the rotten.  So sue me, I was feeling poetic and squirrelly.  Today we are doing a Hong Kong action flick because I haven't done one in a while.  That alone is enough for me.   So into the TARDIS for the far back time of 1985, launching not one, but two martial arts movie stars and creating "girls with guns" sub-genre.  This is Yes, Madam! a.k.a. Karate Tiger a.k.a. In the Line of Duty: Yes, Madam! a.k.a. Super Cops a.k.a. In the Line of Duty 2 a.k.a. Police Assassins a.k.a. Police Assassins II

A double ass-whooping is waitin' for yooooou...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, thanks to foreign production, reproduction and re-distribution we have multiple Also Known As titles. Hardly to be a shock in this blog.

Our story begins with two hapless petty thieves Strepsil (John Sham of Charlie's Bubble, To Hell with the Devil, Winners & Sinners, Mad Mission 3: Our Man from Bond Street, The Return of Pom Pom, Double Trouble, Curry and Pepper and Double Impact) and Aspirin (Hoi Mang of Za ma, Way of the Black Dragon, The Dragon and the Tiger Kids, Double Trouble, Legacy of Rage, The Gamblin Ghost and Vampire Expert II) that become involved with a murder case due to the items they stole from a murdered fellow. They find a role of microfilm among the dead man's passport and decide to hock it to their fence/forger Panadol (producer/director/writer/actor Hark Tsui of Chasing Girls, Mad Mission, The Winter of 1905, Mad Mission 2: Aces Go Places, All the Wrong Spies, Mad Mission 3: Our Man from Bond Street, Shanghai Blues, Run Tiger, Run, Working Class and I Love Maria).

NERDS!

 

 

 

 

 

 Inspector Ng has to deal with a flasher and have him booked for swinging with Bing. See what I did there? While pervert is being transported away, an armored truck rolls up with some baddies hot on the trail, and we know they're baddies because the incidental music just kicked in. Expect a rumble! FYI, Michelle Yeoh is hot in glasses. A little Gun Fu, Kung Fu and Moo Sho. I was on a roll, sorry. The bad guys are down and Ng went Dirty Harry on these guys in 3 minutes of the flick!

Meanwhile Inspector Ng (Michelle Yeoh of In the Line of Duty, Dynamite Fighters, Supercop, Holy Weapon, Supercop 2, Tomorrow Never Dies, Moonlight Express, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Silver Hawk, Babylon A.D., Kung Fu Panda 2, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and Star Trek: Discovery) has been assigned to the murder case in response to the infamous Mr. Tin (James Tien of The Big Boss, Fist of Fury, A Man Called Tiger, Attack of the Kung Fu Girls, Thunderbolt, The Seven Coffins, The Hand of Death, Shaolin Plot, Iron Fisted Monk, Immortal Warriors and The Fearless Hyena) and it is speculated the dead man was an accountant working with Scotland Yard moving forward with his investigation. The dead man was Inspector Ng's lover so she definitely has a stake in this. Of course standard police procedure would have been to take her off the case due to her personal nature in the case that would cloud her judgement, but that's just crazy talk!

 

What she said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Enter Inspector Carrie Norris (Cynthia Rothrock of Rapid Fire, No Witnessess, China O' Brien, China O' Brien II, Martial Law, Fast Getaway, Angel of Fury, Rage and Honor, Honor and Glory, Lady Dragon 2 and Undefeatable) who also has a personal stake in this and takes the law into her own hands. Gee, now we need Ng's boss to swear profusely, throw them off the case and suspend them.

Panadol gets pinched and sings like a canary on the bumbling thieves. Now the race is on to track down these two collective heads of knuckle, get the goods on Mr. Tin and avenge Richard. 

 

So noticed quite a few things. Lifted music from Halloween II, Miami Vice, and Sisters of Mercy songs. The film is subtitled and I could not get it to stop. Sorry if that is annoying in the screenshots. For the Hong Kong action films, this is a first creating the sub-genre "Girls with Guns".   Aside from stolen tunes and the comic relief slowly warping my brain, the ladies whoop ass, take names and give some serious stunt performance. So if you are a fan of either of these martial arts gals, give it a watch.

 

Blonde's packin' a Roscoe, Boss.

 

Obscure Superhero Week: Silverhawk

Hey all, welcome back for Day 4 of Obscure Superhero Week. Y'know it is a bit ridiculous to find a super heroine flick that isn't directly linked to a per-existing male protagonist. Supergirl, Elektra and Catwoman (technically Femme Fatale/thief/bad girl) are our prime examples?? Oh sure you could say Black Scorpion, Barb Wire and Aeon Flux IF they weren't overtly sexualized to a level I would be very uncomfortable to tell little girls to behave like that when you grow up. Christ, Tomb Raider and 1970s Wonder Woman and Isis managed to make strong willed, determined women that happened to be gorgeous as well. That was more of a bi-product or said actresses playing them. Busting my hump to find ANY super-heroine movie is a pain in the ass to begin with because the genre is either campy, insipid or just sexualized. And then... when all hope seemed lost. When frustration clouded my head. My gleaming goddess of goodness helped me out and may have restored a little faith in writing and directing. This is Silverhawk.

Hey, that's not Jet Li.

No wings of silver or nerves of steel. (Points to anyone getting that reference) Our heroine is a silver clad ass kicker for the side of good Silverhawk (Michelle Yeoh of Police Story 3: Supercop, Wing Chun, Tomorrow Never Dies, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Far North, Babylon A.D., Reign of Assasssins and Kung Fu Panda 2: The Quickening) whose secret identity is Lulu (No not the maxi dresses, atheletic wear, Lou Reed's album, the Fae Sorceress of League of Legends or the Scottish singer from the 1960s), a martial arts master/model and all around heiress to a mass conglomerate using her skills, money and being for the good of humanity. And does this with 4 minutes we have a bike chasing down a truck, a choreographed fight sequence on top of said truck, truck disabled and the baddies all terrified of her kicking their asses yet again. The precious cargo??? Um pandas. Yeah I guess black market for fur or claws? No idea. I envision an evil over-the-top British super-villain pawing one as he would a Persian cat exclaiming his insidious plan to his minions and muhahahaing the night away.

We're voguing!

Our heroine/vigilante's works have been noticed as the chief of police of Polaris City, Rich Man. Rich Man. Imagine the hell for that kid and do not wonder how he excelled at martial arts too. Okay, Rich Man (Richie Jen of Gorgeous, Fly Me to Polaris, Marry a Rich Man, Elixir of Love, 20 30 40, Seoul Raiders and The Sniper) is Lulu's childhood friend at the martial arts academy and apparently has complete and total recall of everyone, anyone and everything she has ever done or interacted with in life and recognizes Rich immediately. Rich a bit slower on the draw seems to remember but cannot quite place her. Rather than get her number, Lulu slips a tracker/bug on his phone keeping aware of the police investigations and a bit of flirting on her part. Rich makes it clear he is gonna bust Silverhawk due to the typical trope "Taking the law into one's own hands" but he is more concerned right now with the threat of a new A.I. Program that could end up in the wrong hands.

Where does she get those wonderful toys?? BMW I guess.

A quick couple of notes here. This universe operates like Marvel Comics tech. This is a virtual holographic majong game, there are sleek steel and glass buildings and mind deciphering devices but in modern day age. Lulu's auntie is constantly interfering and insistent that Lulu chase after men, marry and have healthy babies and so on. Leaving a brilliant scientist at her front door and now she must entertain Professor Chung (Daming Chen of Foreign Moon, Beverly Hills Ninja, Silverhawk, One Foot Off the Ground and What Women Want), the very same scientist developing the revolutionary plot point, I mean A. I. So yes you can do the Batman comparison because she is a talented normal with fighting skills, wonderful toys and a crusade and while that is an influence; the story arc is nowhere the dark brooding crap on a rooftop, the baddies may have some contusions and a concussion but they haven't been straight up murdered (Yeah Batman Returns, I'm looking at you) and the violence level is surprisingly low.

Hang on a sec... did I skip the villain? Yeah I did. Sorry about that. With the A. I. Demonstration well in hand, of course now is the time to abduct the prof.

Enter hench persons...well its a unisex teams so yeah. Morris (Michael Jai White of Thick as Thieves, Universal Soldier: The Return, Exit Wounds, Why Did I Get Married?, Black Dynamite, Blood and Bone, Arrow, Beyond the Game and The Asian Connection) and Jane (Bingbing Li of Purple Butterfly, Waiting Alone, Dragon Squad, Linger, The Message, Resident Evil: Retribution and Transformers: Age of Extinction) looking full on cyberpunk testing Silverhawk's skills and clearly were impressed, looking forward to that rematch. Worried about the involvement of the vigilante's time and effort, their boss/mastermind Alexander Wolfe (Luke Goss of Blade II, Love Life, Charlie, Cold and Dark, 13 Graves, Bone Dry, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, Deep Winter and Tekken) schemes to best dispatch the crime-fighter as effectively as possible or perhaps win her over. It could go either way.

We have everything we need in a super-heroine. Great practical stunts, fight choreography, elaborate death traps, potential suitors panting at the door for her. In short, a beginning, a middle and an end. Personally, I liked it but I think a good hybrid of martial arts, sci-fi and super-heroine combo platter works well. Not to mention a showdown of Luke Goss, Michael Jai White, Bingbing Li all against Michelle Yeoh. Brutal scenes yet elegant violence.

Yeah I'm guy from Blade II and Hellboy II.