What's this? Parry Shen playing the same character twice? My God it can happen. Hey folks I am back and yes we are heading down the dark path of Horror once more. I know I am slowly gaining the reputation of doing just Horror reviews and hey, toss a message on FB or the blog and give me ideas what you want me to check out. Honestly though, you expect me to pass up on Felissa Rose and Tiffany Shepis slugging it out with a crazy monster of a man? Afraid not.
This is Victor Crowley.
|Oh Jonah, keeping an eye out for us.|
We get a flashback of a couple spooning in a canoe in the sixties. Were Del (Jonah Ray of Saul of the Mole Men, Mama's Boy, Trip Tank and MST3K: The Return) and bride-to-be Sue (Kelly Vrooman of Sunny Side Up, The Chica Show, Rekindled and Junk Drawer Magic Adventures) are relaxing in the very Honey Island Swamp. Yeah that swamp with the 6'3" murderous mongoloid madman that was played by a former Jason a.k.a. Kane Hodder!!! The amusing part is seeing Tyler Mane (Sabertooth of X-Men and Michael Myers in Zombie's Halloween) get the Samuel L. Jackson treatment of Deep Blue Sea. Hey kids! Here's some advice that just might save your asses!! SPLAT!!
10 years after the first film we are back around Honey Island Swamp, Andrew Yong, the EMT (Parry Shen of The New Guy, Better Luck Tomorrow, Tru Calling, Rule of 3, Hatchet, World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria and Far Cry 3) from Hatchet III is back for the fourth film, after the gruesome events. As the only survivor of his murderous rampage, Andrew has become a minor celebrity but hoping to move on with his life.
Hey wait a minute, didn't Marybeth (Danielle Harris of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, Daylight, Urban Legend, The Wild Thornberrys, Halloween, Halloween II and Stakeland) of the previous two films survive? Hmm, I believe she did. Where's her endorsement deal? Nike: For fleeing ax wielding maniacs?
|Once again, I am not BD Wong!|
Andrew is plugging his book and life is better but not exactly champagne and caviar. More like beer and pizza money. Andrew is a little pissed about the daytime show that his ex-wife hosts...yeah awkward. His publicist Kathleen (the vivacious Felissa Rose of Sleepaway Camp, Nikos the Impaler, Zombiegeddon, Slaughter Party, Satan's Playground, Dead and Gone, Return to Sleepaway Camp, Silent Night, Zombie Night and Camp Dread) assures him he rocked the house.
Nerdy fan girl Chloe (Katie Booth of Unstrung, Demon Gate, Tell Me How I Die and Victor Crowley) is at the convention for said book signing wanting to do X-rated carnal acts with Andrew while announcing that to her boyfriend, doofus emo Alex (Chase Williamson of John Dies at the End, Sparks, Video Game High School, SiREN, and Camera Obscura) who seems less cool about this trek. Can't ever imagine why. Apparently they are trying to pitch directing in a Horror film about the Victor Crowley murders.
Kathleen drops the bomb on Real Crime Stories wanting to fly him out to the very same swamp, exclusive, cash in on the 10th year anniversary and he makes an ass load of money. By that, I am talking a million clams.
|Subtitles of DooOooOom!!!|
The film crew is sadly part of his ex-wife Sabrina (Krystal Joy Brown of Castle, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Englishman in L.A.: The Movie and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) is determined to milk as much as she can out of his worth. Sound guy Austin (Brian Quinn of Vulgar, The Little Slutty Mermaid, The Tenderloins, Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie and 12 Monkeys) Videographer Casey (the lovely Tiffany Shepis of Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV, Bundy, Death Factory, Scarecrow, Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp, Dead Scared, Dorm of the Dead and Hoodoo for Voodoo) and makeup artist Jay (Tezz Yancey of The Bewitching, Heroes, Dice, Semi-Famous and Victor Crowley). SPOILERS!!! Yeah, pretty sure the crew would feed Sabrina to the nearest gator.
Naturally our young Indie film crew are pesky kids...that are ressurecting our great big mongoloid dunder head of death. Dammit pesky kids!! You don't read from the book, you do not get high, fool around in the woods and you STAY OFF THE DAMN MOORS!!!!
So naturally the plot device um I mean plane falls out of the sky. The creature rises from his watery grave to do harm. The only one with an inkling of common sense, Andrew is getting the third degree from all our panicked plane crash victims. Liar, accused murderer, psychopath and so on. Andrew, toss them all out and let Crowley have his way with them. Easy peasy.
Trapped in the plane, our hopeless victims are deciding whether or not to leave the plane.
Gross? Oh that is putting it mildly. Let's just say like the rest of this series, this is not for the faint of heart, those with tender tummies and DEFINITELY NOT for the kids. You listening this time, parents?? I am not having a Hatchet repeat, thank you very much.
Epinions reviews are gone yes, but I had parents losing their damn minds swearing profusely at me for a R rated film. Yeah that's balanced. Next you'll tell me it's all Samuel L Jackson's fault.
Regardless of that route altering rant there, this is exactly what you expect from director/writer Adam Green. Used an existing set to center most of the kills around. They were graphic and well done. The film had plenty of ridiculous moments and I did laugh in parts we civilized people aren't suppose to. So Hatchet fans it is a decent gore fest.
|Yeesh, even a mother couldn't love that mug.|