Monday, July 16, 2018

Victor Crowley


What's this? Parry Shen playing the same character twice? My God it can happen. Hey folks I am back and yes we are heading down the dark path of Horror once more. I know I am slowly gaining the reputation of doing just Horror reviews and hey, toss a message on FB or the blog and give me ideas what you want me to check out. Honestly though, you expect me to pass up on Felissa Rose and Tiffany Shepis slugging it out with a crazy monster of a man? Afraid not.

This is Victor Crowley.


Oh Jonah, keeping an eye out for us.















We get a flashback of a couple spooning in a canoe in the sixties. Were Del (Jonah Ray of Saul of the Mole Men, Mama's Boy, Trip Tank and MST3K: The Return) and bride-to-be Sue (Kelly Vrooman of Sunny Side Up, The Chica Show, Rekindled and Junk Drawer Magic Adventures) are relaxing in the very Honey Island Swamp. Yeah that swamp with the 6'3" murderous mongoloid madman that was played by a former Jason a.k.a. Kane Hodder!!! The amusing part is seeing Tyler Mane (Sabertooth of X-Men and Michael Myers in Zombie's Halloween) get the Samuel L. Jackson treatment of Deep Blue Sea. Hey kids! Here's some advice that just might save your asses!! SPLAT!!

10 years after the first film we are back around Honey Island Swamp, Andrew Yong, the EMT (Parry Shen of The New Guy, Better Luck Tomorrow, Tru Calling, Rule of 3, Hatchet, World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria and Far Cry 3) from Hatchet III is back for the fourth film, after the gruesome events. As the only survivor of his murderous rampage, Andrew has become a minor celebrity but hoping to move on with his life.

Hey wait a minute, didn't Marybeth (Danielle Harris of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, Daylight, Urban Legend, The Wild Thornberrys, Halloween, Halloween II and Stakeland) of the previous two films survive? Hmm, I believe she did. Where's her endorsement deal? Nike: For fleeing ax wielding maniacs?


Once again, I am not BD Wong!
















Andrew is plugging his book and life is better but not exactly champagne and caviar. More like beer and pizza money. Andrew is a little pissed about the daytime show that his ex-wife hosts...yeah awkward. His publicist Kathleen (the vivacious Felissa Rose of Sleepaway Camp, Nikos the Impaler, Zombiegeddon, Slaughter Party, Satan's Playground, Dead and Gone, Return to Sleepaway Camp, Silent Night, Zombie Night and Camp Dread) assures him he rocked the house.

Nerdy fan girl Chloe (Katie Booth of Unstrung, Demon Gate, Tell Me How I Die and Victor Crowley) is at the convention for said book signing wanting to do X-rated carnal acts with Andrew while announcing that to her boyfriend, doofus emo Alex (Chase Williamson of John Dies at the End, Sparks, Video Game High School, SiREN, and Camera Obscura) who seems less cool about this trek. Can't ever imagine why. Apparently they are trying to pitch directing in a Horror film about the Victor Crowley murders.

Kathleen drops the bomb on Real Crime Stories wanting to fly him out to the very same swamp, exclusive, cash in on the 10th year anniversary and he makes an ass load of money. By that, I am talking a million clams.


Subtitles of DooOooOom!!!















The film crew is sadly part of his ex-wife Sabrina (Krystal Joy Brown of Castle, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Englishman in L.A.: The Movie and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) is determined to milk as much as she can out of his worth. Sound guy Austin (Brian Quinn of Vulgar, The Little Slutty Mermaid, The Tenderloins, Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie and 12 Monkeys) Videographer Casey (the lovely Tiffany Shepis of Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV, Bundy, Death Factory, Scarecrow, Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp, Dead Scared, Dorm of the Dead and Hoodoo for Voodoo) and makeup artist Jay (Tezz Yancey of The Bewitching, Heroes, Dice, Semi-Famous and Victor Crowley). SPOILERS!!! Yeah, pretty sure the crew would feed Sabrina to the nearest gator.

Naturally our young Indie film crew are pesky kids...that are ressurecting our great big mongoloid dunder head of death. Dammit pesky kids!! You don't read from the book, you do not get high, fool around in the woods and you STAY OFF THE DAMN MOORS!!!!

So naturally the plot device um I mean plane falls out of the sky. The creature rises from his watery grave to do harm. The only one with an inkling of common sense, Andrew is getting the third degree from all our panicked plane crash victims. Liar, accused murderer, psychopath and so on. Andrew, toss them all out and let Crowley have his way with them. Easy peasy.

Trapped in the plane, our hopeless victims are deciding whether or not to leave the plane.





Gross? Oh that is putting it mildly. Let's just say like the rest of this series, this is not for the faint of heart, those with tender tummies and DEFINITELY NOT for the kids. You listening this time, parents?? I am not having a Hatchet repeat, thank you very much.

Epinions reviews are gone yes, but I had parents losing their damn minds swearing profusely at me for a R rated film. Yeah that's balanced. Next you'll tell me it's all Samuel L Jackson's fault.

Regardless of that route altering rant there, this is exactly what you expect from director/writer Adam Green.   Used an existing set to center most of the kills around.  They were graphic and well done. The film had plenty of ridiculous moments and I did laugh in parts we civilized people aren't suppose to. So Hatchet fans it is a decent gore fest.


Yeesh, even a mother couldn't love that mug.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Hot Lead Hard Fury


And we are back, my people. So hope you enjoyed the binge watching of Luke Cage Season 2. Today's endeavor was supposed to be done on Saturday but a migraine boned my scheduling. Our feature length film this fine Sunday is of the exploitation genre but a retro vibe over all. Meaning our ballsy director/writer/editor Mike Olafson (Galleons and Gold, Gears, Grease and Guitars, Motor Vixens and Hot Lead Hard Fury) had the audacity to film in 8mm and then convert to HD. Already I am stoked. This is Hot Lead Hard Fury.


You were expecting Black Belt Jones?
















In the streets of Steel City, a new drug is sweeping its way through the town like a plague. The city has become a haven for corruption, violence and a new designer drug called Voodoo Blue.
Described as a mixture of coke with LSD, you know that combo is going to do a body good.

When a drug sting goes belly up Detective Cal Beefer (Mike Malloy of Escape Back to the Movies,The Scarlet Worm, Naples Never Dies... It Shoots!, Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance and Page-Jumper) has been made a chalk outline, his brother Chuck (writer/actor Jesse Frazier)rolls into town to take over what baby brother Cal couldn't finish.



Man, screw Superfly. I gots the connections.















With a seventies blues montage intro we have the drug sting gone bad, our villains cackling over their evil deeds and Chuck showing off his mad skills. Yes I did laugh at his Bruce Lee Game of Death inspired tracksuit.  But that's okay.   I see the theme going.  It's all good.   Some of the car chase montage feels a bit like The Sweeny and The Mechanic.   Y'know, good things of the seventies.

The airport meet-up for the drug buy looks almost like Mohave Air and Space Port but I could be wrong.  Near Edwards Air Force Base on Highway 58.  The shoot out with the plain clothes cops and Zhang Brotherhood was hand held and raw.  Handlebar mustaches galore.   Ron whooping some ass was amazing to watch.  Enough freeze frames and dissolves to make you think this is the most graphic Charlie's Angels episode you ever did see.

So Chuck Beefer, an ex-cop living in Detroit hears about his brother's passing and knows it's up to him to clean up Steel City's streets. Under the command of Captain Columbus Jackson (Rodrico of Hot Lead Hard Fury), these boys are coming to town and baby they packing. Former dirt bike champion Jack Hammer (Mike Olafson of Hot Lead Hard Fury) is running surveillance on our brotherhood and the flow of Voodoo Blue. Looks like they got things wired. 



Foxy and fierce!
















A rival gang known as the Sisters of Sin want in on the Voodoo Blue racket as these bodacious, buxom badass babes don't take no for an answer. All these murders and drug running link up to Afro Steel, biggest hustler of Voodoo Blue. With this much action going on, can Beefer get his revenge and bring these bastards down?





Now a bit of trivia or side note if you will, Ron "Black Dragon" Van Clief of The Black Dragon's Revenge a.k.a. The Black Dragon Revenges the Death of Bruce Lee, The Last Dragon, Way of the Black Dragon andColorz of Rage is in this. Yeah a 10th degree black belt of Karate, former USMC of Vietnam era and instructor for the Secret Service. This cat has done quite a bit for the Blaxploitation genre similar to Jim Kelly. The jump cut fight sequences were killing me.

Yes parents, this is probably not one for the kiddies to watch.  Depending on your take on blood and T&A.   Definitely needed some porn staches to the likes of Harry Reems or Ron Jeremy but maybe that was a tall order.

Weapons are almost completely period piece accurate.   Seeing an Ecoline 350 with bubble windows on the sides, I thought I'd choke on my Coke.  The blood with the rich red and orange before the black food dye introduction.

Loving the rough, grainy look to the film stock giving it just enough to suggest this isn't a current movie.  With minor exposition, characters coming out of the woodwork you get a great feel like Jack Hill's Switchblade Sisters or Arthur Marks' Detroit 9000.  With a touch of Michael Cimino's Thunderbolt and Lightfoot for seasoning.  Half expected Vonetta McGee or Yaphet Kotto to grace the screen.   Just under 2 hours, this was a lot of fun.   These jive ass turkeys might just pull it off.

Damn, his gun smokes almost as much as he does.

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Luke Cage Season 2


He's bad, he's black and he's back baybees!!!  No I am not talking about myself.   Dear God I am pale as an albino.  Talking about Mike Colter's Luke Cage.  This is Luke Cage Season 2.

After the events of the Defenders and dealing with the Hand, Luke Cage (Mike Colter of The Good Wife, Jessica Jones, Agent X, Luke Cage, The Defenders and Girls Trip) returns to Harlem to rebuild Pop's barber shop and bring some peace to the neighborhood.


Yeah, you got an adult chair for me to sit in?















With Diamondback still missing and Cottonmouth enjoying his swan dive through a window, former Councilwoman Mariah Dillard (Alfie Woodard of Down in the Delta, Passion Fish, Star Trek: First Contact, Mumford, Memphis Beat, Tru Blood and Captain America: Civil War) has her heart set on bringing her project to Harlem and restore her family name.  A tad difficult when her relationship to Shades Alvarez (Theo Rossi of Red Sands, Sons of Anarchy, Lowriders, When the Bough Breaks and Luke Cage) is still moving guns for the business.

Mariah has vested interest in a deal that could net her millions if not hundreds of millions so she moves her "acquired" Hammer weapons to the highest bidder and brother they are hungry.

A new player in Brooklyn, Bushmaster (Mustafa Shakir of The Cavern, Daybreak, NCIS: Los Angeles, The Night Of, Quarry, Fight Your Way Out and Luke Cage) is looking to be heavy.


Okay, okay! You're cooler than Black Lightning. Jeez!















Meanwhile Detective Misty Knight (Simone Missick of A Taste of Romance, Scandal, Wayward Pines, American Koko, Luke Cage and The Defenders) has been given leave of her badge and her pension. If she takes it, of course. A bit of animosity amongst her fellow shields as her late partner was found dirty and in the late Cottonmouth's pocket.

Rand-Mitchum Enterprises has set her up with a bionic arm giving her one helluva right hook.   Dr. Claire Temple (Rosario Dawson of Men in Black II, Rent, The Rundown, Alexander, Sin City, Clerks II, Death Proof, Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Iron Fist, The Defenders and Luke Cage) and Cage are having...more than coffee and on the verge of building a real relationship.



Yes, I know you're looking down my dress.















A re-appearance of Colleen Wing (Jessica Henwick of Spirit Warriors, North by Northhamptonshire, Inspector Lewis, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, The Head Hunter, Iron Fist, The Defenders and Luke Cage) bonds with Misty, pointing out she is only a cripple if she feels like one.  Colleen furthermore tells Misty, if she didn't step in when she did that Colleen would be dead.

We got some more musical talent again, Ghostface Killah, Mobb Deep, Gregory Isaacs, Joi and my heart skipped a beat hearing Nina Simone.





Writer Cheo Hodari Coker once again delivers on some damn fine writing. Edgy, street and true to life in a comic book series. With an awesome R&B, decent Hip Hop and Rap soundtrack, it is hard to not like Season 2 as the heat got turned up. Special-Guest stars...well you'll have to see to believe.


You got sumthin' against the Yankees??

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Tremors 5: Bloodlines


And we're back! Yeah I was going to review a zombie film I bought called Oasis of the Living Dead but, it turns out it is an alternative title of Oasis of the Zombies via exploitation and hardcore pornography director Jesus Franco. Yay...I own a Jesus Franco movie.  Now as much as I seem to like Nazi Zombies munching on young nubile girls, I must decline at the repeat.  SoOoOOOoo... howzabout a Tremors movie instead?  This is Tremors 5: Bloodlines.


Always be prepared.















14 years after the last incident in Perfection Nevada, Burt Gummer (Michael Gross of Family Ties, Cool as Ice, Tremors, Tremors II: Aftershock, Awake to Danger, Batman Beyond, ER and Boston Legal), paranoid paramilitary survivalist extraordinaire is hosting a reality TV series, hocking flavor seasonings and his on going VHS to DVD series.  A doofy dirt biker comes in and claims to be his new cameraman for the time being while the cat he was working with is off filming Real Vegas Housewifes or some such.  Some of you may be confused why I have not gone on and reviewed Tremors 4.   Well, it's a prequel and Lucasarts taught me to avoid prequels.

Travis Welker (Jamie Kennedy of Scream, Scream 2, Son of the Mask, Ghost Whisperer and Heartbeat) is totally stoked to get Gummer in an "A" game as he is single-handedly the most qualified hunter of Graboids, Shriekers and Assblasters. Get him more to the 21st century and bring in the fans. No sooner this chitter chat ends, a man from South Africa, a one Erich Van Wyk (Daniel Janks of Ali, Generation Kill, Tremors 5: Bloodlines and Bram Fischer) is from one of the larger wildlife preserves thinking they have Assblasters in their backyard. For a big stinky check, Burt reluctantly brings Travis as his wingman in this.   I guess Earl and Grady were never going to assist again and you can forget having the Baconator with you as well.



Kool-Aid Man??!!















Off to the cradle of humanity they go when they run into the issue of a 3 day quarantine about Burt's guns not being available but they'll have some replacements. Yeah the rifle is a 30.06, a .45 peacemaker and a .303 rifle. Great stuff if you are hunting rhinos, not a humongous underground burrowing beastie and its evolution.


Lock and load people, Kevin Bacon wants back in the series.















Don't worry Burt, you got a jackass know-it-all Aussie turned South African, Johan Dreyer (Brandon Auret of District 9, Elysium, Chappie and Blood Drive), tracker and hunter.

Running the reserve, lead veteranarian Dr. Nandi Montabu (Pearl Thusi of Kalushi: The Story of Solomon Mahlangu, Quantico and Catching Feelings), a single mother and the most qualified vet in the region. Plus she might have a few toys for Burt.

These worms differ from the North American variety as they seem larger, more aggressive and even operate differently. Almost a herd mentality, making certain their young comes to existence. Cue the Jeff Goldblum lines (Uh, life finds a way?)  Little side note, Burt speaks of the creatures that they never left our hemisphere and yet in the third film, Burt went to Argentina with twin .50 caliber anti-aircraft swivel mounted machine turret.  Eh, minor oops.


My favorite addition to this posse is the helicopter pilot Ben Dravers (Ian Roberts of The Power of One, Cyborg Cop III, Rhodes, Tarzan and the Lost City, Sweepers and King Solomon's Mines), truly a kindred spirit in Burt being over-prepared for whatever comes his way. Seriously, this crazed old man had a Swedish Sjogren semi auto shotgun with drum.




One odd note is that while this is a Universal film, Stampede Entertainment who originated the Tremors franchise are not involved with this flick.  Universal 1440 Entertainment seems to be at the helm in this instead.  If you want more info, I suggest you write Universal Studios an email or two.


The maw of doom!!!

Monday, July 9, 2018

Castle Freak


Hiyas guys and gals, I am back. After a stay over with my folks, I have returned to bring about some more films to review, facts to share and a message we can all take in our hearts. Or maybe some trivia. Today's film hails from director/screenwriter Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator, From Beyond, Dagon, The Black Cat, Robot Jox and Fortress) so yeah, there may be a horror theme in it. Produced by Albert Band and Charles Band of Full Moon Entertainment, we are getting an eyeful. This is Castle Freak.


Finally! A castle to do my re-animation projects!














Inheritance can be rewarding, exhausting and more trouble than it's worth.  John Reilly (Jeffery Combs of Re-Animator, From Beyond, Fortress, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, House on Haunted Hill, Star Trek: Enterprise and SharkMan) his stunning wife Susan (Barbara Crampton of Chopping Mall, Re-Animator, From Beyond, Puppetmaster, Trancers II, Robot Wars, The Bold and the Beautiful, The Lords of Salem and Road Games) and blind daughter Rebecca (Jessica Dollarhide of Major Dad, In Living Color, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman and Castle Freak) all travel to Italy to see this 12th century castle John has inherited from the late Duchess D' Orsino (Helen Stirling of The Gay Lord Quex, BBC Sunday-Night Theatre, Sara Crewe and Angels One Five).

At the advice of the estate's executor, the three stay in the castle until they can unload it. Who wants to own a castle??!!!   I mean, other than me.   Thanks to exposition we get to find out the Reilly family are not a bunch of happy bunnies as Susan apparently blames John for the death of their son and the blinding of their daughter due to a drunk driving accident.  Awkward?   Oh just a touch.



Sweetie, that is a natural cycle for a young woman.














However, our turbulent trio is blissfully unaware of the dangers that lurk in the dungeon.  A bizarre and freakish monster locked away.  No sooner does he hear voices that did not originate from his head, he snaps off his own thumb to release him from his manacles and allow him to scurry about.  Ah manacles.   They must think the sun shines on his ass.


Attica! Attica! Attica!!














With a need for blood,(or Italian food. Pick Italian, dude!) our warped monster roams the countryside in search of victims to work out his frustrations on.   Hey, can't really blame him. Chained up and more or less, left to die?  I'd be pissed too.

Unexplained noises in the night, objects broken without anyone knowing how and Rebecca claims a stranger breaks into her bedroom.  Oh wait, sexist response!  Women!  Be quiet!  Piggish menfolk have no time for your twaddle.  Suddenly the housekeeper is missing...after she fails to find said freak in his cell.  Wait a minute...she may be in on this.



Deaths and disappearances are stacking up including the hooker John picked up after Susan didn't want anything to do with him that night. John starts to unravel who the monster might actually be but can he do it before the grotesque grabs his wife and kid?

As a fan of H.P. Lovecraft, I can appreciate Gordon's bizarre and macabre story.   He certainly liked using Jeffery Combs and Barbara Crampton over and over as they have excellent chemistry together.

In spite of this being a Full Moon Entertainment production, they did not use the castle via Subspecies.   Too bad, you could move the story to another country and boom! Reuse that creepy as hell castle.   Um cat fans, you might not appreciate an orange tabby made snack food for said freak.

Could have done without those cutaway scenes too.   Eerie music setting the tone, a dark story and an excellent cast setting the scene.  From the VHS, DVD and Blu-ray, the versions range from 88 mins American release,  90 UK release and finally 95 minutes.   

I have the full 95 and it is...creepy, disturbing and what I come to expect from Stuart Gordon.

Definitely not one for the kids, parents.  Trust me.

For the last time, there are no re-animated corpses around here!!

Friday, June 22, 2018

Horndogs Beach Party


Hey hey gentle readers!  I'm back.   Long week and a half visiting my folks after the passing of my little brother and got drafted for a writing gig.   Not that I could have objected to this fella, considering my reviews and his flicks go pretty hand-in-hand; as I am referring to former Lincoln Nebraska resident horror/sci-fi guru, Dustin Ferguson (Gloved Murderess, Demon Dolls, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death, Invitation to Die, Nemesis 5: The New Model and Amityville: Evil Never Dies).  And who am I to refuse a fellow former Nebraskan/newcomer Californian?   Our type sticks together. 

 So this time around, something different added to his growing pantheon of material as this film looks to be a bit of a screwball comedy.   Will it surpass Meatballs?   Let's find out.  This is Horndogs Beach Party.


You smell Astroglide and baby man tears?















Now, admittedly the title gave me a completely different picture and the X rated jokes are being suppressed.  I mean, c'mon.  At least watch the film before you cast doubt, people.

With a quick TV intro blurb about the impending party of fun in the sun and a wet T-shirt contest, we can expect some shenanigans of alcohol, some jiggly girls and blatant debauchery.   Y'know, good times! 
A nod to our voice over as our director as we cut right into a theme of 50s style beach music and away we go.   Crafted by the hands of Mike Reeb (Nemesis 5: The New Model, Horndogs Beach Party and Robowoman)we check in on our less than dynamic duo protagonists scoring a decent rental for their getaway. 

Stacey (David Thomas Newman of Roxanne, Rebar, Hazing and Troma presents: Mulligan's Monsters) and Loren (Jared K. Admave of Happy Face, Relationship Status and Horndogs Beach Party) have landed from a horrific red eye flight and are gearing to Par Tay!!

Meanwhile a mishap or classic miscommunication leads the fellas to some different company in the forms of Dusty (Shudan Wang of Spring, Picture Society, Scorpion Girl, Poppies, With You and No Home for Young Man) and Cory (Neveen Woods of Busted, Kythera and Horndogs Beach Party) are stuck sharing this rental with boys??  Icky!  Pubes on the soap, the cap of the toothpaste will be left off and of course the collective of beer and pizza farts.


Dude, the writer was right. I do have beer and pizza farts.















Did get a good laugh that Aunt Brinke is Scream Queen legend, Brinke Stevens (The Slumber Party Massacre, Nightmare Sisters, Warlords, Chinatown Connection, Witchhouse 3: Demon Fire, Die Sister, Die! and The Hot Tub Massacre) who tells the girls that they have to make the best of the situation.  Apparently she broke a gardner too.  Nimble little minx.

Tad (Peter Stickles of Finding Forrester, Cemetery Gates, 2 Minutes Later, Watch Out, Skinned Alive, Evil Bong 3: The Wrath of Bong and Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver) and buddy Brad are clearly meathead bros.  Yeah those bros that chug beer like it is water and somehow "get laid" in spite of their lack of personality, wit, charm or in general douche behavior.  Pissed that Stacey and Loren got the "hot chicks" are determined to ruin their party by all means necessary.   Of course my brain went right to pig's blood and severed heads on the lawn but again, that's me.

Nosy neighbor Brigitte (Dawna Lee Heising of Bladerunner, Forbidden Warrior, Mistaken Identity, Legend of the Red Reaper, Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance, Meathook Massacre II and Lake of Shadows) is slowly spinning into a tizzy.  Full blown tizzy alert!  You have been warned.  How dare those twenty somethings have a party?!   It's almost like...they're twenty somethings on vacation and having fun.  The horror.  The horror.   You'd think she would have learned from Amityville: Evil Never Dies that being a nosy neighbor can be problematic but I digress. 


How much for the Super Mario Bros/ Duck Hunt?















Brigitte bound and determined to catch the kids pulling hi-jinks (Dear God I sound old) so she plans to invade the party and get the proof she needs for the co-op board association and tattle all the way. 
Love that both Dusty and Loren's friends have to practically drag them to and fro just to go have fun.  Get the stick out kids and have a beer bong! 

 Thankfully Cory has already invited her two friends Steph (musician/vocalist/actress Daiane Azura of Big Trouble, Dead Ink, O' Bloody Night, Nemesis 5: The New Model,2 Die For and Stirring) and Becky (Vida Ghaffari of Holy Terror, Scorpion Girl, Suspense, and Horndogs Beach Party) so they are bound to bring more friends over.  Took me a few to recognize the gardner/Horndog himself, Troy Fromin.  Ox from Saved by the Bell!!!    Like I said, it took me a few.

Dawna as Brigitte was killing me.  A party on my beach with your drinking, your drugs and your fornications!  She's got a knack for comedy.   Still convinced the Brad and Tad duo are sexually repressed to levels that will only end in a very confused, homoerotic shoot out with the cops.
Stacey and Dusty's party supply montage is a great gag and shows them bonding a bit better.


With some handheld, tripod mounted and even some drone work similar to Amityville and Nemesis 5, you get the Dustin signature look in a new genre giving it a breath of fresh air.  Yes the rom com series of flicks have been annoying at best and filled with tropes.   It is nice to see some older themes getting used which I haven't seen since late 80s.  The movie feels like a nice throwback to Meatballs, The Beach Girls and even a bit of Caddyshack but still its own entity.

I had fun with this like I knew I would. Solid casting, decent pace for the film.  Nice to see Dustin cover more genres and I can't wait to see more of this. 

And for you sexist piggies,  Daiane Azura looks amazing in a bikini.   There, I lowered myself to pigdom.  Again. 


Oh my...

Friday, June 8, 2018

The Fast and the Furious


Hey folks. Well the week has been tragic as I will be attending the funeral of my little brother in a few days. He leaves behind 4 kids that will have a hard struggle to move on but I will do what I can to assist that. Today I thought we would look at one of his favorite movies. So get ready for far too much vehicular terminology, over the top action, hot guys and girls.
This is The Fast and the Furious.


'Sup playa?














LAPD officer Brian O'Connor (the late Paul Walker of Timeline, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Noel, Into the Blue, Running Scared, Flags of our Fathers, Bobby Z and Fast & Furious) is undercover to conduct investigations of potential illegal street racers are responsible for boosting semi trucks of their cargo. Like pirates of the highway. A little over 1.2 million dollars in stolen electronics has been boosted. Guess the manifests on these cargo containers didn't include SERIAL NUMBERS!!!

Okay that SNAFU writing aside, Brian is undercover racing himself, hooks up with a crew led by Dominic Toretto (Vin Disel of Boiler Room,Pitch Black, Knockaround Guys, XXX, The Chronicles of Riddick, Riddick, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Last Witchhunter and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2), a gear head with a heart of gold looking out for his baby sister Mia (Jordana Brewster of The Faculty, As the World Turns, D.E.B.S., The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, American Heist and Dallas), his sorta girl Letty (Michelle Rodriguez of Resident Evil, Blue Crush, S.W.A.T., BloodRayne, The Breed, Avatar, Machete, Resident Evil: Retribution and The Assignment), mechanic guru Jesse (Chad Lindberg of The Rookie, The Last Samurai, Adam and Ever, Punk Love, Crimes of the Past, I Spit on Your Grave and Rise of the Zombies) and gruff Vince (Matt Schulze of Blade II, The Transporter, Seven Mummies, Final Move, Mr. Brooks, The Flock and Fast Five).


Crap. Did I turn the oven off?














Thick as thieves this lot is as Brian worms his way into their albeit odd family, trying to dig dirt on the other racers in the hopes that his suspicions aren't valid. I will always get the biggest kick out of Brian's commanding officer, Sgt. Tanner (Ted Levine of Silence of the Lambs, Nowhere to Run, Detonator, The Mangler, Mad City, Superman the Animated Series, Monk, Wild Wild West, Evolution and Justice League).   I remember watching this with my brother not trying to riff the film and scream about lotion in the basket. That took some work, let me tell you.

As these sort of story lines go, naturally Brian starts to fall for Mia and the two become close. Dominic isn't thrilled about this at all. He and Brian meet eye-to-eye on this and the issue has been shelved for later. Vince who has had a thing for Mia since they were kids takes it pretty piss poor and jumps Brian.

The two hash it out and Vince is still honked off about the whole chain of events. And hey rap fans! Ja Rule is in this. Yeah I sense no one giving a crap.

Will Brian be able to do his job without compromising his feelings for Mia? Can the cops ever figure out how these thefts are really happening? Will the FBI pay Brian to learn to surf? Whoa.





Okay final thoughts, this is part heist movie and part gear head racer flick. It operates at a good solid pace, the characters are fleshed out so nothing feels like window dressing.

Bottom line is while I have seen this same formula to death (Hence the Point Break reference), it does not diminish the performances that actually come out well.

And while I was never a huge Paul Walker fan, he did touch quite a few souls and was a decent man.






Okay I will be flying out in a while, if you have any thoughts on films I should be looking over, toss me a message on the blog, Facebook page and Twitter.

Rest in Peace, Tristan. I still cannot believe you're gone.