Assault on VA_33

 Howdy all! Freelance work is coming in bursts so to speak and I have been neglecting the Readers of Rotten and I apologize. Today's film gets a lot of negativity due to be low budget and a "knock off of Die Hard". Look, I can direct you to close to 25 films using this particular formula, coupled with the fact is the talent that went into our movie of the day did a bang up job. I have one nitpick about the flick but we will get to that later. This is Assault of VA_33. 

 

C'mon out to the VA, do some tests, have some laughs.

 

 

 

 

 

Jason Hill (Sean Patrick Flanery of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, Suicide Kings, Best Men, Simply Irrestistible, The Boondock Saints, The Strip, Dead Lawyers, Demon Hunter, The Insatiable, Savage Planet and The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day) is a highly decorated vet suffering from PTSD (Post Tramuatic Stress Disorder) is meeting his sessions, dealing with the stress and the freaking out, trying to be a civilian for the sake of his little girl Sara (Sarah Elizabeth Jensen of Homicide City, Ministry of Evil: The Twisted Cult of Tony Almo, Assault on VA-33 and Jungle Room) and his wife Dr. Jennifer Hill (Gina Holden of Final Destination 3, Psych, The Butterfly Effect 2, Blood Ties, Flash Gordon: A Modern Space Opera, Screamers: The Hunting, Harper's Island, Saw: The Final Chapter, Dear Santa, Sand Sharks, The Exorcism of Molly Hartley and Boy in the Attic) who specializes in treating Vets that have suffered mentally and physically from foreign wars. 

 

Do NOT interrupt Sudoku time!

 

 

 

 

 

Jason and Sara have a lunch date with Jennifer but she gets a last minute arrival patient that needs to be evaluated for the Pentagon's satisfaction, the head of Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Welch (sOooooo many grape jelly references to be had) (Gerald Webb of The Stalker Within, In My Sleep, Megashark vs. Crocosaurus, Camel Spiders, Battle of Los Angeles, Almighty Thor, 2012: Ice Age, A Haunting in Salem, Zombie Apocalypse, Super Shark, Lizard Man, Hold Your Breath and Android Cop) who is torn from his last mission and how his men were put into the equivalent of a wood chipper and he is messed up from it.

While he is in session, a collective of mercenaries are assembled under the command of Adrian Rabikov (Weston Cage Coppola of Lord of War, Raven, Rage, As Night Comes, Undercover, Circus Kane. NCIS: Los Angeles, D-Day: Battle of Omaha Beach, Get Gone and Assault on VA-33), a Brativa Captain and looking for revenge for his imprisoned brother. He is our Hans Grubber if you will. The man with the plan. FYI, son of this Nicholas Cage guy. I hear his dad has done some movies here and there.

The mercs move in, secure the building, load it with explosives and have men at key entry points assuring no interference. Hill heads out with his daughter but his trained eyes senses something is off and proceeds to call the cops. Chief Malone (Michael Jai White of Silverhawk, Spawn, Universal Soldier: The Return, Exit Wounds, Justice League Heroes, Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?,The Dark Knight, Black Dynamite, Blood and Bone, Mortal Kombat: Legacy, Falcon Rising and Skin Trade) tries to talk down Hill with a bit of condescension and hangs up on him. 

 

Healing is a slow process and it can.. Hey! Eyes up here!

 

 

 

 

 

Their main sniper Jackson (Marc Dacascos of Only the Strong, Drive, The Crow: Stairway to Heaven, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Cradle 2 the Grave, I Am Omega, Wolvesbayne, Kamen Rider: Dragon Knight, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. And John Wick: Chapter 3- Parabellum) is topside and takes care of the roving cop checking on the VA, only to get smoked like salmon.

The chief is required to get the lead out of his ass and the crap out of his brain. He sets up a command center only to be swayed by the FBI telling him the old song and dance, " We do NOT negotiate with terrorists."

 

Hill dealing with his demons and the mercs is making his way to his wife, using weapons tactics and some solid martial arts. If anything, watch this for Dacascos and Flanery squaring off. AWESOME SCENE!

 

Yes, I will get Nicholas Cage's autograph for you.

 

 

 

 

 

Will Hill save the people in the VA? Will he lose his wife or daughter? Will Zero get out of the van?

Okay for those having an issue with the budget, shaddup! Solid stunt people co-ordination, airsoft guns and rifles with post-production instead of blank guns? Boo hoo! It is capable work, good cast and crew and gave it a concrete standing. My lone complaint? Michael Jai White NOT getting to whoop some ass. Oh sure, he got a gun fight but I didn't get to see him uncork and break out his substantial collection of martial arts. It's a popcorn flick! Don't look for a deep meaning or extensional philosophical mindset. All in all, a fun film and was well put together.

 

When paintball games go bad...

 

The November Man

Greetings and salutations, Readers of Rotten. Yeah that still sounds iffy at best. Seriously, someone workshop a better fan base name. I am coming at you with NOT a horror movie. Shocked? I can only imagine. Instead I recently had the good fortune to sink my teeth (metaphorically) into a decent spy/thriller/action film starring that Pierce Brosnan fellow. Yeah you may have heard of him from time to time. A retired spy, a long standing conspiracy, war crimes and student versus the master. This is The November Man. 

 

These prices are outrageous!

 

 

 

 

 

Based on the novel, "There Are No Spies" by the late Bill Granger; our titled movie is actually the 7^th novel of 12 and yes this writer is telling anyone that loves a good spy game to go and pick those books up.

Our story follows veteran CIA handler/operative Peter Devereaux (Pierce Brosan of Remington Steele, Noble House, The Lawnmower Man, Live Wire, GoldenEye, Robinson Crusoe, Tomorrow Never Dies, The Thomas Crown Affair, The World Is Not Enough, The Tailor of Panama, After the Sunset, The Ghost Writer and I Don't Know How She Does It) grooming his protege, David Mason, sharpshooter, hand-to-hand and follows orders (Luke Bracey of Home and Away, Dance Academy, Monte Carlo, Amensia, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Westside, Point Break, Hacksaw Ridge and Lucky Day) until he jumps the literal gun and a civilian is caught in the line of fire. Devereaux retires five years later and is free of the CIA's black bag ops, running a small cafe off of Montenegro and living life. 

 

Die, squirrel die!

 

 

 

 

 

A visit from an old colleague, John Hanley (Bill Smitrovich of Miami Vice, Band of the Hand, Manhunter, Crime Story, Life Goes On, The Phantom, Ghosts of Mississippi. Batman Beyond, Nash Bridges, A Nero Wolfe Mystery, The Practice and The Event) drops Devereaux intel that former General soon-to-be President of Russia, Arkady Federov (Lazar Ristovski of Svetozar Markovic, Terasa, The Way Steel Was Tempered, Underground, Rage, Balkan Rules, Midwinter Night's Dream, The White Lions and On The Other Side) has serious dirt that the CIA wants and they are using an operative that Devereaux recruited. Hanley says that she will only come in if Devereaux is there for the extraction.

The op goes down, car chases ensue and bullets start flying. Yeesh sounds like a hybrid of Jason Bourne and James Bond happening in Belgrade!! The asset dies, Devereaux is pissed and Mason left with the smoking gun. This huge amount of casualties and property destruction all for one name. Mira. A girl that has been missing since 1999 at age fifteen. While FSB and the CIA are all scrambling around with girls on their brains and heads up their asses, the President elect sends a wet work assassin to find anyone with the whereabouts of Mira and remove her.

Devereaux uses his skill set and finds a case worker that deals with refugees, Alice Fournier (Olga Kurylenko of The Serpent, Hitman, Max Payne, Quantum of Solace, Tyranny, Erased, To the Wonder, Seven Psychopaths, Magic City, Vampire Academy and A Perfect Day) whose every day life of shuffling papers, placing displaced girls and giving them a better life just went rocky. With more chases, fist fights and a bit of John Woo inspired Gun Fu, Devereaux and Alice get out alive but for how long?

 

 

Popeye's packin' a rod!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Calling this a political SNAFU is similar to calling the meltdown of Chernobyl a minor inconvenience. Players on all sides are looking for this girl Alice now and the objectives are not clear if she is to be interrogated, tortured, murdered or in general; have an unpleasant weekend.

The clock is ticking and Devereaux is not the young man he was but by God he is going to make retirement rather interesting.

Will the Russians get the girl? Will the CIA give her asylum? With either put a bullet through her?

 

 

Let me go on the record of saying that Devereaux is a fairly dark character. If you were expecting shaken martinis, glib lines and gentleman's rule of fisticuffs. WRONG MOVIE. Yes, we do have a former Bond but Brosnan is so far removed from that bit of double o, you start to fear for the girl's safety in even his hands.

Director Roger Donaldson (No Way Out, Cocktail, Dante's Peak, Species, The Recruit, Thirteen Days, and The Bank Job) wanted an older Bond for this role, give him a near sinister way of doing things. Daniel Craig was originally cast but prior commitments made him bow out. Donaldson opted for Sir Sean Connery, who flat out said, "I'm too old to be running around with a gun." and then remembered the rapport he already had with Pierce courtesy of Dante's Peak.

This is moody, rough and tumble. Gun play and yes fellas, there's some titty scenes. No ladies, I don't even wait for them to message me any more. Anytime I get hyped up about a compelling story or clever character arc; the almost automatic response is, "Uh yeah. So there's titty, right?" Apologies for my gender's behavior once again, ladies.

The overall vibe of this flick? Gritty, badass fights, good story and a really bang on cast for this spy thriller. Hell, I can easily watch this again.

 

Like my Ghost in the Shell cosplay?

 

Bright

So I'm back. Yeah, yeah. I've been gone and missed Halloween movie reviews. So with all the police complaints throughout the cities of this country, I thought I would get a film from the long back when 2017 (yeah my nephew loves that so long ago comment to watch me twitch). A view of the LAPD, magic and meta beings. With copious amounts of car chases, gun fights worthy of a John Woo film and snappy patter, I feel this film is sorely underrated. This is Bright. 

 

What do you mean you didn't like Fresh Prince?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Through the lens of writer/director David Ayer (U-571 The Fast and the Furious, Training Day, Dark Blue, S.W.A.T., End of Watch, Fury, Suicide Squad and Training Day TV series) shows a world looking like a modern day Middle Earth with Orcs, Elves, Fairies and every other fairy tale creature in between. Imagine exotic elves dominating Malibu, Orcs drinking 40s in South Central and humans of every color and class crammed in this expanded desert city. 

 With a long road to recovery, Officer Daryl Ward (Will Smith of Independence Day, Bad Boys, Men in Black, Wild Wild West, Ali, I, Robot, Shark Tale and I Am Legend) is fit for duty and to get back to the streets.   His partner, an Ork named Nick Jakoby (Joel Edgerton of The Hard Word, The Secret Life of Us,Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones, King Arthur, Kinky Boots, Smokin' Aces, Whisper and Dirt Game) failed to catch Ward's shooter and it has caused some tension between the two. Vowing to start a new day and not getting old hard feelings back, the boys roll into the station, load the shop and back out into town.   Dealing with routine pick ups, cruising the neighborhood, Ward is told by IA (Internal Affairs) they don't trust Jakoby's account of the shootout that landed Ward in the hospital. They want to can him but they can't just open end fire him without huge blow back. Ward agrees to record Jakoby's confession and get IA off his ass.

 

Ugh, I can smell talking monkeys.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Towards the end of shift, the boys roll down to South Central to a possible gunfight. As they investigate a building with a mass amount of dead assailants, our cops run into Tikka (Lucy Fry of Lightning Point, Reef Doctors, Mako Mermaids, Vampire Academy, Now Add Honey, Mr. Church, Wolf Creek, The Darkness and She's Missing) a young elf girl running scared with a terrifying weapon, a magic wand. With an explosion and a substantial gun fight, the Barrio hoods heard about the wand and now the crap storm is moving into an tsunami. 

 Subplot 2 indicates The FBI's Magic Division are trailing a wand user. She's a renegade elf name of Leilah (Noomi Rapace of Daisy Diamond, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played with Fire, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, Millennium, Beyond, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows and Prometheus). It would appear she and her minions...hmm lackeys? Lick spittles? Yay! Lick spittles! Anyway she and her lick spittles are trying to resurrect a being known as The Dark Lord and bring about an era of darkness the world hasn't seen in 5,000 years. 

 

Please sir, more gruel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Subplot 3 gives us Leilah and her lackeys hot in pursuit after Ward, Jakoby and Tikka to reclaim the wand and go about the ending of the world. With corrupt cops, L.A. Gangbangers, FBI not knowing who is the good guys and renegade elves, Ward and Jakoby are in the soup and brother that soup is scalding. Trying to think, catch their collective breaths and not kill one another; the boys have to protect Tikka and the wand from all this crazy that only L.A.can produce. 

Where to even begin with this flick? The racist and class issues tone is perfect. The ignorance of races and hatred of the haves and have nots holds true to these misconceptions we all have a tendency to cling to. Realizing all the elves are in Malibu makes me wonder how many spray tanned, bleach teethed white folk got tossed out of the neighborhood for "lowering the tone'. Just made me laugh is all. 

 

 

Ward and Jakoby both are openly mocked by their own. As members of minorities, folk that have been brutalized by cops of the generations, it seems obscene that either of these men would be cops in many eyes. This would be the second film both Will Smith and Jay Hernadez was in with David Ayer. The first being Suicide Squad. Yet another underrated film of David Ayer. It's violent, it's graphic and yes fellas; there's a bit of titty in it. Trust me, you will stay in for the story as well. More gun play than a Lethal Weapon flick. Hell the shots look like an homage to John Woo's A Better Tomorrow. 

 Can you let the kids watch it? Well...I'm not a parent but overall it's not that big a deal violence, language and nudity wise but again; I am not a parent. It's ultimately the parents' call. For the parents however, yeah you will get a serious gut laugh in some of these scenes. I own this and it gets slipped into the regular watching. Have a good one and sorry for the hiatus.

 

A malefic, murderous, Maybeline model?

 

Empire of the Dark

Hey folks. With the passing of character actor Joseph Pilato (Captain Rhodes of Day of the Dead) happening and some few requests for a Richard Harrsion film, I thought I would kill two birds with one stone. That is until I realized today's movie has the trifecta of "Oh Boy." with the director/writer/lead protagonist all being Steve Barkett (The Aftermath, Beverly Hills Vamp, Wizards of the Demon Sword, Dinosaur Island, Hard Bounty and Droid Gunner), I may have stepped into it. We will see. This is Empire of the Dark a.k.a. Evil Night.

Stevie Nicks' videos are weird.

Quick question for those that requested it, um who is Richard Harrison? I mean aside from the snippets of footage of him in several Godfrey Ho films, I really don't know about Richard Harrison at all. He did a handful of the Sword and Sandals flicks for Umberto Lenzi and Antonio Margheriti. Other than that, I really don't know much about him.

So fellas, being a divorced guy I know the score. You break up, the ex wants to explore new places, meet new people and typically she falls into a cult. Am I right? Well for Richard Flynn P.I. (Steve Barkett), it's just another day in the life. Yes rather than chasing down a cheating husband or bail jumper, our "Hero" is involved in a mystery. The main mystery how this film got any financing.

The ex-wife Angela (Tera Hendrickson of Havana, Empire of the Dark, Deadly Dancer, Casino, Delta, Roseanne and Ellen) pleads for Richard to save her baby and Bulbous Man springs into action. Well, he sort of shoots a lot and does the hero trope "NooOoOOOOOO!!!" when she dies.

Going through a other dimensional vortex, Flynn (who looks like he should be doing my dry wall and not an action hero) fends off a cult, rescues a stolen baby and travels back through the vortex victoriously. 20 years later, he has been in rigid training... by that I mean he doesn't miss a buffet at the Golden Corral, has the martial weapons prowess of a blind baboon with two clubbed feet and apparently is a crack shot with a revolver stuck on unlimited ammo mode.

Our protagonist is a doughy boy, balding while wearing a Jeff Foxworthy mustache, has the fight choreography prowess of a bloated walrus and looks like he is going to have a heart attack in every action scene.

Doughy Man with realistic sausagey fingered grip!

Our crazed cult leader Arkham (Richard Harrison of Secret Agent Fireball, Messalina vs the Son of Hercules,Terror Force Commando, Ninja Dragon, Diamond Ninja Force, The Ninja Showdown, Above the War, Rescue Force and Highway to Hell), a well-built, martial artist and with tons of films under his belt is...the Master from Manos? Oh sorry, he is the cult's leader that is attempting to bring the unspeakable evil to the world and Hell may reign over the planet for all eternity!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Yeah, so there's that.

Poor actor/vo actor Joe Pilato (Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, The Young and The Restless, Terminal Force, Shooters, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr., Fatal Passion, BeetleBorgs, Star Trek: Starfleet Academy and Wishmaster) was given an old man wig and a cane and next to no direction. He literally looked baffled, confused and no idea what he signed up for. This man can play a hard ass, a good uncle and a decent cop. In this? Well your guess is as good as mine.

Yes! Axe Body Spray ads, you didn't lie!

The more this film goes on, I feel like it's that Neil Breen's (Double Down) bible. I mean this is just painful. The blocking is laughable, more than half of Barkett's lines have clearly been ADR in and the guy barely sounds like him. A gaggle of women added to this flick are unaccredited, probably because it would bring great shame to their families and the broadswords they are using are clearly replicas that are heavier than actual spring steel or aluminum blades.

NO ONE has any stunt safety. They chucked an actual spear at Barkett and he ducks in time. Meanwhile my brain is reeling from how badly that stunt could have ended. They're called jump cuts!!! You brain dead ass!!! His sidekick son (actual son Christopher Barkett) looks either bored, clueless from scene to scene or simply emotes as well as Dad. So if that was what you were going for, bravo! You aced that!

So you get those Toto tickets you promised me, Satan?

The blocking is terrible, there are scenes that clearly need retakes, lighting is...okay. Sound quality? Dear God he needed a better boom mic or put a windsock on it. Hell the title doesn't even make sense when there was no empire to speak of. The alternative title doesn't add up either given this took place longer than a night.

This movie looks like what you would show film students the dos and don'ts of film making. Have some level of budget to include some fight choreography, aluminum blades for most scenes and some real steel blades for close up shots. When you go this ambitious, remember that as the lead actor you can get HURT! Look I am not kicking this man in the stomach. I can see the passion he has for the project. He wants this to come off as a hybrid of Brosnan's Death Wish meets Krull but baby it just ain't so.   Hell I am amazed they had blank firing guns and didn't just risk almost shooting each other.

The creature effects, stop motion animations, miniature scale and overall visual effects from Jim Davison of 4 Ward Productions (Bride of Re-Animator, The Great Los Angeles Earthquake, Batman Returns, Honey, I Blew Up the Kid and Tremors 4: The Legend Begins) is solid work. But when you have this donut muncher shooting at a bunch of guys in robes with a sit prone firing position with almost every response to the danger, it loses its luster. Which really blows because the creature effects and scale models looked damn good.

With all these extras that were clearly friends and family, you forget there are actual actors trying their best with this script that you wouldn't wipe your butt with. You'd use poison ivy or something more irritating, like a Paul W. S. Anderson script.

For God's sake, learn a hip throw and just get a black training mat for your opponent/stuntman to land on! Simulate a throat strike, snap kick at a knee, grab a rubber knife and slash a throat!

At the end of the day, if you need an unintentional comedy, here's your flick. Need a drinking game movie? You're in luck. You want a story that isn't so convoluted, goofy and the lead protagonist having less sex appeal than roadkill, well go look at anything else. Hell even Krull. Yeah sorry, still not a fan.

Damn you, Axe Body Spray! Again with this crap!!

Death Proof

Hump Day! Yeah this week has been slipping by. Sinuses have been delightful. So I thought we would do some Tarantino from the double feature, Grindhouse. The Plant Terror segment was directed by Robert Rodriguez.   The term Grindhouse establishes marque or drive-ins exploitation films using vulgar language, sexual themes and extreme depictions of violence. The criteria biker flicks, slasher horror films and English Dubbed Martial Arts films. So with that, howzabout Kurt Russell as a villain, lovely ladies lives on the line and near indestructible car. This is Death Proof.

Girls' road trip!

Our story opens with the usual seventies style font for title cards, musical score piping through and confirming Tarantino's foot fetish. Oh sorry, did folks not know about that?

Three friends hit a bar in Texas to celebrate disk jockey "Jungle" Julia Lucai (Sydney Tamiia Poitier of Veronica Mars, Blues, Knight Rider, Kendra, Chicago P.D.and Carter), Shanna (Jordan Ladd of Embrace of the Vampire, Never Been Kissed, The Specials, Cabin Fever, Madhouse, Hostel: Part II and Robot Chicken)and Arlene (Vanessa Ferlito of 24, Spider-Man 2, Man of the House, Shadowboxer, CSI: NY, Graceland and NCIS: New Orleans) for two reasons, Jungle gets top slot and it's her birthday. The girls are hanging, gabbing and a bit of boy talk. Julia states on a radio announcement that her friend, "Butterfly" will give a free lap dance to the contestant that buys her a drink and quotes a passage from Robert Frost's Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. Some chicks are just demanding that way.

This is not a time period piece unless smartphones learned time travel. Arlene swears she saw the guy prior but our boy Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell of The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, Love, American Style, Superdad, Elvis and Used Cars) got her a drink and managed a recite pretty damn well. He earned his lap dance, one would conclude.

I'm so not blowing Kurt Russell....again.

The girls' party starts petering out and one of their friends Pam (Rose McGowan of Scream, Phantoms, Jawbreaker, Ready to Rumble, Charmed, Planet Terror and Nip/Tuck) needs a lift and Stuntman Mike is more than able to oblige.. His ride is unique. 100% Death Proof. That would make a decent sales pitch for a used car lot, right? He neglected to mention, you have to be on his side of the car. He peels out, finds Julia and party and smashes in them in such a fashion, it looks like the girls plowed right into him.

With his alcohol levels practically nil and the girls' higher than a Georgia pine, Mike is written off as the victim but Sheriff McGraw (Earl Parks of Arizona Heat, Twin Peaks, Sorceress, From Dusk Til Dawn, 13 Moons, Kill Bill: Vol.1, The Librarians, Kill Bill: Vol. 2, One Night with You and Red State) swears otherwise. With no hard evidence, he reluctantly let's Mike scram.

That'll buff right out.

14 months later, Mike is back to his old tricks again as he spots three good looking girls, Abernathy (Rosario Dawson of Josie and the Pussycats, The Rundown, Alexander, Sin City, Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Iron Fist and The Defenders), Kim (Tracie Thoms of Wonderfalls, Descent, Cold Case, Safe House, Looper and Raze) and Lee (Mary Elizabeth Winstead of Passions, Wolf Lake, Sky High, Scott Pilgrim vs.the World, Live Free or Die Hard and Fargo)

at a convenience store, snapping pics of them. Probably wanking in his car as well. Mike's kind of a scumbag as you may have figured out.

If Kurt's world is black &white, it just got a little cooler.

The girls are picking up a friend of theirs, Zoe Bell. (Zoe Bell of Billy Elliot, Angel of Death, Gamer, Whip It, Bitch Slap, Fallout: New Vegas, Raze and Mercenaries) Stuntwoman extraordinaire, buddy and race car junkie. She tells the girls she wants to test drive a 1970 Challenger, the same make and model of the 1971 flick, Richard C. Sarafian's Vanishing Point starring Barry Newman and Cleavon Little. The owner is reluctant until Abernathy tells the owner that Lee is in porn and will be staying behind while they test drive the car.

THANKS Abernathy!!

Will Stuntman Mike make another crack up? Will the girls be victimized? Will I keep the spoilers to a minimum?

And now a few film facts!!! Yeah hold your applause, those that are fleeing. Okay,

a)  The jukebox that is seen in the bar is actually our director, Quentin Tarantino's own personal jukebox that was trucked in and the list of albums are made by his discretion.

b) Stuntman Mike's rides are a 1969 Dodge Charger and a 1970 Chevy Nova.

c) Zoe Bell being a stunt double for Uma Thurman in the Kill Bill Vol 1 and 2 was expecting to be an extra but in fact was surprised when Tarantino gave her the lead heroine role instead. How do you break that news? With a blown up pic of her on the cover of your film. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Lastly, d) This film is presented in chronological order and zero flashbacks!!! DOES NOT COMPUTE!!

On the ego killing front, this movie came out in 2007, which ages Kurt Russell at 56 and STILL his arms look like spun steel. Sorry, sorry. Just trying to bulk up. Hey we got a Wilhelm scream addition.

We also have characters from the zombie horror, Robert Rodriguez Planet Terror making appearances as this was events happening leading up to their film. The scratchy effect of the daily footage, cigarette burns and jump cuts are all on purpose to give a next to no budget exploitation flick and homage to the 70s. They actually used razor blades to scrape the footage rather than that cheesy digital overlay effect in post production. Yeah I can do that effect too, so I can appreciate the extra effort that went into this.

With Zoe doing her own stunts, I would be piss scared if anything happened to her but hey I am glad I didn't have to make that call. From lighting and music cues, it reminds me of Friday the 13^th meets Race with the Devil. Simple story, good looking cast and some quality tunes. Dark story it may be, impressive nonetheless.

Cruisin' and jammin' to tunes.  Dear God I'm old.

Overlord

Back again, girls and boys! It has come to my attention from some of the fans that older films aren't completely grabbing enthusiasm. That's fine. I can manage a few modern films for reviewing pleasure. I would point out of course, I am the one watching these flicks. The decree has been heard nonetheless and today I thought we would take a look at a Bad Robot Production. With JJ Abrams' production company footing the bill, what say we watch some Nazis getting their just due? This is Overlord.

No jagoffs, I'm not Kurt. That's my dad.

Directed by Julius Avery (Little Man, Solvent, The Tank, Son of a Gun and Overlord) We open with the sounds of news reels depicting the events to happen, footage of the fleets at the ready and the mission ready to go. At the cusp of D-Day, an American paratrooper squad is sent to destroy a German radio outpost when their plane is shot down before reaching their objective. With enough AA fire through the cab, the plane is roached and the men gotta hit the silk or be just as dead.

With five survivors of the crash, Sergeant Rensin (Bokeem Woodbine of The Rock, The Big Hit, The Breed, Sniper 2, Saving Grace, Southland, Riddick and Spider-Man: Homecoming) in command alongside his men; Pvt.Boyce (Jovan Adepo of Blood Relatives, NCIS: Los Angeles, The Leftovers, Fences, and Mother!), Demolitions expert,Corporal Ford (Wyatt Russell of Escape from L.A., Soldier, Cowboys & Aliens, This is 40, Love and Honor, 22 Jump Street and Everybody Wants Some!!), sniper Pvt.Tibbet (John Magaro of Crisis in Six Scenes, War Machine, Orange Is the New Black, Marshall, Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan, Overlord and The Umbrella Academy), plucky war photographer Pvt.Chase (Iain De Caestecker of 16 Yars of Alcohol, River City, Taggart, Lip Service, Ultimate Spider-Man, Not Another Happy Ending and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) and Pvt.Dawson (Jacob Anderson of Injustice, Demons Never Die, Skins, Episodes, Comedown, Broadchurch and Game of Thrones).

How about a little fire, Scarecrow?!

Aside from being a little banged up, the team gear up and move out. Dawson finds a landmine, the hard way and well that's all she wrote. The rest of the team beat feet into a village and they encounter a young French woman name of Chloe (Mathilde Ollivier of Walking Home, The Misfortunes of Francois Jane and Overlord) who attends her little brother and aunt; the latter disfigured from some top secret experimentation via the SS.

Making the rounds on a routine check point, SS Haupsturmfuhrer Wafner (Pilou Asbaek of Lucy, Silent Heart, 1864, A War, Ben-Hur, The Great Wall,bGhost in the Shell and Game of Thrones) stops by to sexually harass Chloe with a fashion of practice. Boyce and Ford jack him up and hold him hostage for interrogation and boy is he a sour Kraut. Yup, the Ratzis are back into the supernatural and occult. Cue Wolfenstein music! With B.J. Blazkowicz and Dr. Jones unavailable for Nazi ass kicking, our team must venture this dangerous mission on their own.

Ze Master Race needs a makeover ASAP!

Making their way into the church itself and the smell of cooked bodies wafts the countryside. They say tower and it is a heavy portcullis (heavy grated gate), barbed wire, truck and foot traffic to the likes that would have sent Force 10 from Navarone fleeing into the night.

Deep in the catacombs, Boyce is witnessing first hand how the experiments are going on these poor Frenchmen and brother bring a bucket for yuck. Further exploration and he finds Rosenfeld (Dominic Applewhite of The King's Speech, The Inbetweeners, Watson & Oliver, Sightseers, Les Miserables, Disobedience and The Crown), fellow paratrooper and Boyce's buddy.

With only five men, a handful of explosives and a Frenchwoman, our troops got their work cut out for them.

A creepy serum (No Vita Rays for your Captain America fans) seems to have resurrection capabilities, enhancing strength and creating a denser skin properties. Yeah not gonna go wrong there.

Let me root for Jovan Adepo's Boyce. This kid's got chops. Plunging into a lake, doesn't panic, saws through the chute and gets air in no time. Hits dry land, immediately checks his .45 and starts looking for survivors. Grabs a rifle no longer having an owner, clears it and heads into the woods. I'm damn impressed for a kid barely out of boot camp.  Let's not forget that is paratrooper Airborne training though. Yeah for us civvies, he is Special Forces.  He has a true arc of being scared out of his mind but being there for his squad.

Ewww...juicy.

Wyatt Russell's Ford cares about the mission and his men. His own life doesn't even enter the equation. He can't help but give a damn about the villagers as well. If he was always a hard ass, he couldn't have ever lived with himself .

Now the big argument for the war buffs will be African Americans weren't integrated into making mixed paratroopers. The 555 (African American Paratroopers) never went over seas in spite of being combat ready. Blah blah blah.

The radio tower didn't have one piece of German electronics in it. I saw a Navy unit (USA) and I believe a British receiver. Okay it's a nitpick but dammit howzabout the prop guys hammer together a decent prop and light board. Just give the illusion. I'm not saying hit every TV and radio show up and down the coast but give the pretense is all.

I swear, somebody fart on this plane again, they going without a chute.

With this seemingly WWII flick gets violent, has a solid past, great cast and crew and is a definite popcorn movie. With a hybrid of horror/sci-fi and war time action, this gives a creepy and clever storyline. Yes we have seen the Nazis muck about with supernatural, science based zombies, werewolves and Cro-magnon sex camps. This is trying for something different and combining it with the impeding D-Day event just gives it more.

At the end of the day, this 109 minute flick has more ups than downs. You want to dissect it and play Devil's Advocate over every factual facet, that's for you.   Me?   I had fun but I really wished I hadn't eaten dinner during it.

Guardians

And we are back in action. Last week, many of you commented how there was only one write-up and that was on Sunday. With a series of migraines and tearing more muscles than I ever wanted, I am still not exactly skibbling along. Yeah I am writing this from my laptop because...ow.

The next complaint to address has been that there has been too many "schlocky horror and jiggly girl films, and I need to diversify my pantheon of writing."   Um have you read this blog before?    So with this in mind and the spirit of Halloween on the rise, I'll review something other than just horror. 

Killjoys. Today we look into a Russian superhero film released in 2017 which looks promising in the Avengers have differences but we settle them long enough to save the world kind of vibe. This is Guardians.

Group photo! No pushing and shoving, kids.

Note no trash pandas nor talking ficus to be found. Our story establishes credibility during the Cold War.   For those of the ages of 20 and up, we were neck and neck with spies, Rambo dropping his balls in Russians' faces and enough nuclear 180 megaton warheads to cook the planet to a nice even simmer.   Also space race.

We open with old timey stock footage of the Cold War era, unleashing spy planes, jet fighters, JFK giving us a stirring speech so you know that First Secretary Nikita Khrushchev was ready to bang a shoe during a UN Meeting and amazing vocals by Yuliya Tereshchenko.  Oh NATO, yeah you really did deal with a lot.

We see an assortment of medical trials, charts, graphics and early 50s tech as several people seems to be worked on or altered.  Whether it is genetic manipulation, mutations from hmm..Chernobyl perhaps?   80's reference!!

Testing mecha tank units and showing off deployment and effectiveness against T 34 and T 70 tanks when the mechas have a T-1000 Robocop moment and turn the contents of those tanks into chunky salsa and took out a Mil Mi-24 (heavy armored helicopter) with one missile.   Then took out the test control room.   Hmm probably a software glitch.   We'll iron that out in no time. Shock of all shocks, the advanced tech has been taken over by...a hybrid of Bane and Whiplash?   So Mickey Rourke or Tom Hardy.  Take your pick.

With this new threat imposing on the Motherland, who do they turn to? Well this isn't Marvel so no Winter Guard. Google it, Russian superhero team from the early 80s. An organization called Patriot (yes similar to SHIELD) gets the news and gets to work debriefing these agents to an series of experiments that hailed as far back as the late 40s. Recombining DNA, cybernetics in its infancy and genetic manipulation.

Dr Avgust Kuratov (Stanislav Shirin of Vse o muzhchinakh and Guardians) was discredited when dedicated his life to a project known as Module 1, a remote access to dominate any device with an engine running through it.  Saaaaay, aren't we biochemical batteries?   Moving on, Not Colonel Fury, General major Dolgov (Vyacheslav Razbegaev of Dark Planet, Dark Planet: Rebellion, Antkiller D.K., Bashnya, Bayker and Underworld Trilogy: The Cop) does a bit of exposition plot dump similar to Samuel Jackson via Avengers so yes the formula is fairly close and blah blah blah. No friggin aliens, Asgardians or frozen old timey guys, so move on.

Experiments gone awry, Kuratov became superhuman in strength, stamina and mass.

For honor! For Capcom!

Major Larina (Valeriya Shkirando of Battalion, Diggery, All That Jam, Guardians Obmen and S'parta)Not Maria Hill has been given the less than desirable task of reassembling a team of beings specifically capable of this looming terror. She must do this within two weeks so they can prep, outfit and hope equip these beings for the impeding fight ahead. With a man that can Earth bend, Ler (Sebastien Sisak of Racism in the Subway, Rosalie, Through the Air, Drift, The Earthquake, Guardians and Unforgiven), a geokinetic if you will, is promised revenge on Kuratov to him.  Um, not sure if that is standard protocol but hell he seems to be in.

A young man out of the deserts of Kazakhstan moves like the wind and deadly with two curved blades. Kind of looks like he is cosplaying Strider via Capcom but all in black, Khan (Sanjar Madi of The Other Side, Tale of a Pink Hare, Yolki 2, Hunting the Phantom and Guardians), to Siberia in the foot hills lurks Arus (Anton Pampushnyy of Bednaya Liz, Mstitel Poor Liz, Tatort, Come on- Therapy for the Undecided and Stepmother's Tales), an 8 foot high werebear and 6 foot in human form. Lastly, at Moscow Circus performance is Kseniya (Alina Lanina of Sled, Kuhnya, Guardians and Pervye) a girl with the ability for decent hand to hand combat, turn invisible and water abilities is...um an aqua ballet performer?   Yeah I am stumped on this one.

Mecha Tank. So cool to say and type.

To go further, all Guardians are roughly 40 years older than they physically appear. Apparently Kuratov's experiments stopped or stunted their aging process. That roughly puts them all about 90.

Kuratov is plotting to back the old chestnut of take over the world with his clone army. Cue the John Williams music.

Can the Guardians fight against this madman??? Will there be anything of Moscow left to save???

With a budget of 380,000,000 rubles...translates to about 5 million dollars, the effects for CGI, wirework, slo mo camera speeds, fight choreography and gun fu, it's pretty damn impressive.

Personally I hope it gets a sequel.

Yes, we can argue it is part of the foundation that is team of misfits, argue a bit, join forces and tackle the main antagonist. Hey that is the building blocks of far too many films, people. So before you start casting stones at a geokinetic(controls earth and rock), an invisible bad ass, a speedster with a wicked set of blades and a werebear with a minigun... give it a view first.

FYI, you can find this on Amazon for about 3 bucks to rent for two days just so you know or you Prime folk can watch it for free I believe.

Baloo??

Bloodline

Hey folks back again. Looks like I have been requested by producer/director Benny Tjandra of Syndicate Smasher gave me a brother seeking vengeance/justice but it is also old school martial arts so yeah I can't walk away from that.

Also Benny is a very nice man and blowing off decent folk is not my style. Who knew the title was that popular, I mean there are commonly subtitle but hey we will persevere.  This is Bloodline a.k.a. Love Sick 2.

So from there on in, I was known as Mr. Clean.

On a serious note, Bloodline as a title and subtitle as far back as 1979 as a title itself.

We open with a somber musical score as our production titles fly by and...a sex scene. Okay won't be taking any screenshots here. A man and woman realizes the spark is gone out of their love life and she wants to know what is all the brooding about. Ran Keo has a lot of his mind, primarily who had the guts to kill his brother and how he is going to spread those guts all over the walls.

Flashbacks that intertwine with present day manhunt in Cambodia, it is obvious Ran Keo (Director/Actor Sam B. Lorn of Moneybally, Seven Psychopaths, Trade of Innocents, The Hangover Part III, Daddy's Love and No Escape) he did not get all his answers, we cut to Long Beach with a cop duo Kong (Daniel Lue of Loaner, Pure Genius, Lucifer and Bosch) and Tara Cruz (Mojan Nourbakhsh of Running the Code, Daddy's Love, Straw Dolls, Armenia, My Love... and Bloodline).

Also I don't know if the syndicate is supposed to be 14K triad or Taiwan's Bamboo Union Gang. Hell they could be Malaysian pirates for all I know.

Kidney punch!

The leader of the mob, Vinny (vo and actor James Taku Leung of Lovesick, Man of a Thousand Faces, Call of Duty: Black Ops, Resident Evil 6, Palace of the Damned, Wolf Mother and Westworld) is being harassed by the detectives for a girl fished out of the river with her hands and feet slashed and burned. The dead tell no tales and such.

True to his word, Vinny sics his high priced lawyer on the department with the D.A. Akemi (Gina Hiraizumi of Port Charles, Soap Girl, Camp Utopia, Only the Brave, Castle, Never Say Never, Deadly Sins and The Fast and the Fierce) and department Captain (Larry Wang Parrish of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Late Autumn, The Republic, Imperial Conquest, Desire Street, Client 14, Operation Terror and Grand Theft Auto V) give them the ritual buddy cop ass chewing of going over their authority and how dare they break procedure.

Uh oh, we ran out of gas.  We're gonna make out now, right?

Ran meets up with Nimol (Mia Sun of Lure, Going Home, Trade of Innocents, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, No Escape and Small Talk) who gives him vital information on his chase of these volatile men...mostly to avenge her daughter. There's definitely more going on in that scene but I am not one for spoilers.

Vinny explains to his number one man Sonny (Stuntman/actor Vaughndio Forbes of CSI: NY, Resident Evil: Vengeance, Extraction: Genesis, Vain: This Party Sucks, Black Panther and Bloodline) that this situation has been building up for over ten years and someone has been talking.

Now just a few comments on our director, Sam B. Lorn.  He has spent his indie days after being educated in New York Film Academy and worked every aspect of film and distribution for Assembly Films, Screen Gems and The American Museum of Natural History Shelter Films.

With engrossing the Khmer-American views and stories to the movie industry, he managed get thee 2005 film, Lovesick with minor aid from Angelina Jolie.   Several of the actors from Lovesick is probably why Bloodline's working title is Lovesick 2.

The cops are going to be plenty busy picking up after Ran's spree and you'd think they have to stop and wonder if they just give him enough time, will most of these scumbags be dropped and is that a bad thing.

A few points on the protagonist, Ran can take and give a beating. He is driven by the needs to set these wrong doings right and really doesn't care about what happens to himself. That is a dangerous man to cross.

Really felt like a love letter to Michael Winner's Death Wish with Charles Bronson or perhap John Woo's Hard Boiled with Yun-Fat Chow. Solid handheld camera work, good martial arts choreography, a real throwback to the late 70s to early 80s action dramas of the time.

  Now understand, that the violence is nowhere near either of those films.  Toning it down was actually a good way to go in my humble opinion but still comes off as a hard nosed guy wanting to take the lives of the men that stole from him so much.

Sam B. Lorn gives a substantial performance as an actor and this cast and crew move like water under his direction. I hope to see more of his work in the future. Definitely a name I will be keeping track of.

Okay that is just pretty to stare at.