A*P*E*

Hiyas kiddies! Did you miss me? No? Not even a little bit. Again, I stress if there is something you want me to review, all you need to do is to hit me up on Facebook via Rotten Reelz Reviews page and leave a suggestion. If needs be, I will create an e-mail solely for suggestions, comments and complaints. That being said however how about a King Kong knock off? Not enticing enough? Well if I through a giant killer great white shark, would that help? Still no? Alright dammit I am pulling out all the stops and aiding an enormous python as well. That clenched it. This is APE.

The suspense of a man in a gorilla suit vs a snake is killing me!

Okay let's get the alternative English titles out of the way because there are so many and each are a gem in of themselves. The New King Kong, Super Kong, Hideous Mutant, A*P*E*, The King Ape, A*P*E*: Attacking Primate Monster and my personal favorite that made me snicker; Attack of the Giant Horny Gorilla. No, I did not make up that title.

Brought to us by Kukje Movies in 1976 (Final Temptation, Cheondong, The Bloody Fist, Valley of the Wicked, Iron Will, Kung Fu Party and Two Sisters), a South Korean production company brings us the impeding terror that is APE... Shot primarily in Seoul and probably a few back lots and closed sets for the small scale footage, so expect a few goofs, some factual errors and more bad line English dubbing than most early Jackie Chan flicks. Normally I honestly try to be objective to most movies, even the ones I do not care for but every so often, I get one of these movies that make me want to pull my hair out. I suppose I should begin at the beginning then.

God, I hope that isn't a real, dead shark he is wrestling with.

If you will recall, many moons ago I reviewed Mighty Peking Man which was a rip-off of King Kong as well, and while the story wasn't to really take away from, nor was it original and genius, it still was vastly superior to this pile of monkey flop I felt was interesting today. While both films were cashing in on the 1975 remake starring Jeff Bridges, Charles Grodin and Jessica Lange, this was the most poorly executed, lower budget and having no idea how to scale items and creatures. I was baffled how a 36 foot ape is towering of a 20 story high rise. Whoops? Also what drags in the audience for a King Kong wannabe? Let's put it in 3-D! Ahh Styrofoam rocks are flying off the screen! Our movie opens up on a small scale freighter that looks like it is floating in a kiddie pool as apparently we have a group of sailors, great white hunters that have tagged and trapped our ape...totally off screen. You know, because that would have been interesting to view.

Our ADA recordings are so loud and we get so much static between lines it is actually painful to hear in mono. Riveting material aside, our creature finally starts wake from the "gas" they put him out with wears off pretty darn quick and there's a rumble at the high seas as a badly constructed and fake fur glued hand appears. The boat just up and explodes and maybe you shouldn't transport your giant apes next to that cargo hold full of nitroglycerin. Quick note, apes aren't known for their swimming ability at all. Looks like they raided a Wal-Greens for one of those cheaply made gorilla costumes and hoped that no one would see the Velcro portions in the back. For no reason other than Jaws hit the charts, the ape is combating a large shark for...reasons and proceeds to slap around said blatantly obvious rubber shark to a battle to the death. Also thank God he was so close to the shore, given most water is deeper than 36 feet as our annoyed simian makes his way to Korea to start his rampage. SOLDIERS LEAVE APE ALONE!..is what he would have said if given a voice for his rage.

Of course every giant ape needs a helpless blonde girl to scoop up and our visiting actress to South Korea is...Joanna Kerns from Growing Pains? Eh, beats working with Kirk Cameron. Oh this scene with kids sneaking into an amusement park which is vacant for no particular reason, you see our A*P*E* gawking longingly at the kids to the point I am calling a sex offender hot line. It had no real context to anything. He didn't trash the place or eat the little ones so overall no point to it.

This film is the reason of drinking games with your friends. Already I have seen enough guide lines(wires that keep an object, person or thing in frame of your shot) for the 3-D cheese to cause alcohol poisoning. With houses, buildings and even streets looking like they are painted cardboard and Styrofoam, it is no wonder than King Kong and Jaws were not threatened by this turd waffle. This film offers excellent material for riffing and outright mocking but aside from that, yeah don't bother with it.

Cold waters doesn't improve APE's disposition...or image.

Sci-fi Gems Week

Well hello there readers that somehow haven't found anything better to gaze upon yet I am glad to have kept your interest! Well we have managed our way through Italian horror fairly well and I thought... Hey, perhaps these devoted folks might want to see some decent sci-fi that doesn't hail from a channel rhyming with squiffy. So this week I am digging into my own archives of yesteryear, maybe a few years back and those that simply got missed.

My nose itches.. I don't mind tellin' ya.

Yes as often I have covered this particular genre, I am now going to be rummaging through the various sub-genres and excavating a fairly competent lot of science fiction that will be fascinating for some, boring and long-winded for others and lacking enough explosions for the 12 year old boys inside most menchildren. This of course can range from time travel to straight up hostile environment to the Last Man on Earth scenario that is far too coveted by Americans. Seriously, check with your friends of foreign lands and see how predominant or ruling that is stateside.

Keep in mind that I will be hitting the way back machine without Mr. Peabody's expertise and/or permission but his boy Sherman assures me everything will be nominal. So from the 1960s to Now I am hoping for find more than a few gems to share with you lot in the hopes to prove there is good Sci-fi out there you just have to look... sometimes for a very long time. Might help if a Hollywood Video or Blockbuster still existed in my immediate area but thank God there's a Redbox handy... for all my dated Sci-fi needs. I f&*king hate Redbox. Without further adieu, This is Sci-fi Gems Week!

My hair remains fabulous.

Red Dwarf Favorites: Me2

Hello and welcome to the Jupiter mining vessel Red Dwarf.  Three million years into deep space, this hydrogen gas powered mammoth is over 6 miles long and 3 miles deep containing the last human being in existence, a holographic projection of the former crew and a humanoid that evolved from the domestic house cat.  Powering and running this ship at full tilt is the A.I. known as Holly, who may be senile and gone a bit peculiar.  This episode starts in continuity from Confidence & Paranoia where Arnold Rimmer has an exact duplicate of himself created to torment Lister further and allow Rimmer the drive and ambition to climb up the ranks and earn his command he so desperately craves.  This is Me2.

Beats doing the latrines!

Rimmer: Everything you ever did, you did to pull me back and spoil me.
Lister: Like what?
Rimmer: Like using my Mother's photography as an ashtray.





Lister's (Craig Charles of Red Dwarf, Cyberspace, Captain Butler, Doctors and Coronation Street) dead roommate is moving out of their sleeping quarters and moving in with an exact copy of himself who is equally petulant, whiny, snidely and all around smeghead.  A mid-level technician with a Napoleon complex.  Arnold Rimmer (Chris Barrie of Black Adder the Third, Spitting Image, The Legends of Treasure Island, The Brittas Empire, Get Fit with Brittas, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life) is delighted at this turn of events and cannot wait to improve his rank and station in life now that he is away from the negativity that is Lister.  Lister comes across a tape Holly made for Rimmer as a tribute to his death.   Frankly to me, it sounds like a snuff film but hey to each their own I say.

Beside himself with joy.

Meanwhile the Cat (Danny John-Jules of Labyrinth, In Dreams, Maid Marian and Her Merry Men, The Tomorrow People, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Blade II and Death in Paradise) has once again put on his finest and outlandish wardrobe, greased his skates and is making his moves...  for a mate or three.  Yes he is skating the hallways with a megaphone announcing to all females to form a que and wait their turn.   As the days progress the Rimmers start squabbling, pointing out their flaws to great length and blame one another for the failure to be in command.
In spite of living on a vessel that is the size of a small city the Rimmers constant bickering has driven Lister, the Cat and even Holly batty and it is time for one of them to go.  But who will it be?  The original that had the bright idea of creating a clone of himself or the clone that claims validation in existence as well?

A few comments to make on this episode.  The death sequence for Rimmer as he mutters his final words, Gazpacho soup is of course a homage to Citizen Kane's Rosebud but how they bring the story out of Rimmer is to die for.  Chris Barrie's facial expressions in this scene are priceless as he portrays this haunted and distraught man when the dialogue is making you tear up from laughter.

Smoking in theaters...  IN SPACE!!!!

Godzilla Vs Week: Godzilla Vs Gigan

Welcome ladies and gents, one and all to Day 5 of Godzilla Vs Week and boy do we have a cluster of critters tearing up the countryside to the likes of Man of Steel.  This time around we will see Ghidorah's home-world and his oppressors making him do their bidding.  What???!!!   An innocent Kaiju??!!!    Nah, he is a collaborator, see?  They're giving him a piece the action.   This is Godzilla Vs Gigan.

Stop doing the Monster Mash!  STOP IT!!!

Priest: Children's Land"  Is that some sort of a spoiler name for a lunatic asylum?







It would appear that large cockroach like creatures  from Nebula-M are invading the Earth to colonize and assume control but...  those pesky humans might be cagey so it is best to approach this in the form of a theme park!!!   Disneyland and world are controlled by giant cockroaches!!!   Heh, moving along we see the aliens are going on a Zygon and assuming through metamorphosis the guise of the work staff and higher ups that is developing the peace- themed park, World Children's Land...  I hope something got lost in translation or that is the crappiest name for a theme park.  The centerpiece of the park is a huge Godzilla Tower shaped in his image.   Popular Manga artist stumbles upon this plot of invasion as his work is essential to design the park when he hears of two audio tapes known as Action Signal Tapes that will summon the space monsters Ghidorah; thought to be destroyed by Godzilla, Rodan, Anguirus and Mothra and a new cyberorganic creature Gigan as they will rain havoc down on the Earth.

The artist and a buddy of his accidentally took one of the tapes mistaking it for a mix tape and goes home to play it.  Yeah planetary domination requires both of these key elements, the monsters and the control over them and bug boys already dropped the ball.   Godzilla and Anguirus are relaxing on Monster Island without a Mole Man in sight when they hear this high frequency noise.  Godzilla sends Anguirus to investigate it.  It's good to be the king.   Anguirus heads to the mainland only to be jumped by the Japanese Self Defense Force in a misunderstanding of the creature's actions.  Rather than go sickhouse on them, Anguirus leaves the area but did not stop the impeding creature invasion.  Godzilla joins forces with Anguirus to find and destroy Ghidorah and this new Kaiju Gigan.

OPTIC BLAST FIRE!!!

Just a few tidbits about the film at this time now.  To save some yen, stock footage of Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster, Godzilla vs. Monster Zero and Destroy All Monsters was spliced into this film along with a recycled musical score by Akira Ifukube to balance the numerous prints.
This film is the first in which Godzilla actually caused a Kaiju to bleed.  Normally it is a tail beating there, a rock chucked here and atomic breath to power but Gigan bladed like a buzz-saw and metal hooks raking Godzilla he actually used his claws for a change.

So to suspend disbelief of the resurrection of Ghidorah because they wailed on that boy via Destroy All Monsters this was to be a future incarnation of the same creature, apparently in the far away time of 1999 he came back from the dead or some such.   Then Martin Landau and Barbara Bain must have towed him for some reach of space their on Moonbase Alpha.

Not a bad addition to the Godzilla Showa Series but I was also not thoroughly impressed with the subplots running rampant all over and not fully tied in.

I.... LIVE...AGAIN!!!!!

Godzilla Vs Week: King Kong Vs Godzilla

Howdy all and welcome to Day 2 of Godzilla Vs Week.  As you may have already surmised or were previously hip to, Godzilla has had more than his fair share of smackdown drag out fights with his fellow Kaiju.  Some speculate he doesn't like to share the spotlight, while others say he is the Omega Kaiju and culls the herd when it gets overcrowded.  However it is viewed, Godzilla has come up against a many of tough hombres and today's film is no exception.  Facing off with the first Kaiju ever it is none other than King Kong himself.  This is King Kong Vs Godzilla.

Oooh refreshingly minty!!!

Mr. Tako: You two are going to Farro Island and find me a genuine spoiler whether he exists or not!






Pacific Pharmaceuticals needs their sponsoring and ratings to go through the roof and when a loose lipped doctor approaches the head of the company Tako (Ichiro Arishima of Judo Champion, Two Hearts in the Rain, Bravo, Young Guy, Three Old Ladies and Love Is a Hunter) exclaiming this island has a giant Kaiju roaming about, Tako mounts an expedition and sends his corporate red shirts to do his bidding.  They must trap and transport the Kaiju for the sake of the company's marketing campaign and their TV program.  Boy I wonder if there were more mundane offers on the table, like get Cary Grant to plug the drug or possibly Liz Taylor to do a guest spot.

Denzel ain't got crap on me!!!

Tako's two toadies , Sakurai and Kinsaburo must head to Farro Island and shockingly enough there is some chop in the waters.   At that same time, an American submarine has current drafts and ends up smack right into an iceberg.  No DiCapiros were injured in the crash.  As luck or a convenient plot device would have it this is the exact iceberg the Japanese Self Defense Force trapped Godzilla in back in 1955 thus freeing the creature and he squashes the sub like a tube of Crest.   a helicopter rescue is underway when they spy Godzilla swimming away in the waters at speeds of...  well as fast as you could paddle in a shallow pool but at any rate he is trying to book in that heavy rubber.   No sooner is he out of the water and on a Arctic military base trashing it in true blue Godzilla fashion, roasting tanks like marshmallows and swatting planes like bugs,  Godzilla is all over the wire press and this makes Tako furious that he got bumped to page 6.

Meanwhile on the Farro Island of which Steve Buscemi was not starring in, a massive octopus is scaring the villagers when King Kong pops up and slaps Squiddley Diddly around, he has some red berry juice and just conks out.

King Kong: Kaiju Proctologist.

Our bumbling lackeys manage to wedge a raft under Kong and ratchet him out to the awaiting ship.  Yeah that must have been a trial in of itself.  News gets wind of Kong's capture but the JSDF are having none of it and demand he be taken back to the island.  In all of the commotion, Kong wakes up and frees himself from the raft.    Reaching the mainland he spies with his simian eyes a great big lizard and proceeds to throw cowboy with the reptile.  So yes our two headliners duke it out causing destruction in their wake and are not kind to one another.

Just a few comments about the movie at this time.

This of course is the third installment of the Showa series (period of Japanese timeline under the Showa Emperor Hirohito) and Ishiro Honda is in the director's chair nursing his creation and bringing all the special effects that his budget allows.   This film is the first time both King Kong and Godzilla appear together in both in color but the first of the Kaiju movies to be in widescreen and to this day is still one of the most successful Godzilla movies of all time.

Merian Cooper (creator of King Kong director of Grass: A Nation's Battle for Life, The Four Feathers, King Kong,  producer of She, Dancing Pirate, 3 Godfathers, Rio Grande and the Searchers) would have been smitten on the treatment of his monster and the love Japan gave him.  This wasn't Gamera vs that rubber creature he slays every frickin' time.   This film was two equals of mayhem wailing on each other in true Ali and Foreman fashion.

Tink is back and this time she has back up!

Godzilla Vs Week: Godzilla Vs Mothra

Hello and greetings to Day 1 of Godzilla Vs Week.  I apologize to the stateside readers in that I was a bit busy today just working out and living life.  Today's film starts us off with the third Kaiju in the series to be independent as much as King Kong and Godzilla and that rests on the wings of the one and only Mothra.  Yes, the plucky flying Kaiju befriended by forced perspective identical twins of fairy stature who live on a tropical island and worship the giant moth and it is only they who through the power of prayer or an irritating song can summon the mighty beast to call of battle.

"But Jake, what in the Sam Scratch has that got to do with Godzilla?!!"   Well, angry shouty person, I will tell you.  This time around in the fourth Godzilla film it is a smackdown between Mothra and Godzilla.  Apparently the King of the Monsters crown got a bit snug and it is up to Mothra to set Godzilla straight about a thing or two.  This is Godzilla Vs Mothra a.k.a. Godzilla vs The Thing, Mothra Vs Godzilla.

Think I need a breath mint?

Jiro Nakamura: "I'm not as afraid of Godzilla as I am of the spoiler...  he's meaner."







Reporter Ichiro Sakai (Akira Takarada of A Rainbow Plays in My Heart, On Wings of Love, A Holiday in Tokyo, The Flower and Half Human) and photographer Junko Nakanishi (Yuriko Hoshi of Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster, Kill!, Let's Go, Young Guy!, Judo Champion and Godzilla vs, Megaguirus) are taking snaps of the wanton destruction created by a massive typhoon when the uncover a giant reptile scale in the wreckage.  Further that same day an enormous egg was found on the shore.  the local fishermen and villagers claim salvage to it and soon scientists of various field come to study it.  
Professor Miura (Hiroshi Koizumi of Star of Hong Kong, Matango, Kon'nichiwa akachan, Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster, Little Adventurer and Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla) brings valid questions of the origin of the egg, whether the villagers have any stories or legends of a being of great size and might that could be reasoned where the egg hails from but a slick entrepreneur Kumayama, head of the Happy Enterprises appeals to the villagers' wallet, buys the egg outright for peanuts and invests a billion dollars in the potential tourism the egg will generate.  I always have given the Japanese more credit than something this foolish.  This ranks right up there with a fissure cracks up to Tartarus and you want to run a hotel and do photo ops with the random dead spewing out into the land of the living.

Last time I go drinking all night with Kong. Whew!

Our adorable twin girls of inch height plead with the slickster telling the great danger in keeping the egg as it belongs to Mothra and should be returned back toot sweet but Kumayama will hear nothing of this but offers to buy the twins as an addition to the tourism.  Yes he offers to buy sentient people for his ill-gotten gains.  Charming fellow.  I'll prep the waterboard and the bamboo for his fingers.  Moving along,  Godzilla rears his head at the arrival of a potential rival to his throne or domain.  He is very territorial and comes crashing into Nagayoya to find the egg and possibly squish it.  Mothra dives in to duke it out with Godzilla and then the buildings, streets and cars take a beating like no body's business.

Just a few comments about the film now.  This being the fourth of the Godzilla series this particular series is known as the Showa series reflecting the time in history of the reign of the Showa Emperor Hirohito being one of the longest of any previous Japanese emperor so Godzilla had a similar reign as King of the Monsters.
This time also brought about a myriad of creatures for the series with creatures like Mothra, Rodan, Ghidorah and the infamous Mechagodzilla.   This original inception of Godzilla and his universe hails from 1954 up to 1975 and had no more runs until the revamp in 1984.

Green Hornet??

Godzilla Vs Week

In honor of yesterday's highly enjoyable feature of the 2014's Godzilla (of which I thoroughly enjoyed)  I thought it only fitting and fair that we recapture some of the King of Monsters past glories.  The epic struggles, the fight for supremacy and the struggle that propelled our hero to the top of the heap.  In short, there is a lot of scale models destroyed, explosions and men in rubber suits drowning in their own sweat to the likes you have never seen nor wanted to.

Who says I look fat??!!!

As the Godzilla franchise ushered on, Toho Studios which has hailed Kurosawa samurai films, touchy feel good sports movies and yes rubber monster movies has kept the time honored creatures of the Godzilla Kaiju (strange creature for you Yankee imperialists) creatures and universe going since its beginning in 1954.


The popularity of these stories has made the Atomic Monsters a following rivaling Star Trek and Gunsmoke that these films are on going and it is only a matter of time before newer ones reach the mass media market.  Prior to the internet and DVD creation, most of these films remained overseas in Japan and were not distributed to the States or the UK.  Whether it was for reasons of needed English vocal dubbed or subtitles we do not know but we have almost a 20 year gap of Godzilla and company monster movies that have escaped our attention.

That in mind I will not be reviewing these latter movies until later down the road and this time around I will be focused on some of the heavy hitters to the title of King of the Monsters.  That being said, it's Showdown in Tokyo!

Made me look bad, Broderick, so I'm coming for ya!

1950's Sci-Fi Week!!!

Yes, yes I know I have been AWOL for the last few days.  Sleeping habits are being more horrendous than usual so allow me the opportunity to apologize to my readers up front.  I am sorry, gang.   With that in mind I will be doing a collection of films from the 1950's via Science Fiction. Some good, some bad but all fifties.  Why the fifties?  Well considering this is where Lucas, Carpenter, Speilberg and Cronenberg grew up with and influenced my generation, I feel it only fitting and proper to absorb what wild and bizarre may have touched them.

Earthlings! Prepare to be probed...vigorously.

With this in mind we will be experiencing films of Howard Hawks caliber to things like Robot Monster. It shall as always be a grab bag of cheers and jeers so buckle up kiddies, because this one we may never return from...or you know, we will just learn about some films...kinda like any other time.

Atomic Monsters Week: Godzilla Raids Again

Back again my fine collection of fanatical readers and behold Day 3 of Atomic Monsters Week.  This time around we look at the lesser sequel of the original Gojira or Godzilla for the crass American Yankee Pig Dogs.  Sadly director Ishiro Honda (Gojira, Mothra VS Godzilla and King Kong VS Godzilla) will not be helming this particular film and in his stead is newcomer to this genre director Motoyoshi Oda (Yurei otoko a.k.a. Ghost Man, Tomei ningen a.k.a. Invisible Avenger and A Will o’ the Wisp) and yet every production member of the original including composition and special effects were on board for this continuation.  So grab your best rain coat, head for the shelters and pause and point at the behemoths.  This is Godzilla Raids Again.

 

Hey, do I have anything in my teeth?

Shoichi Tsukioka: Spoiler… we beat Godzilla for you.

A scant six months after the original, Toho Company was chomping at the bit to get the next installment out to the screens and Honda was not on board when commenting how grueling the first film was and that their deadline would simply not do.  Toho didn’t hand him his walking papers and understood but had to get the product out and on the screens. 

Our story occurs shortly after the first as two pilots Tsukioka and Kobayashi (he has a Starfleet scenario named after him) land on a remote island in the Pacific looking for mass tuna fleets for a cannery company in Osaka.  What they witness is two immense beasts duking it out and flogging one another.   Tsukioka recognizes one of the creatures as Godzilla.  Moments after that realization the monsters tumble off a cliff and right into the ocean.  Our pilots immediately report their findings to Osaka and are scooped up by the military and their scientific team as the other creature is simply known as Anguirus for how he resembles an Ankylosaurus.  A scientist hypothesized that both Godzilla and Anguirus have existed from many millions of years ago and further note that the atomic tests may have stirred them from their ancient slumber as well as imbue them fantastic powers.  Thankfully these cats didn’t read from the Necronomicon or we would have an even bigger problem.   Moving right along, Dr. Yamane comments on his late colleague destroying the first Godzilla with his imploding bomb the Oxygen Destroyer but that he had passed on and destroyed his formula. 

So ya wanna rumble, eh?

From that realm of thought it would be feasible to distract blinding flares as he believes it was the atomic bombs’ flash that stirred and disturbed him in the first place.   The creature is warded off only to be drug back to shore when a substantial gasoline fire goes off.  Both Godzilla and Anguirus seem to be drawn to devastation. Our two fearless pilots with the Air Forces blessing hatch an audacious plan to sink Godzilla into the frozen depths beyond Osaka.  Apparently if you can fly a twin prop you are allowed your own ID4 moment. 

I had just a few comments on the film.  While the story wasn’t brilliant or remotely original; the quality of the film meets the same as its predecessor in that the effects were bang on, the composer is Masaru Sato of the Kurosawa films and it sounds far too good for the action or lack of action on the screen.  At best I give this a C Minus for effort and execution.  Better luck next time!

Oh jeez, Miley is at it again. That girl cannot be tamed!

Atomic Monsters Week: Godzilla, King of the Monsters!

Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls to the first day of Atomic Monsters Week.  To start us off right we must go to the King of the Atomic Monsters himself. The massive 164 foot tall and weighing in at 350 cubic tons!!!  I give you Gojira!!!!    So evacuate the beaches, close off air traffic and all bridges.  This is Godzilla, King of the Monsters!

 

So a Buddhist, a Daoist and a monk are..lemme check my Maxim again.

Dr. Serizawa: Ogata, humans are weak animals. Even if I burn my notes, the spoiler will still be in my head. Until I die, how can I be sure I won’t be forced by someone to make the device again?

Near the Odo Island, a fishing boat is attacked by a huge ball of fire.  Another ship is sent to investigate and offer aid only to be the same end with a handful of the crew surviving.  Meanwhile on the island, the village elder blames their lack of fishing crop to a sea beast known only as Gojira (Godzilla to you gajin) and tells tales of earlier times about native girls that were sacrificed to appease Godzilla and allow the village to live in peace.  Sketchy reports come following in for the Japanese Navy and news investigators make their way to the island via helicopter.  After many interviews the natives perform an ancient warding ceremony to keep the monstrous beast at by.   Not really knowing if it worked the whole village just sacks out.  Not even a single lookout for this.  The islanders are woken from sleep from a large storm crashing down against the rocks and the township as a young lad sees Godzilla bob bob bobbing along in the water.

I likes the night life! I wants to boogie!!

Terrified at the mainland the city of Tokyo is in ruin as Godzilla makes his way during the night and proceeds to stomp and burn his way through the city and heads back to the bay.  The military in a desperate attempt to hold off the gigantic beastie constructs a fence of electric towers holding a current of 50,000 volts to zap Godzilla where he to appear again.  Civilians are completely evacuated from the area and put in shelters.   Sure enough night fell and our boy is out and about, trashes the electric border and burns it down with his atomic fire breath (and super robot rocket punch OoOoo).  Total bombardment of tank fire and fighter jets annoyed Godzilla and caused him to leave.

Tokyo is in utter chaos with hospitals swamped with patients mostly from severe radiation poisoning, it was thought that the atomic weapons testing the Americans performed may have irritated this ancient dinosaur like creature making him this unnatural force of destruction.

In what seems like a futile attempt to destroy the monster; scientist Dr. Serizawa must make the conscious decision to use an imploding bomb on Godzilla causing all the immediate oxygen atoms to dissipate and make Godzilla asphyxiate to his death. 

I have just a few quick facts about the film now.  The inspiration of the movie was based on the hydrogen bomb tests at Bikini Atoll when a fishing ship the Lucky Dragon 5 got swept by a nuclear test yielding 15 megatons rather than the estimated 6.  The blast caused the military assigned, the villagers nearby and several of the Lucky Dragon 5 crew members to be sicken with radiation poisoning and causing death to more than a few.  It also issued the concerns of nuclear fallout and the contamination in the food supply of fish.   In 1956 the TransWorld Releasing Corp released an edited version of the movie for the US titled Godzilla, King of the Monsters!  This version had additional footage of Raymond Burr (Perry Mason, Bride of the Gorilla, Rear Window, Please Murder Me, Count Three and Pray, Ironside and Godzilla 1985) added and spliced into the original.  I did snicker when his character was named Steve Martin.

Scale model away!!!

Atomic Monsters Week!

Howdy gang! This week I thought we would take a look at poor men sweating profusely in rubber suits, flailing at one another over miniature cities and buildings and trashing the landscape.  Furthermore I thought we would tap into the atomic mutation monsters as well and simply call it Atomic Monsters Week.  Catchy I know but so is the flu.

Just crashing town, folks!

This phenomenon of large creatures starts in the 1950's as it is a source of terror and concern of what the atomic stockpiles and reactors may have effect on the environment and as Science Fiction seems to have a leg up in political and social commentary the Americans and the Japanese have brought us a myriad of entertaining films and some out and out B-Movie stinkers.  So grab that dull machete and let's start hacking our way through the titles.  Should be entertaining, educational and a tad goofy.  Y'know, a normal write up.

Even Number Star Trek Week: Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan

Hey there readers and welcome to Even Number Star Trek Movie Week.  The title kinda gives the idea away but for those of you doing whippets I will explain.  The concept behind this week is most Trekkies feel the odd number films were too long, dull or baffling on how it even got made.  One thing the trekkers agree on is that the even number movies were enjoyable and memorable.  So with that in mind I take you back to the far away time of 1982 continuation of an episode 24 in first season of the Original Series known as Space Seed.   So grab your road warrior apparel, juice up on those roids and dare to be superior.  This is Star Trek II: Wrath of KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!

 

Still tending to that Pon Far issue, Captain Spock?

Kirk: Khan, you spoiler. You’re going to have to do your own dirty work now! Do you hear me?! Do you?

Stardate: 15 years after the success of Space Seed, we catch up with the crew of the Enterprise after the mishaps of the Motion Picture, the loss of its commanding officer Captain Decker (Stephen Collins of All the President’s Men, 7^th Heaven and Blood Diamond) and the newly promoted Captain Spock (Leonard Nimoy of Gunsmoke, Star Trek, Mission: Impossible, Atlantis: The Lost Empire and Star Trek Into The Darkness) with an inexperienced crew and senior staff of the original series.   Admiral Kirk (William Shatner of Dr. Kildare, Incubus, Impulse, Barbary Coast and 3^rd Rock From the Sun) is doing a routine inspection of the Enterprise after its repair and refit from the V’ger incident to see the performance and that they are ready for the field. 

Hailing COOOOOOOMMMMSS open, Captain. Oh my.

Light years away a group of scientists led by Dr. Carol Marcus (Bibi Besch of The Day After, Steel Magnolias and Tremors) are developing a project called Genesis to bring life to dead planets.  As the U.S.S. Reliant is done with their progress update and recon they find a distress beacon on the outer system and go and investigate.  

Oh get up! I think one of you is sitting on Tattoo!

Captain Terrel (Paul Winfield of Damnation Alley, The Terminator, Presumed Innocent and Mar Attacks) and First Officer Chekov (Walter Koeing of Star Trek, Moontrap, Babylon 5 and War of Heaven) go to investigate only to encounter the former crew of genetically engineered humans of the Botany Bay led by Khan Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban of Battleground, Mystery Street, Fantasy Island, The Colbys and Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams) who holds Kirk responsible for the planet they were marooned on this wasteland of a planet being ruined by their neighboring one exploding.

 Khan and his crew seize the Reliant and could have left for planets unexplored and ripe for conquer but Khan wants both the Genesis project as a weapon and Kirk’s head on a pike.  He’s old school like that.

The crew of the Enterprise must deal with a madman they so long ago forgot and must put an end to his diabolical schemes for the sake of all creation.  The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one after all.

So none of you used the crews' showers?? 

BBC Week: Space: 1999

Hello all and greetings back to the BBC Week Day 4.  Well we have experienced Comedy, Mystery and even the unusual hybrid of Sci-Fi Comedy.  What say we tackle some science fiction that does NOT revolve around a little blue police box?  Shocked to find there is more than one British Science Fiction out there?  Well get your bloody heads out of the sand and be observant.  I mean really.   How about some alumni of the Mission: Impossible TV series heading up a space station and no there is no Tom Cruise in this.   So don your space suits, prime your laser pistols and prepare to do the Star Trek bridge shimmy.  This is Space: 1999.

HellOOoOoOOOo Nurse!!!!

John Koenig: It is to live as your own man than as a spoiler in someone else’s dream.

250,000 miles away from the Earth, the 311 inhabitants of Moonbase Alpha commune, work and prosper as Earth Space Research Center on the Moon until…a plot device is unleashed.  For decades humanity got the brilliant idea to store their nuclear waste on the crevices of the Moon’s far side.  Guessing Lake Armstrong is filled to the brim and Pink Floyd is most vexed.  A surge of electromagnetic waves hit the waste with such magnitude that the whole Moon experiences an explosion of a massive thermonuclear proportion for the Moon from the Earth’s gravitational orbit like a giant booster rocket.   Hurled at this enormous speed our citizens of Moonbase Alpha on stuck on a runaway rocket with no return in sight, they must colonize a new home and explore strange new civilizations and other societies that are positively dystopian. 

Chronometer...OF THE FUTURE!!!!

From the combined efforts of Gerry and Sylvia Anderson (Supercar, Fireball XL5, Stingray, Thunderbirds and Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons) comes a series without involving marionette puppets but still scale models and forced perspective.   Starring Martin Landau (North by Northwest, Mission: Impossible, Destination Moonbase-Alpha, Meteor, Trial by Terror, The Evidence and Entourage), Barbara Bain (Perry Mason, Mission: Impossible, Destination Moonbase-Alpha, Murder, She Wrote, Bel Air, American Gun and Political Disasters), Nick Tate (Division 4, Homicide, Spyforce, The Day After Tomorrow, Destination Moonbase-Alpha, Dolphin Cove, Open House and East of Everything) and Catherine Schell (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, Moon Zero Two, The Return of the Pink Panther and The March).

I have but a few words on this series.   The show was froth with guest stars that were other humans or beings of other worlds throughout the episodes to the likes of Brian Blessed (The Black Adder, The Last Days of Pompeii, Flash Gordon and Doctor Who), Isla Blair (Battle of Britain, An Englishman’s Castle, Doctor Who and The Final Cut), Bernard Cribbins (Jackanory, The Railway Children, The Wombles and Doctor Who), Sarah Douglas (Thundercloud, Superman, Superman II, Falcon Crest, Return of the Living Dead III and Strippers vs Werewolves) and Peter Cushing (The Curse of Frankenstein, Horror of Dracula, Doctor Who and The Daleks, Land of the Minotaur, Star Wars, Shock Waves and Mystery on Monster Island) the popularity of this show has amassed generations of science fiction fans and to this day is deemed while a hokey intro; a creditable Sci-Fi series and beloved by many.

Slouching is bad for command and the posture.

Vampire Week: Vampirella

Well folks I welcome you to Day 5 of the Vampire week and boy oh boy did I find one that sucked…blood, ass and exorbitant amount of feces but I am not bitter.  Hailing from the Harris Comics creator Forrest J Ackerman (Vampirella, Panthra , Forrest J. Ackerman’s Guide to Science Fiction and Worlds of Tomorrow) A planet of ancient species of strong, empowered beings gather in harmony and prosperity…until a villainous tyrant Vlad seeks to disrupt such peace and tranquility and kill…Angus Scrimm?   So gather your wet naps, keep a puke bucket on standby and be amazed at the cheesy effects.  This is Vampirella.

The death of a good comic book!

In any reality I would call you spoiler!

Squeaking by at 86 minutes is the film adaptation of comic book supernatural heroine Vampirella.  The High Council of Drakulon finds Vlad (Roger Daltrey of Tommy, The Kids Are Alright, Highlander, Rude Awakening and Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula) in content of the rules and just before he is exiled to the Phantom Zone…er I mean executed, his disciples break in the chambers, blast the council and they high tail it for an awaiting star vessel. 

Vampirella fan club, how may I direct your call?

2 minutes prior Ella/Vampirella (Talisa Soto of License to Kill, Don Juan DeMarco, Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever) speaks sweetly to High Elder Stepfather (Angus Scrimm of Phantasm, Subspecies, Phantasm II, Alias and I Sell the Dead) and well you can see how well that turned out.  Ella seeks to chase down her stepfather’s killers and make them see bloody vengeance.   So we blue screen to scale model ships that look less realistic than Super Car or Stingray and Junior Birdman the hell to Earth.   And that was all done 3000 years ago.   Yes Vlad and his gaggle of vampiric misfits have been on Earth for centuries and directly responsible for vampirism.  SPACE HERPES!!!!

For your crimes against Drakulon you must play more pinball.

Hiding in plain sight in Las Vegas in a lounge act Vlad is pursued by PURGE, the highly skilled, well trained of extras that cannot understand muzzle discipline, tactical engagement or how to subdue a suspect.  They look like they are armed with Airsoft rifles, their “Sun Gun” is clearly a mariner spot light with sound and light effects and they have mastered the martial art of Pushy Shovey.  A descendant of Van Helsing, Adam (Richard Joseph Paul of Quick Change, Oblivion, Knight Rider 2010, Oblivion 2: Backlash, Law & Order: Criminal Intent) leads this bands of fearless slayers of the undead…somehow.

This is the part where I point out the highs and lows of the film and certain details of it.  Schlockmeister director of Creature Feature T &A flicks Jim Wynorski has raped yet another comic book character franchise.  His first being with The Return of the Swamp Thing and boy that was some hurt.  The starship sequences are lifted from Wynorski’s remake of Not of This Earth but sadly none of the shots of Traci Lords changing tops.  

Every geek fanboy's wet dream!

The pace of the film is slower than Dan Quayle reading a quantum physics book, the plot is lacks punch or substance, and there is some obligatory nudity but not enough to be suiting in a Wynorski film.  See Dinosaur Island as an example, lastly the kung faux fight scenes reminded me of a dull junior high school play.    

Thus ends Vampire Week.  Have a good one folks.  Feel free to comment on the blog and the Facebook page.

Sci-Fi Week: Outland

Welcome back kiddies!  Day 4 of Sci-Fi Week begins and it holds a bit of sentimental value for me.   After leaving the James Bond Franchise in 1971, Most Connery fans were convinced he was past his acting prime and never do better than James Bond.   So suit up in your atmospheric suit, make sure to activate your magnetic clamps and get them boots a walkin’.  This is Outland.

It's only a model.

Spoilers have a flair for the dramatic…

Director/writer Peter Hyams (Capricorn One, The Star Chamber, 2010, The Presidio, Narrow Margin and Timecop) brings us a retelling of Gary Cooper’s High Noon only rather a battered mining town we have a mining colony at Io, a far moon of Jupiter.  Not exactly the best assignment for Marshall O’Neil (Sean Connery of Dr. No, Goldfinger, The Anderson Tapes, Murder on the Orient Express, The Great Train Robbery, Highlander, The Hunt for Red October and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) and his family but orders are orders and he has to lump it.  Before too long it feels like a typical mining operation and he meets with the general manager Mark Sheppard (Peter Boyle of Young Frankenstein, Taxi Driver, Turk 182!, Red Heat and Everyone Loves Raymond) who proceeds to inform the Marshall that most of the workers are good at what they do, they bust their butts and are entitled to play after hours but sometimes folks get a bit rowdy.

Yes I was in Highlander, now concentrate on the job!

Marshall O’Neil sits in with his men finding out the daily logs, his right hand man Sgt. Montone (James Sikking of General Hospital, Hill Street Blues, Doogie Howser,M.D. and The Pelican Brief) tries to point out the good about this town.  The booze isn’t that watered down and the hookers have a heart of gold.  Yeah so a man on duty not being in a pressure suit and exposed himself to a zero-pressure atmosphere only to become the contents of raspberry jam all over the walls.   Later throughout the week a worker that reports and fellow workers call as calm, collective and always well behaved smacks around a prostitute and threatens to slice her to bits.  O’Neil has the locked door disengaged and Montone sneaks through the vents with a shotgun blasting before O’Neil can question him.  Given the sheer size of this colony very little can go on without O’Neil finding out.

 Using the surveillance cameras throughout the colony he discovers the possibility of an amphetamine being smuggled onboard.  Confirmed by Dr. Lazarus (Mary Sternhagen of The Hospital, Another World, Independence Day, Spencer, Golden Years, Cheers, Sex and the City and ER), a wreck of a doctor as she calls herself is stunned rigid on the dosages that are floating in one man’s veins and cannot believe this is happening.  With a bit more investigation with cameras O’Neil links the smuggling to Sheppard and it is sanctioned by Sgt. Montone.   O’Neil follows and captures one of Sheppard’s dealers, tosses the drugs in the toilet and drops him into an isolation chamber leaving him in zero gravity to drift until he feels like being chatty.   Confronting Montone about being bought off, O’Neil tells him how he can help or get the hell out of the way.  His pride and sense of justice blinds him to the point that Sheppard’s partners has set a couple of professional hitmen to kill him but O’Neil patched into outgoing communications and is aware of everything that is coming his way.

Sheesh the caters really need therapy.

Now I understand the comparison to High Noon due to the clock counting down in the same way he is waiting his impeding assassins on arrival.    Will anyone help him or will all turn a blind eye to a man being eliminated?   Most of the film is blue screened, matte painted and scale model shots as well as the decompression explosions but I feel the effects as a whole still stand up to this day and c’mon it’s Sean Connery walloping men 20 years younger than him.   A novelization of said movie was once again like Logan’s Run done by Sci-Fi/Sci-fi Fantasy writer Alan Dean Foster. It is a dark drama with some levity and complicated relationships.  This is an old favorite so not exactly an arm twists to view it again.