SyFy Monster Movie Week: Dinocroc vs Supergator

Hey folks I am back again with fun filled bad movie week of the dreaded channel of SyFy...  Yes the stink of this film is so pungent, you may be required a hanky while viewing.  So kick back, relax on your chair or sofa.  This is Dinocroc vs Supergator.

Spoilers are everywhere in the deep...
With producer/writer/director Roger Corman (The Wasp Woman, A Bucket of Blood, Little Shop of Horrors, Not of this Earth, The Trip, Death Race 2000 and Cockfighter) in league with his protege writer/director Jim Wynorski (Dinosaur Island, Return of the Swamp Thing, Demoltion High, Vampirella and Raptor) come the story of the ages... not it is actually CGI crocodile versus alligator.   As our tale unfolds, a biochemical and genetics laboratory are secretly breeding and manipulating the DNA of these creatures and to what end?   

Shockingly enough the film is shot in Wynorski's town of choice Santa Clarita and some of Kauai Hawaii.  Seems all top secret projects of this magnitude are shot on these two locations or I have seen too many Wynorski flicks.   Naturally due to all the safeguard protocols in said lab, the creatures both escape and start turning the island into the human buffet.  Owner Drake (David Carradine of Death Race 2000, Kung Fu, Kill Bill: Vol. 1, Kill Bill: Vol. 2 and Hell Ride) does not bother to alert the proper authorities and insists on a covert hunting team to track, tranq and retrieve his wayward creatures as money is no object in these matters.

FBI agent Paul Beaumont (Corey Landis of Lost in the Woods, Changing Hands, Camel Spiders and Dracula: Reborn) our death defying investigator who looks like he is late for a frat hazing is trying to figure out what Drake has created in his labs but cannot get enough concrete evidence to justify his work to the brass to snare Drake.  Decides today is a good day for fishing and heads that route.  Fish and game agent Cassidy Swanson (Amy Rasimas Holt of Girls Gone Psycho, Desire, No Game and Exposed Negative) and Dad are called into check out the whereabouts of missing hikers on the island unaware of the untold dangers of the island, our ditzy heroine makes her way to the danger.  With a helicopter assist, a mercenary team move at least an hour ahead of the Fish and Game to lock and load and dump down on dem fools.  Yeah I did not just make up that clever bit of dialogue.  

With any Wynorski creature film you can expect large breasted girlies screaming to the level that would rival Jamie Lee Curtis and Leanna Quigley, Assault weapons and sidearms of infinite ammo and really less that savory CGI FX.  Bottom line, this is a drinking game movie.

Sy-fy Monster Movie Week: Boa vs Python

Hey all.  Let’s get back to trudging through sci-fi schlock shall we?  And what better title to start us off then an epic battle between giant mutated reptiles.   So gather in front the idiot box, pop some popcorn and throw out your favorite MST3K reference.   This is Boa Vs Python.

Spoilers have become an unprecedented size!

When getting the green light for this film; writers Sam Wells (Shark Hunter, Hyper Sonic, Rapid Exchange, Epoch: Evolution and Phantom Force) and Bobby White (Ju-on: The Grudge, Tokyo Psycho, Captive Factory Girls: The Violation, Tokyo Train Girls: Private Lessons and Tokyo Train Girls 3: The Sensuous Nurse) bounced off the couch they had been living on, mopped up their bong water and proceeded onto our episodic story.   I assume pot or mushrooms was involved in this brilliant film idea. Director David Flores mustered all his magnificence we saw in Lake Placid 2 to present this phenomenal creation worthy of the finest cocktail napkin.

My main question is what suave, ruthless and cunning individual pitched this flick to the executives to cut a check for this turkey and how come he is not a political negotiator for the Middle East?   I digress and on to the myth in the making.

Our  credits open with an orchestral number, credit titles that give it an almost Army of Darkness feel and then the story opens with a wrestling match of two masked individuals known as Boa and Python.  You know in case you forgot what you rented or DVRed.   Vast casino owner billionaire Broddick (Adam Palladino of The Drone Virus, 29 Reasons to Run, Boston Girls and Stealing Roses) has been informed his purchase of an 80 foot python has been snuck into the states and on an 18 wheeler heading his way.  Happier than a pig in poop, Broddick nibbles on his girl Eve (Angel Boris Reed of Warlock III: The End of Innocence, Suicide Blonde, King’s Highway and Peak Experience) unbeknownst to him but known to the writer of said sputum, the python wakes from his tranq induced nap and is quite pissed.   A fight ensues, less than realistic explosion destroys the convoy (RUBBER DUCK NOOOOOOO!!!) and our reptile beats feet which is a feat in of itself lacking legs.  

This film is apparently a continuous of the said title Python as FBI agent Sharpe (Kirk B.R. Woller of Swordfish, Minority Report, Poseidon and Resident Evil: Extinction) is sent in to investigate the FUBAR of the road, assesses the situation and clearly he needs…a herpetologist (expert on amphibians and reptiles) Dr. Emmett (David Hewlett of Cube, Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Splice and Rise of the Planet of the Apes) and Marine biologist Monica Bonds (Jaime Bergman of Any Given Sunday, Son of the Beach, Gone in 60 Seconds and Angel) to track the python and destroy it with what you ask?  Why a genetically enhanced boa constrictor named Betty which is tagged and fitted with a tracking device to insure safe proceedings.  Yes, there is no recipe for disaster there.  

Let’s get down to brass tacks, shall we?  The CGFX looks like it is not finished painting the creatures, the reactions to the awesome monsters in question by their human actors feels forced and the whole film itself feels over the top and over amped to cash in on the moderate popularity of its predecessor Python.  A must for bad movie night, this film can be enjoyed around company, chips and a cold one.

Zombie Hunter: the name says it all.

Well folks it has been a while since I have done a video game review so I am starting one off with a plug 'n play game based on the Walking Dead TV series. JAKK'S TV series game titles strikes gold with Zombie Hunter is a plug 'n play FPS with a shotgun controller and a zombie head and hands peering over the wireless unit.

Spoilers ain't people, man. Not any more.

 This simplistic game is ideal for any Big Buck Hunter fanatics and gives the zombie haters something to do.  The story line is basic in that you are in the woods as a standard character on the move to get ahead of the walkers.  You find that your base camp has a level of infestation and of course you can only dispatch the walkers with a shot to the head.  As you progress through the game you encounter Glenn and go on a few missions with him.  Defending him when needed.

Now let us discuss game mechanics.  You need to be about 8 to 10 feet from the screen in order to properly take out the walking dead.  The plastic sight on the gun is pointless to look down so do NOT even bother.  A target reticle will digitally appear and for the most part works pretty spot on but you need to caliberate for your shooting stance.  Downside to this game is we (My Dad and I) could not figure if you could do this one from the couch or not so I would just recommend this a standing pose.   Unlike a real rifle or shotgun there of course is no recoil so the main worry is keeping the gun steady and level.   The game does have a set speed for destroying crates that contain different ammo and health so be quick about it or you miss out.   You also have unlimited ammo for the shotgun and even the option of an automatic or in this case a semi-automatic shotgun or the standard pump action shotgun.  You will pick up weapon options such as: rifle, assault rifle, crossbow bolts and even a 40 mm grenade launcher.  There are only 3 levels, each with 3 scenes attached to it with variant degrees of difficulty.   One thing to be aware of is the lag between each new screen of zombie fighting and your character walking along.  You discharge an accidental round too early or throw off your concentration.   There are survivors you can save from the shambling dead and gain massive points for, or you can waste them and get a negative 120 points.  Dad was a bit trigger happy so oops.

The other two staples of the game are called free play game (meaning no story arc just shooting the dead and advancing) and horde game (this portion just means wave of death ranging from 2 to 6 zombies per screen)

Bottom line is this would be a fun game from anything of blowing off steam or just a party game of passing the gun around to the next person to play.  I am going to have to say I had a blast playing this.