Bob and Bing Road Week: Road to Bali

Welcome back boys and girls to Day 4 of Bob and Bing Road Week and I thought we would scoot on ahead in the saga. Seriously, there is only so many travel tramp movies I can endure and I saw Zombie Lake. We instead gaze into the professional of musical entertainment that does NOT involve scanty clothing, auto tune or even a failed series of marriages. This is Road to Bali.

The Master would not approve.

Harold Gridley: He's gonna spoil, folks. Now's the time to go out and get the popcorn.

George Cochran (Bing Crosby) and Harold Gridely (Bob Hope) are a double act song and dance number working in Melbourne, Australia and are scurrying in a hurry to leave, not from angry mobs but a heap of women longing for their hand in marriage. They end up in Darwin (Northern Australia not a dead philosopher and theorist) were they sign on to be pearl divers for a prince.

Hopping a boat (Oh God, not again) and taken to Bali, Indonesia where our boys fine acceptance by the lovely Princess Lala (Dorothy Lamour), cousin to their employer Prince Arok and go ga ga for her as per usual. To avoid any imperial entanglement, the scamps found a large chest of priceless jewels to keep the prince distracted long enough to skedaddle.

Bob's the one with the really hot air coming out.

Our titillating trio end up shipwrecked on yet another island and the natives are indeed restless.

The laws of the land decree any woman vying for the affection of two men must marry them both. Running around being offensive and politically incorrect our black face natives have issues with the men and feel it is their presence that has sent the volcano into eruption. Are the gangs' gooses cooked or will they beat the heat?

Just some quick info on the movie now. Out of the seven "Road" movies this has the only one to be be photographed in Technicolor. Bing Crosby makes references to the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Cleveland Indians, which at the time he was a partial owner both teams. Cameo appearances in this flick include: Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin, Jane Russell as herself, CarolynJones and even Humphrey Bogart (archived footage)

While this movie was released by Paramount, no one got around to getting it copy-writ and this is the only one of the seven Road movies that falls under public domain. So you amateur riffers can trash and joke through this flick if you like.

Two kilted kooks and a kitten,

Bob and Bing Road Week: Road to Morocco

Howdy all and welcome to Day 3 of Bob and Bing Road Week. I apologize for the delay of this blog. Work, the impeding holiday and a date with my amazing girlfriend may have caused the blog to go a bit late but hopefully you will all forgive me. Heading back to the third of the "Road" movies and manages to bring our boys back into action, comedy and chasing after Dorothy Lamour. This is Road of Morocco.

Two humps and a camel.

Male Camel: This is the screwiest picture I was ever in.

Our picture opens with new announcements and a freighter exploded and all hands are accounted for except two unknown stowaways. Our travelling hobos Jeff Peters (Bing Crosby of Man on Fire, Alias Jesse James, The Road to Hong Kong and Robin and the 7 Hoods) and Orville "Turkey" Jackson (Bob Hope of Paleface, The Greatest Show on Earth, Road to Bali, Casanova's Big Night and The Seven Little Foys) are shipwrecked floating at sea. The duo arguing about whose idea it was to stowaway on the ship and it was Orville's idea to have a smoke in powder room creating the big bang. Spotting land from a ways off and paddle to shore before they are shark food. Turkey points out how Jeff made his promise to Aunt Lucy to keep him safe. They squabble with each other when a camel appears and gives the boys a lift.

Yowza, what a tomato!

No sooner are they in the city they are almost bowled over by a cadre of Arabs shooting rifles lead by the sheik Mullay Kasim (Anthony Quinn of Sinbad, the Sailor, Black Gold, Tycoon, Mask of the Avenger, The World in His Arms, The Brigand, Against All Flags, The Road and Fatal Desire) Destitute and starving, the boys stuff their faces and try to sneak out on the bill only to find out Jeff is flush with money and Turkey is irked finding out he was sold to a man for money. Jeff tells him he will be able to buy him back eventually when Turkey is back and carried off.

A week goes by and Jeff is on the trail to buy Turkey back but finds he was sold to yet another person. Jeff works his way to the royal palace and spots Turkey relaxing to a gaggle of beautiful girls dancing for the lovely Princess Shalmar (Dorothy Lamour of Tropic Holiday, Spawn of the North, St. Louis Blues, Man About Town, Disputed Passage, Road to Singapore and Johnny Apollo) who promised to the sheik but has fallen for Turkey and the madness and danger ensues. Up to the necks into trouble the boys better think quick how to get out of this one.

A few fun facts on our film. The scene where the camel spits in Bob Hope's face was not planned and Bing started cackling to fierce the director David Butler kept it in the final cut to the movie.

This is also the first movie to break the fourth wall (where a character speaks directly to audience). 

The US invasion of Morocco during World War II against the pro-Nazi force of France 2 days prior to the release of this movie.

But...but... Fez are cool.

Bob and Bing Week: Road to Zanzibar

Welcome back kiddies to Day 2 of Bob and Bing Road Week and since those nuts managed seven of these movies, what say we move on to the second one? For the sake of chronology of course. Howabout a trek deep in the jungles of Africa for a safari but more of a spoof on Stanley and Livingstone? With our boys Bob and Bing gabbing and ad libbing their way through this remote region as two con men just trying to get a leg up in the world and get the brass ring. This is Road to Zanzibar.

Geez, Dollface you packed everything but the kitchen sink.

Hubert "Fearless Fraizer: (Cannibal burps) Must've been someone he ate.

Circus sideshow caller Chuck Reardon (Bing Crosby of Holiday Inn, Going My Way, Road to Utopia, White Christmas and Stagecoach) calls action and revs the crowd with the death defying feats the one and only Hubert "Fearless" Fraizer (Bob Hope of That Certain Feeling, Paris Holiday, The Jack Benny Hour, Alias Jesse James and The Facts of Life) the human cannonball that is hides in a secret compartment and uses a dummy at the last minute. The flame imbued dummy sets fire to the big tent causing a ruckus and as people flee in terror and our boys hightail in out of there.

Trying to make back the money they lost, Chuck hinges on the idea of Fearless wrestling a live octopus. Naturally Fearless is appalled at the idea as it goes horribly wrong and is nearly throttled to death, decides he wants to make his way back to the good ole US of A when they sent a bottle of bubbly by a diamond baron name of Charles Kimble (Eric Blore of Top Hat, Swing Time, Shall We Dance and The Lady Eve) who has made a vast fortune in the diamond mining that he proposes a offer of five thousand dollars for the fellas to have their own diamond mine. Which is all well and good but Kimble is known for being a crackpot and whatever he signs off is ultimately worthless. Fearless annoyed at losing all their collective money dissolves their partnership and storms out.

Um... why the gimp suit?

That evening Fearless is all smiles and pockets of money claiming he sold the diamond mine to some poor sap for seven thousand dollars. The lads are almost out of there when they are cornered by the very same "sap" Monsieur Lebec (Lionel Royce of What Price Safety!, The Son of Monte Cristo, White Pongo and Gilda) and his hulking bodyguard "insist" Chuck and Fearless accompany them to the mine to inspect his purchase.

Jumping ship and ending up on a life raft, our struggling stragglers make it to shore meeting with the lovely Julia Quimby (Una Merkel of 42^nd Street, The Bank Dick, Summer and Smoke and The Parent Trap) who begs for the boys' assistance in saving her friend Donna (Dorothy Lamour of Road to Singapore, Road to Morocco, They Got Me Covered, Riding Hight, And the Angels Sing and Duffy's Tavern) who is being sold at a slave auction. The guys leap into action and buy her for the local coin and agrees to take the gals on a safari across the country.

The boys squabble over Donna and it comes down to fisticuffs when the trouble ensues as they have gotten the attention of a local tribe of headhunters.

Will the boys be able to get out of this one or are they in hot water?

An interest note of interest now.

The second of the seven Road movies, Road to Zanzibar was nominated for Best Picture in 1941 but sadly lost to John Ford's How Green Was My Valley. Also nominated for Best Picture but failed to win was Orson Welles' Citizen Kane. Henry Fonda did not even get the recognition for his performance in The Lady Eve but that they say is show business.

Gulp!  Sure glad I use Scope.

Bob and Bing Road Week: Road to Singapore

Welcome girls and boys of all ages to Day 1 of Bob and Bing Road Week and what better way to start of the week than with the original film that started the Road saga. Bringing together two playboys who choose to hit the high seas see their fellow sailors get the riot act by the wives and girlfriends. Our pals pledge to swear the fair sex away and forget their women woes... that is until they spy with their purdy lil eyes a shapely Dorothy Lamour. This is Road to Singapore.

Top billing, babies.

Joshua Mallon IV: You must think the world is just some three ring spoiler, and all you've got to do is run around and have fun

Josh Mallon (Bing Crosby of Sing, You Sinners, Paris Honeymoon, My Favorite Blonde, Dixie and Going My Way), an adventurous fellow is plagued by his father Joshua Mallon IV into settling down with a chosen girl and carrying in the million dollar family business of steam ships.

But our boy prefers to pal around with his childhood chum Ace Lannigan (Bob Hope of Some Like It Hot, The Cat and the Canary, My Favorite Blonde, Road to Utopia and My Favorite Brunette) who loves balling it up and having a laugh. When trying to entertain the snooty guests about the ship the snarky barbs of Ace end up the boys into a real donnybrook. With the severance pay, our sailors hop a ship bound for Singapore but the boys run out of the cabbage in no time and get dropped a remote island chain called Kaigoon.

Well, at least it's not black face??  Ho boy.

Enjoying the cabaret acts with a stunning Mima (Dorothy Lamour of The Jungle Princess, Swing High, Swing Low, The Last Train from Madrid, Road to Zanzibar, Road to Morocco and They Got Me Covered) is being manhandled by her lead dancer Ceasar (Anthony Quinn of Road to Morocco, China Sky, The Guns of Navarone, Lawrence of Arabia, Zorba the Greek and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys- Hercules and the Lost Kingdom) that yet another fight breaks out and our boys exit stage left with Mima. With next to no money our threesome tries to find a way to make some lettuce without getting too zany. Cesar and Joshua Mallon IV are in hot pursuit of the fellas and things are looking a bit bleak and tensions are bit high given both of the guys have the hots for Mima.

Will our sea faring friends come out on top or will they be adrift at sea?

A few fun facts about this film now.

This is the first of the seven Bob Hope, Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour “Road” movies. Originally this film was titled Beach of Dreams was to star George Burns and Gracie Allen. When they bowed out it was re-titled Road to Mandalay for Fred MacMurray and Jack Oakie before its final title was revealed and recast.

After the failed attempts of getting either George Burns or Fred MacMurray into the picture, producer Harlan Thompson offered it to Bob and Bing with he saw these two clowning around on the Paramount lot and genuinely got along with each other. A lucky thing for Thompson.

Three hour tour, my eye.

Blog Number 575! : Bob and Bing Road Week

Well hello and welcome to the week my fine readers. It has come to my attention that the blog may lack taste and refinement. This of course is news to me but seeing the requests coming in I thought we would partake in the Road to movies Bob Hope, Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour.

Two Jews walk in a bar... hang on I think I forge the rest.

With the adventures taking place all over the world our heroes sing, doing ad-libs and inside Hollywood jokes, this trio entertained with song and dance and wild antics to appease the audience and kept people in stitches with snappy patter and great physical humor. Bob and Bing were a natural duo that perfected their formula of jibber jabbing past whatever minor scenario only to end up in a heap of mess towards the end and constantly fighting over the affection of Dorothy Lamour, a femme fatale that always had her way and got her say.

Let's head wherever the road Bob and Bing may take us.

Eye candy indeed!  Well, I never!