Post Apocalypse Week: Damnation Alley

Howdy wastelanders and welcome back to Day 3 of Post Apocalypse Week. We have been chugging along nicely from the fallouts and viral plagues so how about a nice nuclear holocaust this time around?   Very loosely based on the heroic fantasy writer Roger Zelazny (The Guns of Avalon, The Hand of Oberon, Trumps of Doom, Blood of Amber, Jack of Shadows Isle of the Dead and Damnation Alley) comes a tale of survivors after the final war, World War III via nuclear strike.  Is there anything or anyone left out there to rebuild or is the world that was a thing of the past?   So keep your shotgun handy, watch out for radroaches and fire up your Landmaster.  This is Damnation Alley.

YOOOO JOOOOOOEEE!!

Maj. Eugene Denton: Tanner this is Denton! This whole town is infested with killer spoilers.  I repeat: KILLER SPOILERS!

With TV and Action film director Jack Smight (The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, I'd Rather Be Rich, The Third Day, Rabbit, Run, Midway and Airport 1975) calling the shots, there is little to no drag time from action beats to dialogue.  We don't have that typical story arc that is slowed down by massive amounts of exposition.   1st Lieutenant Jake Tanner (Jan-Michael Vincent of The Survivors, Shadow of the Hawk, Vigilante Force, Hooper, Airwolf, Dirty Games and Buffalo '66) is on ICBM (Intercontinental Ballistic Missle) duty along with Major Sam Denton (George Peppard of Porkchop Hill, Breakfast at Tiffany's, How the West Was Won, The Bravos and The A-Team) who apparently doesn't like the 1st Lieutenant.   They make their tour around the complex meeting up with Airman Keegan (Paul Winfield of The Horror at 37,000 Feet, Conrack, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, The Terminator and The Serpent and the Rainbow) who is working on a piece he has been painting when early warning radar detects incoming missiles causing them to launch a counteroffensive barrage of their own bringing about the end of the world.

Lord have mercy. I'm the token, aren't I?

Two years later...yeah I know I was stunned that wasn't the end of the flick too.  *Ahem*  Two years later, the Earth is off its gravitational axis, plunged into high yield radiation and massive storms are spread across the planet.   Trying to find any sign of life, Denton settles on Albany as it is the only place they are getting a radio feed at all but the quest is dangerous and they have no back up.  Rather than cross the land on foot our boys have some impressive RVs called Landmasters.  a 12 wheeled juggernaut that manages rough terrain and also can navigate in water similar to a Hummer.  In order to get anywhere at all they must cross what Denton calls Damnation Alley.  the remains of Salt Lake City braving rad storms, rodents and insects of unusual size and possibly roaming bands of gun totting raiders.  Any of you Fallout fans thinking this sounds familiar?  The book it was based on and the movie came first so lump it.  

I had just a few thoughts and points about the film now.  Weighing in at 91 minutes this film gives a pretty impressive feel to the post apocalypse via military.  Their superior training, weapons handling and survival skills makes you feel they have a guanine chance of living.
Our killer cockroaches were actually the Madagascar hissing cockroaches and are about three inches long making my skin crawl enough.  However the giant scorpions are clearly super imposed with the film. Damnation Alley was 20th Century Fox's big budgeted science blockbuster back in 1976 when this dinky modest film called Star Wars was in production and you can pretty well guess which made more coin of the realm.

Roger Zelazny, the author of Damnation Alley saw the first script of the film and assumed that was the basis of the flick when in actuality they removed several key elements from the book to give the script some elbow room.  Zelazny shocked at the film was less than thrilled.

Welcome to the end of the world, baby.

Atomic Monsters Week: The Beginning of the End

Howdy folks and welcome back to the last day of Atomic Monsters Week.  Sorry for yesterday’s absence, it was a health issue and that all need be said about that.  This time around atomic radiation has struck the insect kingdom again but alas there will be nowhere near as cool effects of “Them!”, and we are stuck with postcards representing buildings and lots of super imposed creatures so grab you Thompson submachine gun, bring extra mags and remember to fire in short, controlled bursts.  This is The Beginning of the End.

 

Psst buddy, know where I can get some weed?

Gen. John T. Short: Dr. Wainright, you’re a spoiler, you know what grasshoppers can do.  I’m a soldier; I know what guns can do.

Okay folks before we get in too deep with the film I must submit the following warning: This is a Burt I. Gordon movie.  This means lots and lots of padding throughout the film.  There is more padding than a bullet bra.  So following Roger Corman’s law of no frame will be allowed to hit the cutting floor means it will drag on…and on…and some more.    That being said it is very unintentionally funny.

Photojournalist Audrey Aimes (Peggy Castle of Invasion U.S.A., Miracle in the Rain, Lawman and Back from the Dead) discovers a military roadblock to the town of Ludlum Illinois and to what purpose she doesn’t know.  Sensing a scoop in the works she speaks to the National Guard Commander, Colonel Tom Sturgeon (Thomas Browne Henry of Earth vs. the Flying Saucers, 20 Million Miles to Earth and The Brain from Planet Arous) who feeds he a line of abaloney (fish joke) and then cops to saying off the record they are investigating the town and its lack of a population overnight.

Alright men! I found Mr. Graves' contact lens.

Searching for any clue to why this town of 150 people disappeared and that the grass and farmland have been stripped bare she heads to a nearby US Department of Agriculture farm to get any insight to what creature or creatures would make such a mess and in such a short span of time.  She meets up with Dr. Ed. Wainwright (Peter Graves of Mission: Impossible, It Conquered the World, Fury, Night of the Hunter and Airplane!) a sauve, tall drink of water that has been using radiation to grow enormous fruits and vegetables as a template to ending world hunger.  Aimes persuades Wainwright and his assistant Frank (a deaf mute who didn’t ask his agent to give him a decent speaking role) to stop their fiddling with atomic veggie salad and help her figure out this mystery.  No sooner are they hot on the trail, Frank is scissored in half by a giant grasshopper mistaking Frank for a blade of grass.  Well we are lead to believe that because it is an off-screen death but still Aimes and Wainwright go for immediate help from the National Guard and a platoon head out to search for Wainwright’s bug.

Skeptical they make their way into the woods to be ambushed by dozens of grasshoppers using Rommel’s surprise outflanking maneuver…okay they leapt out in mass numbers to eat people.  You’re taking all the fun out of my writing.  The super imposing is laughable, the reactions are way over the top and Graves looks good in a shirt, tie and a Tommy gun spraying.  It is a gem of foolishness and enjoyable for its blatant lack of science.

GET OUT OF MY FRUIT CELLAR!!!

Atomic Monsters Week!

Howdy gang! This week I thought we would take a look at poor men sweating profusely in rubber suits, flailing at one another over miniature cities and buildings and trashing the landscape.  Furthermore I thought we would tap into the atomic mutation monsters as well and simply call it Atomic Monsters Week.  Catchy I know but so is the flu.

Just crashing town, folks!

This phenomenon of large creatures starts in the 1950's as it is a source of terror and concern of what the atomic stockpiles and reactors may have effect on the environment and as Science Fiction seems to have a leg up in political and social commentary the Americans and the Japanese have brought us a myriad of entertaining films and some out and out B-Movie stinkers.  So grab that dull machete and let's start hacking our way through the titles.  Should be entertaining, educational and a tad goofy.  Y'know, a normal write up.