Jim Wynorski Week: Komodo Vs Cobra

Okay my fine fiendish fans. I have received my share of disgruntlement on my dismissal of Jim Wynorski films. I claimed I view them as jiggly girl films with a Sci-fi or Horror theme attached to them and many of you got irate about it, protesting and claiming there are vampire flicks, creature features and some decent B-movie goodness to be had. I am certain I have been pretty hard on the guy and he and Fred Olen Ray have introduced me to many beloved Scream Queens so this week I will delve into the depths of Jim Wynorski films and see what is to be found by this fan base. Also so I don't get lynched. The first creature feature to look at I was confused as these two films were released a year apart and on similar topics. This is Komodo vs Cobra a.k.a. Island of the Beasts a.k.a. Komodo versus Cobra a.k.a.Kobra AVI a.k.a. KVC

Can't wait to eat humans.

Cobralalalalalalalalalala!!! Heh if you don't get it, yer too damn young. On the secluded island of Isladomas, We see a lead doctor father/daughter duo along with expendable lab assistant. As predicted, lab assistant does not listen to "mad" scientist and is devoured like a 5 year old gobbling pizza. Doctors Richardson (John Henry Richardson of Evil Spawn, Terror Night, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Out of Time, Alienator, Cybernator, Vice Academy 3, The Wasp Woman, Vice Academy 4, Victim of Desires and Treasure Hunt) and scientist hottie daughter Susan (Michelle Borth of Wonderland, The Sisterhood, Freddie, Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders, Trespassers, Tell Me You Love Me, The Forgotten, A Good Old Fashioned Orgy and Hawaii Five-0) paddle to safety from...a giant Komodo dragon. When I say giant I mean at least 10 times its normal size. Like a double decker bus with scales. So what in the good gravy is going on?

Hmm need some Little Richard as we fly.

Well let's cut to Captain Stoddard (Michael Pare of Eddie and the Cruisers, Streets of Fire, The Philadelphia Experiment, Dragonfight, The Last Hour, Intro the Sun, Sunset Heat, BloodRayne, Postal, BloodRayne: Deliverance, 1968 Tunnel Rats, Far Cry, Road to Hell and BloodRayne: The Third Reich) and his merry ferry service as he is charted for a three hour tour...tee hee. With him is a team of environmentalists (eco warriors, gah), a reporter and camera man in the hope of a scoop but the island has been purchased by the US Navy and that makes it very illegal to be roaming around it, so they drop more dough on the captain and he changes his tune. They're going to prove EeeeeeeEEEvil Military experiments are about this island for...I guess a buttload of money, award for the reporter and maybe the camera guy can afford to go to Australia. Got me folks but we are just getting started.

How you doin'?

No sooner are they on the island they can't help but notice fences seems torn down and no one is their at all when they find an abandoned home with Susan in it. I can't help but have Return of the Swamp Thing flashbacks with the house. Maybe someone can clue me in if it is the same house. She explains that her and her father's research was it grow food exponentially to help solve world hunger issues by enlarging the vegetables making larger portions. Personally I just envisioned bulbous obese people heading to Wal-Mart for more servings for giant kabobs but I am screwy like that. The military liaisons tell them they need to try the same formula on reptiles to create a viable bio weapon. I guess air drops of kaiju like creatures in Afghanistan perhaps?? Got me on the long term plans there.

Well at least it wasn't radiation creating these gargantuan monsters, then we are getting into giant ants of Them or Peter Graves' The Beginning of the End and giant grasshoppers. Nope we are into genetic manipulation (the atomic mutations of the 90s to 2000s).

A few nitpicks coming now and you knew it was going to happen. The nine millimeter Taurus hold fifteen rounds in the mag and 1 in the pipe. Heh, still love that term but Pare fires off close to 40 rounds before changing magazines (no, I do not say or write clips) so I got a bit of a snicker out but nothing compared to the chuckle I got from Major Frank (Paul Logan of L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach, Stripper Wives, House of Love, Angel, The Curse of the Komodo, The Eliminator, Way of the Vampire, Days of Our Lives and Vampire in Vegas) and his comms radio piece. Props dropped the ball there. Looks like a well-built man ready to take my Arby's order. Curly fries with that.  Still loved the doc's comment as she glances down at her Taurus 9mm, "It's gonna take more than a .38 to stop what's on this island."   Oops.  Well she's a geneticist not a ballistics major.

Comprehensive wise, we have a military experiment gone horribly awry, creatures of unusual proportion, gunfire and one liners. Not a bad flick and amazingly PG-13 so let the kiddies watch the CGI creatures snack on the humans and each other. The film is very similar to Curse of the Komodo except those characters were a tad more interesting and given the fair degree of nudity, probably wanna skip letting the kiddies see that one. Check IMDB for all the alternative titles or be prepared to handle explaining why that lady has her boobies out.

Putting my foot down.

Comic Flicks of 2016: X-Men: Apocalypse

Greetings and felicitations my readers and welcome for Day 4 of Comic Flicks of 2016. Well I hadn't seen it in theaters because the groan inside my head said the following: "Oh god, not another X-flick!" Yes after 5 prior including the Wolverine solo films I was a wee bit burned out on the mutant mania but for the sake of the week and the fact I promised comic book films I soldiered on. So far haven't heard the name Martha mentioned but still a possibility.   For those that got that, kudos. I figured worse case scenario is I won't like it and all those that bashed it are probably right for one reason or another.  The year is 1983 and mutants have been known of for more than a decade.  An ancient evil is unearthed and the world is once more in jeopardy. This is X-Men: Apocalypse.

Crap, I think we are poster # 3.

We journey to Cairo at the height of En Sabah Nur or Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac of The Two Faces of January, Ex Machina, Mojave, Show Me a Hero, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Lego Star Wars: The Force Awakens and The Promise) may very well be the first mutant in existence in the b.c. Timeline EVER. Forced to worship him and his collective of enhanced followers (Think the Goul'd from Stargate SG-1) his honor guard seal him in his own pyramid condemning him to death. Jet to 1983, Moira MacTaggart (Rose Byrne of Troy, Wicker Park, Casanova, The Dead Girl, 28 Weeks Later and X-Men: First Class) is a CIA agent on a lead of WMD during the Cold War and finds an unearthed power that causes a tremor around the world.

Seriously guys, where is study hall?

 Meanwhile in Poland, Erik or Magneto (Michael Fassbender of Band of Brothers, A Bear Named Winnie, 300, Hunger, Inglourious Basterds, Jonah Hex, X-Men: First Class, Prometheus and X-Men: Days of Future Past) is under an assumed name, married and has a little girl living a good life until...an accident in the smelting plant he works at causes a cauldron of several hundred pounds to nearly crush a co-worker when he instinctively moves it away from him.   Other co-workers think they know what happened, narc on him, the cops show up and well we have his motivation for being a bad guy again. Yup moody and with an new body count YET AGAIN!

Cool.

Charles (James McAvoy of Children of Dune, Bright Young Things, Shameless, The Last King of Scotland, Wanted, X-Men: First Class, Trance,Filth and X-Men: Days of Future Past) has all but abandoned the idea of the X-Men and has committed his school for the gifted as just that. A school for runaways, concerned teens and troubled mutants that just want a handle on their powers and live some sort of normal life. Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence of The Poker House, Winter's Bone, X-Men: First Class, The Hunger Games, House at the End of the Street, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, X-Men: Days of Future Past and Joy) makes her way back to the school to warn Xavier and the others about Magneto when they encounter En Sabah Nur and his four followers, one of them being Erik himself.

Can a handful of students be the X-Men? Will Mystique take charge or cut and run? How did they get Olivia Munn into her costume?

Okay a few nitpicks and we are done. Cyclops is now the younger of the two brothers rather than the oldest because...reasons. The story is the same as it has been from the three original films of the odds look grim for our heroes, the villain is so over the top, Ming the Merciless wants him to tone it down and the normals hate the mutants.

Nothing bad about it per say but also nothing really new other than more CGI than a Lucasarts film. Will Fox drag this franchise in the mud like they did The Fantastic Four? Who knows, Highlander. Who knows.

Hey bub, cameo time.

Comic Flicks of 2016: Suicide Squad

Howdy folks and we are back for Day 2 of the Comic Films of 2016. This next flick got mixed reviews, constant nitpicking on theme, standing and casting. For me, it followed a group of loners that do not trust easy, world in jeopardy and we all come together to overcome the odds formula of which this particular collection of tropes can fall back as far as The Dirty Dozen but hey, I still had fun with it regardless. To combat the popularity of Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy, DC Comics really had to step up their game and brother they did their level best. The rest is up to the viewers. This is Suicide Squad.

We good for the poster?

Superman, the Earth's mightiest hero has fallen saving his town. Who will be there for the next Doomsday (Dead Zod!) to occur? What champions can we call upon to save us in our darkest hour? No we are not bothering Optimus Prime dammit! Amanda Waller (Viola Davis of City of Angels, The Shrink Is In, Solaris, Jesse Stone: Stone Cold, Jesse Stone: Night Passage, World Trade Center, Doubt, Madea Goes to Jail, It's Kind of Funny Story, The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him and Get on Up) U.S. Intelligence officer, former CIA and string of alphabets and black ops has a plan. To create a team made up of the most deadly and dangerous talented normals and metahuman villains for government disposal. A team that can be officially denied if they screw up, so expendable assets (No not Stallone's team!).

My shorties are riding up D.S. so hurry up and wack these guys.

With the green light, Waller has been moving these villains all to the off-site location maximum penitentiary Belle Reve consisting of Floyd Lawton a.k.a. Deadshot (Will Smith of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Independence Day, Bad Boys, Men in Black, Enemy of the State, The Legend of Bagger Vance, I, Robot, Hitch, I Am Legend, Hancock, Focus and Concussion) a man with perfect aim, high kill count, love for his daughter Zoe and one of the best hitmen on the planet. Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie of Vigilante, Neighbours, About Time, The Wolf of Wall Street, Focus, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and The Legend of Tarzan) a former psychologist turned lunatic partner and femme fatale alongside the Joker. George "Digger" Harkness a.k.a. Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney of Stoned Bros, Spartacus: War of the Damned, Jack Reacher, A Good Day to Die Hard, Felony, Terminator Genisys and Man Down) bank robber, thief and expert marksman with a barrage of deadly boomerangs.

Beer me!

The reptile man Killer Croc (Adewale Aknnuoye Agabaje of Oz, The Mummy Returns, The Bourne Identity, Preaching to the Choir, Lost, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Best Laid Plans, Bullet to the Head, Thor: The Dark World, Trumbo and Concussion) the hellfire imbued king of the barrio Diablo (Jay Henandez of Crazy/Beautiful, Hostel, Quarantine, Takers, Gimme Shelter, Gang Related and The Night Is Young) master thief and infiltrator Slipknot (Adam Beach of Song of Hiawatha, Smoke Signals, Mystery, Alaska, Joe Dirt, Windtalkers, The Big Empty, Turok: Son of Stone, A Warrior's Heart and Cowboys and Aliens). All assigned to one Special Forces Army Ranger Colonel Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman of Storm, Vinnarskallar, In Your Veins, Johan Falk: National Target, Easy Money, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Safe House, Easy Money II: Hard to Kill, Robocop, The Killing and Run All Night) the squad is called in to deal with a catastrophic issue but uninformed that one of the team a former archeologist/possessed succubus sorceress Enchantress (fashion model/actress Cara Delevinge of The Face of an Angel, Paper Towns, Pan, Kids in Love and Suicide Squad) may be the direct cause of the current mission. Attached to this mission is samurai sword master or mistress Katana (Karen Fukuhara of Suicide Squad and Stray) aiding Flag whenever needed.

With explosions, charcoal ridden minions of a big bad incubus and mass chaos now is an appropriate time of the clown prince of crime to make waves as well. Joker (Jared Leto of My So-Called Life, Switchback, Basil, Urban Legend, The Thin Red Line, Fight Club, American Psycho, Sunset Strip, Panic Room, Lord of War, Dallas Buyers Club and Suicide Squad) and cronies are out and about to scoop Harley back for the master of chuckles' Netflix and chill time.

Will the squad survive its first mission? Will Deadshot ever see his little girl again? Will anyone explain to me the need for a pink unicorn at the behest of Captain Boomerang?

Few comments now. I covered most of this in my Rotten Ramblin' On podcast with my co-host on this flick but the following things are thus. Since the Brave and the Bold title in 1964, The Suicide Squad has had a revolving door of baddies ranging from Flash, Batman and even some Aquaman villains being used as cannon fodder for missions. This particular title has seen many a retcon but the jist has always been bad guys doing bad things for their country.

Many view this as the Margo and Will show and okay yeah, it did center around them. Guess what? The film still worked, all the actors managed their parts very well and my only complaint is there was no smackdown with Batsy and the Croc sending him to jail. Would have loved to see a sewer fight with Affleck using his brains and skill to drop Croc but oh well. We have not seen Will play a bad guy let alone bad ass to the same standing he got in Independence Day so yeah well deserved Will. You rocked the role. Again. Is this the best comic book movie? That is open to discussion. Is this the better faithful movie to the comic? I would have to agree.

Look it's either this or we rely on the Teen Titans.

With a budget of 175 million it managed to kick back over 325 million so they made a frickin' profit folks. To be objective, the formula for this film is nothing new but I enjoyed the hell out of it. Like Guardians of the Galaxy, the fans of the comic probably went in droves and had a blast watching it. I feel bad for it not making even more money because the comic is a bit obscure. Overall, I could watch it again and again. Make your own decision but a bit of mindless violence, decent one liners and bad ass action gives it a thumbs up from this guy.