Black Widow

 Hello all. Welcome back to the blog. Well this review has become a mixed bag, with the impeding lawsuit for the House of the Mouse, plenty of fellow reviews have been rude and awful or felt like fluff pieces. So I will delve into today's movie with objective eyes. Catching up with her after the Civil War among the supers, Romanoff is done. Done with the games, the fights and the secrets. This is Black Widow. 

 

Yer gun is digging in my hip...

 

 

 

 

 

Natasha (Scarlett Johansson of Ghost World, Lost in Translation, In Good Company, The Nanny Diaries, Robot Chicken, Iron Man 2, The Avengers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Infinity War and Captain Marvel) is tired, hurt and running out of friends. Thor's in Space, Hulk disappeared and several of Captain America's allies are jailed in a super-max prison. Secretary of State, former General Thunderbolt Ross (Altered States, Broadcast News, Until the End of the World, The Plague, Michael, Dark City, Dune, A.I. Artificial Intelligence, Changing Lanes, Mr. Brooks, The Incredible Hulk, The Host, Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Infinity War) is hunting down all those that may break or bend the Sokovia Accords. With no port of harbor, family or friends to rely on, Nat goes back to her old school skill-set and goes off grid (no permanent address, phone number or billing address under her actual name). People somehow forget that Nat was former Spetnaz(Soviet Special Forces) and a former widow of the Red Room. Honey pot traps, espionage and assassination along with her math, science, Russian and English lessons, ballet and gymnastics. My schools never taught me how to garotte someone. Typical.

 

Putting fun back into dysfunctional family!

 

 

 

 

 

A flashback establishes Natasha having a family in Ohio. Her "father" Alexi (David Harbour of Parkland, Rake, The Equalizer, The Newsroom, State of Affairs, Suicide Squad, Human Affairs, Hellboy, Stranger Things and Black Widow), her "mother" Melina (Rachel Weisz of Inspector Morse, Death Machine, The Mummy, Sunshine, The Mummy Returns, About a Boy, The Shape of Things, Runaway Jury, The Fountain, Eragon, Agora, The Deep Blue Sea, Youth, Complete Unknown, and The Light Between Oceans) are undercover agents operating long-term on U.S. Soil. Natasha and her "sister" Yelena operate as concealing the agents and then after escaping to Cuba, the girls are placed in the Red Room. Man, 1995 could get kooky.

 

Attack of Project: Runway!

 

 

 

 

 

Nat's low-key trailer has been outfitted for her needs. Getting weapons for anyone a seasoned spy isn't really difficult. She goes into town to be attacked by an armored clad person that moved like Cap or Hawkeye and even Spider-Man. After a substantial beating, she escapes with a container that was brought to her by her friend/fixer Mason (O-T Fagbenle of As If, Marple, Grownups, Breaking and Entering, Little Miss Jocelyn, Radio Cape Cod, Doctor Who, FM, The Reeds, Material Girl, Double Wedding, Thorne: Scaredycat and Quick Cuts)which was at a safehouse in Budapest and heads out there.

 

Sir, wouldn't it be safer to go after the Hulk?

 

 

 

 

 

With a quick encounter with "sister" Yelena (Florence Pugh of The Falling, Studio City, Marcella, Lady MacBeth, The Commuter, King Lear, Outlaw King, Malevolent, The Little Drummer Girl, Fighting with My Family, Midsommar, Little Women and Black Widow) and by that I mean a severe beating on each. Yelena tells Nat that the Red Room is back in operation, their old handler Dreykov (Ray Winstone of Mr. Right, Fairly Secret Army, Robin Hood, Minder, The Bill, Thief Takers, The Very Thought of You, Woundings, Ripley's Game, The Proposition, All in the Game, Beowulf, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, The Devil's Tomb and Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll), a man that Nat thought she already killed as her way into S.H.I.E.L.D.

The girls need some back-up. So off to find dear old "pop" Alexi a.k.a. The Red Guardian, a Soviet super-soldier whose sole goal was to challenge Captain America to a death bout. I mean it's good to have goals but still, yikes. With a gulag prison break, the girls acquired dear old dad. He and Dreykov were thick as thieves but he too was betrayed by him as well. The only one with close enough ties is still Melina. As a behaviorist scientist, electronic engineer and cybernetics understanding, is essential to the Red Room's existence. Between pheromone suggestion and implants, the widows are fluid, effective and ruthless. Giving them no conscience whatsoever makes them the most effective assassins. In order to stop Dreykov, this dysfunctional family has to unite, work side-by-side and maintain their objectives. Can Natasha and crew handle this mission? Can Dreykov be stopped?

 

Outfit...bunching up...

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few comments to make on the film now. The sister dynamic between Scarlett and Florence seems so spot-on as bickering siblings but at the end of the day they truly do care for one another. A bear of a muscle bound man and a clinical scientist for a mother, these people are the closest thing to a real family that either girl every had. The stunt work between fight scenes, gun fights, car chases siege battles, this feels like The Bourne Identity. You got conspiracy, spy-craft and camaraderie. Proper use of tactics, distribution of skill-sets and compartmentalization. You have the harsh cruelty of their training, to how it had strengthen both young women into weapons of their own choosing. For this one time, they truly have their own objective and they will see it to the end.

The story is there but ultimately it feels like Yelena is taking on her sister's responsibilities, obligations and commitments. As much as this tale is for Natasha showing her past, it does seem to be a lot about of Yelena's origin story as well. With the typical dragging the retired gunfighter back into one more adventure, rejoining a crew that has ill feelings and past hurts, yes it does collectively give a past, present and hints to the future. This is technically not a prequel as it is more of an untold tale for Natasha before the Infinity War. Does it deserve a fraction of the negative reviews? Not really. I can understand how it does feel like the movie got wedged into the continuity of the last ten years but honestly it does feel like it can be a stand alone story. We have elements of family, obligation, honor and duty.

Also can we stop trying to compare the comic book version to the cinematic version. If you want for that all to work story wise, Natasha is over 70 years old, former KGB, S.H.I.E.L.D. Spetnaz and frankly more retconning at ridiculous levels. By that same level of reasoning, comic book Natasha was married to a Red Guardian and had a romantic relationship with the Winter Soldier because Bucky was responsible for her training in the Red Room. Can you imagine how many films it would take to make all that work?!

All in all, I am satisfied with the film. 

 

Pew! Pew pew pew!

 

Hulk Vs

Hey folks back some more. Well after the illuminating film, Beaster Day I decided I wanted some more superhero viewing. Avengers: Endgame is up and running but yeah gonna be hard to take screenshots of that. So why not hit an animated film with at least two Avengers and maybe a runty X-Man too? With droves of devastation, mass smack downs and more that a few furious roars, today's film is coming at you. This is Hulk Vs.

Hulk say you not Idris Elba!!

What is a two-part story line of Hulk's many forays out and about from his gargantuan leaps, Hulk makes his way into Asgard. All Father Odin, King of Asgard, the light of the Nine Realms and the life's blood of Asgard must sleep for the winter in order to replenish the realm and bring forth a bountiful harvest and give power back to the lands. Well into the Odinsleep, the realm is less protected and gets lumped onto Odinson, Thor (Matthew Wolf of Family Affairs, Shelf Life, Fable, Samurai Warriors 2, I Shouldn't Be Alive, Call of Duty 3, BladeStorm: Hundred Years War, Rambo and Big Red), his friends the Warriors Three and Lady Sif (Grey Griffin of Star Wars: Jedi Knight- Jedi Academy, Looney Tunes: Reality Check, The Powerpuff Girls, Doom 3, Johnny Bravo, Ultimate Avengers, Xiaolin Showdown, X-Men: The Official Game and Batman: Arkham City) to keep things in check.

Isn't that Hulk pimp slapping Not Idris Elba around?

 As any good Thor fan is aware of.   Dear adopted brother Loki is plotting and scheming as per usual, so enter the Hulk who will no doubt be duped or mind controlled into doing Loki's bidding.

The green goliath is voiced by Fred Tatasciore (Avengers Assemble, Batman Ninja, Guardians of the Galaxy, Lego DC Super Hero Girls: Super-Villain High, The Loud House, Lost in Oz, DC Super Hero Girls: Legends of Atlantis, Marvel Powers United VR and DuckTales) and brother the Golden Realm is in for a serious real estate overhaul when Hulk is in full-on "Smash mode".

As predicted, Loki takes over Hulk and proceeds to go sick house on Asgard when Thor and Mjornir crack open a 36 pack of whoop ass and then...PLACE YOUR BETS!!! Prince of Asgard vs the Jade Giant! Fear not for the realm but pity the masons that have to do this massive repair job. I wouldn't wish that gig on anyone. Hey, does the All Father approve of O.T.? Things like that keep me up at night, huh? So what do you get? 12 solid minutes of a brutal match between Loki controlled Hulk and Thor.

Of course, dullard that Loki is, he's fueling Hulk's rage. Y'know, like dropping wood into a forest fire and then following it up with napalm. For those not getting this analogy, that's bad. Important safety tip there. Don't do any of that. Well the local landscape, architecture and maybe a random sheep are getting squashed, smashed and crushed. Even better news, no Loki or Banner to reign Hulk in...there's no end to his rage. So yeah that's gonna go well.

Permit me to take you to "Funkytown", mortal.

The day is done and Banner has given more than any of us will ever know. Primarily because we are not selfless fictional characters. Onto a realm filled with darkness, primitives and maple syrup. I speak none other than the feared region known as...Canada!!! A virtual Savage Land and... okay all kidding aside, why does most of America have issues with Canada? I'm clueless on this one.

Now we check in with one of my favorite antiheroes voiced by the talented Steve Blum (Wolverine and the X-Men, Superhero Squad, Cowboy Bebop, Cowboy Bebop: The Movie, Star Wars Rebels, Transformers: Robots in Disguise, Transformers: Rescue Bots and Let It Die), at 5'5", 300 lbs of Adamantium and all attitude, Wolverine. Yup, need a deep growly voice for this guy and brother Blum delivers. Well bub, he's the best there is at what he does. Too bad none of that is diplomacy or a deft hand at dealing with a raging beast that can clear most forest fires with a clap of his massive hands.

When Atomic Wedgies go horribly wrong!

Naturally we need a hero vs hero fight so off we go! Yup, this forest area is completely boned.

I mean just the large thump from 300 foot Hulk drop into the Earth, thunderclaps rocketing trees willy nilly and oh yeah smacking a midget with claws through trees, boulders and skipping him like a stone in the lakes. Wolvie has been dispatched by Department H (it is unclear if he is still under Canadian Spec Ops still or not, definitely not Alpha Flight) as a town has been completely destroyed, innocents lost their lives and Hulk's scent is all over the place.

What will have here is two guys with buckets of stamina, rage issues and the need to put the hurt on the other. Seriously I don't think Logan has ever gotten along with Banner's alter ego ever.

Low and behold; an off the books Weapon X project is underway and gee, isn't that Sabertooth, the cyborg assassin Lady Deathstrike, the Soviet super-soldier Omega Red and the Merc with the Mouth Deadpool? Well these peepers rarely fail me, so yes it is.

Wolvie Revenge Force Activate!

Wel,l the professor that originally gave Logan bones and claws laced with adamantium wants Hulk and Wolverine for a new Weapon X project as soldiers. Yeah multiple PhD s and this doesn't sound stupid. Shockingly enough, Wolvie's sparring partners want him dead, gouge the prof and prepare to unleash a series of fatal ass whippings on Wolvie but he gets loose and gets to Banner. Oopsie Poopsie, Hulk very angry. Must have knocked Sabertooth about at least a mile. Deadpool bounced like a tennis ball, all the while Omega and Deathstrike are still trying to mix it up with Wolvie.

Not going to lie to you, not a huge fan of the artwork but both stories and voice cast easily make up for that. We have two substantial fights of epic proportion. And yes I loved Nolan North as Deadpool. He was killing me. Pew pew pew!! So at the end of this madness, I had two colossal, drag out battles worthy of wine and song. Thanks Marvel.

FYI, first cartoon flick we get to see Wolvie take the villains to claw town. Yup bunch of soldiers dressed like Hunks from Resident Evil get the sharp end of those blades and dammit, we need that now and again.

Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Heroes

Hey folks. Back again. So looking through the archives of pseudo successful Marvel films, I speak of the moderate high Marvel was enjoying from Fantastic Four in 2005 and its lackluster sequel in 2007. We will gloss over the 2015 film because, I never bother to watch it. For all I know, Doom is a habitual basement-dwelling nerdling that masturbates constantly and dreams of ruling the world. 

During the staple of Marvel Movie Madness prior to the last ten years, that Moonscoop Productions (Code Lyoko, Bunny Maloney, SamSam and Tara Duncan) with Marvel's blessing, to project the titanic tetrad into action. This is Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Heroes.

HULK SMASH!!

What separates them from The Avengers, Defenders, X-Men and hell we even throw in the Champions is they were explorers and adventurers prior to their power set. An experimental rocket test flight bombarded our curious quartet with cosmic rays, forever altering their DNA with untold powers. Funny you'd think NASA would be sending up military for truckloads of powered beings. Buckets of Heroes!!! Mind you, there would always be a handful of men and women using their powers for their own end, instead of saving the day. Hmm, cancel cargo caravan of cosmic cronies.

Professor Reed Richards, a brilliant cross-discipline scientist, Test pilot and war hero Ben Grim, Hothead, hot rodder Johnny Storm and constant den mother (still bad ass) Susan Storm compiled a group of heroes that operated more like a family than just teammates.

Dare we say, you are DOOOMED??!!

Keep in mind the inception of Reed Richards was in the sixties and I think they just followed the Doc Savage pulp fiction formula. Y'know men capable of multiple PHDs. Either that or the intelligence quota was just higher and men yearned more for science. Yes ladies, Sue gets more of a role than girl hostage like she did in the sixties. Yeah girls can fight too. Who knew? Never saw that in G.I. Joe, Thundercats, Silverhawks and...oh wait, YES I DID! Johnny's a smart ass and constantly pranking the Thing and yeah we love him for it, dammit.

Unlike its 1994 previous work, this rendition of Fantastic Four is fun, clever and action-packed. Naturally we have the rivalry of Doctor Doom and Richards. The anime style artwork really enhances the story, we have a real sense of the team's dynamics and yes we get a good old smack down between Yancy Street's blue-eyed Thing vs gamma and rage fueled Hulk. Private and public property damage is assured when these two throw cowboy.

Fight sequence or Tai Chi?

There's a drinking or calculator game. Hell, make it both. For all damages, what improvised throwing weapon crunched out of a car, manhole cover or mailbox and how many buildings are trashed.

When not being threatened by cosmic war mongers, tin plated dictators with delusions of godhood and villainous plots, the foursome is engaging in one of Mr. Fantastic's science experiments, procedures or newest technical jiggery pokery. Mishaps into the Negative Zone, exploration into space (Because Richards perfected a vehicle capable of leaving our solar system!!) or reverse engineering Skrull and Kree technology. Seriously, the crosswords do nothing to entertain this guy's mind.

Best part of this series? The humor. It feels natural, fluid and works well with the action. This is cartoons done right. Avengers Assemble and Young Justice must have been taking notes because this was the first cartoon next to Justice League I felt got the characters and their psyche downpat.

Understand, the 1994 power packed Saturday morning series to be alongside, The X-Men, Iron Man, Spider-Man and The Hulk were not really good stories, the dialogue was clunky and it was kind of painful to sit through. Out of that whole alumni, I liked the X-Men series and even still wasn't blown away by the stories garbling more than 40 years of writing.

This 26 episodes is found in three volumes that was released in 2010 and I am not aware of any reprints. They're out there though, folks. Get them while you can.  Even though Moonscoop is gone now.

What age bracket would I recommend this for? Uh, all ages. Whether you are a newbie to the franchise or an old school follower of the comics (John Byrne and Chris Clarmont era for me), you can easily find something to love about it. Naturally it has been off the air since 2010.

Ho boy...

The Punisher

Okay the week has gone by. I have been away as I was tending to errands on foot so yeah a bit damn exhausted. Moving on, the following write-up will be deemed spoiler country for those that have not seen Season 2 of Daredevil. So for those of you that have not experienced this, scram. Seriously, you don't want to be drenched in spoilers. For those of you that are aware of Season 2, the highlights was Wilson Fisk in prison, the Hand making its play for New York, an old flame Elektra putting her moves on Daredevil and oh yeah, the scene stealer of that season, Frank Castle, a.k.a. The Punisher got started up on his one man war. This is The Punisher.

You sayin' you didn't like The Walking Dead?

Out of the ashes of Season 2 of Daredevil, Frank Castle (Jon Bernthal of The Class, Day Zero, Eastwick, The Walking Dead, The Wolf of Wall Street, Daredevil and Robot Chicken) is presumed dead after the explosion on the docks sinking a tanker. Yeah that old chestnut. When in fact, he's...well he's working demolition.   Eating lunch, swinging a big ass hammer (sledge not Mjolnir, that's Thor) and trying to burn through his day without remembering he has no home, wife and kids to go to.

With the help of his old Marine recon buddy, Curtis (Jason R. Moore of Kings, The Unusuals, A Lonely Place for Dying, Wed Locked and The Punisher) Frank is under an alias and trying to piece his life back until...he gets tracked or stalked if you will. Turns out Castle has a fan or accurate to say, an admirer in a similar boat. Going by the name Micro, David Lieberman (Ebon Moss-Bachrach of Damages, Higher Ground, Come Out and Play, The Last Ship, Girls, The Punisher and The Big Take) is a NSA analyst that found something he shouldn't have and faked his death to spare his family. With a wife, son and daughter to protect, Micro has kept his distance from them for their very lives.

With ranking government officials trying to keep a lid of an illegal black ops funded by the selling of heroin, this all reeks of bad.   Mind you, a CIA black ops ran on heroin shipments sounds a bit Vietnam?  Yeah, I did make that connection easily.

What? I'm an equal character and not just eye candy?

Homeland Security Special Agent Dinah Madani (Amber Rose Revah of From Paris with Love, Everywhere and Nowhere, The Bible, What Remains, Son of God, Silent Witness, Emerald City and The Punisher) lost a partner in the Middle East where this ops was happening and has yet to find any new information. While this is occurring, people are getting shot and killed or quietly removed, as someone in a position of authority is covering his ass from a massive FUBAR of mission that blew up in his face.

Micro finds Castle, threatens to leak to the world he is still alive if he doesn't play ball with him and get back on his war on crime. Yeah kids, unlike our government, Frank's war is bloody and wipes out cartels, gangs, drug kingpins and a myriad of other such criminals.  Micro is showing him how to do this a bit smarter.   Less leveling a city block with a LAW rocket and more stealth and cunning that he is completely capable doing. They are trying to piece together this Middle East mess by finding clues and people connected to it before our man in the shadows gets them.

That may trump boomstick?

Now I know the hard core Punisher fans will not fully agree with me but yeah I think Jon has done an amazing job with the character. Any built guy that can look menacing can play the badass antihero but Bernthal gets to play the grieving widower, the survivor, the badass and the complex man this being is.

Yes, yes they did away with the Vietnam era storyline because honestly a six tour vet would be in his late 70s now and yes Micro isn't a CIA analyst like in the comics. Get over it or don't.

Now we get to some spoilers. Personally I absolutely love that Billy Russo isn't some mob thug pretty boy but actually a fellow soldier that bled and fought alongside Frank. It really makes a greater impact than one mob guy in on the shoot Frank's wife and kids story-line. Instead, we have two soldiers, brothers-in-arms trying to get back to normal life after their tours. Both realize they will never be the men they were and have to be the men that were molded into.

FYI parents, this is bloody, violent and yes there will be colorful metaphors. Or swearing like sailors if you prefer. It's your judgement call on sharing this with the kiddies.

Once again, this series follows its Netflix predecessors in the same MCU timeline and series but as we all knew it was going to be guns blazing, skulls cracking and blades gutting. C'mon, it's the fricking Punisher for crying out loud!

Seeing some familar faces like Deborah Ann Woll reprising Karen Page, C. Thomas Howell, Mary Elizabeth Mastranto and Rob Morgan coming back as Turk. Seriously, I almost feel bad for Turk. Daredevil has smacked him around, Cage has bounced him like a tennis ball but Castle? Yeesh, Castle will probably feed him his own balls.

After seeing the series all the way through, I honestly hope for a continuation, but does Frank have that great of luck? We'll just have to wait and see. 

Next time on Taxi Cab Confessionals...

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 4

Hey there, gang! Let's talk TV. Yeah yeah no huge fan fare for a change. So this time around I thought we would check back with those wacky kids of S.H.I.E.L.D. and see what they're up to.

Operating in the darkness as they did for two years, Coulson and crew are hard at work trying to re-credit S.H.I.E.L.D. as it is being viewed under a microscope. With new management and a few surprises that occurred our team has had some restructure. This is Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 4.

Not Nicolas Cage.

After the near devastating effects of Inhumans all over the planet, the loss of one she cared for, Daisy "Skye" Johnson ( Chloe Bennett of Nashville, The Birthday Boys, Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast and Jake and the Never Land Pirates) is on the lam, investigating weird happenings and serial killings in her old stomping grounds of L.A. Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg of The Spanish Prisoner, Magnolia, State and Main, Iron Man, Thor, The Avengers, Ultimate Spider-Man, Lego Marvel's Avengers and Thrilling Adventure Hour Live) steps down from being director of SHIELD as he is a "dead man" as far as public records are concerned and it might be a bit jarring having a man back from the dead due to an alien blood transfusion.

He and Mack (Henry Simmons of NYPD Blue, Taxi, No Good Deed, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Slingshot and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) spend most of their downtime trying to locate Daisy and disprove she is the one slaughtering criminals of various background and level.

Agent May (Ming-An Wen of Street Fighter: The Movie, Spawn: The Animated Series, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, Mulan, The Batman, SGU Stargate Universe, Eureka and April Rain) runs her own strike force, which means those boys and girls got even more vigorous training.

I'm so baked.

With new director Jeffery Mace (Jason O' Mara of Vegas, Son of Batman, Batman vs. Robin, Justice League: War, Sons of Liberty, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and The Infamous) being elected for the position of director of S.H.I.E.L.D., there are some that do not feel they can fully trust him yet. I agree. For one, he's mostly a D.C.and not a Marvel. With the Inhumans that have survived the onslaught of Lash's attacks, most are in hiding. A new threat emerges as everyone was just getting comfortable with the lulling peaces as the dangerous grimoire (spellbook of dark arts, necromancy and demonic incantations) known as the Darkhold is loose in the world of humanity once more.

As if that wasn't bad enough, rumors of a spirit of vengeance is roaming L.A.wiping gang bangers, drug dealers and anything else it deems evil. Yup a Ghost Rider (Gabriel Luna of Bernie, Matador, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Patti and Marina, Rosewood and Dark/Web) is pretty predominant in this season so expect some decent effects and zero Nick Cage camera mugging.

With everything hanging in the balance once more, how will the agents deal with magic, sorcery and depths of Hell? Well thankfully this is a Whedon production so all these particular problems can easily be solved. Call in Buffy. Or you know, watch the season.

Visual effects wise, you can tell they poured in the money for just the Ghost Rider work alone, we have practical effects, explosions, gun play and some nifty gadgets as Coulson is a gadget guru.

Hydra appears to no longer be the bad guy of the week and frankly I think we all got a wee bit tired of hearing "Hail Hydra!" as often as we did.

Bad car accident or revenge of three bean salad?

Guardians of the Galaxy

Welcome back readers. I realize that most of my writings have been either Horror or Sci-fi titles so I thought we could hunker down to a more popular franchise brought to us by Marvel Studios.

What do a hybrid, a genetically/cybernetically altered raccoon, a talking tree, the galaxy's deadliest assassin and a raged filled literal minded man have in common? Well not a whole lot.

This is Guardians of the Galaxy.

This Googles Map app sucks, Groot.

Our film opens with the beginnings of a young Peter Quill who loses his mother to cancer, is abducted by aliens and his mother's family never sees or hears of him again. Good call on the taking care of the boy after mom dies. Top notch.

More than 20 years have passed and the boy is an accomplished thief, con artist, trickster and roguishly handsome Star Lord (Chris Pratt of Parks and Recreation, Jurassic World, The Lego Movie, Lego Jurassic World, Lego Dimensions, The Magnificent Seven, Passengers and The Kid), a half human, half something else man who loves his 80s pop culture minutia that baffles the rest of the galaxy.

Contracted to steal a stone of unknown content or power from a remote,dead world. Quill decides to cut out his boss/father figure Yondu (Michael Rooker of Days of Thunder, JFK, Cliffhanger, Mallrats, The Replacement Killers, The Walking Dead and Call of the Dead) out of the deal, make enough scratch to flee from the Ravagers (Intergalactic crime syndicate) and be on his own.

Presenting my large, pulsating ball.

Decidedly pissed, Yondu puts a contract out on Quill and a talking tree and raccoon proceed to planet Xandar to capture Quill alive. Yeah a talking tree known as Groot (Vin Diesel of The Fast and the Furious, Pitch Black, Knockaround Guys, XXX, The Chronicles of Riddick, Fast & Furious and Avengers: Infinity War) and a raccoon with disconcertingly human like hands and unfeasibly large guns known as Rocket (Bradley Cooper of Failure to Launch, Alias, The Midnight Meat Train, The Hangover, The A-Team, Limitless and Avengers: Infinity War).

A group of religious zealots of the Kree empire want the stone too. Led by a fanatic lunatic known as Ronan the Accuser (Lee Pace of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, The Program and Driven) loathes his own people striking a treaty with Xandar and will see the whole planet wiped out. Xandar not the Kree home world, Hala. Yes I am that big of a Marvel Comics geek fanboy. What of it??!!

Ronan's underlings were supposed to retrieve this all mighty Maguffin for one of Marvel's nastier villains, Thanos (played by Josh Brolin but not a huge part at this time so move on) and he even aided Ronan by offering his "adopted" daughters, the deadly assassin Gamora (Zoe Saldana of Avatar, Star Trek, The Losers, Star Trek Into Darkness, Out of the Furnance and Avengers: Infinity War) and cybernetically enhanced Nebula (Karen Gillan of Doctor Who, Occulus, In a Valley of Violence, The Circle and Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle), devious and crafty killer in her own right.

Gamora volunteers to acquire the stone and ends up running into Quill, Groot and Rocket.

Less than 12 hours in for their collective charges, the four offer to help one another to escape the Kiln, a Supermax prison full of the dregs of the universe. One such inmate last his wife and daughter to Ronan's crazed killing spree, Drax the Destroyer (Dave Bautista of WWE Smackdown, WWE Raw, The Man with the Iron Fists, L.A. Slasher, Heist, Marauders and Enter the Warriors Gate)

a literal minded warrior with strength levels of the Hulk and about the moral code of Wolverine.

The five of them escape from prison, nick their gear and head out into the big black for fortune and glory. No time for love, Doctor Jones.

Ronan, the Ravagers and most of the Nova Corps of Xandar are breathing down their necks while the choice must be made. A bunch of loners unite against a common enemy or get blasted into bits across the cold vacuum of space.

Okay first off, I absolutely love this flick. Aside from real fans of the comic book franchise, these characters are positively unknown to the average movie goers. Plus it is delivered is such a fashion, that you can instinctively have emotions for or against the characters. Clever writing, action, Sci-fi and still that comic book formula that fleshes out comic books to the silver screen is so wonderfully done here.

The casting really works and honestly, MCU's Star Lord has a superior backstory than his original comic book counterpart. Tragic yet brought him to adulthood (more or less) far better than his long winded, duller story arc of the comics.

Snaring the likes of Glenn Close, Benico Del Toro and Dijmon Hounsou for bit roles still brings life into these personas. Well crafted for all ages to watch, similar how George Lucas pulled off Star Wars: A New Hope, this film lends itself to easily a follow up movie in 2017.

And yes you should watch its sequel.

Deadliest of eye candy.

Comic Flicks of 2016: X-Men: Apocalypse

Greetings and felicitations my readers and welcome for Day 4 of Comic Flicks of 2016. Well I hadn't seen it in theaters because the groan inside my head said the following: "Oh god, not another X-flick!" Yes after 5 prior including the Wolverine solo films I was a wee bit burned out on the mutant mania but for the sake of the week and the fact I promised comic book films I soldiered on. So far haven't heard the name Martha mentioned but still a possibility.   For those that got that, kudos. I figured worse case scenario is I won't like it and all those that bashed it are probably right for one reason or another.  The year is 1983 and mutants have been known of for more than a decade.  An ancient evil is unearthed and the world is once more in jeopardy. This is X-Men: Apocalypse.

Crap, I think we are poster # 3.

We journey to Cairo at the height of En Sabah Nur or Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac of The Two Faces of January, Ex Machina, Mojave, Show Me a Hero, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Lego Star Wars: The Force Awakens and The Promise) may very well be the first mutant in existence in the b.c. Timeline EVER. Forced to worship him and his collective of enhanced followers (Think the Goul'd from Stargate SG-1) his honor guard seal him in his own pyramid condemning him to death. Jet to 1983, Moira MacTaggart (Rose Byrne of Troy, Wicker Park, Casanova, The Dead Girl, 28 Weeks Later and X-Men: First Class) is a CIA agent on a lead of WMD during the Cold War and finds an unearthed power that causes a tremor around the world.

Seriously guys, where is study hall?

 Meanwhile in Poland, Erik or Magneto (Michael Fassbender of Band of Brothers, A Bear Named Winnie, 300, Hunger, Inglourious Basterds, Jonah Hex, X-Men: First Class, Prometheus and X-Men: Days of Future Past) is under an assumed name, married and has a little girl living a good life until...an accident in the smelting plant he works at causes a cauldron of several hundred pounds to nearly crush a co-worker when he instinctively moves it away from him.   Other co-workers think they know what happened, narc on him, the cops show up and well we have his motivation for being a bad guy again. Yup moody and with an new body count YET AGAIN!

Cool.

Charles (James McAvoy of Children of Dune, Bright Young Things, Shameless, The Last King of Scotland, Wanted, X-Men: First Class, Trance,Filth and X-Men: Days of Future Past) has all but abandoned the idea of the X-Men and has committed his school for the gifted as just that. A school for runaways, concerned teens and troubled mutants that just want a handle on their powers and live some sort of normal life. Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence of The Poker House, Winter's Bone, X-Men: First Class, The Hunger Games, House at the End of the Street, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, X-Men: Days of Future Past and Joy) makes her way back to the school to warn Xavier and the others about Magneto when they encounter En Sabah Nur and his four followers, one of them being Erik himself.

Can a handful of students be the X-Men? Will Mystique take charge or cut and run? How did they get Olivia Munn into her costume?

Okay a few nitpicks and we are done. Cyclops is now the younger of the two brothers rather than the oldest because...reasons. The story is the same as it has been from the three original films of the odds look grim for our heroes, the villain is so over the top, Ming the Merciless wants him to tone it down and the normals hate the mutants.

Nothing bad about it per say but also nothing really new other than more CGI than a Lucasarts film. Will Fox drag this franchise in the mud like they did The Fantastic Four? Who knows, Highlander. Who knows.

Hey bub, cameo time.

Comic Flicks of 2016: Captain America: Civil War

So back again, non-sports fans and here we are for Day 3 of Comic Films of 2016. With a substantial $250 million to cover practical effects, training, martial arts, FX explosions, CGI and the odds and ends, you figure this film better take off or that was a huge waste of funds. Coming in after the wake of Age of Ultron and the destruction of the country Sokovia, Earth's Mightiest Heroes soldier on and do their level best to be the men and women the planet need to put down any known or unknown threat to the world but does the world agree? With a brainwashed Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan of Red Doors, The Covenant, Hot Tub Time Machine, Black Swan, Captain America: The First Avenger, Gone, Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Ant-Man) still on the loose, Cap's attention is divided from the gig of saving lives and re-patching old friendships. This is Captain America: Civil War.

Seriously?  This is Poster one!?! How many more!?!

While the initial concept hails from the Marvel multiple title crossover in 2006, this Civil War having less players on the field has left audiences divided for Team Cap or Team Stark. Guess Twilight was easier to pick sides. Oh yes, I just did that. A quick flashback to Bucky's forced Hydra days that in 1991, he was to off the subjects and acquire the prize of a galvanized briefcase full of the super-soldier serum. Whether it followed Dr. Erskine's original formula or if it was reverse engineered from Rogers' blood...hell I don't know. Watch the flick for details like that.

One year after the very brief Age of Ultron, a team of Avengers in plain clothes led by Cap (Chris Evans of Not Another Teen Movie, The Perfect Score, Fantastic Four, The Losers, Scott Pilgrim vs.the World, The Avengers, The Iceman, Captain America: The First Avenger, Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Avengers: Age of Ultron) are in Lagos, Portugal tailing potential threats with a bio weapon of which of former SHIELD and Hydra agents. Assigned this is Falcon (Anthony Mackie of 8 Mile, The Manchurian Candidate, She Hate Me, Million Dollar Baby, Eagle Eye, The Hurt Locker, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Avengers: Age of Ultron), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson of North, The Horse Whisperer, Lost in Translation, The Island, Iron Man 2, The Avengers, Lucy and Avengers: Age of Ultron) and Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olson of The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley: The Case of the U.S. Space Camp Mission, Silent House, Red Lights, Liberal Arts, Kill Your Darlings, Avengers: Age of Ultron and Drunk History).

Copywrit and all that jazz

So two talented normals, a super-soldier and a mutant (Yeah Marvel, I said Mutant so SUCK IT!) seems like a real lackluster support staff for what could end up a serious fire fight. Was Vision off learning how to make proper scones? War Machine or Iron Man off on a booty call? Hey howzabout Thor for cryin' out loud!?! So the crisis is more or less averted except Witch's hex power accidentally forced an explosive blast at a nearby building killed humanitarian aid workers hailing from Wakanda (A fictional nation in East Africa, North of Tanzania. Thank you goofy memory. Now remember your girlfriend's birthday EVERY YEAR!!!). With nations of the world seeing this on CNN coverage, this seems to be the breaking point for the world as they have endured mutants, gamma radiated green guys and the Asgardians and heck why not throw in the Chitaurai as well.

The U.N. Demands heroes to be held accountable for everything that comes down the pike creating the Sokovia Accords that will reveal the identities of powered beings, their power levels and basically tag them so they are overseen and controlled to the preference of the world...and all that entitles. This is where it gets sticky. Tony is all in favor of the accords given the horrible SNAFU that was Ultron while Cap feels remaining autonomous and not relying on red tape and second guessing means their response time to crises would mean they could get in there quicker and do the job easier. The team feels divided on this issue as they are not a military team to be regulated but they should be held accountable for all outcomes regardless of good intentions.

With the continuous search for Bucky who is still on the lam, Cap and Falcon track him down to bring him to anyone that could help him just try to get his life back together are operating AGAINST these precious accords that have NOT EVEN been ratified yet. Yeah Marvel, you know how slow the UN operates at. Curdled milk beats it every time! A bombing in Vienna occurs during the signing of the Sovokia Accords and Bucky has been conveniently named the bomber. Among the fallen is the King of Wakanda T'Chaka (John Kani of The Wild Geese, An African Dream, A Dry White Season, Othello, Endgame, White Lion and Jail Caesar) causing the crown prince, T'Challa (Chadwick Boseman of Lincoln Heights, Persons Unknown, The Kill Hole, 42, Get on Up, Gods of Egypt and Message from the King) to lead his nation and put aside his thoughts of revenge as best as he can but the Black Panther does not have to wait idly by.

Dark Bucky...

With Captain America flagrantly ignoring the rules, the saber rattlers are getting annoyed and may actually send people out to deal with Cap and Falcon so he assembles a team that is in the same mindset as he is. With that, Tony does the same giving the unrealized damaging effects hero vs hero could cause. Will this be all out war? Can Cap and Iron Man ever salvage their friendship?

A few comments to make here. As an avid comic book reader, no this did not have quite the same impact as the comic version did and that is understandable. More characters and more craziness attached to it. This is the first appearance of Tom Holland donning the red and blue webs as he is now the third person to play Spider-Man in film. Still not sure what Andrew Garfield did to lose the role or why Parker is NEVER allowed to age!?! Marvel, there is a slew of stories well past his high school years that would make awesome films. Hell, how about the Secret Wars!?! And can we get Fox's grubby mitts off the X-Men and maybe toss the Fantastic Four to a competent writer and director? Okay off topic there. Sorry about that.

 Comprehensively, the story has good moments, shows a lot of heart and loss typical of the latter Marvel story arc and gives mixed feelings for everyone watching. Most don't want to pick a side because they were friends and comrades dammit but yeah sorry Stark I am still Team Cap.

How cool is the Panther?  Ice!