Back in Blaxploitation: Velvet Smooth

What's happenin' cats and kittens...welcome to Day 2 of Back in Blaxploitation and today we are gabbing about a super sleuth that all is gathering around for. No, I ain't talkin' about Shaft. Can you dig it? I mean the kitten that purrs so but carries claws when she needs it. Only one bit of sweetness to get to the bottom of this obvious kettle of fish. This is Velvet Smooth.

Ron Jeremy is Leatherface in: A Cut Above the Rest.

Our private eye with her foxy sidekicks is on the case, Velvet (Johnnie Hill of Velvet Smooth) gets a sit down with the man, King Lathrop (Owen Watson of Black Force, Velvet Smooth and Bon annivesaire Juilette) as someone is muscling him out of his territory. The possibility is so mind boggling to Lathrop that he has to hire the best P.I. In the business and Velvet fits the bill. With her help of friends Ria (Elsie Roman of Black Force, Velvet Smooth and Gang Wars) a lawyer and rough and tough Frankie (Rene Van Clief of Dolemite and Velvet Smooth) the scumbags better beware!

Frankie works undercover to ferret out the man causing Lathrop so much hell that they are convinced it may be an inside job by one of Lathrop's own men. Did I mention all these ladies are supposed to be adept in martial arts. Kung Faux from the looks of that and no I did not error on my spelling because the fight scenes look so damn hokey, I guess they were convinced the girls would get hurt and blah blah blah but more than half of these fight scenes are shot at long distance so you barely see what is really happening and the other half...well you really weren't missing the astounding choreography of a fourth grader's attention to detail. Why not make the girls bar room brawlers instead or a bit of street fight but I guess opting to fit them with bonking frying pans and attitude was skipped thankfully but not by much.

She cut a bitch!  Mostly, with those nails.

The general vibe says not to trust anyone, then why did the kingpin hire Velvet at all and what is really going on? Love the street gangs' Leatherface meets Hannibal masks as well. Clashes a bit with their funky threads but that happens from time to time. And ladies, lay off the kick and punches to the nuts already!! Girl power aside, the twig and berry fatalities were getting insane!

A few nitpicks now. Holy crap I have not seen the boom mic that many times outside of Dolemite. Get the boom mic top billing! Running Back two-time Emerson Boozer for the NY Jets (1966-1975) was kind of a point of interest but you get the overall reason why his career in acting didn't go sky rocketing. Didn't have the chops, baby. The sound effects foley artist fell asleep as half of the slaps, punches and kicks don't match up with the action followed by a drum crash seemingly to accompany every other punch to skin.

Not the worst blaxploitation thus far but certainly not the better talented to be working on this project. Still it beats Dolemite everytime.

Operation: Grabass is under way!

Anime Picks Week: Phantom Quest Corp

A bit hearty welcome to Day 1 of Anime Picks Week! A quick bit of background on today's choice. Our story revolves around our heroine Ayaka Kisaragi, a talented woman descended from an ancestral line of Japanese exorcists... but given she is sick of their ways and traditions, she decides to open a business to exploit those talents for a fee. This is Yugen Kaisha a.k.a. Phantom Quest Corp.

That ginger could poke your eye out!

Created by writer Mami Watanabe (Heavy Metal L-Gaim, The Record of the Lodoss War, X and Araiso Private High School Student Council Executive Committee) this offbeat horror/comedy is a good hybrid claiming ancient monsters in the modern world.

Ayaka's headquarters operates from her family home wedged among the various buildings in Shinjuku, Tokyo. With her traditional methods of exorcism of demon banishment, mantra, water collected from holy rivers and circles of protection, Ayaka is also adept with martial arts, a laser sword which manifests from her lipstick and her earrings that seem to possess a spiritual charge of explosive proportions. With at least 5 to 6 people in her employ along with working with the U Division 's Detective Karino's case load, you'd think she would be a renown philanthropist by now.

Mystic marvels at money!

Alas between mad shopping sprees, karaoke and what I can only estimate as GALLONS of Sake the business is often in the red. Her boy genius, Mukyo who balances the books, sets appointments, takes cases and client information and in general has to boot Ayaka out of bed due to her binge drinking late sleeps it is a wonder he has not gone completely crackers. Karino of U Division operates from the logic/science base of supernatural happenings and relies heavily on Phantom Quest Corp's traditional exorcism, magic, occult and witchcraft practices to save the day.

With occasional aid by seer Madame Suimei, staff Buddhist exorcist Rokkon and a pyrokinetic (able to project and control flame)14 year old Namai things may get hairy but there is enough diversity in the staff to combat most of what creeps in the dark. Horror content with humorous subtext makes this a fun show with incidental humor worthy of Marx Brothers but enough sexual innuendo to make it mildly lewd. Right away you get the vibe that Karino is head over heels for Ayaka in spite of her horrific drunken singing and carousing as she does. Is there chemistry between them? Will Phantom Quest Corp ever get out of the red? Will Mukyo cook the books, fund a nest egg and disappear to an island?

Now a few facts of the show. Due to some similarities to a previously existing series called Ghost Sweeper Mikami, the only thing this series got was four episodes and then that was that. While the animation, comedy and action sequences were praised by the critics there was too much backlash from the Ghost Sweeper Mikami fans. Also many felt there was not enough plot depth or character development like, how does a 12 year old boy balance all the accounts, appointments and finances for a business? Aside from that, two soundtrack albums were released along with a Japanese novella or light novel and one issue for an English manga.

With a combination of Ghostbusters, X-Files, a hint of Kolchak: The Night Stalker, this series was taken before its time.

Hey! That's not Batman!

70's TV Week: Charlie's Angels

Evening campers!  Today we round off 1970’s TV Week with a bit of quote “Feminist movement”.   Aaron Spelling’s idea of women’s liberation is a bit off but hey it’s got bouncy girls in it so who cares?  Yeah sexist pig factor will be pretty apparent with this little number so grab a soda, some snacks and just drop down in an easy chair.   This is Charlie’s Angels.

Dirty....Harriet??

Good Morning spoilers…

Feeling that 1976 had a hallmark for detective shows be it a cop on the beat, flying around in a Grand Torino or a ’75 T-Bird, something was missing.  Writers Ivan Goff (Backfire, White Heat, Captain Horatio Hornblower, Green Fire, Serenade and Shake Hands with the Devil) and Ben Roberts (Man of a Thousand Faces, White Heat, Midnight Lace, The Rogues and Three for Danger) put their heads together and under the wing of producer Aaron Spelling (Fantasy Island, Hart to Hart, Finder of Lost Loves, The Love Boat, Dynasty, Models Inc., Beverly Hills 90210, Charmed and Melrose Place) collaborated to create a detective agency of three veteran police officers that wanted excitement, danger and really wild things.   Why is that so odd?  Gasp the detectives in question are girls.   Well we know they cannot find clues, fend off bad guys and God forbid solve a crime without worry about makeup, hair and nails.    Yeesh that is probably the most sexist thing I ever wrote and I had to review Big Tits Zombie.

A blonde filing papers?? This is fiction.

Our three soon-to-be heroines were all assigned mediocre police gigs such as: meter maid, files clerk and crossing guard duty.  Not exactly the most glamorous of jobs.  One day each of these ladies receives an invitation to work for an enigmatic millionaire through his assistant Bosley (David Doyle of Chopper One,The Invisible Woman, The Fall Guy, New Love, American Style, Foofur and Rugrats ) Our girls Kelly Garrett (Jaclyn Smith of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy, Rage of Angels, The Night They Saved Christmas and Florence Nightingale), Sabrina Duncan (Kate Jackson of The Rookies, Thin Ice, Scarecrow and Mrs. King, Loverboy, Baby Boom and Homewrecker) and Jill Munroe (Farrah Fawcett of Logan’s Run, Harry O, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Cannonball Run and The Burning Bed) each fed up with their demeaning station in police work join forces with Charlie (John Forsythe of Studio One in Hollywood, The Trouble with Harry, Everything But the Truth, Kitten with a Whip, To Rome with Love and Dynasty) who seems to only contact them via speaker phone. 

Each week the girls are placed in high risk situations their collective skills gets them out of and yet their undercover work is the hallmark of pigdom.  Oh Angels, I need you to go undercover as Catholic schoolgirls.  Angels I need you to sneak into a massage parlor.   Yeah so if you were expecting a highly developed plot cycle that actually shows their unique personalities meshing as a team…well…yeah I suppose it is there but first let’s put the girls in terry cloth shorty shorts.  

Lots of hair tussling. 

Farrah left the show after 29 episodes to be replaced by her plucky kid sister Kris (Cheryl Ladd of When She Was Bad…, The Hasty Heart, Grace Kelly, Now and Forever and Purple Hearts) Kate Jackson left shortly after and was replaced with Tiffany Welles (Shelly Hack of Annie Hall, The King of Comedy, The Stepfather and Not in My Family) only to be replaced later by Julie Rogers (Tanya Roberts of Vega$, Sheena, Queen of the Jungle, Beastmaster, A View to a Kill and Hotline) and while the Angels round robin did occur I was more of a fan of the original line-up but hey that is just me.  Choose your angel and make the most of it.    Boy that just sounded like some bizarre dating game scheme.  Man it takes ages to get that tune out of your head too.