Exploitation Week: Switchblade Sisters

What’s happening?  We start Day 1 of Exploitation Week with a man that knows how to bring that very concept to the screen B-Movie style.  I speak of director/writer Jack Hill (Blood Bath, House of Evil, Fear Chamber The Big Doll House, The Big Bird Cage, Coffy, Foxy Brown and Sorceress) a man with his ear to what the people want.  Is that necessarily a good thing or is it appeasing the lowest common denominator?  Grab your denim jackets, a pair of high heel stiletto boots and pack a blade too.   This is Switchblade Sisters.

Playing hard to get ladies??

Muff: You know, sooner or later every woman’s bound to find out- the only thing a spoiler’s got below his belt is clay feet.

Maggie (Joanne Nail of The Gumball Rally, The Streets of San Francisco, The Visitor, Full Moon High, Midnight Lace and The Choice) is a kid with a bit of an attitude that catches some flack from Dominic (Asher Brauner of Judgment at Nuremberg, The Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver, Young Joe, the Forgotten Kennedy, The Boss’ Son and Making Love), leader of the Silver Daggers and alongside these pigs are the Dagger Debs is one of the most ruthless, vicious gang of teenage girls this side of Detroit.  Due to doing in a repo man with a series of slashing all gang members including Maggie all get dropped into Juvenile detention.  Maggie meets with the warden who happens to be a large and evil lesbian that threatens her very life.  Maggie fights back and the Debs take her in as one of their own.

Such vile girls. Now they are slashing corned beef!

Lace (Robbie Lee of Big Bad Mama, Linda Lovelace for President, My Therapist, The Get Along Gang and It’s Your Birthday Party with Rainbow Brite and Friends) leader of the Debs takes a liking to Maggie and asks her to run a few letters to her boyfriend Dominic.  Being the gentle and timid soul that he is, he follows her home and violates her.  He’s a keeper, ladies.

Patch (Monica Gayle of The Harem Bunch, School of Love, The Stewardesses, Psychodrama, Dr. Dildo’s Secret and Taking It Out in Trade), second-in-command of the Dagger Debs feels Lace and Maggie’s friendship is too close and is most vexed by such.  A rival gang led by the notorious Crabs (Chase Newhart of Maggie’s Stiletto Sisters) moves in on the territory and gang desecrates a member of the Debs.  Can the Debs and the Daggers settle their differences and ready to rumble with Crabs’ gang?  Guess they are called the Snappers.

Roller Rink of Doom!!!

This film was captured 35mm Spherical and of course recorded in Mono.  In the re-release of the film in 1994 director Jack Hill stated he interviewed several gang girls trying to get realism attached to it but he could not conceive of young girls running around in hot pants terrorizing the neighborhood as a venue that would be taken seriously.  So he thought it best to make it more like a madcap fantasy…that has women in prison themes, battle of the sexes and generally unpleasantness that this writer refuses to go into graphic detail. 

Director Quentin Tarantino went on to say this was one of his favorite movies.  Yeah just keep wondering why you get looked at funny my friend.

Carpenter Week: They Live

Hey boys and girls do you know what time it is???  That’s right, more Carpenter Week and boy do I have an odd duck for the roast.  It makes Daffy almost look sane.  So grab some penny candy and gather around the sittin' room as we tell the tale.   This is They Live.

I have come to chew bubblegum and kick spoilers...and I am all out of bubblegum.

Hard working, sh*t kicking man’s man Nada (Roddy Piper of Westlemania, Hell Comes to Frogtown, Tough and Deadly, Marked Man, Terminal Rush and Green Lantern: Emerald Knights) fresh from Denver finding no work available makes his hitchhiking way to Los Angeles and frankly who is going to try rob this guy?  Our drifter finding no work here he latches on a work site doing construction with Frank (Keith David of The Thing, Platoon, Clockers, Dead Presidents, Gargoyles, The Puppet Masters and Spawn) who takes him to a impromptu campsite with several folks out of work pulling together.  The local church and campsite get rousted by the cops trashing almost everything in site along with pummeling people like it is the riots.  Nada figures there is some sort of contraband floating around that the church is smuggling.  He finds boxes and boxes of cheap sunglasses not worth more than 5 bucks tops but figures eh what the hell I’ll nick a pair.   Soon he sees subliminal messages on the TV, in magazines and advertisement telling him to obey and procreate.   Not even certain what this means he figures something is amiss when a couple of cops try to kill him on the street.  Our anti-hero escapes with the aid of Holly (Meg Foster of Ticket to Heaven, The Emerald Forest and Masters of the Universe) who drives our now gun wielding loopy back to her place for him to lay low.  She has one of those insane houses on stilts of which she shoves Nada into a falling roll down the guard rail and very likely broke a few ribs on the tumble down.  So far the quest to end the invaders has run into a few snags.

Nada’s brilliant plan is to recruit Frank to assist in fighting these people off which leads into the longest 5 minute and change beat down street fight I have seen.  Just horrendous violence of which I am sure some of the fellas will enjoy up until the knee smashing balls scene.  Yeah you will be crossing your legs boys.  Frank is clued in and the boys battered, bruised but able join up with the resistance against the invaders.  Thankfully no Porkins here so we may have some more rebels left alive.    

Frank and Nada are brought up to speed on how the invasion happened and how they plan to strike back by Gilbert (character actor Peter Jason of The Incredible Hulk, 48 Hrs, The Karate Kid, Prince of Darkness, Red Heat and In the Mouth of Madness) who clearly wants to storm the gates, destroy the signal that is wired for the brainwaves of the “HUMAN” and in general blow up the Death Star.   Yeah Gilbert is a bit quirky.  So folks enjoy this flick for the ham and cheese it is.  One liners that may make you groan, dialogue that is a trifle hokey and atypical poke at corporate and government.