Vampire Grab Bag Week: Twins of Evil

Greetings all and a hearty welcome to Day 1 of the Vampire Grab Bag Week in the hopes we get some fun titles.  This week I just go on IMDB.com and randomly snag a vampire title and hope for the best.  Here is hoping we don’t end up with another Zombie Lake scenario because that was simply disturbing.  Today I chose a Hammer title so it will be a 50/50 chance of a classic to a blatant soft core naughty.  Fingers crossed we get a winner so let’s prep those crucifix; keep a torch handy and maybe a decent short sword for beheadings.  This is Twins of Evil.

If only I knew where my TARDIS was!

The Brotherhood is dedicated in eradicating spoilers throughout the world!

Part 3 of the Karnstein Trilogy produced by the Hammer Films, these films are named such as the vampires of the Karnstein family as their title seats at Castle Karnstein in Styria Austria and the flicks always seem to have a lesbian theme similar to its predecessors The Vampire Lovers and Lust for a Vampire.   Boy I sure can pick them.

Maria and Frieda Gellhorn (Mary and Madeleine Collinson the first identical twin Playmate sisters from October 1970) are recently orphaned teenage girls forced to move from the charming Venice to Karnstein to live with their astringent uncle Gustav Weil (Peter Cushing of Horror of Dracula, The Curse of Frankenstein, The Brides of Dracula, Dr. Who and the Daleks, Frankenstein Created Woman, Star Wars and Shock Waves) a puritan and leader of the Brotherhood, a collective of bible thumpers and witch hunters.  Both girls are less than thrilled with their new living conditions and contemplating escape.  Count Karnstein (Damien Thomas of The Message, Shogun, Pirates and Wish Me Luck and House of Cards) holds the Emperor’s ear and favor and has not fallen under sway of the Brotherhood and follows a far darker path of Satanism. 

A double pleasure's waiting for you...

To gain greater power the Count slays a girl for human sacrifice to bring forth his ancestor Countess Mircalla Karenstein (Katya Wyeth of Inspector Clouseau, A Clockwork Orange, Straight on Till Morning, Got It Made, Barry McKenzie Holds His Own and I’m Not Feeling Myself Tonight) from her grave and make him a vampire as well.   Imbued with his new found power our Count sets his sights on the lovely Frieda and Maria becomes smitten by her teacher Anton (David Warbeck of Hunter of the Apocalypse, The Black Cat, The Beyond, Sudden Fury and Razor Blade Smile).   While Frieda is tempted by darkness with the Count, Maria has a sweet innocent love blossoming with Anton.  Will these two girls ever be the same again?

Yes I have a few points to be made about the film.  Yes fellas there is more eye candy than a Playboy party, a fair degree of nudity and once again ladies yes you are getting snubbed on strapping fellows with the exception of the Count and Anton.  Granted there could be hot and bothered Peter Cushing fans but I have not met the like.  Acclaimed film critic Leonard Maltin attempted to give this film two and a half stars as the Collinson twins were very lovely and engaging in spite of their voices being dubbed in.  

My, your breasts are lovely in the torchlight.

Horror of 1970 Week: Mark of the Devil

What’s goin’ on kiddies?  Back again for Day 2 of the psychofunkadelic Horror of 1970 Week and I gots to warn you all, this one is a bit over the top.   Yeah I know I have said that before but frankly it was a bit stomach turning so as always I am giving the heads up. Dig?   So let’s get caught up in some witchcraft, enjoy an outdoor cookout i.e. witch trial and not to disturb the eternal beast.  This is Mark of the Devil.

Medieval dentistry.

Albino: I accuse you of having trampled on the cross, of having ridden to the Sabbath, of throwing the Holy Cross of our Savior into spoiler so the that the skies grew dark, and the rain fell upon the earth!!

Yes boys and girls, this one again random choice fell to an infamous titled film.  In the 18^th century hailed in Austria witch hunters roam the countryside reading to accuse any strong willed woman that refuses these simple minded gits of being the Devil’s pawn.  One such witch hunter Albino (Reggie Nadler of The Man Who Knew Too Much, Felini’s Casanova, Zoltaan: Hound of Dracula and Salem’s Lot) struts and preens about the village instilling terror of the merest possibility of being viewed as a witch.  It is only rumored amongst the villagers that he tortures the accused with hot pokers, lashes and possibly removes the tongue from their heads. 

I just want your soul..er um I mean save your soul.

He is but a mere foot soldier to the Grand Inquisitor Lord Cumberland (Herbert Lom of Spartacus, Count Dracula, Murders in the Rue Morgue, Dark Places and Ten Little Indians) who is instilled by the Crown to take jurisdiction for the witch trials is also instructing his young nephew Count Christian von Meruh (Udo Kier of Johnny Mnemonic, Blade, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Barb Wire and Modern Vampires) who behaves as a courtly gentleman in every sense of the word takes a shine to a lovely lady that was falsely accused to burn at the stake.   Christian proceeds to spy on the good Lord Cumberland only to find out that the witch trials is nothing more than a land grab scheme, an accumulation of vast riches and being able to have his way with the farmers’ daughters. 

I’ve just a quick few more warnings offhand about the film. With the standing of fascism taking full swing, it is my belief the point of this film was to bash the fear mongers of the time and point out how Lord Aton was correct in absolute power corrupts absolutely.   Very similar how Arthur Miller’s The Crucible was a bit sneer at the Red Scare era of the 1950’s and that being said…dear God I really wished I skipped this film.  Our opening credits have nuns being violated, the rack being implemented as well as the removal of fingernails by the root.   Oh yes I can definitely say this will not be on my shelf for viewing pleasure and frankly I am a bit concerned the man or woman that needs this in their VHS/DVD collection.

Well Art, I think we had a good turn out for the witch weenie roast.