Rattlers 2

 Hello there Readers of the Rotten! So I received a few films courtesy of The Williamson Management Company, it was at the request of an old friend that I could give a review. Well considering I thought I was only getting a screener, I think I can get started on this.

So a sequel to a TV movie in 1976, thus putting 45 years since the previous outbreak; who could have seen a return of a creature feature? Why, the director/producer Dustin Ferguson (Camp Blood 4, Camp Blood 5, Nemesis 5: The New Model, Runaway Nightmare, Meathook Massacre II, Horndogs Beach Party, House of Pain, Aliens in LA, Axegrinder 2 and Tales for the Campfire 3) is bold enough to try. This is Rattlers 2. 

 

I just wanted a bath!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Giving you a bit of continuity; in 1976 deep in the Mohave Desert, a town was infested by a plethora of rattlesnakes due to an experimental nerve gas that the government cancelled for use. It was buried into an abandoned mine that the snakes just happened to been dwelling in and they went mad, attacking people left and right. A cover-up, a military tribunal and a lunatic major was the order of the day, along with bell bottoms, dated dialogue, a misogynistic herpetologist (study of reptiles) and a very angry feminist photographer. 

 

Killer snakes? This is what you bother me with?

 

 

 

 

 

Penned by Josh Price (After Hours Cinema, Rattlers 2 and Lone Star Horrors) and Lee Turner (Shadowmarsh and Rattlers 2) tells the tale of 45 years later, a small town in California has been having a rash of snake attacks. Our film opens with a series of establishing shots that says... yes this is Southern California, possibly the Mohave. Some wonderful drone shots on the very rattlers in question. Enter our hapless photographer on a quest to be first one attacked. Taking snaps of rattlesnakes and getting closer and closer to them. Yup can't foresee anything bad happening there.

From the title card, it really feels like a throwback to the 1970s TV creature feature era, which I love.

The Sheriff's station is going to get more than a few concerned citizens calling in, but I don't think he'll have enough deputies at hand for this potential crisis. Sheriff Wilson (D.T. Carney of Cold Blood Canyon, Forbidden Border, Transmorphers: Fall of Man, John Dies at the End, Garlic & Gunpowder, Moon of the Blood Beast and Tales for the Campfire 3) has got his work cut out for him. With a minor amount of exposition and flashback footage of the original film, Josh Price and Lee Turner manage to connect the two films without it feeling like it was forced down your throat.

It feels like a natural progression and catches folks up to speed.

 

SNAKE HICKEY!!!

 

 

 

 

 

With all the blasting around the rattlers and given their mutations from the first film, 4 decades could easily create new hybrids ready to reek havoc on the town. Commissioner Lewis isn't going to close the beaches..er wait. No, sorry that's Jaws. My bad. The tearing up and rebuild will bring revenue to the town and this talk of roves of killer snakes is poppycock. Dare we even say balderdash?

We do have more than a few familiar Ferguson faces attached to our feature. The original Scream Queen herself, Brinke Stevens, amazing character actor Mel Novak, the wonderful Dawna Lee Heising, the very comedic Shawn C. Phillips, the tattooed beauty horror actress Julie Anne Prescott and Malvolia: The Queen of Screams herself Jenn Nangle. I really enjoyed Mercedes Peterson's performance as Dr. Kaye and cannot wait to see what she does next.

You'll have to bear with me as I had only seen the original twice in my life. Once when I was all of 5, and later about 42 when Cinematic Titanic was teasing and riffing their way through it.

Naturally I feel the name of  Professor McCauley is a nod to writer/director John McCauley (Rattlers and Deadly Intruder) and the film truly feels like an homage to the original.  This was clearly a labor of love and well executed. It's almost reminiscent of Richard Franklin tackling Psycho II to Hitchcock's original, in the sense a fan made film did as well; if not better than the previous movie. Once again, Dustin knocks another one out of the ball park. 

 

Damn snakes even attacked my paperwork!

 

House of Pain

Hello my vivacious readers! I have returned! The Brazilian bombshell singer/musician/actress Daiane Azura (Big Trouble, Hate, Home Videos, Nemesis 5: The New Model, 2 Die For, Horndogs Beach Party and Conjuring Curse) pointed out some films of hers on TubiTv so I decided to take a peek, low and behold a Dustin Ferguson (Camp Blood 4, Camp Blood 5, The Amityville Legacy, Nemesis 5:The New Model, 2 Die Fore, Robowoman and Moon of the Blood Beast) flick and penned by writer Mike Reeb (Nemesis 5: The New Model, Horndogs Beach Party, Conjuring Curse and Robowoman). This is House of Pain.

Stevie Nicks' Cult of Satan.

 

Under a moon shrouded in clouds, SoCal Cinema Studios opens our film with a young black couple terrified out of their minds and a slow-paced stalker brandishing an axe, wearing what I thought was a bondage mask (I've lead a sheltered life) but I'm pretty sure it's more luchador. As Michelle (actress/dancer/stuntperson Carrie Bernans of Single Ladies, The Rich & the Ruthless, Lawd Have Mercy, Black Panther, Cage, SEAL Team, and Ballers)and Randy (actor/director/writer Phillip Trickey of House of Pain, Clown Motel Massacre and Axemas 2: Blood Slay) pleas for mercy and logic, it's a good bet this crew doesn't operate on either...at all.

The killer quartet draw and quarter these victims in order to adhere to a pact made long ago. Almost sounds like that won't be the last people butchered in their homes, right?

With our credits intro we get a bit of industrial tunes again courtesy of Velvet Acid Christ a tride and true of the Ferguson alumni for awesome soundtracks. Man, wish I had a flick for them to do a soundtrack to. Moving on we see a pleasant suburban area of Southern California and a somber musical intro. A couple drives up to this warm and inviting house with a lovely Daiane waiting to greet them. Quick question, do SoCal homes come automatically with a gorgeous girl waiting at the doorstep, because I may want to move back to Cali.

Today on American Pickers...

Worry not Ferguson fans, we can expect a few of the regulars to make their way into the picture. Our couple Miguel (Mark Popejoy of Die Sister, Die!, Gloved Murderess, Poet, Flat Waters Terror Volume 1 and Amityville Legacy and Camilla (the lovely Dawna Lee Heising of Blade Runner, Kung Fu: The Movie, Forbidden Warrior, Waiting for Dracula, Legend of the Red Reaper, Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance, Meathook Massacre II and Garden Party Massacre) and their two boys Marco (Edwin Garcia of Nemesis 5: The New Model, Stuck, A Taset of Phobia, House of Pain, Level Up, and 5G Zombies) and Javier are moving to this area and the boys are a bit annoyed leaving the city but for the sake of the folks and probably avoiding screaming matches, they're gonna give it a shot.

What's that, boys? An creepy clock on the mantle piece? Well you're not in a cabin in the woods, so I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like creepy and supernatural things occur in the suburbs. Well there was Poltergeist. Meh, probably just a fluke. Well the moving truck hasn't arrived and I guess the family may have to rough it for a few days.

At the swap meet, Camilla and Marco bump into...Sue Price(Nemesis 2: Nebula, Nemesis 3: Time Lapse, Nemesis 4: Death Angel, Nemesis 5: The New Model, House of Pain and Robowoman) and Brinke Stevens (The Slumber Party Massacre, Nightmare Sisters, Warlords, Munchie, Cheerleader Massacre, Die Sister, Die!, 666: Teen Warlock and Horndogs Beach Party)?

The mother and son duo are warned by Jose (Ken May of Welcome to Grindhaus!, Travisty, Grindsploitation 666, Tales from the Grave, Meathook Massacre 4, Robowoman and It Wants Blood!) in a vague exposition like way, that neighborhood they just moved into is dangerous. Tend to your produce, pally and leave the creepy old man warnings of blood to Crazy Ralph.

Ms. Stevens, I'm out of peaches. Please, don't beat me.

Miguel gets ambushed with a greeting by Dan (Robert Lankford of Meathook Massacre, Meathook Massacre II, Meathook Massacre 3: First Hunt, Nemesis 5: The New Model, Conjuring Curse, Meathook Massacre 4 and Meathook Massacre: The Final Chapter) who give warm invites and vague commentary on the house and the neighborhood. Ordinarily I don't lose my crap over a guy with some sick ink but dude kind of towers over you, you freak out.

Daiane comes over for dinner and I would point out this seems like the smallest gathering of family. Keep in mind, I have a lot of extended family and know many of varied Catholic households so perhaps it's everyone else is still in Phoenix. Normally you hit one of these houses and it's 25 to 50 people and you almost always hear, "A few of us had to work today."

Could the bad vibe you are feeling the work of the minions of the fallen angel? Most vile. That Lucy...fer guy. Yeah me and John Constantine live dangerously.

With the quick cut edits and camera work I am reminded of The Strangers and a hint of Robert Fuest's The Devil's Rain but with a more eerie industrial music and some nice handheld and tripod shots. 

Ferguson gives a nice lull period allowing everything to be nice and collective and then gets right into the terror factor. This neighborhood seems to almost be self-governing so no idea if local PD is even an option. Maybe the State Troopers? With a fantastic cast, solid script and patented directing, the mysterious story unfolds at its own pace and I for one can appreciate that.

Again another low budget indie that had plenty of creepy moments and clearly the cast had some fun. 

Time to beat up them weird furries up the block, baby.

Meathook Massacre: The Final Chapter

Back again guys and dolls. Well I got another request review by writer/director/editor Dustin Ferguson (Gloved Murderess, Demon Dolls, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death, Invitation to Die, Nemesis 5: The New Model and Amityville: Evil Never Dies) , a regular with the blog as his legacy series with Bubba Fleisher and his appalling family of serial nutter butters. SoCal Cinema Studios and A Troma Team Release sent me a screener that may bring us a bloody conclusion. This is Meathook Massacre: The Final Chapter.

Hey kid, you got a 20 ton bottle jack?

The fifth installment in the series and our story continues with Danielle Stokely (Danielle Brookshire of The Eyes of Isabelle, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death, Shivers Down Your Spine, Meathook Massacre, Tales for the Campfire and The Dummy 2) as she was kidnapped so long ago by Bubba (Robert Lankford of Meathook Massacre, Family Covenant, Grindsploitation 2: The Lost Reels, Meathook Massacre II, Meathook Massacre 3: First Hunt, Wrong Side of the Tracks, Nemesis 5: The New Model, House of Pain andd Meathook Massacre 4) and his lunatic lineage. With her narrow escape, she is one of the few souls to not end up Bubba's victims. 15 years ago, she went into hiding, praying she never runs into these monsters again.

With a flashback dating to the original, Dani is seen fleeing from Bubba as he flays his meathook and tromps after her. Oh if only she and her friends never went to go see Dragonsclaw live. The scene is reminiscent of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre as Leatherface chases down Sally.

Having the obvious nightmares as she should, Dani is effectively Ripley of Aliens at this point, but more on genre Sydney of Scream 2. Still scarred and scared of that night but trying to come to grips with it all. Well you're in good hands with Samantha (the lovely Vida Ghaffari of Circus of Dread, The Catch, Rice Girl, Holy Terror, Scorpion Girl, Horndogs Beach Party, Nation's Fire, RoboWoman and Moon of the Blood Beast). FYI that crafty writer snuck in a House by the Cemetery reference. No chance of that sneaking by me, good sir. I am a Fulci nut.

Any time is always better with more Vida.

Dani also has a new man in her life, Todd (Ronnie Angel of Grindsploitation 666, Runaway Nightmare, Tales from the Grave, Dirty D: Jelly and The Verdict with Judge Hatchett) who doesn't want to impale her with a meathook, so that's good. Also a plus when the love of yout life doesn't try to run you through with butcher's tools. I would have probably passed out with laughter if his name was Chuck. They decide to meet up for lunch. Hope it's not “COLD CUTS”. Yes there may be more meat puns.

A couple of hikers are out and about. Dammit people! You know this is a slasher film, why would you do that typical dumb folk routine? You know it ends badly! I beg you folk, carry a gun or a good kabar, just to improve your odds. Hell a collapsible shovel. Naturally we have to split up, so Jeffery is taking a leak and leaving his lady, Jessica (Valerie Mulligan of Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre, Auteur, Steve's Garden, Troma Presents: Mulligan's Monsters, Drive-In Grindhouse, Moon of the Blood Beast and VHS Violence) to pitch the tent. Yeah I'll pitch it. Right into the damn stream, ya punk. Little did they know a familiar face is roaming about. Hey Jeffery, spare some ribs? Warned you about bad puns,

Weird, looks like Dani lives in the Horndogs Party Beach apartment. Off to meet Todd, for a picnic and some exposition. You see Todd, your girl has had a bit of crazy in her life and it was none too fun. Not that kinky dungeon I want to explore my sexuality crazy but the I barely escaped being shish-kabob crazy. Puts a damper on the bone zone, huh brah? With the flashback cued up, Dani bears her soul and that horrible event hoping she doesn't freak her fella away. You think Nancy from A Nightmare on Elm Street had these problems?

Meanwhile back at the apartment, Samantha dishes with Dani and passes a note from a guy in Nebraska, Tom (Clint Beaver of The Dummy 2, Tamarrud, Tales for the Campfire 2, Meathook Massacre II, Wrong Side of the Tracks, Nemesis 5: The New Model, Amityville: Evil Never Dies, A Taste of Phobia and House of Pain) saying they need to meet up and it's urgent. Dani's real nightmares are rows of corn, pork bellies as a conversation topic and everyone reminding her of the great deals she can get with Omaha Steaks! The horror!!

Candid picnics are always great for tales of terror.

Dani finally sucks it up and decides to call Tom. Tom claims to also be a survivor from this lunatic family and folks, he barely got out of Meathook Massacre II. Yeah I would know that as a viewer and reviewer but nevertheless, the twosome vow to meet up at Wolf Lake in twenty. A pleasant introduction so now it's time for Tom to get all crazy pants, claiming a government cover-up and how Bubba and the demented death farm gang were never captured or convicted by the cops like Dani was told. Armed with news paper clippings, far fetched theories and channeling his inner Tommy Jarvis via Halloween 666, Tom is convinced that not only did the family escape but they move from location to location at a time. Hey gang, guess what? Dustin understands continuity. Take that and cram it, Friday the 13^th!

With this newfound knowledge Dani still doesn't know what to do. Just she and Samantha run or does she get her revenge with chainsaw and boomstick? Oh and if you do go boomstick, get that double barrelled pump shotgun because that is a series upgrade from Ash's Remington.

Will Dani put up a fight? Can see gack Bubba and his whole crazy clan?

 

A few side notes. The mask keeps improving as these films go on. I realize the elasti-band probably works better to hold the mask in place. For a visual I was hoping it would be braided leather made from one of Bubba's victims. That's me just going for a bit more gross and disturbing.

It was great to have Velvet Acid Christ back for the theme music again.  Stepping back in the role of audio editing, foley artist and composer, this Jack of All Trades: Matt Festle (Nemesis 5: The New Model, Surviving the Wild, Dead Squad: Temple of the Undead, Drive-In Grindhouse, Meathook Massacre 4 and Robowoman) is in for a ton of editing audio so it looks like he has the ears for it. Love the pig squealing sound effect.  FX makeup guru Alexys Paonessa (Electric Dreams, Black Lightning, Lucifer, Meathook Massacre: The Final Chapter and Moon of the Blood Beast) is back and making things and dead folk look eerie as Hell so kudos on that.

Dustin's foray into this depravity and morbid tales looked promising from the first film and just managed to keep the same momentum going. Not many sequels get a chance to be on par with the original, let alone stand neck in neck with it. The expansion of making it a deranged family in the second film really opened the flood gates and allowed for more story and character development. With this franchise I won't be surprised if someone else wants to take the reins and build it up even further. Maybe a series of prequels or a continuation. There is a room of possibilities. While this may very well be the last time Dustin is at the helm, I am guessing this is not the last Meathook Massacre we see.

Jeffery! I told you no gluten!

Moon of the Blood Beast

And we are back folks. I hope you all enjoyed Yoga Hosers. Maybe some of you went out and grabbed a copy. Who can say. So today I have a film review request from a familiar favorite of the blog, writer/director/editor Dustin Ferguson (Terror at Black Tree Forest, The Legacy of Boggy Creek, Escape to Black Tree Forest, Black Tree Forest III, Doll Killer, Die Sister, Die, Occult Holocaust, Gloved Murderess, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death, Shockumentary, Nemesis 5: The New Model and Robowoman) of SoCal Studios and produced by A Troma Team Release, courtesy of Lloyd Kaufman. The title I have been given to view smacks a little of 70s exploitation creature feature and by God I can do that. This is Moon of the Blood Beast.

That is not finger food. Bad demon! Bad!

You might recall my last review of Dustin's work, Grindsploitation 8: Grindhouse Drive-In, the various faux commercials and trailers, well I dare say our fellow has been busy with this flick and let's get into it, shall we? The vibe I am getting off this is Legend of Boggy Creek POV monster that has haunted the small town for generations.

We open with eerie music, muffled whispers or prayers and depictions of Baphomet, Lucifer and Satannish on cards, books and other such imagery. Yes I have read my fair share of religions and dealt with the Tarot Card New Age hippies. Hippies, man. They creep me out.

In the small coastal town of Riverside there is a legend. A legend of darkness when the moon is blood red, weird happenings occur. A pretty hitchhiker (Alana Evans of Horndogs Beach Party, Moon of the Blood Beast and Los Angeles Shark Attack) doesn't know of these legends as she makes her way across country and it's the little things you know that gives you a higher survival rate. Our hitchhiker is a budding photographer when something captures her instead.  Dammit!  I really wanted to see her hoist a shotgun, get some Bruce Campbell one liners in.  Well, maybe next time.

That's not how you tan. Bad Alana! Bad!

 Little disturbed the local Daily News got such a graphic picture for front page. Kids are reading this, dammit. Well alright no they aren't. Probably one with their smart phones. Deputy Sheriff Frank (D.T. Carney of Bigfoot's Wild Weekend, April Apocalypse, Trespass Into Terror, Generation Y and Garlic & Gunpowder) hangs a heavy head as he goes through the newspaper.

Thankfully he has sunny and lovely dispatcher Noel Johnson (Vida Ghaffari of Holy Terror, Scorpion Girl, Suspense, and Horndogs Beach Party, Nation's Fire, Robowoman and Suspense) for some advice, friendly attitude and a good cup of Joe. Well the crime scene was no boating accident! Because it was in the desert... nowhere near water... or a boat. Anyway, moving along.

After dealing with the crime scene, Frank runs into Gabe Smith who tells the Sheriff that the beast has returned. Sporting a S&W .45, Gabe (Mike Ferguson of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., American Violence, Training Day, A Crooked Somebody, Outlaw Origins, Brobot and ZombieCON) seems more of a proactive Crazy Ralph. This cat won't be wasting time speaking of death curses and how everyone is doomed. I think he's gonna let his lead do the talking. Good on you, fella.

You do not yell at Vida. Bad Sheriff! Bad!

A local jogger is doing right by his ticker. That is until his cardio gets kicked into overdrive with some drone and good hand held coming at him. Hmm, might want to claim mountain lion attacks, Sheriff. Of course that means Wildlife and Game will be tromping around there and become monster bait.

Three stoners are waking and baking already stoked to be camping from the crime scene. THE ONE that is ILLEGAL to be near! Damn potheads. Partaking of the spliff, stoner #1 (Ken May of Welcome to the Grindhaus, Tales of the Grave, Meathook Massacre 4 and Robowoman) actually stops and thinks his mortality could be on the line given no one has caught this killer. Heeeey...

Every 10 years under the Harvest Moon, the beast roams the land looking for sacrifices only to return to its ancient slumber afterwards. Mind you we are getting this probably fourth hand Chinese Whispers style. This cat was any more baked, he'd be a lasagna.

Our POV creature is making the rounds and by all that is Holy he doesn't seem to dig photographers, health nuts and hippies. That's close to 45% of Southern California, brah. What is your damage? Sheriff will have to be taking the Mayor Vaughn shark defense and fending off those pesky questions like: "Is it safe to be out at any hour? What are you doing to catch this killer? "

With two girls stranded nearby, they're out of gas. Oh no, now they'll have to make out. Right? Sorry only used to the hetro male answer for the out of gas with a girl.  On the outskirts of town, it's only a 2 mile walk. Beth (Julie Anne Prescott of Doomsday County, Dead End, Burn Notice, Hell's Kitty, No Strings 2: Playtme in Hell, House of Blood, and Meathook Massacre 4) and Becky( FX guru Alexys Paonessa (Electric Dreams, Black Lightning, Lucifer, Meathook Massacre: The Final Chapter and Moon of the Blood Beast) debate on the walk versus waiting for a good Samaritan. Finally the call of nature can no longer be avoided and neither is the culling.

That's not how we poop! Bad Hippie! Bad!

Wouldn't be a Ferguson film without seeing the lovely Dawna Lee Heising make an appearance.

Her son Clifford (Dustin Wonch of Runaway Nightmare and Moon of the Blood Beast) may end up missing dinner.

I started laughing when I realized that sneaky man snuck in clips of Track of the Moon Beast. Yeah I know this film and no I did not have to review it. Many moons ago, MST3K riffed on it as Johnny Longbow told us all went into his stew in the most monotone voice I have heard. "Corn, chicken, rice.." Poor Dawna has to sit through this flick. That's a trooper. Because as we all know, lunar meteorites are the cause of lizard man mutations. Back to the film.

Body count's stacking up like cord wood in a slasher film, Sheriff. You getting off your keister and tending to this or do we call in Chuck Norris? In less than two days, the kill count has managed double digits. Get the beast, Gabe! You got this!

Is the town damned? Does anyone have a spine to end this curse? What would having a local demon legend do for the tourist economy?

Well once again, the proof is there in front of you. You give Dustin some wiggle room, creative reins and he will deliver.  With some great POV camera work, cut screen kills we have an urban legend ground plan laid out and some good performances.  It has a real Jaws vibe to it, a dash of Grizzly meets Pumpkinhead.  A modern day folklore that seems to be scoffed at but the sinister undertone is there.  It's almost as if the town is aware of this happens every ten years whether they will admit it out loud or not. Frankly their negligence to warn travellers and the townsfolk makes the movie a lot more disturbing.

Nice to see Dustin's streak is only getting better. And hats off to FX woman Alexys Paonessa (Electric Dreams, Black Lightning, Lucifer, Meathook Massacre: The Final Chapter and Moon of the Blood Beast) as our creature does look ghastly.

I think this is cool. Bad Jake! Bad!

Drive-In Grindhouse

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. It appears that I have been called upon to review some new work of director/editor Dustin Ferguson (Doll Killer, Die Sister, Die!, Gloved Murderess, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death, Invitation to Die, Nemesis 5: The New Model and Robowoman). Yes years ago I was sneering at Camp Blood 4 when the young director contacted and reopened my eyes to Indie Horror. Forgot the roots but no longer is that an issue. Thanks to Dustin. So I am to look at an anthology set of Indie Horrors and first off, you got to love this level of networking. Men and women gathered under the mutual love of the genre and organizing to showcase their work. Edited by SoCal Cinema Studios and produced by A Troma Team Release via B movie master Uncle Lloydie himself, Lloyd Kaufman. This is Drive-In Grindhouse a.k.a. Grindsploitation 8.

Perhaps a Killer Queen. Dynamite with a laser beam?

Admittedly, the production companies, MrSheltonTV Media and Schlock Productions made my Spidey senses tingle but again the company names are clearly in good fun. So let's sit in for some faux trailers and some short story horrors. With a grand tally of 15 directors, these short stories and faux trailers could be a bit. 3 and a half hours long to be exact. Let's see how it goes.

We open with an eerie synthesizer effect and a flyer for virtual reality wanting volunteers, will pay! Yeah experimental tech is always good to be a guinea pig. A big fella is there for the Grindhouse Experience and a slightly creepy guy invites him in. Why the big guy needs dish washing gloves is beyond me. With a VR rig establishing all forms of Exploitation, a menu drop down rig allows the user to immerse with the each subgenre. Nunsploitation, Naziploitation, Blaxploitation, Sexploitation, the ever popular Women in Prison (popular way too much for some of my readers) and Uncut or Uncensored if you will.

With a direct link to the neuro pathways, the VR sprite is attacking and our boy is getting the feedback through his nerves as if he has been assaulted with weapons.

And down, down the rabbit hole we go. FYI, we just saw the opening segment as credits. Trippy, right? Few title cards and some death metal later, we open to folks toking in a car as we are having a meta key (a creation referring itself or the conventions of the genre) moment, the actress in Moon of the Blood Beast is with friends watching the film within a film. A trailer for the Moon of the Blood Beast which has a decent narration as the girl is stalked POV style and right into another exploitation trailer using its previous footage. Looks like I put in the trailers for Hard Boiled, The Prowler and Not of this Earth. MUUUUtant Monks From Outer Spaaaaace!!! What? I can have fun too, you know. Hmm guess this would be Aussieploitation?

Vash the Stampede??

Our first segement is Phantoms of the Fog by director Chris Milewski (The Cold Eyes of Death, Violets Bloom at an Empty Grave, The World of Shadows and POE 4: The Black Cat). It's got a real Amando de Ossorio, Tombs of the Blind Dead vibe with its opening shoot. Possibly a Lucio Fulci, City of the Living Dead feel. A Vietnam Horror themed film? Cool. A soldier (Ryan Fargo of Wannabees, Phantoms of the Fog and Drive-In Grindhouse) awakes in this fog ridden land and hey bonus points director, for having him in an M-65 field jacket!!! Props, people. Loving them.

With no firearms, blade, radio, rations or water, our grunt stumbles through the jungle not knowing where he is. There's something out there. It lives...in those woods. Stalking our young soldier. Finding an empty range bag, ammo box and a working coms, soldier calls for a position. He looks decidedly creeped out and with good reason. He's being POV stalked. Soldier boy is hung up on a crude EOD (Explosives Ordnance Device) and something is still lurking out there.

Our next short story Death Like Me directed by Ruben Rodriguez (Sisters, It Requires Sacrifice, They Exist, Zombie, 60 Seconds to Die and Just Desserts) tells the tale of a home aide Genesis (Ghevon Sebastian of Emotional Intelligence, The Quad, Black Lightning, Vengeance: Killer Lovers) with a deep seeded need for murder. Bet that didn't get put on her resume. Also seems a bit intorverted, so yeah not very outgoing in the least. Shot with a black and white filter post production, sets more of a tone or maybe even shades of grey.
Her friend Luis (writer/director/actor/second unit and editor Will Fonseca of Table One, Billy's Choice, Winter Solstice, El bandido, and Here to Stay) is trying to get his party on but Genesis is dragging her feet. With elements of Poe sprinkled in, our girl bit of a creeper. Obsessed with the notions, dreams and even random flashes of death, the girl seems lost.
A hapless drunk (Lucio Fernadez of Magic Sticks, 30 Rock Vampire in Union City, the Death of April and Paiting Linda)lands in her lap, providing her such options. Now I am not saying she's unhinged but she is having a conversation Believe the clinical term is: "Crackers!!" Naturally one hits the bar to drown the crazy voices in her head when she gets a Cosmo sent to her by a secret admirer. With a little light conversation, some miscommunication, Genesis takes her back to her creeper pad. Just not in the fashion you are probably accustomed to.

Hmm Fulci or Mattei influence?

With a trailer of Curse of the Monkey Beast an exploitation I completely spaced to mention Kung Fu flicks. Yeah a monkey beast must fight for honor as a white guy spanks this monkey up and down the grounds. Let us not forget the terrifying Beast Rage, ghost house and cannibalistic tendencies, oh my. Another quick bit of Kung Fu is Sifu vs The Undead Warrior. I think the Chromeskull and robed villain of the piece is supposed to be Jiangshi (Chinese Hopping Vampire that sucks Qi). Dear God it is amazing some of the goofy trivia I know. Sifu (Clive McKenzie of Project V: The Viper, Show Me Da Money, Merry Kissmas and Halloween Creep Tales) is locked in mortal combat with a being of ancient standing and dark forces, the Jiangshi (John H. Shelton of Z (Zombie) Reviews, Fragile Minds, Clownsploitation, Grindsploitation 666, Halloween Hell Night and The Isolated Heart). Sifu must defeat his awesome nemesis and then continue to walk the Earth, writing wrongs. Moving on.

SUMMON IRON FISTS!!!

Hmm an sepia blend, some girl experiencing blood letting, a random shot of a horse in a corral. Umm take that Jean Paul Satre! Um something something, madness takes over. Regret and shame. Any who.

Now how about a 15 minute saga of Inanna, the Queen of Heaven? Director/actress/producer Tritia DeViSha (Kali Geisha Erotica Grotesque, Exit from Eden: The Story of Lilith, Cannibal Barbecue and Inanna, The Queen of Heaven) with an ancient goddess made flesh Inanna, Goddess of Lust and War seeks to rule her lands with fairness but is almost prone to a temper.  No I am not doing a sexist joke.  Respect my boundaries.
 
After the armies of Gilamesh (Andrew Lutomski of Counter Play, Vikings Now and Inanna, the Queen of Heaven) came before Inanna, she invites Gilamesh for a conference...in her bedroom...clothing optional. Though a striking beauty, Gilamesh keeps his wits about him. Guess it's like sleeping with a crazy girl, the sex can be amazing but palm a blade just in case. Spurned by Gilamesh, Inanna made demands the mightiest warrior to slay her would-be betrothed. The Bull of Heaven (Matt Jones of Silver Strand, Traffik, Neighbours, Night Shift and Drive-In Grindhouse) was summoned to do her bidding. Dude's pretty cut so maybe substitute lover? Just an idea there, Inanna. Slaughtering dozens of his men, the Bull and Gilamesh (Way to step in late, brah) mix it up.

Can a Sumerian use a Trojan? Gonna need one soon.

Next up seems to be a satire on the roaring 20s as the inhabitants of this dinner party I am convinced escaped the loony bin. Squabbling among themselves during the funeral of their late grandfather we have a couple with the couth of NASCAR fans, a gold digging flapper and a pompous professor. Using a Ouija board (because that's never a bad idea) the hopeless quartet conjures a minor spirit guide who warns them this game is pretty standard but not to dip their hands into the treasure of jewels, for it will unleash the denizens of Hell loose upon them, dragging them down, down down. And apparently a meta time shift. Must have been wibbly wobbly. Being the greedy and foolish asshats that they were, of course they took the jewels.

A few more phony trailers. Got to say liked Sanguine Addiction for pace and warped notions.

On to Roulette. A couple are killing time or just need more of a thrill in their relationship so why not some Russian Roulette? Skipping some levels there, people. Get a marital aid or a threesome going. Going right to the revolver? What will you have to look forward to in your golden anniversary? But of course the game gets interrupted by a Mormon. Mary (Chasiti Vannatta of Amateurs, Roulette and Drive-In Grindhouse) and Henry (Josh Schanderof Roulette and Drive-In Grindhouse) look a little annoyed but decide to hear this stranger out. Discovering the Roulette revolver, the stranger decides to sit in the game. Guess it's hard to push the good book?

Hmm, that is a fifty on the ground but I might get clubbed.

On to Cannibal Maniac via writer/director/producer Kyle Rappaport (Horror Talk Movie Reviews, and Cannibal Maniac). The sit rep is a schmo goes down the stairs of a filthy basement to be stabbed by a nut in a mask that looks to weight about 150.   Not really that intimidating to my way of thinking but I could be wrong.  Schmo wakes up on a makeshift table in said basement a wee bit scared. A bit of shakey cam and gore effects on the inexpensive. Nothing new but well orchestrated. Got the whole found film footage feel to it.

Um we have a short that sounds like the funkadelic only found in porn titles. Feels like a PSA on how to steal a girl's man. The observation gags are funny, the girl has decent projection but I am not exactly sure what is going on.

Chad Media is POV and apparently our camera man is obsessed with Troma Scream Queen Debbie Rochon in the shower. Well...yeah can't really fault him. She is pretty damn gorgeous. Chad Media is so cheap they aren't giving the cameraman a salary but they can fix it to hook up with Debbie. Did they bother to tell her?

How about a Troma promo booty girl? Yeah why not. Twerk away. Then we get a punk cover and a Troma reel of hits. Kinda cool.

Now some slasher fun? The Killer Plumber 2: Here's Barry!!! Brought to us by director/actor/writer Ross Heath (The Killer Plumber, Halloween Hell Night, Knock Knock knock, and Pushed too Far) and writer/actor Chris John Livermore (Halloween Hell Night, Case Files, The Killer Plumber 2 and Creamy Boy) with actress Rahel Kapsaski (Xandermonium, Alice and the Last Lottery, Waxhouse Rock, Doctor Slime, Grindsploitation 666, Molly, and Mephisto's House of Ill Repute)

Clogged drain? Well clearly call the Killer Plumber. A deranged maniac perhaps, but his rates are quite reasonable. With a bit of handy cam, some homemade effects, and some unusual camera angles, this isn't a bad showcase of talent. Could use some lighting schemes and maybe a shotgun mic but overall sets the mood. 

Young lady, stop sexting at the dinner table!

So with this collective levels of film skills, budget and creativity happening, it's time for the last gasp with Big Blind by director/writer Dane Keil (Creative Differences, Xenophobia, Make Games, Not War, Potatoes from Outer Space, Clownsploitation and Drive-In Grindhouse).

This film comes off as positively Noir in tone and vision. Already you have my attention, sir. With an undercover cop, Horace (Kelly Melerine of Decepticons, For Michelle, The Big Blind and Sanguine Addiction) inflitrated a high stakes poker game with a mob boss Tommy (Kevin J. O'Connor of Last Vegas, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Banshee, Constantine, Mile 22 and Drive-In Grindhouse) in the hopes to free his moll (mob girlfriend or misstress) Natalia (Victoria U Bell of the Getaway, The Big Blind, Your Lips Kiss Well, but They Lie Better and The Agony) from the scumbag's hands, it's all in the cards. This is shot like a pulp fiction dime novel with flashback sequences, grit and determination. Hey why are those mooks pummeling Lloyd Kaufman? Meh, maybe he owed them money. Tension is high, the henchmen look like they're about to jump our hero and I am completely digging the jazz as background music.

Ultimately, you have a plethora of talent operating on their own, striving to create original pieces and on a shoestring budget. Admittedly 3 and a half hours is fairly long but it really showcases what these folk can do with a bit of creativity and multiple genres. I mean there are several chunks of this I was really impressed with. Grab a copy on Troma Now and give it a watch. Maybe you'll enjoy it as well.

You will find the passages in the Necronomicon...