House of Pain

Hello my vivacious readers! I have returned! The Brazilian bombshell singer/musician/actress Daiane Azura (Big Trouble, Hate, Home Videos, Nemesis 5: The New Model, 2 Die For, Horndogs Beach Party and Conjuring Curse) pointed out some films of hers on TubiTv so I decided to take a peek, low and behold a Dustin Ferguson (Camp Blood 4, Camp Blood 5, The Amityville Legacy, Nemesis 5:The New Model, 2 Die Fore, Robowoman and Moon of the Blood Beast) flick and penned by writer Mike Reeb (Nemesis 5: The New Model, Horndogs Beach Party, Conjuring Curse and Robowoman). This is House of Pain.

Stevie Nicks' Cult of Satan.

 

Under a moon shrouded in clouds, SoCal Cinema Studios opens our film with a young black couple terrified out of their minds and a slow-paced stalker brandishing an axe, wearing what I thought was a bondage mask (I've lead a sheltered life) but I'm pretty sure it's more luchador. As Michelle (actress/dancer/stuntperson Carrie Bernans of Single Ladies, The Rich & the Ruthless, Lawd Have Mercy, Black Panther, Cage, SEAL Team, and Ballers)and Randy (actor/director/writer Phillip Trickey of House of Pain, Clown Motel Massacre and Axemas 2: Blood Slay) pleas for mercy and logic, it's a good bet this crew doesn't operate on either...at all.

The killer quartet draw and quarter these victims in order to adhere to a pact made long ago. Almost sounds like that won't be the last people butchered in their homes, right?

With our credits intro we get a bit of industrial tunes again courtesy of Velvet Acid Christ a tride and true of the Ferguson alumni for awesome soundtracks. Man, wish I had a flick for them to do a soundtrack to. Moving on we see a pleasant suburban area of Southern California and a somber musical intro. A couple drives up to this warm and inviting house with a lovely Daiane waiting to greet them. Quick question, do SoCal homes come automatically with a gorgeous girl waiting at the doorstep, because I may want to move back to Cali.

Today on American Pickers...

Worry not Ferguson fans, we can expect a few of the regulars to make their way into the picture. Our couple Miguel (Mark Popejoy of Die Sister, Die!, Gloved Murderess, Poet, Flat Waters Terror Volume 1 and Amityville Legacy and Camilla (the lovely Dawna Lee Heising of Blade Runner, Kung Fu: The Movie, Forbidden Warrior, Waiting for Dracula, Legend of the Red Reaper, Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance, Meathook Massacre II and Garden Party Massacre) and their two boys Marco (Edwin Garcia of Nemesis 5: The New Model, Stuck, A Taset of Phobia, House of Pain, Level Up, and 5G Zombies) and Javier are moving to this area and the boys are a bit annoyed leaving the city but for the sake of the folks and probably avoiding screaming matches, they're gonna give it a shot.

What's that, boys? An creepy clock on the mantle piece? Well you're not in a cabin in the woods, so I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like creepy and supernatural things occur in the suburbs. Well there was Poltergeist. Meh, probably just a fluke. Well the moving truck hasn't arrived and I guess the family may have to rough it for a few days.

At the swap meet, Camilla and Marco bump into...Sue Price(Nemesis 2: Nebula, Nemesis 3: Time Lapse, Nemesis 4: Death Angel, Nemesis 5: The New Model, House of Pain and Robowoman) and Brinke Stevens (The Slumber Party Massacre, Nightmare Sisters, Warlords, Munchie, Cheerleader Massacre, Die Sister, Die!, 666: Teen Warlock and Horndogs Beach Party)?

The mother and son duo are warned by Jose (Ken May of Welcome to Grindhaus!, Travisty, Grindsploitation 666, Tales from the Grave, Meathook Massacre 4, Robowoman and It Wants Blood!) in a vague exposition like way, that neighborhood they just moved into is dangerous. Tend to your produce, pally and leave the creepy old man warnings of blood to Crazy Ralph.

Ms. Stevens, I'm out of peaches. Please, don't beat me.

Miguel gets ambushed with a greeting by Dan (Robert Lankford of Meathook Massacre, Meathook Massacre II, Meathook Massacre 3: First Hunt, Nemesis 5: The New Model, Conjuring Curse, Meathook Massacre 4 and Meathook Massacre: The Final Chapter) who give warm invites and vague commentary on the house and the neighborhood. Ordinarily I don't lose my crap over a guy with some sick ink but dude kind of towers over you, you freak out.

Daiane comes over for dinner and I would point out this seems like the smallest gathering of family. Keep in mind, I have a lot of extended family and know many of varied Catholic households so perhaps it's everyone else is still in Phoenix. Normally you hit one of these houses and it's 25 to 50 people and you almost always hear, "A few of us had to work today."

Could the bad vibe you are feeling the work of the minions of the fallen angel? Most vile. That Lucy...fer guy. Yeah me and John Constantine live dangerously.

With the quick cut edits and camera work I am reminded of The Strangers and a hint of Robert Fuest's The Devil's Rain but with a more eerie industrial music and some nice handheld and tripod shots. 

Ferguson gives a nice lull period allowing everything to be nice and collective and then gets right into the terror factor. This neighborhood seems to almost be self-governing so no idea if local PD is even an option. Maybe the State Troopers? With a fantastic cast, solid script and patented directing, the mysterious story unfolds at its own pace and I for one can appreciate that.

Again another low budget indie that had plenty of creepy moments and clearly the cast had some fun. 

Time to beat up them weird furries up the block, baby.

Sneak Peek Preview: Nemesis 5: The New Model

Well ladies and germs I have a treat for you today as I just got the sneak peek at the latest Dustin Ferguson movie. No, stop saying who. Dustin (Doll Killer, Die Sister, Die!, Gloved Murderess, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death and Invitation to Die) gets to finally stretch his limbs into the genre of Sci-Fi as he told me in our phone interview last year, it has been something he had been dreaming of and finally given the reins to do just that. This is Nemesis 5: The New Model.

He clearly admires a girl of that caliber. Gun humor.

Continuing the very series director Albert Pyun (Cyborg, Deceit, Brain Smasher...A Love Story, Spitfire, Heatseeker, Raven Hawk, Mean Guns, Postmortem) built but never quite finished to many fans dismay, Ferguson is on the case. We open with a tasteful text crawl in space, filling in the blanks for some of the fans of the series as it has been a bit since we tapped into the cyber saga.

Cut to a harsh desert teeming with life under what sounds like Rob Robinson's composition on synthesizer (Meathook Massacre II, Tales From the Grave and Nemesis 5: The New Model) and bringing scope and depth already so I was completely stoked for this.

Reprising her famous Alex role is Sue Price of Nemesis II: Nebula, Nemesis III: Prey Harder and Nemesis 4: Death Angel is back again fighting for humanity. A dilapidated building stages a firefight between her and a fully converted cyborg as a young girl watches on in curiosity, not horror.

 The year is 2089, Alex strolling through the wastelands defeating cyborgs in gunfights and hand-to-hand combat. L.A.P.D.and the Red Army Hammerheads went to war, claiming to be humanity's savor and neither able to stop the apocalypse.

Yes, the writer is checking out Sue Price's legs. What of it?

Time and wounds have taken their toll on her as she has fought the cyborgs for so long that even this DNA mutant warrior of past and future must prepare for the next adventure and pass the torch to a new generation.

With her biotech engineering and cybernetic upgrades Alex learned to be a ruthless killing machine but in return lost much of her potential humanity.  Alex raises the abandoned little girl and trains her to be vicious, intelligent, cunning yet focused on her goals.   The only way for the end to not come is to send Ari (Schuylar Craig of Blood Claws, Camp Blood 4, Blood Model and The Amityville Legacy) back to 2077 in order to stop the actions of the L.A.P.D.and the Red Army Hammerheads before it is too late. Unlike Alex, Ari is 100% human with no augmentations to assist her.

Good to see some regulars of the Ferguson stable getting some meat and potatoes roles.

Jennii Caroline (Escape to Black Tree Forest, Black Forest III, Doll Killer, Die Sister, Die!, Gloved Murderess, Camp Blood 4 and Meathook Massacre II) appears as a Red Army Hammerhead controller using the cyborgs to capture data for spin stories.   Edwin Garica (Meathook Massacre II, PHOBIA, Stuck and Stacked) as a resistance fighter,  Mark Popejoy (Die Sister, Die!, Gloved Murderess, Poet, Flat Waters Terror Volume 1 and Amityville Legacy) as Doom, transportation entrepreneur and Daniel Stier (Tales for the Campfire, Night of the Clown, Meathook Massacre II and Nemesis 5: The New Model) also a resistance fighter.

Those Black Friday sales are out of control!

Feeling as though the human and cyborg resistance fighters could actually succeed at their mission, it is believed that a Nebula enforcer combat model needs to chase Ari and her crew down and turn them in to meat sauce.

Some nice throwbacks and nods to the second film, we have the giggling blond assassin units again, strifing the place with laser bolts rather than the Desert Eagles of 1980 played by Breana Mitchell (Cheerleader Camp:To Death, Die Sister, Die!, Invitation to Die, Meathook Massacre, Blood Claws, Camp Blood 5 and Amityville Legacy) and Lia Havlena (Wrong Side of the Tracks and Nemesis 5: The New Model).

What really grips your attention is the amazing vocals of actress/vocalist Daiane Azura (Prison of Psychotic Damed: Terminal Remix, Paranoia and Nemesis 5: The New Model) of Pandora Black. A mixture of techno, pop and astounding v/o stylings, this blend of unique tracks and singing keeps up with the pace of the film.

Cinematography is unbearably awesome, some great zooms via drone cam, good hand held and the filters bring some real life into the regions, great cut scenes for editing pushes a compelling story.

Let's talk about our star, Schuylar Craig as clearly she has had some strength training, martial arts and even some stunt work. She got put through the paces and good for her, getting something this intense as a major project.

Hey wait a minute, what about our main villains? Barbie and the Hammerhead leader Mel?

Hey that's the lovely Dawna Lee Heising (Blade Runner, Kung Fu: The Movie, Forbidden Warrior, Waiting for Dracula, Legend of the Red Reaper, Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance and Meathook Massacre II) and hard working character actor Mel Novak (Game of Death, Cat in the Cage, An Eye for an Eye, Future War, Vampire Assassin, Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance, Check Point and Holy Terror)!

Clocking in at a 71 minutes, this bigger budgeted Ferguson film rocks. Post-production laser effects, excellent filtering, an amazing musical score and everyone busting ass bringing their all to this movie. A cyberpunk post-apocalypse that brings older fans back to the series and newer fans to dive right in.  A good blend of old and new.

Nice to see Dustin tackling a genre he has been a fan of for so long. 

Wind mill of death kick!

 

Nemesis Week: Nemesis 4: Death Angel

And we are back. Apologies for not getting this finished on Friday. I decided to do an audio review of a DVD that was poorly formatted. Thankfully no encryption to speak of but still it was crap. Today however we continue following Alex (Sue Price) as she has to kill a man. Shall we see how that turns out? This is Nemesis 4: Death Angel a.k.a. Cry of Angels: Nemesis 4, Nemesis IV and Nemesis 4.

Yeah I miss the braids.

Alex is back, kicking ass and taking names. Our movie opens with the weirdest red sun glare effect. Ahhh Alex is on Krypton!!! Kidding aside, Alex is speaking to a Padre about his drug racket smuggling action he had and dispatches his cyborg ass.  Not sure why Alex in very obvious black vinyl newsboy cap and raincoat but she is off being pursued by more cyborgs and popping out time seems easy and she distracts her trackers by....flashing them and gunning them down? Um okay.   Woman in black (Blanka Copikova of Nemesis 4: Death Angel and Andrenalin: Fear the Rush) speaks of weeping angels and mows the borgs down.

Text exposition points out the uneasy peace humans and cyborgs have as a bit of footage from 2 and 3 are being used as the credit titles go. Well makes sense to use what you already have. Alex is a cyborg killer and her handler Benardo (Andrew Divoff of Toy Soldiers, The Hunt for Red October, Wishmaster, JAG, Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies, Alias, Crossfire, CSI: Miami) gives her the Farnsworth speech of one last job before she retires. She has been residing in the future of 2080 now gacking cyborgs on the QT but she has gotten either sloppy.

We don't get much call for that, Just Johnny.

Kind of miss the braids as her hair is completely straighten. So off to Europe to seduce an almost complete borg and he assumes her to be the woman in black as they are both have similar build. She tends to him effectively. Benardo does not care for her attitude towards life and death. Dude, she is a giant leap into the human evolution in the sense of smarter, faster and stronger. That much death on her hands and you don't think she wouldn't be a bit off. The cyborgs all have this tattooing and indentations like her on again, off again borg with benefits Earl (Nicholas Guest of Star Trek II: Wraith of Khan, USA High, Roughnecks: The Starship Troopers Chronicles, Cowboy Bebop: The Movie, Star Trek: Armada II, Star Trek: Bridge Commander, Justice League, Sons of Anarchy and Batman: The Brave and the Bold) as a good kill apparently gets Alex in the mood.

Yes all nude, but shadows are obfuscating everything.

We will skip the information retrieval/sexual gratis because I feel akward mentioning it. Lot of phallus penetration comments to be made. No sooner does that weird bit of tension Alex finds out that her kill was the wrong man and Earl is supposed to put two in the coconut and call it a day. Probably few men that have an issue being crushed in Alex's legs. Benardo giving off a Ralphie of Johnny Mnemonic vibe and Alex should have picked up on that if the job went as sideways as she thinks it did.

She's as hardcore as ever but for some reason Albert Pyun just wants to display her as a sex object rather than the bad ass warrior she has been for the previous movies. Alex is still as lost in this time as she was in 1980 without her tribe or direction.

She and the Woman in Black are forming a relationship of questions and answers but the answers will come at a time of the Woman in Black's choosing and not sooner. I find most of the dialogue lacking substance and redundant. It felt like Pyun was setting up for a part 5 but didn't really feel like it was going to happen.

Didn't think I would say this but I wasn't really impressed with this one. Story feels a bit choppy and rushed. The camera work is very professional but the lighting feels like a photo shoot rather than a movie. I am disappointed in freedom fighter turned femme fatale. Well on Monday I check in with director Dustin Ferguson on what tidbits he can release about his upcoming Nemesis 5 film. 

That thing on your forehead is ready to pop.

Nemesis Week: Nemesis III: Prey Harder

Welcome back readers young and mature, although if you are mature why are you reading this blog? We journey on now to the further adventures of Alex (Sue Price of Nemesis II: Nebula, Nemesis III: Time Lapse, Nemesis IV: Death Angel) that wacky DNA mutant or genetically engineered specimen worthy of Khan's notice. Will she leave 1980 to save those in the future? How will she even get to the future? This is Nemesis III: Time Lapse a.k.a. Cyborg Terminator 3, Nemesis 3 and Nemesis III: Prey Harder.

Jiggly borgs of the future!!!

Ah yeah baybee! Alternative titles. Well I have had those since Andy Warhol's films.

Now people have grumbled of the stock footage of Nemesis II being used to recount how Alex (Sue Price) came to be in 1980, grow up to be a bad ass warrior and in general have a stick up their butt about this and that. You will find many a film reusing footage both A and B movie alike so button it more maybe you feel Richard Donner should be crucified for Superman II's use of previous footage. Whatever. It is not my concern.

Moving on we catch up with Alex as her last escapades dealing with Nebula the armored cyborg hunter and how she defeated it. Because of the alternative titles my copy is Prey Harder. A brief exposition establishes Nebula's failure to capture Alex so a newer model is being sent to capture her because her DNA may be the key to ending the human uprising. Cut to the future with cityscape and a droid reviewing the data and gen 2 computer generations under its awesome helm is...Farnsworth? Yup another recreation android Farnsworth 2.0 (Tim Thomerson of Fade to Black, Trancers, Near Dark, Air America, Dollman, Trancers II, Trancers III, Nemesis, Brain Smasher... A Love Story and Spitfire) is back for this one and I guessing since they already had him in production, they just knocked out a new model. Hey it worked for Arnold, so hush.

That Ab Rocker will take it right out of you.

Injured and battered from Nebula, Alex is re-cooperating from her wounds and starts having memories of the past movie when she awakens, a little scarred but none of them left threatening which is wild considering the punishment she took from the cyborg killing machine. A lesser being would be dead ten times over. Maybe her necklace that was encoded with the information Jor-El I mean her mother left her will finally give her the what what. Hey I am hopeful.

With her village and people wiped out, Alex journeys to find answers, food and shelter in East Africa. Loaded with a handful of pistols, augmented strength, reflexes and a will to survive she encounters Farnsworth purely by accident as he will aid her from her wounds but for some reason she does not see his true form and only the pleasant man claiming to be a missionary as he sees her wounds hardly matter even being shot in the head she only is slightly amnesiac. She is having flashes of a combat she had but cannot recall with who.

Farnsworth 2 is scanning her mind and body without her really understanding why. He starts questioning her family, sisters, mother and if she has any family. Now to any sane person Farnsworth sounds like a complete creeper but Alex has never been beyond her village.

Memories traveling with two men in a jeep and seeing a similar time capsule in the air she and the men go investigate but the Wotans attack them and only Alex survived and true to fashion she strips the bodies of needed supplies and weapons. Her McGuffin necklace leads her to Ramie (Ursula Sarcev of Nemesis 3: Time Lapse) claiming to be her sister. Flashes to being attacked again and again. Realizing how powerful Alex is, Farnsworth communicates to the future for backup if they are going to secure Alex. Her necklace joins her with her sisters to they may procreate and build a league of super beings to overthrow their cyborg masters. We will call that Plan B... For boning.

Jack Trancer is not a happy bunny.

During the height of the Civil War in Africa several of the Wotans have been replaced with cyborgs hell bent to kill Alex when she meets up with Edsion (Norbert Weisser of Midnight Express, The Thing, Schindler's List, Hocus Pocus, Heatseeker, Omega Doom, Blast, Crazy Six, Brimston and Sorcerers), a merc for hire that saw all his rebel employers vaporized who gets abandoned by Alex as he is visited by Lock (Sharon Bruneau of Nemesis 2: Nebula, Tornado Run, Nemesis 3: Time Lapse, Erotic Confessions, Erotic Confessions: Volume 11, R.S.V. P. And Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding) and Ditko (Ms. Olympia Debbie Muggli of Joe Weider's Ms. Olympia XIII, Martin, Nemesis 2: Nebula and Nemesis 3: Time Lapse) two platinum blonde gun nuts tracking Alex.

The rebels are not faring well with the cyborgs blowing away everything in sight tracking down Alex.

Can Alex reunite with her half sisters?? Will she have to wait a year for another time capsule?

Okay aside from the borg twins, this is not a bad continuation of the story. I was glad to see Tim Thomerson back and an explanation of new bot. The action is decent, the effects for the bots are...a wee bit simple with the digital overlay with glowing eyes, blurring of the characters and I really missed Nebula in action but again that full rubber body suit must have been sweltering.

And yes I will finally comment about Desert Eagles Mark VII wasn't made until 1990 and 9mm Berettas M9 wasn't made until 1985 being wildly used in 1980 before their inception leads me to believe even killing machines like their design. Still would have brought laz weapons myself.

Overall not a bad sequel to 2 and I look forward to seeing 4 tomorrow.

Rambo got nothing on Alex.

Nemesis Week: Nemesis II: Nebula

And we are back. Greetings readers and welcome back to Nemesis Week. I realize that should read Nemeses Week for proper grammar but that has never been a top priority on this blog. After the episodic film of yesterday...well there will be spoilers. Those not interested in that, clear out now. You have been warned. Okay with that bit of unpleasantness out of the way we move to our sequel. This is Nemesis II: Nebula.

I'm looking for Sarah Connor...oh wait a minute.

78 years later (2098 AD) after the fall of humanity's dominance of the planet. L.A. Bounty hunter Alex failed in his mission and mankind is under the yoke of the machines. They have lost to their cyborg masters but a faction of rebel scientists develop a new DNA strain. Yup to save us from the tyranny of enhanced machines, we will genetically modify humans. So from the hands of T-800 to Khan??!! Let's see how it pans out. With this potential demon or savior "Mom" has emerged from a time cube with glyphs in the year 1980 in East Africa. Seriously, I think she stole Omega's TARDIS. Brandishing her Desert Eagle of the future she heads for high ground with a less than thrilled baby Alex in her arms.

Mom has to abandon the baby because plot device. With a bit of exposition she tells the baby that she will have powers and that Nebula will one day come for the baby. She give baby Alex the Kal-El send off and tells her the Spencer's Gift/New Age Crystal McGuffin necklace will reveal all one day. Her mother killed, Alex is raised by the tribe of East Arizona er um Africa. Yeah imagine not being able to fly out to a region that may not care for outsiders traipsing about.

I NEVER SAW PARISSSSSS!!!!!!

20 years after the 78 years later. Making that 2118 A.D.?? Anyway, the Nebula (stuntman Chad Stahelski of Spitfire, Nemesis II: Nebula, Nemesis 3: Time Lapse, Vampires, The Hunted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Constantine and V for Vendetta) bounty hunter has finally managed to a glimpse of Alex. Alex (Sue Price of Nemesis II: Nebula, Nemesis 3: Time Lapse, Nemesis 4: Death Angel and Nemesis 5: The New Model) now grown to be a warrior thanks to her adopted Kutu tribe and personally I think Nebula blew off his assignment so he could be challenged. 78 years control of the people, yeah he wanted a true fight for a change.

Now before we all start screaming Terminator rip-off, take a breath and realize every time travel series does not revolve around your cybernetic organisms that are just living computers. These cyborgs were once human. See??!!! 10 minutes in the film and we already have POV of Nebula cruising along the dunes in search of his prey. Suck it T-1000 with your playing it safe as a patrol cop.

Starwoman: in Color.

The tribal chief (Shelton Baily of Nemesis 2: Nebula and Nemesis 3: Time Lapse) senses the arrival of Nebula through the bones like Rune stones as Alex prepares to prove herself as a warrior for her tribe. Juna (Earl White of Nemesis 2: Nebula, Bloodsport 2, Nemesis III: Time Lapse, Blast, Omega Doom, Sorcerers and Black Panther) her friend, rival and potential love interest worries for her safety rather than admitting he is not certain he can deal with her being a warrior but he does care for her and wishes her to succeed for everything she has fought for. Taken to her vessel of origin Juna explains her ship came from the sky, and Alex finds a high frequency knife or dagger that cuts through solid rock.

With their village destroyed, Juna and Alex retreat to prepare a new attack. Armed with her skills, blade and a Mosin-Nagant bolt-action rifle or the M1891 Alex must destroy this monster before the region and all its inhabitants get wiped out in the process.

First off, kudos to Pyun giving the stereotypical action hero role to a woman and not making it so campy that she could fight. Price is in amazing shape, looks like she can handle herself and in no way is less than feminine for her body building. Why she has to save the Americans from the Wotans is pretty typical I suppose but Price is priceless. Just draws the schmuck's pistol off of him, shoves and blows them away. The civil war seems too similar to the Chadian-Libyan conflict, a bloody nine year conflict from 1978 to 1987.

Our story has mild exposition, Alex is damn impressive in cunning, skill and instinctual nature but she does not let it take away her humanity. Unlike her American counterparts that have never been put in a life and death situation, you realize Alex's continued existence is because of the harsh environment she grew up in, thinks on her feet, not shy about looting the bodies and very capable. My lone complaint. No one liners. It's Cyborg with Van Damme almost. Maybe Alex will develop a sense of humor in the third film. We will see. Makes you wish more directors had the balls to make a female action hero/antihero without having to resort to the "love interest" every time.

GET SOME!!!!