We are back in action, my friends. To
those of you that requested this next movie, I have one question.
"Why?" Look we all know I have sat through my fair share
of horror films but come on! This is a Donald Farmer flick.
The guy that brought you such titles like: Vampire Cop, Demolition
Highway, Space Kid and An Erotic Vampire in Paris. Yeah not too
pleased but let's get through this magnum opus and hope for the best.
This is Chainsaw Cheerleaders.
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| Attack of the Cheerleader clones!!! |
Gonna say right off the bat, I do not
recognize the cast aside from the vivacious Tiffany Shepis
(Death Factory, Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle Pie, Bloody Murder
2: Closing Camp, Devils Moon and Victor Crowley) Troma Scream
Queen Debbie Rochon (Hellblock 13, Dead Clowns, In the
Woods, Bikini Bloodbath, Splatter Disco, A Feast of Flesh and Nun of
That) and Jim O'Rear (The Vampyre Wars, Hayride
Slaughter, Charlie and Sadie, The Legacy, The Dead Matter,
Resurrection and Stephen King's The Boogeyman), so this could
be trouble.
The opening title shots looks like the
beginning to a porno (Not that I would ever lower myself to
watching such) with chainsaws, some mild public domain techno
rock mix, hard bodied teens glistening with sweat, close up pans on
lips getting licked so subtlety is right out the window.
Firstly, Dawn (Michele Grey of
The Green Room, Plague of the Damned, Love Fever, Lucidity, The
Alantan and Unravelled) a chainsaw brandishing cheerleader
gives us some narrative.
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| Tiffany may have accidentally killed this girl. Not sure. |
500 years prior, enter Lucinda (Tiffany
Shepis) rocking a peasant gown out in a park er um ancient
pathway to the king's court. As she torments her chosen victim
with...a CGI creature and a large ceremonial knife. With a bit of
heart or rather a lot of it, two robed monks interrupt Lucinda's
ceremony and thwart her wicked ways with cleansing fire...for now.
Modern day, it looks like we entered a
flea market uh that is, occult store. Yeah that's it. Getting items
for the upcoming Macbeth high school play with creeper shopkeeper
Angelique as we fade into Dawn and her boyfriend Dax (Christopher
Shaw of Chainsaw Cheerleaders)apparently making a VHS nudie
tape of them getting fleshy. VHS for that? Damn hipsters!
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| A gaggle of girls. |
Mom (Susan Delmonico of The
Green Room, Chainsaw Cheerleaders, Shrimp Crawl and Hamlet &
Hutch) and Dad (Writer/director Donald Farmer of
Vampire Cop, Red Lips, Red Lips II, Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat,
Body Shop and Dorm of the Dead)are none to pleased with young
Dawn and are laying down the law. Dawn storms out of the house,
bumps into her friend Sarah who informs her that Dax has moved on
according to rumor. Yup, the hits keep on coming.
Bumping into our less than thinking lad
and his new conquest, Dawn handles this problem as only a young,
delicate flower of a girl can. By kneeing his marbles and smashing
his nose with her combat boots.
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| Guidance Counseling: After Dark. |
With the threat looming of assault
charges, Mom and Dad want Dawn to see the school headshrinker/guidance counselor Dr. Lacey (Debbie Rochon)
who FYI, kinda smoking hot in glasses. Her suggestion is something
peppy for our little angry Goth girl like cheerleader camp.
Hmm
Bloody Pom Poms joke or Cheerleader Camp: To The Death
joke?
 |
| The saw is the law, bub. |
Anywho, Dawn is whisked away for that
very mind numbing activity. Apparently the cheerleader group is the
Village of the Damned with all the blondes of Chassy (Jackey
Hall of Chainsaw Cheerleaders, Chrome Angels, Biohazard: Patient Zero
and The Invited), Ciara (Ciara Richards of Demon
Sight, Dorm of the Dead, Chainsaw Cheerleaders, and La Premiere)
and Jessica (Rabecca Lee of Chainsaw Cheerleaders).
Ugh. Main protagonist narrative throughout film... Oh God, did I
slip in an Uwe Boll movie by accident??
The trio of the damned (yup still
making the Village reference) send Dawn to sell a magazine
subscription as she just so happens to find the creeper demon worshiping crowd.
Shop owner Angelique (Ana Xaden
of Chainsaw Cheerleaders) is bringing Lucinda back through a
portal from Hell, maybe a Sliders portal, rift in the space time
continuum. Hell, I don't know. All I know is Tiffany is still
rocking the peasant gown.
Plot holes around Dr. Lacey sends a
horny guy away that ruined the tawdry naughtiness to be had so she
had to resort to her B.O.B. (battery operated boyfriend) that is
going places only your lover and gynecologist ventures, ladies.
Yeah. Yeah. We are not privy to those in depth shots.
Apparently good taste prevails. Pretty sure the breast augments
cost more than the flick's budget.
Can team spirit prevail??? Will the
girls fend off the evil witch???
Practical effects are fairly solid for
a smaller budget. There is decent blood spatter, gore effects,
monster appliances are well done. The sound quality tends to pop a
bit transitioning from scene to scene and we have some out of focus
shots where not all of the actors were deemed worthy of being
captured.
Michelle Grey and Tiffany Shepis put in
a solid performance. Absolutely loved Debbie Rochon's no nonsense
character so overall it is a serious note but yeah I can't say I was
blown away by the film. Not bad but not good. Sort of a middle of
the road... a road inhabited by supernatural entities and
cheerleaders.
I did laugh when Klove (Rudy
Ownbey of Chainsaw Cheerleaders) was a mindless slave.
Wasn't Klove the name of Patrick Troughton in Scars of Dracula?
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| Well she's no Juliet Starling, but acceptable. |
