As per request of writer/director/producer Jaysen Buterin (The Devil's Tramping Ground, Monster X, Kill Giggles) asked if Rotten Reelz Reviews would be willing to do a press release for the upcoming Kill Giggles. All too willing to help Indie Horror.
Greensboro, NC – Earlier this year Mad Ones Films ran a successful crowdfunding campaign for their clown-killing thriller/horror feature film Kill Giggles. With the investment phase now completed they have launched a promotional IndieGoGo campaign to raise additional funds that will allow them to make Kill Giggles even bigger, better and bloodier when they begin filming this June. “With the StartEngine campaign, as well as additional private investment secured, we met the minimum requirement needed to shoot the film! That means the cameras AND the clown heads will roll in June,” said Jaysen Buterin, writer/director of Kill Giggles, for Mad Ones Films. “We’re going to take a timeless terror trope and turn it on its rainbow wig-covered head by sending in the clowns to die instead!” The ethos of Mad Ones Films has always been to give a good deal to their fans and backers with unique and one-of-a-kind promotional items and movie merchandise for reasonable prices. Their IndieGoGo campaign is making signed copies of the film and other exciting merchandise available to those fans, investors, supporters, collectors and horror aficionados alike who may want something special ahead of the film’s eventual worldwide release.
“Some campaigns can feel like asking for an audience to part with money on the off chance of receiving what can be not a lot in return. With Kill Giggles we made real investments available to the public for as little as $100. Now that we’re able to produce a complete and profitable film, we also launched on IndieGoGo where our cast and special guest stars Judith O’Dea, Vernon Wells and Felissa Rose are all signing things fans will want!” said Callum Dougherty, Producer for Cubic7 Productions.
The campaign includes some thematically appropriate perks such as an autographed (inflatable) Bozo the Clown doll that was snagged within an hour, Kill Giggles-branded clown noses, a custom clown-a-gram, walk-on roles, and “Photo Roulette” where a disposable camera left on set every day will document the making of movie magic. After the film is completed the camera will be mailed to the backer along with a clown nose and signed DVD.
The campaign can be found at: https://igg.me/at/killgiggles
For more information on Kill Giggles, please visit the online circus at www.killgiggles.com or follow the film on Facebook: www.facebook.com/KillGiggles. ______________________________________________________________________________ SYNOPSIS: Tommy dos Santos wasn’t born a psychopath, nor was he made into a sociopath; he’s walking his own path – a path that will run red with the blood of the foulest most fiendishly frightening creatures ever conceived by man! Clowns!
No longer do they have the starring role in our nightmares, it is now the clowns who are the prey, running for their lives from a killer who won’t stop until every single one of them is dead.
Finally! Sorry, after almost a year I
finally have to chance to review this film that has been described as
The Expendables of Horror. Yes for you folks my age and a tad
younger, you will recognize many a name attached to this. Penned by
the late Gunnar Hansen (Leatherface of the Texas
Chainsaw Massacre) comes a maximum penitentiary gone amok in
Death House.
Man, the chicks on Orange is the New Black aren't that hot.
Felissa Rose herself was telling me
about this flick and by God I wanted to watch it since. When Angelia
tells you it's gonna be fun, you best be watching this.
Writer/director B. Harrison Smith (The Fields, 6 Degrees
of Hell, Camp Dread, ZK: Elephant's Graveyard, Death House and Garlic
& Gunpowder) brings a myriad of Horror icons of mid 70s
to early 80s. Names and faces will pop out at you rather easily.
Our super max prison holding the
baddest of the bad is supposed to be modeled after Dante's Inferno,
so yes that means levels upon levels. The most vile and despicable
are basement dwellers.
Bob Villa's This Old Hell House.
With a detailed inspection underway,
this subterranean holding facility keeps the worst of humanity under
lock and key for nine levels. Agents Toria Boon (Cortney Palm
of Seance: The Summoning, Sushi Girl, The Hit Girl, Alien Rising,
Zombeavers, It's Not a Date and Everlasting) and Jae Novak
(Cody Longo of Make It or Break It, Piranha 3D, Days of Our
Lives, The Silent Thief, For the Love of Money, Nashville and Secrets
and Lies) are there to observe the levels and take in the
medical and mental health works of Drs. Eileen Fletcher (Dee
Wallace of The Hills Have Eyes, The Howling, E.T. The
Extra-Terrestial, Cujo, Critters, Troubled Child, The Lords of Salem,
Grimm and Just Add Magic) and Karen Redmane (Barbara
Crampton of Re-Animator, Chopping Mall, From Beyond, Puppetmaster,
Robot Wars, Castle Freak, Guiding Light, The Bold and the Beautiful,
The Young and the Restless and You're Next).
Our prison's narrator of the tour
cannot be mistaken for anyone other than Adrienne Barbeau
and I immediately recognized her voice. 80s kid! Right here!
Farmer
Asa (Tony Todd of Night of the Living Dead, Voodoo Dawn,
Star Trek: The Next Generation, Candyman, Candyman: Farewell to the
Flesh, Wishmaster, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, The Prophecy:
Foresaken and Hatchet)
takes a young lady to the hill and what I am guessing is near on old
mine shaft or bomb shelter. His hand passes through her stomach wall
with near supernatural behavior, taking his time with his little
flower.
A
virtual reality hologram deck allows the doctors to program in the
killers' various victims, allowing the killers' scenarios to play
out. A gas keeps them mostly docile so they can't be violent and
start massacring the guards and staff. Boon escorts Sieg, who she
helped snare, a occultist/Neo Nazi (Kane Hodder of
Prison, Friday the 13th Part
VII: The New Blood, Friday the 13th
Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Best of the Best, Jason Goes to
Hell: The Final Friday, Project: Metalbeast, Jason X and DarkWolf)
to his own Hell on Earth. Careful kiddies, that Jason Vorhees/Victor
Crowley strength could kick in at any time.
Rubber bullets, my ass. Gimme a chain gun!
Meeting
up with Captain Galan (Kenny Ray Powell of Promoted,
Inspired to Kill, Death House, Garlic & Gunpowder and No More Mr
Nice Guy) , Boon gets a
request to review her mother's murder and murderer through this VR
holodeck and I gotta say...why? Will it give you closure?
Our
murderer is none other than Machete? (Danny Trejo of
Heat, Desperado, Spy Kids, From Dusk Til Dawn, Machete, Bad Ass, Rise
of the Zombies, Sons of Anarchy and Young Justice)
Our dead mom, Kristi (Camille Keaton of I Spit on Your
Grave, The Concrete Jungle, Savage Vengeance, Chop, The Lords of
Salem, Blood River, Cabaret Diabolique and Gterror in the Woods
Creek) is clearly the
driving force for Boon's dedication.
We
come across a Leatherface (Troma veteran Debbie Rochon
of Black Easter, Tromeo and Juliet, The Vampire's Seduction, Night of
the Living Dead: 30th
Anniversary Edition, Hellblock 13, Chainsaw Cheerleaders, Bikini
Bloodbath and Wrath of the Crows)
that even Gunnar Hansen would be proud of.
Before I go any
further, I would point out there is a ton of graphic gore, people.
No lie, this is bloody. So just pointing it out for anyone that may
not be able to handle chum buckets full of blood here.
Level
9, the heavily secured can only be observed by holographic system;
houses the five evils as they describe. Nazi genetist, Hirace Giger
(Bill Thorton of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Silent
Night, Deadly Night III: You Better Watch Out, House of 1000 Corpses,
Devil's Rejects, Repo: The Genetic Opera, Gotchic Harvest, Cynthia
and American Exorcist) who
somehow stunted his aging process. Balthoria (Lindsey
Hartley of Passions, Days of Our Lives, All My Children, Nightmare
Nurse, Smallville and Deadly Exchange),
channeling a certain Countess she too is a hemophile and bathes in
her victims' blood. Alexi Nela (Vernon Wells of The
Road Warrior, Commando, Innerspace, Revamped, The Butcher, Silent
Night, Zombie Night, World's End and Like a Bat Outta Hell),
Cannibal, Nercromancer connected to the deaths over 700 children that
they know of. Crau (Michael Berryman of One Flew Over
the Cuckoo's Nest, The Hills Have Eyes, The Barbarians, the Golden
Child, The Guyver, The Devil's Rejects, Z Nation, and Hell's Kitty),
augmented strength, enhanced intelligence and healing factor. An
experimental process created this but drove him crackers. Thile
(Vincent M. Ward of True Blood, NCIS, House of Payne,
The Walking Dead, Live Evil, Illicit and It's a Date)
Satanic occultist known for crucifixion and turning his victims
inside out. Blarf.
Uh oh, looks like a Blonde Off.
Novak
bumps into an old buddy of his, the Icicle Killer(Sid
Haig of Foxy Brown, Savage Sisters, Police Woman, Jason of Star
Command, Jackie Brown, House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects,
Brotherhood of Blood and Hatchet III)
who was responsible for his parents' deaths. Noticing a pattern
here. With a guard patrolling he thinks skunks are in the dumpster.
Doofus, call in for back up and wait with rifle drawn and safety on.
Well enough of the
tour, howzabout a 6 minute shower scene? Because our agents felt
they were dirty birdies, I guess. They have no real knowledge of
their tats, who they are and golly they are in a prison with behavioral modification and memory implants. Hmm....
Naturally you
can't make an omelet without massacring quite a few eggs as derpy
dead guard gives the medical term a Joker tummy surprise. Dr.
Redmane stays her path that memory erasure and new memory engrams are
the most moral things to do with these men and women, making them
productive members of society. You'd think this far into a future
set up, a de-atomizer would be a concept made machine. Well Timmy,
this is the fourth time in 12 years you have been sent to us wearing
another man's flesh. Pile of dust for you.
Dayum girl, you even bench?
Movie
editing, tight knit writing makes the memories more believable.
Enter Bennett (Richard Speight Jr. Of Independence Day,
Band of Brothers, Supernatural, Jericho, Justified and Driven)
with lovely assistants Dr. Angela Freeman (Felissa Rose
of Sleepaway Camp, Nikos the Impaler, Zombiegeddon, Satan's
Playground, Return to Sleepaway Camp, Silent Night, Zombie Night,
Camp Dread, and Victor Crowley)
Dr. Logan Harrison (Laura Compton of Clown Town, Attack
of the Killer Donuts, Heroes with Issues, Garlic & Gunpowder and
Hell Girl) who delight at
re-creating the murders through new, live victims. More specifically
the homeless so they can better study the criminals at large if you
will, compile that data and create the most comprehensive criminal
database. Yup nothing in that sounds really messed up if you say, a
soulless congressman, sure. Hack away! Gut them and wear their
intestines on your head, ya loopies. It's for the greater good.
WTF??!!!
Still no visit is complete without a visit from the 3
Satans. Yeah, yeah that could be confusing. We got Satan (Sean
Whalen of The People Under the Stairs, Twister, The Young and the
Restless, Chasing Ghosts, Halloween II, Hatchet III and Ugly Sweater
Party), Creator of Satan
(Bill Oberst Jr.of 1000 Ways to Die, A Haunting in
Salem, Circus of Dread, The Blood Let, Assassins, Hell's Kitty and
Welcome to Hell) and lastly
the Antichrist, Son of Satan (Bernhard Forcher of
August, Supernatural, Freedom, Fury, Grimm, The Man in the High
Castle and Counterpart).
Still confused? Well...okay not gonna lie. Pretty sure they are all
loopy including the staff of doctors. I did spot a couple of my
favorite scream queens, Brinke Stevens and
Tiffany Shepis in the back.
With an EMP device
the size of a frag grenade, the power's down and back-ups are not
kicking in. The monsters are out of their boxes, kids. Play time!
With the doomsday
scenario set, the prison is rigged for poison gas dispersal and any
staff or personnel left behind, well they aren't getting to enjoy
retirement.
What we have is a
society demanding order and structure but completely violating the
very rights this country stands for in order to create such harmony.
To willingly place people in harm's way for the sake of more data
gathered and they still have the audacity to call the murderers,
monsters.
This is very much
operating at the level of slasher horror and action film. The zoo
has sprung and folks are coming out to spill gallons of blood.
For me, I was
simply enjoying the who's who, decent story, substantial budget for a
Horror film of this genre. You got crowd fights, falls off railings
to level drops. Up close into the psychopath and sociopath mind. For
the slasher buffs, oh yeah it has it. And yes, it has nudity.
Almost always the same fricking question I am asked in this genre.
At 75
minutes we have fair dialogue and simple story with intense scenes,
blood and bits caking the walls, I swear I am having Epinions.com
flashbacks when I was stuck only writing about horror for them. So
many film references. Pretty sure Yan Birch of
The People Under the Stairs
(Stairmaster) was Dr.
Phibes so yeah there is a lot of inside jokes but no good humor here,
folks. Just gore, some T&A and a substantial body count.
Trapped in a shaft and haven't had lunch. Cannibalism yet?
What's this? Parry Shen
playing the same character twice? My God it can happen. Hey folks
I am back and yes we are heading down the dark path of Horror once
more. I know I am slowly gaining the reputation of doing just
Horror reviews and hey, toss a message on FB or the blog and give me
ideas what you want me to check out. Honestly though, you expect me
to pass up on Felissa Rose and Tiffany Shepis slugging
it out with a crazy monster of a man? Afraid not.
This is Victor Crowley.
Oh Jonah, keeping an eye out for us.
We get a flashback of a couple spooning
in a canoe in the sixties. Were Del (Jonah Ray of Saul of the
Mole Men, Mama's Boy, Trip Tank and MST3K: The Return) and
bride-to-be Sue (Kelly Vrooman of Sunny Side Up, The Chica
Show, Rekindled and Junk Drawer Magic Adventures) are
relaxing in the very Honey Island Swamp. Yeah that swamp with the
6'3" murderous mongoloid madman that was played by a former
Jason a.k.a. Kane Hodder!!! The amusing part is seeing Tyler
Mane (Sabertooth of X-Men and Michael Myers in Zombie's
Halloween) get the Samuel L. Jackson treatment of Deep Blue
Sea. Hey kids! Here's some advice that just might save your asses!!
SPLAT!!
10 years after the first film we are
back around Honey Island Swamp, Andrew Yong, the EMT (Parry
Shen of The New Guy, Better Luck Tomorrow, Tru Calling, Rule of 3,
Hatchet, World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria and Far Cry 3)
from Hatchet III is back for the fourth film, after the gruesome
events. As the only survivor of his murderous rampage, Andrew has
become a minor celebrity but hoping to move on with his life.
Hey wait a minute, didn't Marybeth
(Danielle Harris of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers,
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, Daylight, Urban Legend,
The Wild Thornberrys, Halloween, Halloween II and Stakeland)
of the previous two films survive? Hmm, I believe she did. Where's
her endorsement deal? Nike: For fleeing ax wielding maniacs?
Once again, I am not BD Wong!
Andrew is plugging his book and life is
better but not exactly champagne and caviar. More like beer and
pizza money. Andrew is a little pissed about the daytime show that
his ex-wife hosts...yeah awkward. His publicist Kathleen (the
vivacious Felissa Rose of Sleepaway Camp, Nikos the Impaler,
Zombiegeddon, Slaughter Party, Satan's Playground, Dead and Gone,
Return to Sleepaway Camp, Silent Night, Zombie Night and Camp Dread)
assures him he rocked the house.
Nerdy fan girl Chloe (Katie Booth
of Unstrung, Demon Gate, Tell Me How I Die and Victor Crowley)
is at the convention for said book signing wanting to do X-rated
carnal acts with Andrew while announcing that to her boyfriend,
doofus emo Alex (Chase Williamson of John Dies at the End,
Sparks, Video Game High School, SiREN, and Camera Obscura)
who seems less cool about this trek. Can't ever imagine why.
Apparently they are trying to pitch directing in a Horror film about
the Victor Crowley murders.
Kathleen drops the bomb on Real Crime
Stories wanting to fly him out to the very same swamp, exclusive,
cash in on the 10th year anniversary and he makes an ass
load of money. By that, I am talking a million clams.
Subtitles of DooOooOom!!!
The film crew is sadly part of his
ex-wife Sabrina (Krystal Joy Brown of Castle, Law & Order:
Special Victims Unit, Englishman in L.A.: The Movie and She-Ra and
the Princesses of Power) is determined to milk as much as she
can out of his worth. Sound guy Austin (Brian Quinn of Vulgar,
The Little Slutty Mermaid, The Tenderloins, Jay and Silent Bob's
Super Groovy Cartoon Movie and 12 Monkeys) Videographer
Casey (the lovely Tiffany Shepis of Citizen Toxie: The Toxic
Avenger IV, Bundy, Death Factory, Scarecrow, Bloody Murder 2: Closing
Camp, Dead Scared, Dorm of the Dead and Hoodoo for Voodoo)
and makeup artist Jay (Tezz Yancey of The Bewitching, Heroes,
Dice, Semi-Famous and Victor Crowley). SPOILERS!!! Yeah,
pretty sure the crew would feed Sabrina to the nearest gator.
Naturally our young Indie film crew are
pesky kids...that are ressurecting our great big mongoloid dunder
head of death. Dammit pesky kids!! You don't read from the book,
you do not get high, fool around in the woods and you STAY OFF THE
DAMN MOORS!!!!
So naturally the plot device um I mean
plane falls out of the sky. The creature rises from his watery grave
to do harm. The only one with an inkling of common sense, Andrew is
getting the third degree from all our panicked plane crash victims.
Liar, accused murderer, psychopath and so on. Andrew, toss them all
out and let Crowley have his way with them. Easy peasy.
Trapped in the plane, our hopeless
victims are deciding whether or not to leave the plane.
Gross? Oh that is putting it mildly.
Let's just say like the rest of this series, this is not for the
faint of heart, those with tender tummies and DEFINITELY NOT for the
kids. You listening this time, parents?? I am not having a
Hatchet repeat, thank you very much.
Epinions reviews are gone yes, but I had
parents losing their damn minds swearing profusely at me for a R
rated film. Yeah that's balanced. Next you'll tell me it's all
Samuel L Jackson's fault.
Regardless of that route altering rant
there, this is exactly what you expect from director/writer Adam
Green. Used an existing set to center most of the kills around.
They were graphic and well done. The film had plenty of ridiculous
moments and I did laugh in parts we civilized people aren't suppose
to. So Hatchet fans it is a decent gore fest.
Welcome back for Day 4 of the Week
starring the lovely and talented Felissa Rose. Now this time around
it is going to sound like a complaint when in fact, it is merely an
observation. We all know that the Hollywood remake, re-imagining and
reboots are a happening and a lot of folks want you to notice it
primarily around dramas, comedies and westerns. That being said,
horror gets this so often that it is a bit exhausting. Today's film
revolves around the reality show slasher event or "The Real
Survivor" if you will. This time though, it's kind of clever.
This is Camp Dread.
Sir, what does, "Lambs to the slaughter," mean?
Yeah I know the title just screams
Friday the 13th or Sleepaway Camp but bear with me.
Director/writer B. Harrison Smith (Camp
Dread, ZK: Elephant's Graveyard, 360 Degrees of Hell, Garlic &
Gunpowder and Death House)
tells the sordid tale of down and out B-movie director/writer
Julian Barrett (Eric Roberts of Star 80, The Pope of Greenwich
Village, Best of the Best, The Specialist, The Immortals, Doctor Who,
Justice League and Wolves of Wall Street) is clawing his way
back to main stream after a stint in the 80s with his Summer Camp
horror trilogy's money finally ran out. My guess cocaine, Ferrari
and possible a couple of divorces but this is all theory. To
recapture that glory, Barrett plans to a reality TV show starring a
bunch of misfits entitled rich kids that are in need of rehab or
honestly some jail time.
From this day forth, refer to me as "The Master".
Local sheriff Donlyn (Danielle
Harris of Halloween 4: Return of Michael Myers, Halloween 5: Revenge
of Michael Myers, The Last Boy Scout, The Wild Thornberrys, Father of
the Pride, Halloween, Halloween II, Fear Clinic, Hatchet II, Stake
Land, Hallow's Eve and See No Evil 2) takes her late father's
position as much as she can seeing the hell that man had dying of
cancer. Keeping the peace but not ruffling feathers with Barrett,
she just wants to be kept in the loop. To help wrangle the kids'
shenanigans to minimum, Barrett suckers two former co-stars of Summer
Camp, scream queen turned therapist Rachel (Felissa Rose of
Sleepaway Camp, The Night We Never Met, Nikos the Impaler, Horror,
Zombiegeddon, Dead Serious, Satan's Playground, Dead and Gone, Psycho
Sleepover, Return to Sleepaway Camp and Dahmer vs. Gacy)
and John Hill (Brian Gallagher of Who is Jose
Luck?, Kodachrome, Close-Up, Time, Miss December, Carl, 6 Degrees of
Hell, Nobody Gets Out Alive, Grand Theft Auto V and ZK: Elephant's
Graveyard)
to run these kids through a series of slasher attacks they have to
avoid and the last one left standing gets a million greenbacks.
Sweet deal, right?
Off camera, Eric Roberts is mooning her.
But
what if even the reality TV show is a hoax as well and Barrett is
using the footage to make another Summer Camp sequel without the
kids' knowledge? To be honest, most of the characters should be
bound to boards, give shallow cuts to bleed out and be dropped by a
helicopter into shark infested waters but that is also the
one-dimensional creation of them. In fact, the only one of them
Novak (Joe Raffa of The Play-Station Killed the
Puppet, Close-Up, 6 Degrees of Hell, Socia Media Misfits, Camp Dread,
ZK: Elephant's Graveyard and Booted)
has any real molding and Raffa runs with it. Aside
from Roberts, Harris and Rose I found the younger cast a little hard
to take in.
Will
the kids die out one by one? Will Felissa pick up an ax and deal
with the killer? Will Danielle Harris give the killer the Hatchet
treatment?
A
lot of nods to at least 3 different slasher films that really brought
the duplicates to light in the 1980s as we have Felissa
Rose
(Angela of Sleepaway Camp)
in the Summer Camp series, Gallagher's character name is John Hill a
hybrid of Halloween's writer/director/composurer John
Carpenter
and producer Debra
Hill
and the oh so subtle naming of Adrienne reference to Adrienne
King
who played Alice in Friday
the 13th.
Bottom line? Not a bad flick. Decent gore gags, the pacing is
smooth and not rushed but with the current stream of horror you
really don't feel bad for the characters getting gacked. Oh no, the
horrid bitch of the group died...so tragic.
Eric Roberts seems a
bit detached from this role but still gives a good performance and I
love how Felissa is perky and cheery. That cracked me up. A
decent cast, a few twists and admittedly a few tropes of rattling
doorknobs and snapping sticks out in the woods but those are camper
slasher needs dammit. At the end of it, you have a good product
using some 80s cliches trying to give that throwback feel but at the
same time attempting to be its own.
Welcome again back to the week. Yeah
it is odd to being viewing this in February when clearly this is a
Christmas tale but hey it happens. A story of life in L.A. A torrid
tale of two cops partnered with each for years and one of them is
diddling the others wife. Oh yeah and there are zombies. This
is Silent Night Zombie Night.
Hehe I beefed in the car twice.
From the title I just assumed Ricky or
Billy of Silent Night, Deadly Night rose from the dead to "Punish!"
but turns out I am wrong. Seriously though this flick is less three
minutes in and we already have had three zombie attacks, two
on-screen and one off so Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, man!?! Officers
Frank Talbot (Jack Forcinito of Blackbelt, Night Trap, Bitter
Vengeance, As Good as Dead, Breath of Hate and Jurassic City)
and Nash Jackson (Andy Hopper of Black Tie Nights, Girl on a
Bed, Cloud Seven, Saint Francis, Shining On, CSI: NY and Political
Disasters) both with enough tropes in their back pocket find
themselves dealing with a legion of undead spreading rather quickly
leaving them trapped with the woman they love, Frank's wife Sarah
(Nadine Stenovitch of Heaven,Another World, Nash Bridges,
Roadkiller, The Opponent, Beacon Hill, Beowulf and Open House).
Yes it's the old standing of cheating wife with best friend, being
professional on the job while cornered to hash out their zany
differences...with zombies.
Eh, probably healthier than Church's fried chicken.
Nash got injured in the attack, not
sure if the gunshot or a zombie bite occurred but Frank pissed off at
the situation goes out and blasts a zombie with a twelve
gauge...basically ringing the dinner bell. Dude, not watching The
Walking Dead or Z-Nation? At any rate, Frank further ensures the
salivation of zombie taste buds as they work around the apartment
trying to get inside to the tender vittles. "But Jake, I
thought you said this was Felissa Rose Week?!" Take it easy, Mr/Mrs shouty, we're getting there.
With a bit of exposition on the failing
marriage, misinterpretation of a friend's intentions and so on, Frank
hits on the idea of odor repellent via hunting formula. IDJIT!
They're not deer! Frank seems too eager to bash civilians with a
baseball bat which clearly means it may be time for a sensitivity
awareness workshop. Homeowner Jeffery Hannigan (Lew Temple of
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Waitress, Halloween,
Rango, Lawless, The Walking Dead, The Lone Ranger and House of
Forbidden Secrets) is holed up in his attic with a pistol,
water, food and a slighly injured son. No clue where the wife is at
all. Frank accidentally caps Nash and just left him at Jeffery's.
Dude, crappy neighbor.
Yeah it beats Zack Synder's nonsense.
Frank and Sarah woke up to be visited
by I thought Shocking Dark's Megaforce but it would appear to be NRA
enthusiasts Paul Irwin (Vernon Wells of The Road Warrior, Weird
Science, Commando, Innerspace, Darksiders, Drop Dead Gorgeous,
100,000 Zombie Heads, Throwback and Jurassic City) and the
top billed lady Elsa Lansing (Felissa Rose of Sleepaway Camp,
The Night We Never Met, Nikos the Impaler, Horror, Zombiegeddon, Dead
Serious, Satan's Playground, Dead and Gone, Psycho Sleepover, Return
to Sleepaway Camp and Dahmer vs. Gacy). Not that I am not
glad to see some veteran bad asses but an hour into the film and
FINALLY we see this dynamic duo is a bit of a wait. With the plan
of dealing with more zombies and scooping up Jeffery that plan goes
all to hell leaving Elsa running back to Nash's pad. Jeffery got
nipped in the face gives Nash his pistol after a long winded speech
of missing family.
Will Frank and Nash hash things out?
Can Elsa and Sarah pull a zombie slayer duo off?
Big problem with Vernon Wells and
Felissa Rose being glorified cameos but I guess the love triangle was
supposed to be the pivotal standing on the zombie story. The CGI
gun shots, blood splatters and gallons of Karo syrup is effective in
cost saving but looks a bit cheesy on film stock digital or
otherwise. Maybe if you knock it down to 16mm and then convert to
35mm digital and then add the effects it would work easier.
Nadine Stenovitch's performance of a
woman torn between two guys is believable but Andy Hopper's passive
aggressive character was a bit annoying. No fault to the actor, I
just hate that particular trope. Ambivalence is what the final
response to the film. Not a bad movie but it won't be a memorable
one either. Sorry gang but that is my read through. Also I really
wanted to see Felissa got sickhouse with a machete or hand axe, blow
stray hairs out of her eye and say something to the effect, "You
coming along?" Would have sold it for me.
Welcome back for Day 2 of Felissa
Rose Week. Well it's always that time when you have to plan out and
execute a family trip. Siblings kicking the back of your seat, a
rousing game of "Stop Touching Me" and at least one kid
always gets queasy. What could be safer and more fun that a trip
to...Jersey? Howzabout a legend of darkness hidden with in the
forest of Pine Barrens hell bent to do everything and everyone in?
This is Satan's Playground.
Tellin' ya Felissa, it was the woods themselves.
Written and directed by Dante
Tomaselli (Desecration, Horror, Satan's Playground and
Torture Chamber) tells the tale of folklore of Mother Leeds.
Legend has it she birthed 12 children and found herself once again
pregnant for the thirteenth time convinced the child would be the
Devil. Born on a stormy night the child would appear normal but
morphed into a creature with the hooves and head of a goat, wings of
a bat and a forked tail. As it slew its midwife before up, up the
chimney it went and out in the Pine Barrens. Thus the Jersey Devil
was made. Later he went on to make a series of successful vacuum
cleaners. Our story opens as it always should. With a hooker
getting dumped into the woods to fend for herself. Hmm, maybe not
the best thing in the world but hey gotta start the body count
somewhere.
Um Woods? I got some nice sex here if you let me live.
Parents Donna ( Felissa Rose of
Taken Alive, Bloodhounds II, Dinner and Driving, Daybreak, Nikos the
Impaler, Zombiegeddon, The Drone Virus and Satan's Playground)
and Frank Bruno (Salvatore Paul Piro of Joe's Apartment,
Sleepers, Night Falls on Manhattan, Mob Queen, Godzilla, Kill or Be
Killed and Desecration)decide a trip into Pine Barrens is the
place for their autistic son Sean (Danny Lopes of Desecration,
Nikos the Impaler, Horror, Satan's Playground, Chicken Pox, The
Locals and Torture Chamber). I guess that stretch in Wrong
Turn in Tennessee was too rural...and hillbilly mutated mongoloid
infested.
We don't get many city folk around these here parts.
As the Brunos make their way to the
forest traveling with sister Paula (Ellen Sandweiss of Within
the Woods, The Evil Dead, Speedbag, Satan's Playground, My Name is
Bruce, Brutal Massacre: A Comedy, The Dread and Dangerous Women)
and new baby Anthony, the car breaks down leaving them stranded on
the side of the road and shockingly enough no Triple A in sight.
Frank being the good guy and alpha male in this scenario votes to
trek ahead on foot to get help when he encounters the house of Mrs.
Leeds (Irma St. Paule of Guiding Light, The Oracle, Psychos in
Love, The Cemetery Club, The Saint of Fort Washington, Thinner and
Second Best)herself.
Okay my own opinion, this house is a
dilapidated and rickety looking shabby shack that says to me either,
"We're a family of cannibals or you will need a tetanus shot just
from looking at our house." In either case, not warm, cuddly
and inviting. Mrs. Leeds lives at home with her darling mute
daughter Judy (Christie Sanford of Desecration, Horror,
Brooklyn Bound, Pigs, Winter of Frozen Dreams and The Ascension)
and creeper son umm no name given. (Edwin Neal of Gatchaman,
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Future-Kill, Good Girl, Bad Girl, JFK,
Wing Commander II: Vengeance of the Kilrathi, City Hunter, Devilman
Lady, Queen Emeraldas, Sakura Wars and Zombiegeddon)
Will the Brunos make it out alive??
What is flittering around through the trees?? If there is a witch,
will there be a large feline and an armoire?
Some interesting trivia as this is
Ellen Sandweiss's first feature appearance since The Evil Dead
back in 1981. Filmed in 16mm you get the vibe that Tomaselli is a
huge fan of Argento, Fulci and Mario Bava with the extreme close ups
on the eyes telling the story with a hint of Raimi for Evil Woods occurring.
Some great handheld, some shaky cam POV
and even some decent crane if not improvised cherry picker shots so
you know he is versed with camera work. The mood is eerie, the pace
is not lagging and the action is pretty impressive. The tone of the
overall film is pretty damn creepy just with the exposition.
Sandweiss and Rose both on a subconscious level seem to know that
darkness awaits them all. Just based on the Bobcat station wagon
and region they were shooting in, you could in fact made this look
like pure 80s horror film. Thanks to the actors you feel the two
family dynamics of a long car trip to having the family down the way
that NO ONE talks to and not even the mailman won't go there.
Rounding out the film at an hour and 21 minutes this is pretty good
and creepy. Most of this film is shot at night and it is wonderfully
lit. Not so much you can make out the work lamps spread through the forest (Talking
to you, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation) but
just enough to take advantage of the chill in autumn and capture
breath and some fog between the trees. Makes me wonder if
Tomaselli had dry ice placed around because it is that fearful and
mysterious with the proper extras. So if you like the local legends
and dark tales, I would recommend this one. Oh yes I forgot, no
there is no nudity perv male readers. Get over it.
Psst, Frank farted. Big time. Crack a window please.
Howdy all and welcome to the week.
After touching base with the actress plugging actor/writer/director
Sean Whalen's(Waterworld, Twister, Suicide Kings, Idle
Hands, Python, Drive Thru and Hatchet III) project for
IndieGoGo fundraiser of Crust, a man and his sock monster. Now how
can you walk away from something that sounds that insane? That being
said, I made a bold statement to said actress that I need to do a
week for her films. We are doing a Felissa Rose Week. This is
Slaughter Party.
Say...do I need a Tic-Tac?
Now keep in mind this is a Troma
Studios creation sooooo.... I am hoping this doesn't hit Toxie
territory. I have been pretty hard on Lloyd Kaufman and yeah I am
not writing/directing or producing so I will tone down the stupid
remarks. Hopefully have some fun remarks. We open with a three
chord power slap thrash metal band and as soon as two dudes and a
dwarf have whimsical jaunty music following them. No offense to the
dwarf gentleman Mighty Mike Murga but I see one on film, my
brain immediately goes to Bloodsucking Freaks or The Sinful
Dwarf Z-grade exploitation films. Not sure why.
Looks like what we have a day to dismember....*Who CSI Theme*
They give a bit of exposition on this
area of having an escaped lunatic dwelling in this cave in a remote
region of desert and clearly they need to explore it Scooby Doo
style. I was waiting for them to split up next or twist an ankle.
What? Can only girls and women twist their ankle from a lumbering
slow maniac or monster? So sexist. Looking a wee bit like Bronson
Caves...again. A mad scientist (Ford Austin of Shank's Mare,
Creepies 2, Cerebral Print: The Secret Files and Terminal)
slaughters doofus 1 and 2 leaving the dwarf tied up and cackles like
Spoony's Doctor Insano while...violating the Dwarf Craig.
Yup, flash forward to an internet date
and well...I'm not sure I even want to explain how messed up Craig is
now but he offs the date. We'll leave it at that.
I guess he snuck into another blonde's
apartment and stabbed and pulled a mad scientist on her too. No real
rhyme or reason, he's just crazy and blood thirsty now. Three
weeks later. A title card told me so, Blond #2 was known as Mel
(Annmarie Lynn Gracey of Desert of Death, Absolute Horror,
Attitude for Destruction, Reptisaurus and Black Russian) is
mourned by sister Tara (Felissa Rose of Taken Alive,
Bloodhounds II, Dinner and Driving, Daybreak, Nikos the Impaler,
Zombiegeddon, The Drone Virus and Satan's Playground ) while
her best friend Kerri (Sarah
Rosenberg of Foxfire, The Skin Horse, Shooting Nick, Two Fisted, Worn
Like a Tattoo and Stray) telling her to get her ass out of
her house and live a little...perhaps too little
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA...ahem...moving on.
Well the camera man was not shy.
So they are off to party in only
enough the insane doctor's desert lands which means stripping down to
bikinis. Detectives Cage (Ric Drasin of Ben, Flashfire, The
Kid with X-ray Eyes, Active Stealth, Mach 2, Prank Attack and AWF
Throwdown) and Donovan (Adult Actor Seymore Butts of
Seymore Butts Swings, Seymore Butts: In the Love Shack, Bustin' Out
My Best, Backdoor to Buttsville Gluteus to the Maximus, Assgasms and
Tushy Girls Live) are hot on the case of two dismembered
blondes...cuz California needs more of those I guess.
Can Craig the now knife wielding dwarf
but put to a stop?? Is the mad scientist lurking about?? Will there
be jiggly boobies??
Tad bit of trivia for those still
reading and I loathe Urban Dictionary yet again, a slaughter party
meets a festive get together were there are more females than males
so clearly folks getting laid or a mass orgy. FYI, do not traipse
through Urban Dictionary. You will be forever changed and NOT for
the better.
Felissa Rose gives this goofy script a
serious performance, Scream Queen Brinke Stevens (Private
School, Slumber Party Massacre, Sole Survivor, Fatal Games, Sorority
Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Cheerleader Massacre)makes an appearance and I am still snickering at Lloyd
Kauffman's kill all the midgets rant. The plot is ridiculous, the
sound editor needs to be fired...out of a cannon. The killer midget
idea was fun but poorly executed. They just didn't go far enough for
this route and it felt more offensive than funny and dark. Ron
Jeremy is in this as well being cheesy and silly and frankly about
the only thing to keep me even watching this. Director Fred
Rosenberg's directorial debut overall flopped but again the
starting of this goes to the writer, which is also Fred Rosenberg.
Potentially messed up story just lost
in bad sound editing, sub plots that really went nowhere and using
Brinke and Ron as cameos. Yeah I had to put on close captioning
because I could barely hear the actors period. With implied
lesbianism, pot smoking and typical boozing this entire terrifying
film was shot in the hell loop of about 2 in the afternoon.
Howdy all and brace yourselves, for we
are about to embark on the impossible. We shall journey together
through an Andreas Schnaas film. What's that? You've never heard
of this gore enthuasitic director of German horror? Well a few
highlights before we go into the fray then. Andreas Schnaas
(Violent Sh!T, Violent Sh!t 2, Violent Sh!t 3: Zombie Doom,
Violent Sh!t 4.0 Carl the Butcher Vs Axe) is a gore fanatic
but not really what you would call a well rounded director. Most of
his characters last about 15 to 20 seconds worth of dialogue hastily
thrown together and then a gore gag happens to them so this could
also be translation issues but I kinda doubt that. Now it has been
on the request of some of the readers that I tackle this guy and so I
thought his American release would be easier than anything else.
This is Nikos the Impaler a.k.a. Violent Sh!t 4 a.k.a. Nikos a.k.a.
Survival of the Dead.
I got yer Angela Baker right here!
Okay first off this was very difficult
for me to find. The local DVD shops including the fricking 5 dollar
bins didn't seem to have it. Hell, I even went to Wal-Mart and
Target to see if they had alternative title copies (Which is pretty
damn common) but no such luck. So yeah I had to Netflix this movie.
Not exactly thrilled about that but let's get on with the film
itself. Nikos (Andreas Schnaas) is a Romanian (Transylvanian
at this time) barbarian in well, hiding out in either a natural cave
or a catacomb is been persecuted and ended for his evil deeds.
Apparently, a thousand years ago raping and pillaging was frowned
upon as a bad thing. He claims he will rise again like some D&D
wizard/warrior then flails about in his own entrails.
The armor is a bit tight in the crotch. Just saying.
Cut to Professor Frank Heller (Joe
Zaso of 5 Dead on the Crimson Canvas, The Bloody Ape, Addicted to
Murder 3: Blood Lust, Rage of the Werewolf, Demonium and Virus X)
giving a riveting lecture to his students about this very timeline,
its occupants and the general behavior of the time. The lovely
fellow professor Sandra Kane ( Felissa Rose of Taken Alive,
Bloodhounds II, Dinner and Driving, Daybreak, Nikos the Impaler,
Zombiegeddon, The Drone Virus and Satan's Playground)
and Frank having been dating and dragging her to Violent
Sh!t 3: Infantry of Doom
is a date movie!?! No seriously, she says if I can handle that I can
handle an art exhibit of ancient Romanian butchery and violence.
Grandma Rotty!?! NOoOoOoOoOOooo!!!!
Observing an exhibit of Romanian art
and ancient tapestries Daisy (Brenda Abbandandolo of Nikos the
Impaler and Under Surveillance) has the horrible task of
being the know-it-all expert in this ancient history and given some
of the doofiest lines imaginable. We have a stereotypical
conservative gay couple disgusted at the the rending and depictions
of violence on the canvas that I got a slight chuckle out of that.
This film is 2003 so really there are ways of people watching and
observing a culture you know NEXT TO NOTHING about. Thank you
writer Ted Geoghegan (Demonium, Barricade, Don't Wake
the Dead, Sweatshot and The Disco Exorcist) you insensitive
wanker. Moving on, this drags a bit until a botched attempt to
steal some of the antiquities results in a fellow getting his carotid artery opened up and dribbling all over the mask of the
late Nikos and viola! Instant resurrection in full armor. He then
proceeds to waste the museum patrons and stays in the damn place for
more than an hour!!!
He finally journeys out into the
streets of New York and yeah that could draw attention one would
think. Smashing up a cab with his...really painful CGI effects and
then bringing characters from other Schnaas films to life he conjures
up a succubus, Hitler, ninjas and Eva Braun?? Nikos trashes a
lesbian bar, a movie theater and a video store. Hmm, art mimicking
life?? A metaphor? NAH!!!
Will Nikos be stopped!?! Can Frank and
Sandra bring Nikos down?? Is this Bat Gag ever get tiresome??
Felissa delivers the epic line after
seeing the impossible made possible "Ninjas, sure. Why the f*ck
not."
This film is intended to be gore gags
and a somewhat developed story. It brings a bit of T&A courtesy
of soft core erotica horror and sci-fi actress Darian Caine
(Mistress Frankenstein, Gladiator Eroticvs: The Lesbian
Warriors and Lust for Dracula) decapitations, gutting and
mutilations that well...kinda lack believably but so did a similar lumbering undead guy in the form of Jason Vorhees via Friday
the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan. The
difference there is they didn't take their flick so damn seriously,
they had better lighting and probably didn't shoot on 16 mm and
expect digital to clean that all up. The film looks grainy and like
a daily print. Thank God the boom mic, shotgun mic on the camera and
the personal mics were functioning or I wouldn't have heard the lines
dubbed or otherwise.
Maybe it was my copy but I think they
may all look this way. I did laugh seeing cameos of Troma's own
Debbie Rochon and Lloyd
Kaufman. Interesting how our
Romanian barbarian is followed around the streets in his bloody
warpath by death metal music as a personal soundtrack. This is a
goofy gorefest and if that is up your alley then have at it. It is
certainly not the worse movie I have sat through so...there's that.
