Day of the Dead: Bloodline

Yeah, I noticed I cannot get away from the title or subtitle Bloodline as well. So back again and I have gotten a fair amount of requests for my peepers to peruse this putrid pick.  Oh it can't be that bad.  Only the second remake of the same name for the 1985 Day of the Dead.  The previous occurred in 2008, had a vegan vampire, wasted Ving Rhames and lots of tedious moments of derp. Will the 2018 remake in story line prove better?   Let's look.   This is Day of the Dead: Bloodline

AHHH! NO HICKIES!!!

Med Student Zoe (Sophie Skelton of Doctors, Foyle's War, Casualty, Blackbird, Outlander and 211) has been invited to a kegger at her school in Whittendale University (No hell mouth, I checked.) with her friends. Yes, party and screw in a horror movie. That's never a bad idea. While grabbing more beer from the morgue; One of Zoe's higher ups tells her the favorite donor has arrived. Oh lovely, raper's blood has the highest concentration of antibodies so young soon to be doctor must deal with him. Yup no need to spare any security to watch this guy. Guess you need to swear out a written complaint against a guy before taken seriously.

Creeper blood donor, Rapey McGuffin Max (Jonathan Schaech of That Thing You Do!, If You Only Knew, The Foresaken, Road House 2, Prom Night, Quarantine, Laid to Rest, Blue Bloods and Legends of Tomorrow) tries to get fleshy with Zoe but corpus coitus interruptus or plot device zombie bites his throat.  Zoe beats cheeks to go warn everyone at the party, only to find the party's over and zombies have invaded.   She flees out through the window.  Actually opening it and not crashing through it to open radial and femoral arteries.  Kudos!

The horde of the undead get a nifty term as they are Rotters.   That's nice.   Not only have these people lost any semblance of who they were now you are just calling them names.  Was walkers too on the nose?

Five year later, we have the whole underground bunker storyline, finding a cure this time for zombification and more jump scares than needed. You can comfortably pass a bowling ball out your anus the amount of jump scares needed for most of these flicks. Sorry, sorry. Old habits. Must remain objective.

Some enchanted eeeeevening!!

Hiding out at a bunker up the ridge of High Rock Emergency Bunker and honestly this is just giving an intro before the bizarre living arrangements.  Ran by Lieutenant Salazar (Jeff Gum of The Smell of Success, Breakout Kings, Bleak, Turn Around Jake and Vincent N Roxxy) who isn't Captain Rhodes by a long shot.  Seriously, you can reason with this dude.  Rhodes would just execute people on the spot so you had to tread on eggshells with that cat.

Zoe and Elyse (Shari Watson of The Wash, Ali, A Day in the Life, Dirty South, 211 and Security) barely have enough medical training for all the ouchies they must attend to, plus viral outbreaks are still a thing in zombie world and require plot device, Uh I mean vaccine for one of the kids of the bunker.  Pneumonia can kill people and Salazar is just of the mindset of, "Isolate the girl."  The bunker is a closed containment.   Unless meds are found, they would have to abandon base and leave those sick to DIE.  Sending a small, armed team in LOUD ASS hummers.   El Caminos equipped with clown horns, blaring Slayer and firing off shotguns might be a tad more subtle.

Just from a bio-hazard standing, they really need to clear some of those dead they have already capped.  Rotten bodies less than 50 yards from your crops?? That can't be good.

With a field trip back to Whittendale University, the team must find the meds and find something along the way.   Creeper Max as a zed, yet not.  Hmm, he still retains some memory as a person...a creeper person but a person nonetheless.

Convinced in creating a cure from Max's blood, Zoe puts the whole compound in danger with the mere hope of a better tomorrow.

A few points about this movie and yes I feel my mom's quote is rather valid. " Yes, zombie movies need more rapes so says the producer assholes. "  I find myself agreeing every time.   Aside from the crux of it necessary for a rape revenge story, it is tedious to see in every apocalypse film, dark sci-fi and planet ender.  Just raises the lack of conscious in film.   Look, you already have a swarming entity making a joint effort to turn you into people buffet, must we have a typical scumbag response to "the rules no longer apply," as well?

The practical gore gags injunction with the CGI blood and practical bladders is well balanced. Excellent handheld steady cams, good fixed camera angles and decent suspense music pouring in, setting the tone.  

 With a budget of 8 million and shot in Bulgaria, this is the essence of Day of the Dead without Salazar really slipping into Rhodes' territory.  You don't see a fraction of the military vs civvies from the original.   Guess they couldn't find a dude as cold as Joe Pilato's portrayal or they wanted to humanize the military.   God forbid, right?

That being said, this is filled with the current zombie tropes of fast paced zombies, humans constantly arguing GIVING AWAY their positions so no noise discipline and not enough muzzle discipline or for that matter, melee weapons instead of gunplay.

It can also be argued that Zoe's looking to save humanity means leaping out of her comfort zone, dealing with what is left of Max is actually decent story telling. It just wasn't executed to the levels it could have been. Better than the 2008 version but yes, it has its flaws.

Segregation is still rude, folks.

The Punisher

Okay the week has gone by. I have been away as I was tending to errands on foot so yeah a bit damn exhausted. Moving on, the following write-up will be deemed spoiler country for those that have not seen Season 2 of Daredevil. So for those of you that have not experienced this, scram. Seriously, you don't want to be drenched in spoilers. For those of you that are aware of Season 2, the highlights was Wilson Fisk in prison, the Hand making its play for New York, an old flame Elektra putting her moves on Daredevil and oh yeah, the scene stealer of that season, Frank Castle, a.k.a. The Punisher got started up on his one man war. This is The Punisher.

You sayin' you didn't like The Walking Dead?

Out of the ashes of Season 2 of Daredevil, Frank Castle (Jon Bernthal of The Class, Day Zero, Eastwick, The Walking Dead, The Wolf of Wall Street, Daredevil and Robot Chicken) is presumed dead after the explosion on the docks sinking a tanker. Yeah that old chestnut. When in fact, he's...well he's working demolition.   Eating lunch, swinging a big ass hammer (sledge not Mjolnir, that's Thor) and trying to burn through his day without remembering he has no home, wife and kids to go to.

With the help of his old Marine recon buddy, Curtis (Jason R. Moore of Kings, The Unusuals, A Lonely Place for Dying, Wed Locked and The Punisher) Frank is under an alias and trying to piece his life back until...he gets tracked or stalked if you will. Turns out Castle has a fan or accurate to say, an admirer in a similar boat. Going by the name Micro, David Lieberman (Ebon Moss-Bachrach of Damages, Higher Ground, Come Out and Play, The Last Ship, Girls, The Punisher and The Big Take) is a NSA analyst that found something he shouldn't have and faked his death to spare his family. With a wife, son and daughter to protect, Micro has kept his distance from them for their very lives.

With ranking government officials trying to keep a lid of an illegal black ops funded by the selling of heroin, this all reeks of bad.   Mind you, a CIA black ops ran on heroin shipments sounds a bit Vietnam?  Yeah, I did make that connection easily.

What? I'm an equal character and not just eye candy?

Homeland Security Special Agent Dinah Madani (Amber Rose Revah of From Paris with Love, Everywhere and Nowhere, The Bible, What Remains, Son of God, Silent Witness, Emerald City and The Punisher) lost a partner in the Middle East where this ops was happening and has yet to find any new information. While this is occurring, people are getting shot and killed or quietly removed, as someone in a position of authority is covering his ass from a massive FUBAR of mission that blew up in his face.

Micro finds Castle, threatens to leak to the world he is still alive if he doesn't play ball with him and get back on his war on crime. Yeah kids, unlike our government, Frank's war is bloody and wipes out cartels, gangs, drug kingpins and a myriad of other such criminals.  Micro is showing him how to do this a bit smarter.   Less leveling a city block with a LAW rocket and more stealth and cunning that he is completely capable doing. They are trying to piece together this Middle East mess by finding clues and people connected to it before our man in the shadows gets them.

That may trump boomstick?

Now I know the hard core Punisher fans will not fully agree with me but yeah I think Jon has done an amazing job with the character. Any built guy that can look menacing can play the badass antihero but Bernthal gets to play the grieving widower, the survivor, the badass and the complex man this being is.

Yes, yes they did away with the Vietnam era storyline because honestly a six tour vet would be in his late 70s now and yes Micro isn't a CIA analyst like in the comics. Get over it or don't.

Now we get to some spoilers. Personally I absolutely love that Billy Russo isn't some mob thug pretty boy but actually a fellow soldier that bled and fought alongside Frank. It really makes a greater impact than one mob guy in on the shoot Frank's wife and kids story-line. Instead, we have two soldiers, brothers-in-arms trying to get back to normal life after their tours. Both realize they will never be the men they were and have to be the men that were molded into.

FYI parents, this is bloody, violent and yes there will be colorful metaphors. Or swearing like sailors if you prefer. It's your judgement call on sharing this with the kiddies.

Once again, this series follows its Netflix predecessors in the same MCU timeline and series but as we all knew it was going to be guns blazing, skulls cracking and blades gutting. C'mon, it's the fricking Punisher for crying out loud!

Seeing some familar faces like Deborah Ann Woll reprising Karen Page, C. Thomas Howell, Mary Elizabeth Mastranto and Rob Morgan coming back as Turk. Seriously, I almost feel bad for Turk. Daredevil has smacked him around, Cage has bounced him like a tennis ball but Castle? Yeesh, Castle will probably feed him his own balls.

After seeing the series all the way through, I honestly hope for a continuation, but does Frank have that great of luck? We'll just have to wait and see. 

Next time on Taxi Cab Confessionals...

Victor Crowley

What's this? Parry Shen playing the same character twice? My God it can happen. Hey folks I am back and yes we are heading down the dark path of Horror once more. I know I am slowly gaining the reputation of doing just Horror reviews and hey, toss a message on FB or the blog and give me ideas what you want me to check out. Honestly though, you expect me to pass up on Felissa Rose and Tiffany Shepis slugging it out with a crazy monster of a man? Afraid not.

This is Victor Crowley.

Oh Jonah, keeping an eye out for us.

We get a flashback of a couple spooning in a canoe in the sixties. Were Del (Jonah Ray of Saul of the Mole Men, Mama's Boy, Trip Tank and MST3K: The Return) and bride-to-be Sue (Kelly Vrooman of Sunny Side Up, The Chica Show, Rekindled and Junk Drawer Magic Adventures) are relaxing in the very Honey Island Swamp. Yeah that swamp with the 6'3" murderous mongoloid madman that was played by a former Jason a.k.a. Kane Hodder!!! The amusing part is seeing Tyler Mane (Sabertooth of X-Men and Michael Myers in Zombie's Halloween) get the Samuel L. Jackson treatment of Deep Blue Sea. Hey kids! Here's some advice that just might save your asses!! SPLAT!!

10 years after the first film we are back around Honey Island Swamp, Andrew Yong, the EMT (Parry Shen of The New Guy, Better Luck Tomorrow, Tru Calling, Rule of 3, Hatchet, World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria and Far Cry 3) from Hatchet III is back for the fourth film, after the gruesome events. As the only survivor of his murderous rampage, Andrew has become a minor celebrity but hoping to move on with his life.

Hey wait a minute, didn't Marybeth (Danielle Harris of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, Daylight, Urban Legend, The Wild Thornberrys, Halloween, Halloween II and Stakeland) of the previous two films survive? Hmm, I believe she did. Where's her endorsement deal? Nike: For fleeing ax wielding maniacs?

Once again, I am not BD Wong!

Andrew is plugging his book and life is better but not exactly champagne and caviar. More like beer and pizza money. Andrew is a little pissed about the daytime show that his ex-wife hosts...yeah awkward. His publicist Kathleen (the vivacious Felissa Rose of Sleepaway Camp, Nikos the Impaler, Zombiegeddon, Slaughter Party, Satan's Playground, Dead and Gone, Return to Sleepaway Camp, Silent Night, Zombie Night and Camp Dread) assures him he rocked the house.

Nerdy fan girl Chloe (Katie Booth of Unstrung, Demon Gate, Tell Me How I Die and Victor Crowley) is at the convention for said book signing wanting to do X-rated carnal acts with Andrew while announcing that to her boyfriend, doofus emo Alex (Chase Williamson of John Dies at the End, Sparks, Video Game High School, SiREN, and Camera Obscura) who seems less cool about this trek. Can't ever imagine why. Apparently they are trying to pitch directing in a Horror film about the Victor Crowley murders.

Kathleen drops the bomb on Real Crime Stories wanting to fly him out to the very same swamp, exclusive, cash in on the 10^th year anniversary and he makes an ass load of money. By that, I am talking a million clams.

Subtitles of DooOooOom!!!

The film crew is sadly part of his ex-wife Sabrina (Krystal Joy Brown of Castle, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Englishman in L.A.: The Movie and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) is determined to milk as much as she can out of his worth. Sound guy Austin (Brian Quinn of Vulgar, The Little Slutty Mermaid, The Tenderloins, Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie and 12 Monkeys) Videographer Casey (the lovely Tiffany Shepis of Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV, Bundy, Death Factory, Scarecrow, Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp, Dead Scared, Dorm of the Dead and Hoodoo for Voodoo) and makeup artist Jay (Tezz Yancey of The Bewitching, Heroes, Dice, Semi-Famous and Victor Crowley). SPOILERS!!! Yeah, pretty sure the crew would feed Sabrina to the nearest gator.

Naturally our young Indie film crew are pesky kids...that are ressurecting our great big mongoloid dunder head of death. Dammit pesky kids!! You don't read from the book, you do not get high, fool around in the woods and you STAY OFF THE DAMN MOORS!!!!

So naturally the plot device um I mean plane falls out of the sky. The creature rises from his watery grave to do harm. The only one with an inkling of common sense, Andrew is getting the third degree from all our panicked plane crash victims. Liar, accused murderer, psychopath and so on. Andrew, toss them all out and let Crowley have his way with them. Easy peasy.

Trapped in the plane, our hopeless victims are deciding whether or not to leave the plane.

Gross? Oh that is putting it mildly. Let's just say like the rest of this series, this is not for the faint of heart, those with tender tummies and DEFINITELY NOT for the kids. You listening this time, parents?? I am not having a Hatchet repeat, thank you very much.

Epinions reviews are gone yes, but I had parents losing their damn minds swearing profusely at me for a R rated film. Yeah that's balanced. Next you'll tell me it's all Samuel L Jackson's fault.

Regardless of that route altering rant there, this is exactly what you expect from director/writer Adam Green.   Used an existing set to center most of the kills around.  They were graphic and well done. The film had plenty of ridiculous moments and I did laugh in parts we civilized people aren't suppose to. So Hatchet fans it is a decent gore fest.

Yeesh, even a mother couldn't love that mug.

Luke Cage Season 2

He's bad, he's black and he's back baybees!!!  No I am not talking about myself.   Dear God I am pale as an albino.  Talking about Mike Colter's Luke Cage.  This is Luke Cage Season 2.

After the events of the Defenders and dealing with the Hand, Luke Cage (Mike Colter of The Good Wife, Jessica Jones, Agent X, Luke Cage, The Defenders and Girls Trip) returns to Harlem to rebuild Pop's barber shop and bring some peace to the neighborhood.

Yeah, you got an adult chair for me to sit in?

With Diamondback still missing and Cottonmouth enjoying his swan dive through a window, former Councilwoman Mariah Dillard (Alfie Woodard of Down in the Delta, Passion Fish, Star Trek: First Contact, Mumford, Memphis Beat, Tru Blood and Captain America: Civil War) has her heart set on bringing her project to Harlem and restore her family name.  A tad difficult when her relationship to Shades Alvarez (Theo Rossi of Red Sands, Sons of Anarchy, Lowriders, When the Bough Breaks and Luke Cage) is still moving guns for the business.

Mariah has vested interest in a deal that could net her millions if not hundreds of millions so she moves her "acquired" Hammer weapons to the highest bidder and brother they are hungry.

A new player in Brooklyn, Bushmaster (Mustafa Shakir of The Cavern, Daybreak, NCIS: Los Angeles, The Night Of, Quarry, Fight Your Way Out and Luke Cage) is looking to be heavy.

Okay, okay! You're cooler than Black Lightning. Jeez!

Meanwhile Detective Misty Knight (Simone Missick of A Taste of Romance, Scandal, Wayward Pines, American Koko, Luke Cage and The Defenders) has been given leave of her badge and her pension. If she takes it, of course. A bit of animosity amongst her fellow shields as her late partner was found dirty and in the late Cottonmouth's pocket.

Rand-Mitchum Enterprises has set her up with a bionic arm giving her one helluva right hook.   Dr. Claire Temple (Rosario Dawson of Men in Black II, Rent, The Rundown, Alexander, Sin City, Clerks II, Death Proof, Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Iron Fist, The Defenders and Luke Cage) and Cage are having...more than coffee and on the verge of building a real relationship.

Yes, I know you're looking down my dress.

A re-appearance of Colleen Wing (Jessica Henwick of Spirit Warriors, North by Northhamptonshire, Inspector Lewis, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, The Head Hunter, Iron Fist, The Defenders and Luke Cage) bonds with Misty, pointing out she is only a cripple if she feels like one.  Colleen furthermore tells Misty, if she didn't step in when she did that Colleen would be dead.

We got some more musical talent again, Ghostface Killah, Mobb Deep, Gregory Isaacs, Joi and my heart skipped a beat hearing Nina Simone.

Writer Cheo Hodari Coker once again delivers on some damn fine writing. Edgy, street and true to life in a comic book series. With an awesome R&B, decent Hip Hop and Rap soundtrack, it is hard to not like Season 2 as the heat got turned up. Special-Guest stars...well you'll have to see to believe.

You got sumthin' against the Yankees??

Lucio Fulci's Contraband

Hey gang. Well there are more than a few of you that have asked me when the next Rotten Reelz Reviews Video Review is coming out. I finished the script last week but I haven't gotten to any of the filming yet. That will be on tomorrow's agenda. Oh don't pout. Say, how about a Lucio Fulci movie to tide you over? This time around we are actually looking past his illustrious Horror endeavors and we are going into a crime drama. With smugglers of illegal goods, gangs and cartels, how can we go wrong? This is Contraband.

Say you look like Sean Connery.  SAY IT!

Not to be confused with the Marky Mark Walberg film in 2012. Nope, we hit the way back machine and set for 1980. Ah yes, an innocent time. Stock market manipulations, Reganomics and cocaine by the truckloads.

Starring Italian film Western and Action legend Fabio Testi (The Black Hand, Speed Driver, The Hawk and the Dove, Madman at War, Mussolini and I, Torrente 3: El protector and Sottocasa)as Luca Di Angelo. He and his brother Mickey (Enrico Maisto of Naples shoots!, Corleone, Naples, a story of love and revenge, Do Not Trust the Mafia and Fear in the City) are moving their ill gotten gains in and narrowly missed getting pinched by the local cops. What results is a decent boat chase scene and co-ordination stunts fleeing the cops. Good they outran the cops the pursuit ship had a Breda M37 heavy machine gun, belt fed so those wooden boats would have been splinters and the smugglers the contents of chunky salsa.

Automatically Luca suspects a rival gangster, Scherino(Fernando Murolo of A Man Called Magnum, Bomber, California, Three Brothers, Neapolitan Sting and Sicilian Connection) for ratting them out.

Boats...it's all fitting into place now.

Luca and Mickey express their concerns to da boss, Luigi. He tells them Mario is missing and... no wait. Sorry wrong Luigi. Luigi Perlante (Saverio Marconi of Padre Padrone, Orgo, Difendimi dalla notte, Crimes love and jealousy and Inspector Montalbano). No sooner have they expressed their concerns, one of Mickey's beloved horses is killed. Yeah equine lovers will want to skip that scene, and a fake police barricade is erected (heh heh). The faux cops proceed to gun down everyone in the car.  Mickey turned to Swiss cheese but Luca escapes. Seems almost like an homage to Coppola's Godfather when Sonny gets riddled. Fulci, tipping his hat to fellow masters of film.

Sneaking into Scherino's house, Luca almost blows him away when Scherino's men jump Luca, kick the crap out of him and tell him to bounce, claiming no part in the death of his brother.

Luca starts hitting the streets to find out who the bastardo is responsible for all this when he finds out about a Frenchman heroin kingpin is moving in on Naples. The Marsigiliese (Marcel Bozzuffi of Lucky Luke, Colt 38 Special Squad, Safari Rally, The French Connection, To Catch a King and Bilbao Blues) seems to be rubbing out all the gangs left and right, staking a claim to Naples for his own empire. Oh and the title simply means of or one from Marseilles. Bit of a let down, right?

His final words were, "Jazz Hands!"

The Marsigiliese doesn't deal well with a heroin shipment getting spoiled as he takes a frickin' blowtorch to a woman's head. Yup, in case you forgot this is a Fulci movie. Expect tons of graphic violence.

With blood being spilled like so much marinara sauce, it is pretty evident that The Marsigiliese doesn't play well with others as the bodies are stacking up like cord wood. AHEM! Where are the damn cops in all of this? My God there are corpses all over the ground, blocking alleys left and right, the hell are the cops? Polizia!!!

Luca, Perlante and Scherino have a meeting about what they're gonna do about the gun happy frog and the meeting feels off. A proposal to join forces and see how to remove him from the picture but again, feels out of sorts.

The Marsigiliese offers a sit down and frankly whoever is stupid enough to break bread with this nutter butter kind of deserves everything coming to them.

Will Luca have his revenge? Can his boss agree with the Marsigiliese? With there be an offer than no one can refuse?

This is a different area of expertise for Fulci and again, commonly I have seen most of his Horror films and a Sci-Fi fantasy film called Conquest. It's dark and gritty as similar to several crime dramas of this time just coming off the cusp the seventies movies like, The French Connection, The Mechanic, Dirty Harry or The Godfather.

Great pacing, simple and elegant story line and yes my version was English dubbed so you just know some of these lines got butchered.

I can't help but notice that Fabio Testi looks like Italian Sean Connery. Similar jawlines, rugged build and hell go look at a current photo of the guy. Cuts his beard like him as well.

Had a good time with this and for the horse lovers, there's a fire but nothing anywhere near the horse. The flames are background super imposed. Yeah I was afraid we'd see smoldering horse too as a dark standing but this isn't an Italian Cannibal animal mutilation exploitation director so we can all relax.

I did start laughing at the fight in the sulfur pits because the fight number sounds like a 70's soft core porn soundtrack.

 It's sinister, moody and damn good writing that pops off the page and on the screen. This is deemed a lesser known film but I was blown away by it. Well not as blown away as Mickey of course.

Looks like Ms. Jackson's turn to be nasty.

Rotten Reelz Reviews Audio Review # 42: Vampire Journals

As a request I look into more Ted Nicolau movies, I made this review and who knows?  Perhaps I will do some more Subspecies.   It is entirely possible.  Vampire Journals is up and running, awaiting your peepers, comments and queries.   Have fun!

Rotten Reelz Reviews Audio Review #41: George Romero's Land of the Dead

Hey gang!  I screwed up again and forgot to put the review on here.   My apologies.

As always, the link is up and sorry again about that.   Stay tuned!  I will be posting a review on Vampire Journals as well.

Random Movie: War

Hey gang. Back again and today I was feeling a bit of mindless action violence candy. That usually involves the gruff voiced and unshaven mug of Jason Statham. Oh don't worry. It's not a Transporter sequel nor is it the sequel to Crank. I will spare us all that bit of squirrelly. No, instead think of a crime war, some deep seething need for revenge and some twists and turns. This is War.

No Statham, I will not be in Expendables 4. Piss off!

Special Agent Jack Crawford (Jason Statham of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, The Italian Job, The One, Crank and The Expendables) and his partner Tom Lone (Terry Chan of I, Robot, The Life, Battlestar Galatica, Chaos, Snakes on a Plane, V, Riverworld, Sanctuary and House of Cards) just pissed away two years of their life on an investigation that went completely south in Asian Task Force. With the Yakuza and the Triads nipping at each others' heels, the Yakuza call an outside enforcer code name of Rogue (Jet Li of High Risk, Black Mask, Hitman, Romeo Must Die, Kiss of the Dragon, The One, Unleased and The Expendables). A extremely skilled marksman, martial artist and even swordsmaster. A jack of all trades in murder.

They had to subtitle Cockney again.

Jack almost meets his maker in the struggle when Tom shoots Rogue in the face as Rogue falls in the water with body not found for three days. A modern day myth as it was said that Rogue was once CIA having his face reshuffled often and then he went to work for the Yakuza's Oyabun Shiro (Ryo Ishibashi of Aiki, Moon Child, G@me, The Grudge, Big Bang Love, Juvenile A, Waru, Waru: kanketsu-hen and The Investigation Game)

Jack re-coops his arm but is off to watch the big game (Football I am guessing given it was fall, possibly basketball) when he has to make a pitstop for some steaks. Passed out from pain on the ride there, Jack, his wife Jenny (Andrea Roth of Crossworlds, Red Meat, Rescue Me, The Collector, Lucky, The Time Tunnel and Bridal Fever) and son Daniel get to see the Lones' home up in flames. Jack finds all three dead an a titanium spent shell that housed a depleted uranium bullet on the scene, Rogue's M.O.

Contract negotiations aren't going well.

Three years later, the Triads and Yakuza are about to go head to head. Leading the Asian Task Force is Jack dogged, determined and other things beginning and ending in d; hot on the trail of this impending war when another hit taking out some top soldiers of the Yakuza happens. All too similar to Rogue's M.O. Again.

Chang, head of the Triad (John Lone of Year of the Dragon, Echos of Paradise,The Last Emperor, The Moderns, The Hunted, M. Butterfly, The Shadow, Rush Hour 2 and Paper Moon Affair) is attempting to acquire an ancient household relic of golden horses. These two statues sold carefully can finance his empire in America and consolidate his foothold into a stance. Jack and his team now made aware of Rogue about, they know it is only a matter of time before the war breaks out and innocents get caught in the crossfire.

Keeping order in the states for the Yakuza is Kira (Devon Aoki of 2 Fast 2 Furious, Sin City, DOA, Mutant Chronicles, D.E.B.S., Death of a Dynasty and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead) , a ruthless, shrewd and health conscious young woman with ideas of advancing in the Yakuza and maintaining her family's honor. Nothing else matters to this girl. Seriously I think she would have creeped out Kill Bill's Go-go.

Will Jack and crew be able to catch Rogue? Will the Asian crimelords turn the city of San Francisco into a charnel house?

Okay the specifics of the film. One, there is mild nudity so may not want the kiddies sitting down to this one. Two, a substantial body count. Murder and mayhem are hand in hand. Three, a decent twist in the story so the brain does not get to shut off easily.

The stunt work of Gun Fu, car chases, car crashes, martial arts and even some sword fights is most impressive. Of course I have my nitpicks like an immensely dense metal like uranium used for 9mm is highly impractical and would most likely chew up the Walther P-99s that Jet is using. Commonly you find that in your 20mm to 30mm cannon shells. So you wouldn't trash your pistol you would have to pack less gunpowder. So less kill and next to no distance or accuracy. Check with your military friends if you think this fun fact is crap. They'll be on my side though.

Jet's car was a Spyder I think the Spyker C8 series which retails at about $275k, possibly more and last but certainly least, this marks the second of five films Jason Statham and Jet Li have collaberated in. The others are The One and The Expendables 1 through 3. Not a brilliant film but not a bad film either. Adrenaline junkies will enjoy it but so will the casual movie viewer.

A lost Highlander episode??

Italian Dark Universe: Flesh for Frankenstein

And we are back. Last week was messed up for reasons we won't go into. Today we are going to explore more obscure Italian horror films because...I couldn't think of anything else to view. This day's viewing pleasure was financed by the legendary Andy Warhol and directed by exploitation Horror and Action guru Paul Morrissey (Flesh, Lonesome Cowboys, San Diego Surf, Trash, Women in Revolt, Heat, L'Amour, Flesh for Frankenstein, Blood for Dracula and The Hound of the Baskervilles) This is Flesh for Frankenstein a.k.a. Andy Warhol's Frankenstein, Frankenstein, Up Frankenstein, The Devil and Dr. Frankenstein and Andy Warhol's Young Frankenstein.

Well that is an impressive cazzo. 

Okay before we go into the story this movie was rated X due to its explicit sexuality and severe violence. The MPAA had a field day with this flick due to avant-garde style shooting and open sexuality that the only thing that didn't make this a porno was penetration shots.

Our movie opens in Serbia with the Baron (Udo Kier of Mark of the Devil, Provocation, The Salzburg Connection, Blood for Dracula, The Last Word, Trauma, Suspiria, Lulu, The Island of the Bloody Plantation, Johnny Mnemonic, Blade and Shadow of the Vampire), his wife the Baroness Katrin (Monique van Vooren of Tarzan and the She-Devil, The Infiltrator, Gigi, Fearless Frank, Batman and Wall Street) and their two children dwell. His obsession with creating the perfect Serbian race by creating the perfect male and female from yup, you guessed it. The corpses of many a body. Need a obsession of a perfect nose for each.

Honey get these subtitles off my throat.

Busy juggling two animated corpses, he is quite swamped with Male (Srdjan Zelenovic of I Miss Sonia Henie and Flesh for Frankenstein) and Female (Dalila Di Lazzaro of It Can Be Done Amigo, The Scopone Game, Frankenstein '80, Tales of Canterbury, The Beast, Il gatto, The Last Romantic Lover, Miss Right, Killer vs Killers, Phenomena, Sicilian Connection, Paganini, and Breath of Life) his assistant Otto (Arno Juerging of Die Kramer, Flesh for Frankenstein, Blood for Dracula, All Around Service, Ein Mann will nach oben and Didi- Der Doppleganger) brings his "A" game as true henchman form. This particular Frankenstein's sexual nature is repressed by a need for domination as he creates his new flesh golems. Yeah there was no support group for his more risque fetish.

Um...yeah he could use a shrink.

Unbeknownst to Frankenstein, his male creature was once friends with a fellow stableboy Nicholas (Joe Dallesandro of Flesh, Lonesome Cowboys, San Diego Surf, Trash, Heat, Flesh for Frankenstein, Blood for Dracula, Garden of Death, One Woman's Lover, The Climber, Black Moon, Season for Assassins, The Streetwalker and Born Winner) and his current occupation is plowing the Baroness like the back forty. Must enjoy his work.

Under the complete submission of the Baron, the creatures sat at the dinner table with his family. As Nicholas serves the family, he recognizes the male creature as his friend. Damned to get noticed, he follows the Baron into his lab only to get captured by the good doctor.

Will the animate zombie orgy continue?? How screwed up will the Baron's kids be??

So some interesting trivia. The Cinecitta was originally founded in 1937 by Benito Mussolini, his son Vittorio and the head of cinema was Luigi Freddi. Part of the Fascist era but several parts of the studio were bombed during the bombing of Rome in WWII. In the 50s rebuilt prio to Ben-Hur. Some of the battered sets were used for HBO series Rome.

So with its graphic content I can imagine the kiddies might want skip this one. So necrophilia, nudity and gore aside I am sure it's always what Mary Shelley envisioned.

So do I get my down payment, ma'am?

Comic Flicks of 2016: Deadpool

Welcome back everyone! Hope you had a great Christmas, just now enjoying Hanukkah and maybe could explain Kwanzaa. At any rate, the festivities are on a lull for me so back to the grindstone. My lady love suggested yet another write-up for the week and I cannot disagree. We both tried to get into the films of this waning year and we found we were enjoying the comic book movies more so than the sci-fi, drama and comedies. No real fault on the writers' part, just felt that most of the flicks had no texture. So with that I guess this week is all about our comic book flicks of the year.

When you say anti-hero you think of criminals being punished by gunfire or 10 story swan dive out a window. Perhaps you might think of a demonic motorcyclist with a penance stare or even a Canadian with unbreakable bones and claws that can cut through anything. Be that as it may, today we talk about the wise-cracking, gun-totting, sword-wielding smart ass with a healing factor, the merc with the mouth. This is Deadpool.

Headshots!!!

After the abysmal failure of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the likelihood of a decent film was highly improbable but writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (Dinosaur, The Joe Schmo Show, Invasion Iowa, Zombieland and G.I. Joe: Retaliation) manage to hammer together an R rated smart arsed script giving life to one of the most beloved, loopy, spandex clad anti-heroes to the big screen. Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds of Van Wilder, Blade: Trinity, The Amityville Horror, Just Friends, Waiting..., Buried, Green Lantern, Safe House, R.I.P.D., and Woman in Gold) is a highly trained Special Forces commando gone mercenary taking his assignments, pleasing the clients and pocketing the cash. Even scores a hottie stripper name of Vanessa (Morena Baccarin of Firefly, Still Life, Serenity, Justice League, Stargate SG-1, Stolen, V, Homeland and Son of Batman) so all in all, life is looking up until...Wilson finds out he has cancer in his liver, lungs, prostate and brain and life is looking a tad closer towards the crapper.

So...whatcha doin' after the film?

Drinking at the bar for his assignments, Wade is visited a recruiter Wade dubbed "Agent Smith" (Jed Rees of Galaxy Quest, The Ringer, Elizabethtown, Deadpool and Dark Harvest) who tells Wilson of an organization that will embue him with powers and will enhance his existing abilities thus ridding him of his disease. Sounds pretty sweet until the main doctor Ajax (insert tough scrubbing joke) tells Wade that he'll be a super powered weapon of their choosing. Ajax (Ed Skrein of Ill Manors, The Sweeney, Game of Thrones, The Tunnel, Sword of Vengeance, The Transporter Refueled, Deadpool and The Model) pushes Wilson to his mental and physical breaking point until his mutation comes to light. (GEEK EXPLAINATION! Deadpool is a mutate not a mutant. A mutant develops powers due to an pre-existing chromosone while a mutate is due to an exposure of chemicals, environment, alien power base or the power of imagination!) Wilson develops a healing factor that is on par if not superior to that of even Wolverine's. Which makes sense since the stock being pumped into Wilson had to come from Weapon X. However the cancer mutates externally making Wilson's mug and body look like a vicious elbow scab. Maybe an orange you left in the back of the fridge for three months. He could double date with Freddy Kruger and Freddy would be the looker.

We are the three... aaaaamigos!!!

His buddy Weasel (actor/comedian T.J. Miller of T. J. Miller: No Real Reason, RVC: The Lone Shopping Network, Carpoolers, Waiting to Die, How to Train Your Dragon, Yogi Bear, Dragon: Riders of Berk, Big Hero 6 and High School USA!) pissed he didn't win the dead pool for Wade snuffing it gives Wade some tough love, advice and Wade a secret identity mostly by accident. Locked, loaded and severely honked off, Wade will find Ajax and carve him into brisket. Maybe say hi to his girl and who knows, hang with the X-Men.

Okay a few comments on the film overall. The "ONLY" complaint is in the comics, Wade/Deadpool is so messed up thanks to his extreme makeover he has voices in his head, different aspects of his personality if you will and they are always around for thought bubbles making comments so Wade looks completely crackers in a fire fight, sword fight and fistfight that it makes his opponents and even allies question if he is completely crackers or not. That is my only real complaint on this flick. Okay sure you could give him the Darkman damaged hero backstory but guess what!?! With the exception of maybe Thor, all heroes are damaged in one facet or another. Move on. Ryan Reynolds was the logical choice for this character because of his sense of humor, the factor he can manage to beef up and handle all the crazy training he had to pick up. Not to mention that outfit could NOT have been fun to roll in. You sneeze and it's all in your eyes.

The breaking the fourth wall gag was well done in just idly staring at the audience giving a bit of insight and banter. Yes Deadpool is aware he lives in a universe where people disappear/die/ressurect/get lost in time and have massive team-ups all the time.

Ooo can we skip Uncle Ben's death there Spiderman: Homecoming...please?   Seriously twice was enough but DC trumps that with multiple Batman Mom and Pop gacks.   So folks, Stephen Lang, Ron Perlman or my own choice Michael Parks ( Night Cries, Rainbow, The Private Files of J. Edgar Hoover, Bullfighter, Kill Bill: Vol. 1, Kill Bill: Vol.2, Planet Terror and Django Unchained) for Cable, the time traveling, cybernetic, telekinetic gun-totting badass himself. Oh go Google him already. Sheesh.

Wolvie says I can't fly the Blackbird again.  Dink.