Aimless Adulteration: Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

Hey folks, welcome back for more Aimless Adulteration as we jump back to that far off time of 2011. Oh so long ago he says with oodles of sarcasm. I felt that I have not done a popular comic book any justice. I have read this series ever since Dark Horse Comics translated it from Italian to English. From the creator/writer Tiziano Sclavi (Nero, Cemetery Man a.k.a. Dellamorte Dellamore, Dylan Dog, Vittima degli eventi a.k.a. Dylan Dog - Victim of Circumstances and DYLAN) comes the story of a investigator whose life to a downward spiral. This is Dylan Dog: Dead of Night.

I am ruggedly handsome, aren't I?

Before we get into this, I am aware of several nay sayers of this film because it was too Americanized or the fact that Dylan's sidekick was NOT Groucho Marx as it was in the comic in 1986. Well actually he was batcrap crazy and thought he was Groucho and even managed to pull off the shtick. That being said, I had a blast with this film. Okay on with the review.  An down and out investigator Dylan Dog (Brandon Routh of Superman Returns, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Fling, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Chuck, Arrow, The Flash and Legends of Tomorrow) encounters something of his past haunting him and telling him he needs to get back into "that line of work" again. Set in New Orleans, our would-be hero's conscience is nagging away at him and what he should be doing. His gopher/assistant Marcus (Sam Huntington of Detroit Rock City, Superman Returns, Fanboys, Being Human, The Throwaways, Sully and Finding Sofia) is pleading to being made a full partner and do some real investigations, not just developing film and getting groceries.

So I didn't have Buffy's number so I called you.

The new client Elizabeth Ryan's (Anita Briem of Doctors, The Nun, Doctor Who, The Evidence, Cold Trail, The Tudors and Journey to the Center of the Earth) father was killed and she has been scoffed at by the cops because she believes the killer was supernatural in the sense it was a werewolf that killed her father. Yeah got to admit, I would be a trifle skeptical too. Marcus looks about in the strange and weird happenings of New Orleans and gets killed. Yup right in the office.

Dylan grabs a forensics kit, some firearms and dons his familiar red shirt, black jacket and blue jeans and is back on the paranormal investigations. After confirming a werewolf was around the house, Dylan stops off at the morgue to pick Marcus up. Y'see Marcus is now a zombie. But not a flesh eating ghoul moaning brains braaaains (Thank you ever so much Dan O' Bannon of Return of the Living Dead. Putz.) but finds out that the undead life is like a medical condition...that is treatable?

Meanwhile the hottest club in town, the Corpus House (subtle as a grenade landing in your oatmeal) is a vampire haven providing drink, merriment and a designer drug comprised of vampire blood giving humans a super human high, strength and a primal need to breed and fight. Sorry Crack, you're yesterday's news. Master vampire Vargas (Taye Diggs of How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Go, The Best Man, House on Haunted Hill, Ally McBeal, Private Practice, Baggage Claim and The Best Man Holiday) is smooth, charismatic and scheming to make the breathers (humans) his slaves and take over the world. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Yeah, that old chestnut. Seriously, how about creating your own hobo blood bank system around the world to appease your elders or cash in on long-term investments. Always with the world domination with these cats.

Man, Zuul is butt ugly first thing when he wakes up.

Dylan still wary of days gone past, chats up the alpha werewolf in the meat packing district. Hehe little pig, little pig come be porkchops for four. Eldest werewolf Gabriel Cysnos (Peter Stormare of Fargo, The Lost World: Jurassic Park II, The Big Lebowski, 8 MM, Armageddon, Dark Summer, Strange Magic and Arrow) is nervous for the power struggle of the city and fears he may have to assert himself against the vampires if things are moving in the direction they are.

Can Dylan figure out what's going on? How funky does Marcus smell? Is Elizabeth the helpless client or the Femme Fatale?

Love the fact that WCW/WWF wrestling champion Kurt Angle gets to be Gabriel's son and werewolf. It was a nice touch. Now I am aware of a 2014 Italian film following much closer to the comic...oh excuse me, graphic novel. Vittima degli eventi a.k.a. Dylan Dog - Victim of Circumstances and what the hell, I will give it the once over.

Yup so much for the vampires not crossing thresholds.

Anti-hero Week

Welcome faithful readers.  We have had a few losses this last week that were met and hope we can progress further.  This week we take a different look at Comic Book Heroes.

Don't mock the wig, it's paid for.

They walk the line that other heroes dare not.  They take risks and lives for the greater good.  Their saga is inked in blood and all their enemies are six feet under.  They are the heroes that are as close to the darkness they fight but they don't worry about their souls in the process, so long as their crusades are met.  This week is all about the anti-hero.   The classic definition states anti-heroes are the center character in a story, movie or drama that lacks the conventional heroic attributes.
 
To me, it has always meant the realist character without a code versus killing.  Men and women scarred both physically and mentally, beyond repair feel they will make certain there will be no more victims and the guilty are punished with a blade or bullet.   So join me as we find some gems and evade a few turds.

I am not gaining weight to play Volstagg!

Sci-Fi Week: Flash Gordon

Hidey ho folks and welcome to Day 5 of Sci-Fi Week and this fine day we end on a Dino de Laurentiis production of which was a huge staple in science fiction and scifi fantasy.   What other film has a Bond, a Bond villain and Ornella Muti in basically spandex?   What other film can give you cheesy lines like,”Flying blind on a rocket cycle,” or “Lying bitch.”   So strap yourselves in, prep your preflight and may the gods have mercy.   This is Flash Gordon.

Space girls are easy...heh.

Spoiler’s alive??!!!

Based primarily on the 1934 comic strip created by Alex Raymond our film opens with booming narrative between two malicious powers on deciding what to do with the Earth.   His excellency, Emperor Ming (Max Von Sydow of The Exorcist, Conan the Barbarian, Judge Dredd, Minority Report and Shutter Island) amuses himself with tormenting Earth with manipulations of nature elements and disasters.    On Earth, New York Jets football hero Flash Gordon (Sam J. Jones of 10, My Chauffeur, Jane and the Lost City, Black Scorpion, Gangland, Revamped and Redemption) starts getting all flirty flirty with this leggy travel agent journalist Dale Arden (Melody Anderson of Dead & Buried, Manimal, Firewalker and Jake and the Fatman) and she plays hard to get.  Better to catch up with the pilots of this tiny two prop Cessna.   Little idle chat with the pilots and next thing you know the pilots are atomized by freak lightning.  No ifs ands or buts about it, they just vanish, leaving Flash to crash land the plane to safety.  Oh folks this will be a familiar theme as he seems to crash land everything he flies.   Dale and Flash are none worse for wear as they encounter NASA disavowed scientist Dr. Zarkov (Topol of Sallah, El Dorado, Fiddler on the Roof, The Public Eye, For Your Eyes Only and The Winds of War) whose building they crashed into.  He explains that he is concerned about the weather and assures them he has a phone to contact whomever they need.  Moments later he kidnaps them both on a rocket ship of his design to encounter whoever is wreaking havoc on the planet.  Travelled through almost a completely different galaxy our heroes arrive at the less that hospitable Mongo.  Nice place to visit but who wants to live there?  A bit like Vegas in that regards.  

Ming or the Mandarin? Who can say.

The intrepid trio is brought before the Royal Court and it will be in Ming’s law what to do with the pathetic Earthlings. Ming chooses to have Dale for…well pleasure.  Flash bowls over 12 of Ming’s men, in an impromptu Football tacklings and chucks these green cylinders at the soldiers, we get a fairly kick ass theme music going and then…Zarkov, typical geek throws like a retarded ape and clocks Flash in the coconut by accident.  Flash is scheduled to be executed but Ming’s daughter Aura (Ornella Muti of Tales of Ordinary Madness, Oscar, An Amazing Couple and Postcards from Rome) has the hots for Flash and asks to keep him as her…pleasure pet?   You get a Gorrean feel here in Mongo.   Our party is split up as Dale is prepped for…pleasure, Zarkov is to be mind wiped and Flash sent to death.  I tell you Ming can delegate his work load.  

And now a few points of interest about the film.   The airfield scenes at the beginning of the film, though set in America was actually shot in Scotland, Dino De Laurentiis was hoping Federico Fellini (La Strada, 8 1/2, La Dolce Vita and Juliet of the Spirits) would have directed the film given his involvement in the comic strip during WWII and Timothy Dalton looked good in a Errol Flynn mustache.   Yes the effects are blue screened and composited in but all in all this purposely campy film holds a place near and dear in my heart.

So drink after all this?  Oh, yeah.