Dogma

Well hey there gentle readers. Back again with some more controversial and blasphemous works of Kevin Smith. Now don't get me wrong, because I enjoyed the hell out of this flick but the Roman Catholic Church felt it was a slap in the face of the lord o' mighty and the Catholic League made like they did picketing Last Temptation of Christ via Martin Scorsese. So already I am on board just to annoy the practicing Catholics alone. This is Dogma.

Brave woman.  I wouldn't entrust these two to open a can of beans.

Destined to be the second movie but knocked back to film number four, our story opens with two fallen angels Bartleby (Ben Affleck of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dazed and Confused, Mallrats, Going All the Way, Good Will Hunting, Armageddon, Reindeer Games, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Daredevil, Clerks II and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice) and his companion Loki (Matt Damon of Mystic Pizza, Chasing Amy, Good Will Hunting, Saving Private Ryan, Rounders, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Ocean's Eleven, The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, The Departed and The Martian) were banished to Earth after a misadventure resigning from the appointment of Angel of Death thanks to Bartleby's words of encouragement. For all eternity they are to remain...in Wisconsin. Until McGuffin appears in the form of a newspaper clipping. Exclaiming in celebration of its bi-centennial, the plenary indulgence (remission of all sins and thereby all are permitted direct entry to Heaven) is on for those Catholics feel they must repent. Translation: Loophole and making God somehow imperfect. (I can hear the anger of many a Christian...good...good. The hate is swelling in you now)

Man that Good Will Hunting money spent quick, right?

God not seemingly on the scene, the Seraphim Metatron (Alan Rickman of Die Hard, Quigley Down Under, Truly Madly Deeply, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Judas Kiss, Dark Harbor, Galaxy Quest, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Love Actually and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) the Voice of God visits Bethany (Linda Fiorentino of After Hours, Queens Logic,The Last Seduction, Jade, Men in Black, What Planet Are You From? And Where the Money Is) a depressed catholic and abortion clinic technician charging her with a holy quest to stop the angels before all of the world is undone. She will be accompanied by two prophets Jay (Jason Mewes of Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Scream 3, Vulgar, Clerks: The Animated Series, Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back and Clerks II) and Silent Bob (writer/director/actor Kevin Smith Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Scream 3, Vulgar, Clerks: The Animated Series, Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back, Clerks II, Catch and Release, Manchild and Live Free or Die Hard) as terrible twosome from the Askewverse's longest running characters.

Along on said less than merry quest they encounter plummeting from the skies Rufus (Chris Rock of Saturday Night Live, In Living Color, Chris Rock: Bigger and Blacker, Lethal Weapon 4, Nurse Betty, Pootie Tang, Bad Company, Pauly Shore Is Dead and Grown Ups) a dead man claiming to be the thirteenth Apostle, omitted from the Bible because he's black. Our foursome makes their way to a titty bar finding one of the strippers to be the former muse Serendipidity (Salma Hayek of Desperado, Four Rooms, Fair Game, Fools Rush In, 54, The Faculty, Wild Wild West, Traffic, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, After the Sunset and Bandidas) inspiration herself reduced to stripping due to writer's block and thus the curious quintet are off to save the world.

Can the angels be stopped? Will the universe cease to be?? Will we all snuff it??

A few points of interest on this is, the very Jewish last named Cardinal portrayed by the late great comedian/writer/producer and actor George Carlin. Glick as I am lead to understand ain't exactly an Irish name so I snickered quite a bit. SFX supervisor and designer Vincent J Guastini had his hands full with designing wings for the angels and the Golgothan(the slimy poop demon made of the excrement of thieves, rapists and murderers) and the late talented Alan Rickman who was a Chasing Amy fan wanted to do Dogma under two conditions: 1) Staying true to the script and 2) whether the wings were practical or CGI. Did I forget to mention casting /songwriter/singer Alanis Morissette as...God?

Makes sense the Voice of God is English. Classy.

Director Week: Stanley Kubrick- Dr. Strangelove

How do all and welcome back for Day 3 of Director Week via Stanley Kubrick. Well our boy has tackled some taboo, some terror and adventure. So how about a dark comedy? Yes a satire depicting our planetary leaders in the midst of a Cold War nuclear crisis, in which Peter Sellers is brilliant in. This is Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.

Mein Fuhrer, I can smirk!

With heightened paranoia as the order of the day, U.S. Air Force Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden of The Asphalt Jungle,The Killing, Hard Contact, The Godfather, The Long Goodbye and 1900) commanding SAC (Strategic Air Command) has recently discovered there is fluoride in the water which in his addled mind must mean... a Communist plot to deplete the American's precious bodily fluids. If you were expecting a hyperbole or punchline, no that is an actual line in this movie.

Ripper gets on the horn with his XO (Executive Officer) RAF Group Captain Lionel Mandrake (Peter Sellers of Only Two Can Play, Lolita, The Wrong Arm of the Law, The Pink Panther, A Shot in the Dark and Casino Royale) who puts the base on full alert, has the B-52 bomber loaded with 40 megatons of radioactive fun for all the Soviet boys and girls but realizes that Bomber Plan R can only be implemented if the higher command has been obliterated. Meanwhile in the War Room, President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) is reviewing how our bombers could have been sent out and demand an immediate recall back to base.

But enough about nuclear arms, look at those gams.

Confabbing with General Buck Turgidson (George C. Scott of The Hustler, Patton, Rage, Bank Shot, The Changeling, Firestarter, A Christmas Carol and The Exorcist III) who flim flams about how the American Military's diligence to duty is what makes the country so great that they cannot radio the bomber to simply stand down as it can only utter a new code from the CRM-114 of 3 letters and only the Brigadier has that code. Trying to get the Premier on the phone shows to be difficult as they must correct this oversight.

Well the Army spring into action to overrun the Air Force base, The President consults with his scientific advisor, the former Nazi, Dr. Strangelove (Peter Sellers) starts calculating the potential fallout of the impeding nuclear holocaust that awaits them if they go underground, stockpile nuclear energy, gather several hundred thousand people and prep a breeding program to save the human race. Naturally the ratio of female to male would be 10 to 1 but that is just good math. Will the bomb drop? Can we avoid this horrible future? Will the word "Commie" be stuck in my head all day?

Some interesting tidbits about the film.   George C. Scott was annoyed with Stanley Kubrick getting him to overact his role. While vowing to never work with Kubrick, even Scott had to see that was an amazing performance. It has been a rumor confirmed fact that Peter Sellers improved most of his lines and Kubrick encouraged him to do so. Major Kong's line about the survival kit was originally "A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Dallas with all that stuff". It was decided that Dallas would be overdubbed with Vegas due to the assassination of John F. Kennedy. The film was set to be released on 1963 but that same assassination would be foremost in American minds so they waited the next year. As research for the film, Kubrick read nearly 50 books on nuclear war.

Extreme close-ups are never that extreme!!!