VFW

Hey there readers. Well I can honestly say today's film has been a long time coming. I have been looking forward to this since February. With its substantial cast, its almost Assault on Precinct 13 vibe and simplistic but decent story idea, this promises to be fun. With the conglomeration of Fangoria working in junction with Channel 83 Films, Voltage Pictures and Shudder brings about a collection of genre actors being bad ass war veterans versus a passel of drug addicted mutants bringing all the madness. This is VFW.

SHOTS!!!

Writer/producer/director Joe Begos (Almost Human, The Mind's Eye, Bliss and VFW) with co-writers Max Brallier (The Last Kids on Earth and VFW) and Matthew McArdle (VFW) our story opens with grainy appearance with hot neon and almost a 16 mm 70's exploitation feel with 80's known character actors. I'm always down for such, as it is my one of my favorite sub-genre.

The opioid of the masses is called Hype and there are more than enough addicts longing for their next fix. Seriously, this crap makes Meth look like Fruit Loops.

With a buy of 500k on the line, dealer Boz (Travis Hammer of The Last Ship, Westworld, Ray Donovan, Godles, Monsters of God and The Unsettling) has been hoarding Hype from the masses and chaos is in the streets. Guys, there's always tweak, coke and crack still. C'mon, go old school.

She should have skipped the pate'.

The bar is full and a celebration is on at VFW Post 2494.  Tending bar is our birthday boy Fred (Stephen Lang of Manhunter, Project X, Crime Story, Last Exit to Brooklyn, Tombstone, Shadow Conspiracy, Fire Down Below, Public Enemies, Avatar and Don't Breathe), former Vietnam vet hanging with his buddies: vets Reed (William Sadler of Die Hard 2: Die Harder, Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, The Shawshank Redemption, Hawaii Five-0, Z Nation, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., The Duel, Power and The Highwaymen), Clayton (Martin Kove of The Last House on the Left, Death Race 2000, Beyond Westworld, Bloodtide, The Karate Kid, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Cagney & Lacey, Firehawk, Wyatt Earp, Assault on Devil's Island, Black Scorpion Returns and Revamped).

Korean vet Abe (Fred Williamson of Hammer, The Inglorious Bastards, 1990: The Bronx Warriors, Warriors of the Wasteland, Cobra nero South Beach, From Dusk Till Dawn, Vegas Vampires, Zombie Apocalypse: Redemption and Dropping Evil) McCarthy (David Patrick Kelly of The Warriors, 48 Hrs., Commando, Twin Peaks, The Crow, Last Man Standing, Gossip Girl and Blue Bloods)booze hound Zabriski (NORM! George Wendt of Cheers, House, Fletch, Wild About Harry, Becker, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Saturday Night Live, Modern Men, Clipped, Wake Up America!, Eddie's and Bliss) and young Army Ranger sharpshooter returned home Mason (Tom Williamson of All Cheerleaders Die, Dark Nights, Collision, No Way to Live, Running Wild, NCIS, BSU: Black Student Union,The Fosters and Blue Bloods) as they all enjoy the night of stories told and drinks being thrown back.

Hmm, this girl might be a bit crazy like.

Punk kid Lizard (Sierra McCormick of Land of the Lost, Jack and Janet Save the Planet, A.N.T. Farm, Jessie, The Christmas Trap, All Good Things and VFW) pulls a snatch and grab on the Hypers, a gang of junkies and dealers for more than half a million dollars in junk. Desperate for a change and a place to hide out, she sneaks into the bar, putting everyone in danger.

Lizard tells them that seven different kinds of Hell are about to rain down on the VFW and they better get their crap together because it's going to hit and hit in biblical proportions.

Most of these Hypers are brain dead and ravenous for their next fix. Think Zach Synder's Dawn of the Dead mixed with a little Umberto Lenzi's Nightmare City, with zombies using firearms and melee weapons. That's what our fightin' boys are up against.  Lizard or "Liz" gives them the low down and the fellas gear up.

With limited rounds, improvised melee weapons and some good old fashioned know-how, our boys know the pucker factor is at a nine. A small army of crackheads is making their move and the boys are getting tired and running out of time. FYI, the exposition told us the cops aren't hitting the neighborhood and the options are running low.

Few observations, the synth score really feels John Carpenter worthy via Escape from New York, the gangers and hypers are amusingly all white so you're damn right I laughed at that.   Far too many films of this sub-genre hire latinos and blacks to fill the junkie/street punks and yes if you really need examples of that, just look at the Dirty Harry and Death Wish franchise and you'll be hip to that cliche'.

Martin Kove's son Jesse (Ballistica, First Day, Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan, As Night Comes,Steve the Intern and The Black Hole) has followed in his father's footsteps and got the acting bug for a solid ten years. Good on you, man. A decade of work in anything deserves some congrats.

With the slow pace story telling, making a build up for the second act and brother this is a bloody flick. Not the bloodiest I have seen but it is on par with From Dusk Till Dawn for solid gore effects brought by Chris A. Wilks (CIA: Comrade in America, Queen of the South, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich, Satanic Panic and The Chosen) and Bob Trevino (Wild America, Open Range, The Alamo, Glory Road, Predators, Machete, The Expendables, The Good Guys and Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe).

 For 92 minutes I have been entertained and I am glad to have this in my collection. An homage to the midnight grindhouse and sleazy horror of the 70s and 80s, a overall vibe that felt like a tribute to the masters of the sub-genre to the likes of Umberto Lenzi, John Carpenter, Jack Hill and throw in some Tobe Hooper for good measure, I was not disappointed. So for an easy story to follow about old age, the grind of life, honor and giving a damn; this one covers that pretty well.

Got any change?!

NES Friday the 13th

Uh Happy Friday the 13^th. I guess. Not really a holiday per-say but plenty of superstitious folk and fans of Voorhees are all excited. Yup Brandon I am still doing this almost every Friday the 13^th.

Well, I was going to review the 2017 survival horror, time-trial multi-player game buuuut, funds weren't available. Yeah I know, a two year old game out of reach. So with that in mind I thought I could slough through the LJN (The Karate Kid, Jaws, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage, Alien 3, Wolverine) faux pas and see how easy it was to beat.  This is Friday the 13^th NES.

Lord Humongous! RUN GEORGE!

Released in 1989, a year after at the height of Friday the 13^th Part VII: The New Blood and a few months before Friday the 13^th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan the cover resembles Jason from Part 7 in his rotted zombie hillbilly mongoloid self and we have seven camp counselors watching over the kids, enjoy the lake and all the wildlife and lush forest.

Of course we can't have the counselors getting some nookie, beer or weed because...Nintendo is a family friendly console. So why do a Horror game? Got me. So Jason is on a rampage and you must protect the kids and look out for your fellow counselors. Let's talk weapons! Yeah!

Rocks! Yeah fricking rocks! With a half-assed 30 degree lobbing arc, you have ROCKS! Against a near 7 foot tall murder machine with terrifying strength, a big machete and whatever other melee weapons he could have and you have rocks. But wait! There's also an infinite supply of what appears to be LL Bean hunting knife that you can chuck at Jason. Of course one hit and you lose that weapon so, NO TOUCHY!!! As you go the madcap maze of the woods, you can also get a hurling axe and you can use fire on Jason as well. After all, fire bad.

Eat...rock.  Yeah it still sounds pathetic.

Well now it gets nutty. Yeah in addition to Jason being a serious massacre waiting to happen, Crystal Lake is overflowing with scourge of zombies, killer crows that look like Heckel & Jeckel, bats, wolves and Jason's mother's severed head. Yeah she flies right at you and bonks you like the damn Medusa heads from Castlevania.

If I had to guess, Crystal Lake resident pilgrims slaughtered the naive and innocent Native Americans and dumps the bodies in the lake rendering them to soap. How cursed could this chunk of land be??

Hot side scrolling action, the main goal is to defeat Jason three times. Not too different with LJN's Jaws. Little interesting how Jason looks to be almost 9 feet tall, wearing a glow in the dark hockey mask and a purple jumpsuit. Swinging massive fists like Mike Tyson's Punch-Out and yeah you guessed it; me stuck with ROCKS!!!

Aside from having the option of swapping out to different counselors who have different speeds and strengths, ultimately if all the counselors are dead, it's game over. Now a strange addition (LJN never cared about source material), Jason can end up threatening and murdering kids. Teens and 20 somethings, even 30 somethings playing teens will die by Voorhees' hands but he doesn't gack kids. Could have something to do with his tragic drowning forever changing his life and undead status.

Zombie depth charge!

This two repetitive soundtracks and sound effects were developed by composer Hirohiko Takayama (The Karate Kid, King of Kings, Ghostbusters II, Time Zone, Trax and Bonk's Adventure) and yeah that continuous looping of music you can't shut it off, change it so it was just turn down the sound. Similar to Castlevania II: Simon's Quest, there is transition from day to night and vice versa.

This single-player survival horror game is...well kinda dull. I beat it in 25 minutes. I am told that is still not that fastest it has be bested at.

Nostalgia wise, this game has a place in pop culture, in 2013 NECA (National Entertainment Collectibles Association Inc.) released an exclusive action figure based on this game's appearance with his purple jumpsuit, an axe, machete and his glow in the dark hockey mask. If you think that looks silly, Freddy Krueger has orange sweater, pants and blades coming out of his fingers and a brown hat.

Naturally the critics took in the name and immediately crapped on it. Complaining about the repetition of the music and the game play was too frustrating. Aside from not giving a damn about the source material, it's just a survival horror game. The first real horror franchise for NES era.

Much better. Eat knife ya zombastich!