Rose Blood: A Friday the 13th Fan Film

 Hello again, readers of the Rotten and I realize I have not written anything since February but alas, this blog does not pay me at all. You can understand how why I would continue with freelance writing that actually pays the bills. With a slight lull between assignments, I was asked to take a peek at a fan film that has had serious buzz about it. A continuation of Part VII: The New Blood. For those of you following at a distance, envision an undead, mongoloid hillbilly with a hockey mask fetish and you'll be right with the rest of us Voorhees fans. This is Rose Blood: A Friday the 13^th Fan Film. 

 

Got yer nose!..or throat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Remember kids, this is a semi-professional film with no studio backing and solely raised money for such via Indiegogo.com. Harken with me to the Way Back Machine as 13 months after the events of Part VII occurred, Jason was dosed in flames and Tina's dead father (yup, never dragged the lake for his body) pulls Voorhees down in the depths rather nicely, Tina and Nick barely escaped with their lives. 

Flashback Tina (Jessica Hottman of And The All Blew Away, Shadow of a Doubt, Rose Blood: A Friday the 13^th Fan Film, The Perfect Find and Facade) was captured and brought to the newly completed Crystal Lake Research Facility (previously mentioned and outright thrashed by Voorhees in Jason X). Apparently Uncle Sam needs psionic warriors to keep freedom reigning...probably attack the Russians with espers(extra sensory projectors), feeding them false info or assassination via stroke. Hey! It's 1989 and they're spending money like crazy of defense and offense, so why not on bio-weapons?

Your cotton jammies itchy too?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All this falls under the purview of General Brackbower (actor/writer/director Peter Anthony of Vengeance, Red Swan, Reflections: Project Chameleon, Rose Blood and Z Dead End) and Dr. Sykes (David E. McMahon of NS404: Provenance, I Am Going to Kill Someone This Friday, Seeing Evil, 10/31 Part 2, Sharp Candy, Obsidian, Teacher Shortage and 13 Slays Til X-Mas).

Flash forward to 30 years later at the Hodder Mental Institute, Tina (Lar Park-Lincoln of Friday the 13^th Part VII: The New Blood, Knots Landing, Beverly Hills, 90210, From the Dark, Gravestoned, Sky Sharks and 13 Fanboy) is trying to not use her powers, to not be extraordinary but to be one of the good norms. Minor problem there is her former psychiatrist Dr. Crews (Terry Kiser of From a Whisper to a Scream, The Return of the Six-Million-Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman, Murder, She Wrote, Friday the 13^th Part VII: The New Blood, Weekend at Bernie's, Chameleons, Side Out, Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman and Walker, Texas Ranger) seems to be haunting her. We know he's haunting her because Jason diced him like a set of spare ribs.  Well...the MPAA neutered several scenes in Part VII so not sure if it was quite the spare ribs treatment, but the point is Tina is having a bit of a time with the dead.

This mask is pretty durable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flashback Tina (Jessica Hottman) is being pushed harder and harder by Dr. Sykes than even Dr. Crews did but it's more subtle and yes he attempts to be her Yoda. Sith choke him Tina. She's been held there to "get better" for over a year, not even allowed to go to her late mother's funeral. Jason still remains in the lake, for now at least but how long with that last? Sykes passes the buck, claiming he'll have to check with the military. Spineless jack rabbit.

Trying to boost her abilities at the behest of one of the many Jason victims and characters with a stake in it, Creighton Duke (Jequient Broaden of Rose Blood: A Friday the 13^th Fan Film and Slasher Scotty), a character from Part 9:Jason Goes to Hell and it was never fully explained but the fans believed he was related to camp counselor Sissy from Part 6, but for some reason Jason Goes to Hell never went out of its way to explain that. Time constrains, budget balancing, body hopping entity Jason. It was a garbled mess. Maybe this is where Duke learned to dish out information one broken finger at a time.  His phone conversation made it sound like scholarship boxer Julius from Part 8 was his son. DUN DUN DUN!!

Getting away from the story for now, let's talk production value. The main story is all based (no pun intended) in the facility so less issue with sets. The flashbacks feel 80s from the chosen music, posters, clothes and dialogue. This is some actual research. As a child from the 80s I would have to plow through at least 15 popular TV series and hit the flicks for lingo and comments so it would feel genuine and this does. Camera work, lighting and sound all in the green, baby! Only thing needed now is a slight grain to 35mm film stock and we're watching an 80s film.

what do you mean Nick's fighting vampires with another girl?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But enough of the raving on excellent camera work and great sound quality, let's get back to our main character Rose (Sanae Loutsis of The Black String, Beloved Beast, Vengeance, The Parish, Rose Blood: A Friday the 13^th Fan Film and Friday the 13^th Vengeance 2: Bloodlines) who power levels rival that of Tina's and apparently, she too has a psychic link to the world's most pissed off goalie from the dead.

Military knuckle knobs apparently subscribe to the Steele and Captain Rhodes behavior protocol via Day of the Dead. Yes, they're assholes if that wasn't clear enough.  64 minutes into the film as all this back story and subplots make way before we see our slasher in act 3 and brother this fella ratchets up the gore and tension.  Understand that I am very partial to both C.J. Graham of Jason Lives and Kane Hodder of 7,8,9 and Jason X, so when I say Jason Brooks delivers, I'm not fooling around.  Height wise he is imposing, he adopted that odd head tilt Hodder always did and gore is being served.

Jason (Jason Brooks of You Don't Get Out, Experiment TC-9585, Happy Trails, Vengeance, Up All Night, Zombiegeddon and Watchdogs) is making mincemeat out of the military and doing that teleportation around the compound like the good old days. (I'm serious, the game got it right. The dude ports like Nightcrawler and then turns people into death pinatas)

Just for clarification, these kids are being held against their will as wards of the state. NO ONE even knows where they are, who they are with or if they are even alive. All for a black ops mission to capture the undead, mongoloid, murderous hillbilly. Which this brilliant general will turn into a series of bio-weapons. Look I know the Bush administration, coming off of Reagan allowed for many operations but you're telling me the Pentagon approved of this?

The dynamic of Rose and Tina is well connected from the performances. They're almost sisters in a way, given Tina is very maternal with her and has a near big sister/foster mom vibe looking out for Rose and the bond is growing fast.  Make no mistake, these two steal this movie.

This most obscure Friday the 13^th reference was Dr. Sykes talking about his sister is probably marrying FBI Mahoney and the only Mahoney I remember is during the gun down sting operation in Jason Goes to Hell and he was assigned to quote "Clean that shit up."by the agent in charge, Abernathy.  About had a mild stroke remembering that scene.   Last time I saw Jason Goes to Hell was when I reviewed it.

So what do we have? Impressive cast, solid story linking previous titles of the franchise and a decent set of story arcs and subplots giving this credence to be among the originals. Professional crew managing some difficult shooting in the space they were allotted but damn if they didn't pull it off.

For a moment, I did wonder why Jennifer Banko (Friday the 13^th Part 7: A New Blood, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Nowhere Man, Barb Wire, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death and 13 Fanboy) wasn't called in to play to reprise Young Tina, annnnd then it dawned on me that she might have some difficulty passing herself off as a teen. Curves will do that.

 

 

Can you imagine how bad this undead dude smells?

NES Friday the 13th

Uh Happy Friday the 13^th. I guess. Not really a holiday per-say but plenty of superstitious folk and fans of Voorhees are all excited. Yup Brandon I am still doing this almost every Friday the 13^th.

Well, I was going to review the 2017 survival horror, time-trial multi-player game buuuut, funds weren't available. Yeah I know, a two year old game out of reach. So with that in mind I thought I could slough through the LJN (The Karate Kid, Jaws, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage, Alien 3, Wolverine) faux pas and see how easy it was to beat.  This is Friday the 13^th NES.

Lord Humongous! RUN GEORGE!

Released in 1989, a year after at the height of Friday the 13^th Part VII: The New Blood and a few months before Friday the 13^th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan the cover resembles Jason from Part 7 in his rotted zombie hillbilly mongoloid self and we have seven camp counselors watching over the kids, enjoy the lake and all the wildlife and lush forest.

Of course we can't have the counselors getting some nookie, beer or weed because...Nintendo is a family friendly console. So why do a Horror game? Got me. So Jason is on a rampage and you must protect the kids and look out for your fellow counselors. Let's talk weapons! Yeah!

Rocks! Yeah fricking rocks! With a half-assed 30 degree lobbing arc, you have ROCKS! Against a near 7 foot tall murder machine with terrifying strength, a big machete and whatever other melee weapons he could have and you have rocks. But wait! There's also an infinite supply of what appears to be LL Bean hunting knife that you can chuck at Jason. Of course one hit and you lose that weapon so, NO TOUCHY!!! As you go the madcap maze of the woods, you can also get a hurling axe and you can use fire on Jason as well. After all, fire bad.

Eat...rock.  Yeah it still sounds pathetic.

Well now it gets nutty. Yeah in addition to Jason being a serious massacre waiting to happen, Crystal Lake is overflowing with scourge of zombies, killer crows that look like Heckel & Jeckel, bats, wolves and Jason's mother's severed head. Yeah she flies right at you and bonks you like the damn Medusa heads from Castlevania.

If I had to guess, Crystal Lake resident pilgrims slaughtered the naive and innocent Native Americans and dumps the bodies in the lake rendering them to soap. How cursed could this chunk of land be??

Hot side scrolling action, the main goal is to defeat Jason three times. Not too different with LJN's Jaws. Little interesting how Jason looks to be almost 9 feet tall, wearing a glow in the dark hockey mask and a purple jumpsuit. Swinging massive fists like Mike Tyson's Punch-Out and yeah you guessed it; me stuck with ROCKS!!!

Aside from having the option of swapping out to different counselors who have different speeds and strengths, ultimately if all the counselors are dead, it's game over. Now a strange addition (LJN never cared about source material), Jason can end up threatening and murdering kids. Teens and 20 somethings, even 30 somethings playing teens will die by Voorhees' hands but he doesn't gack kids. Could have something to do with his tragic drowning forever changing his life and undead status.

Zombie depth charge!

This two repetitive soundtracks and sound effects were developed by composer Hirohiko Takayama (The Karate Kid, King of Kings, Ghostbusters II, Time Zone, Trax and Bonk's Adventure) and yeah that continuous looping of music you can't shut it off, change it so it was just turn down the sound. Similar to Castlevania II: Simon's Quest, there is transition from day to night and vice versa.

This single-player survival horror game is...well kinda dull. I beat it in 25 minutes. I am told that is still not that fastest it has be bested at.

Nostalgia wise, this game has a place in pop culture, in 2013 NECA (National Entertainment Collectibles Association Inc.) released an exclusive action figure based on this game's appearance with his purple jumpsuit, an axe, machete and his glow in the dark hockey mask. If you think that looks silly, Freddy Krueger has orange sweater, pants and blades coming out of his fingers and a brown hat.

Naturally the critics took in the name and immediately crapped on it. Complaining about the repetition of the music and the game play was too frustrating. Aside from not giving a damn about the source material, it's just a survival horror game. The first real horror franchise for NES era.

Much better. Eat knife ya zombastich!

Death Camp III in 2D!

Hiya folks, we are back again! So once again, I have been called upon for my humble writing skills to give a movie a review. Not too shocking as that is kind of my schtick. A young writer/director Matt Frame (Where's Mary Jane, Baghdad or Bust, GGG: One Night Stab and No Joke) contacted me directly as he will be attending the Requiem FearFest in Montreal and wanted my take on what I took away from his film.

Now this is actually a horror spoof, so yes a horror/comedy on a popular Paramount slasher, so expect a few Crystal Lake references as you read this. This is Camp Death III in 2D!

Mongo is easily startled.  Just a cat off camera.

In spite of the backstory...I mean exposition of Camp Crystal Meph having ghost stories of Johann Van Damme (Terry Mullet of Alcatraz, Fringe, Red Widow, Almost Human, Van Helsing, Supergirl and Jude's Hope), a vengeful killer that stocks these here woods, mutilating corpses and probably putting on his own backwoods production of The Muppets. With properly sewn flesh puppets. The remaining survivor, Alice (Cynthia Chalmers of Behind the 8 Ball, Rippers and Camp Death III in 2D!) stops Johann...for now.

Hmm you'd think this would be a bad idea to restart the camp but never stopped Camp Rolling Hills  (Sleepaway Camp II reference!!) so onward and upward, Camp Crystal Meph. Lead counselor Todd Boogjumper (Dave Peniuk of Night Owl High, What We Once Were, The Young Eccentrics, Rushback and The Wrong People) is a man. A man with a goal. To turn his uncle's formerly cursed campgrounds into a rehabilitation center for the mentally ill. Yup, a woodsy region cut off of main roads, communications and nutters. Well that can only go swimmingly, can't it?

Uncle Mel (Darren Andrichuk of In the End, Standard Action, Phantom, 3 Hours till Dead and What We Once Were) seems less than impressed with this turn out but I guess he owes loan sharks so he goes along with Todd's plan. Special girl Rachel (Angela Galanopoulos of Sentience, NPC, Michelle's, Ice, Camp Death III in 2D! And Little Olivier) believes in the goals aside for the camp, getting the folk that gave a crap up until a week ago, some righteous God fearing help but of course she had...an accident. Remember, half of half assed writing is a tragic story in the background. Or she makes toliet on the floor.

WE DEMAND BOOTY! Silence male sexist pig boy! Sorry they always sneak in to slasher films. We have period based 80s hairstyles, clothing and totally the lingo. Cue Kane Hodder!!

Filmed in Michael Myers stalker vision.

The composition is similar to Harry Manfredi on the piano helps capture the mood.  We have all the cliches.  A squirrely elderly warning of the dangers of Crystal Meph, irritable bad boys, jiggly girls, the practical joker, sex fiends and sex addicts.   I am pretty sure we will have some psychic phenomenons as well.    Kind of disappointed to not seeing a pedophile cook archetype from Sleepaway Camp.

A few points of observation. I get the huge impact the third Friday the 13^th had on folk but this honestly feels more like a dig on the second and fifth movie with more killer POV shots, the more troubled teens to twenty somethings and the fact they are all...not mentally above board.

Now we need weed, booze and per-marital sex and our slasher will manifest from the woods with weapon of choice.   How about an axe made up of dead badgers?  Hey I have seen the machete, chainsaw, and butcher knife. Gimme something unusual. Howzabout a musical number?

Campers and staff alike are dying in horrific ways...may be something to this lunatic in the woods thing. Is it Johann from beyond the grave or an elaborate fan turned copycat killer???

On an estimate of 35,000 CAD, this film has rauchy, goofy and having fun. Clearly this was never meant to be taken seriously, Even the squirrels hate Uncle Mel. Very reminiscent of Airplane or the lesser known horror spoof, Pandemonium with Tom Smothers, Carol Kane, Judge Reinhold, Phil Hartman and Victoria Carroll; manages to be clever where Scary Movie failed miserably after its first film. Even then, the dick and fart jokes were tedious rather than amusing.

This film is tackling a series 30 years old, trying to not make too many current references and cash in on the myriad of tropes and cliches' is what parody was meant for. To pick on story lines with so many holes in it, you feel like plot points were completely missed, forgotten or no one gave a damn, gives you a sense of fans having fun and taking notes.

So take your brain off the hook, watch and learn and maybe you will pick up enough pointers how to torment your own franchise. I'll see about a The Texas Chainsaw Massacre with a chili cook-off, vindictive characters, a coming of age love story and discount chain of fireworks deaths.   I'll work on that write up.

Counselor Bad Touch!

Rotten Reelz Reviews Audio Review: Friday the 13th Part 2

Yeah, yeah.  I'll write something next week.   In the mean time, being Friday the 13th,  I present you a an audio review of Friday the 13th Part 2 and yes I swear I will work on some reviews of the written variety next week.   Now watch this and have fun!

Horror I Have Missed: Friday the 13th

Hey folks and welcome back to the Aimless Adulteration. Given it is Friday the 13^th I always make a big production of whatever stills I have on hand and give you all a Happy Friday the 13^th reference here and there but this time around I noticed something vital. Ya see long before the resurrections, zombification or even the potato sack days, Jason was a deformed boy that was mocked and picked on by the kids of the camp. His mother Pamela was the cook at Camp Crystal Lake and his father was nowhere to be found. Then one day he was out in the lake and he drown. You think that may have had some repercussions. This is the original Friday the 13^th.

Got..something..itching my throat.

Fresh off of Here Come the Tigers and Manny's Orphans director/producer Sean Cunningham (The Last House on the Left, Case of the Full Moon Murders, Here Come the Tigers, Manny's Orphans, The New Kids, House, House II: The Second Story, DeepStar Six, The Horror Show and Terminal Invasion) and writer Victor Miller (The Black Pearl, Manny's Orphans, Friday the 13^th, A Stranger Is Watching, Another World, Guiding Light and All My Children) are peddling Manny's Orphans but there is no guarantee on whether it will be a hit and when the residual checks will start happening so what do you do?

Not so footloose now, are ya?

Well you hook up with FX and SFX make-up artist/stuntman/actor guru Tom Savini (Dead of Night,Martin, Dawn of the Dead, Maniac, Eyes of a Stranger, The Burning, The Prowler, Nightmare, Midnight, Day of the Dead and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2) fresh off of Romero's Martin, get some Karo Syrup, food dye, a few tricked out weapon props and some fresh faces to be butchered. So the summer of 1979 with gore gags planned and plenty of dribbly blood at the ready, our cast and crew set off to make some records...okay they didn't know that a half million dollar budgeted slasher film was going to launch several sequels, give Paramount a substantial paycheck and would be loved for multiple generations.

So let's set the story shall we? An ambitious young man Steve Christy (Peter Brouwer of Love of Life, Friday the 13^th, As the World Turns, One Life to Live, All My Children, Arthur and Person of Interest) decides to buy up the property of Camp Crystal Lake and get this camp back up to specs for kids to come out for the summer and get out of their parents' hair and maybe learn a few things about the wild.

His counselors/clean-up crew consists of: easy going Jack (Kevin Bacon of Animal House, Footloose, Quicksilver, She's Having a Baby, Tremors, Flatliners, Queens Logic, JFK, A Few Good Men, Wild Things and Stir of Echoes), wise cracking smart ass Ned (Mark Nelson of Friday the 13^th, Bloodhounds of Broadway, The Seventh Coin, The First Wives Club, Suddenly Susan, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Spin City and Law & Order: Criminal Intent) good girl Alice (Adrienne King of Inherit the Wind, Between the Lines, Saturday Night Fever, Hair, What's Eating Gilbert Grape and All American Bully), sweet Marcie (Jeannie Taylor of Friday the 13^th and The Royal Romance of Charles and Diana), no nonsense Brenda (Laurie Bartram of Another World, Emergency!, The House of Seven Corpses and Friday the 13^th) and cool and collective Bill (Harry Crosby of Riding for the Pony Express, Friday the 13^th, The Private History of a Campaign That Failed, Double Trouble and Hollow Venus: Diary of a Go-Go Dancer). The spunky cook, Annie (Robbi Morgan of What's the Matter with Helen?, Friday the 13^th, Forbidden Love, The Fall Guy, I Married a Centerfold, Dutch Hollow and The Sub) didn't know the dangers of hitchhiking or Camp Crystal Lake.

Whaddua mean I look like John Holmes in a yellow slicker?

Thankfully we get the first appearance of Crazy Ralph (Walt Gorney of Heavy Traffic, Cops and Robbers, King Kong, Day of the Animals, Nunzio, Friday the 13^th, Endless Love, Trading Places, Easy Money, Seize the Day and Friday the 13^th Part VII: The New Blood) who creepily warns her of the impeding doom of Camp Crystal Lake and really got his message out.

Slowly but surely, the cast starting getting weeded out like so much chaff from the wheat but on this dark and stormy night, it is not uncommon for the phones to be down, or the generator to suddenly stop working or the cast to separate like the herd of derp they have become.

Is there a smart one among them? Will sex, drugs and booze assure their tombstones?? Who is the killer??

Really a quick trip to the local library (No Google then, the savages) would have pointed out issues of Camp Blood as the was a boy that drowned in the lake in 1957, some counselors that were murdered in 1958, unexplained fires and even an attempt to reopen the camp in 1962, the water was bad. That last one is vague. Algae perhaps? Rivers of blood? Dead bodies floating to the surface? That stinky smell of dead raccoon?

Any rate to point out the impact this film had is YET ANOTHER remake, reboot, re-imagining is trying to go under way for 2017 after the less than satisfactory remake in 2009 with a failed concept by then Tommy Jarvis (Corey Feldman of Friday the 13^th Part 4: The Final Chapter) who stated he wanted to have a match of of Jason vs Jarvis and that was in talks and develop since 2012 and went nowhere. Apparently fans begged for this and Feldman felt obligated to at least try. Sorry Corey, guess the studio didn't see it the magnum opus that Freddy vs Jason was.   Gah, what a unflushable turd that flick managed to be.

Ax her anything, she won't respond. 

Friday the 13th: The Lost Tales of Camp Blood

Hey gang. Quick question. What do you know about Friday the 13^th? Now I am sure most of you know about the undead, mongoloid hillbilly, Jason Vorhees but what do you know of Crystal Lake? For more than 3 decades we have stories linked directly to this small body of water and the Jason murders but did Jason just start right after Part 1? Many writers that love the slasher subgenre speculated since they went with him witnessing his mommy's death, that he just roamed the forest, living off vegetation and animals but what about any witnesses to his existence?

In 2009, Paramount Productions released the 8 films of the franchise on what they called the Ultimate Collection with statistics on the victims, body count, whether the kids were getting drunk, high or just sexing it up, trivia facts and even weapons used. What interested me overall of this set was a series of short stories and links to the original source material. This is Lost Tales from Camp Blood.

This chiropractor is very hands on.

Starting as a special feature, these stories are all based around the news clippings referenced around all the latter films giving an air of eerie to this region of the country...when logically the townsfolk should just move and get the Ghostfinders in to exorcise the hell out of that lake. These tales of dread are suppose to happen prior to the second or possibly the third film but the clothes, sets, haircuts really don't reflect that well enough. Harry Manfreni's theme and original scores are heard throughout the six-part story arc and the film looks like it was shot on Hi-Def camcorder. The Cannon XLH1 mini 35 with the Optar Super-Speed Prime Lenses giving it almost 35mm look translated from HDV. So for the sake of everyone's sanity let's put this around th 7^th film, The New Blood so Telekinetic Tina can have a business moving furniture.

Bleh, no more whiskey shots and darts again!

Our first part of the series is simply a couple sleeping peacefully in a cabin around the region only to get visited by a be-jumpsuited psycho that disembowels them and just wanders out of said home. Not a lot of dialogue needed written there aside from, "Is someone there?" "Billy, what was that noise?" and popular trope "This isn't funny". Our horrific assailant's face is never shown and kept in the shadows but exhibits terrifying amounts of almost supernatural strength. Hmm, Michael Myers perhaps? Nah, that would mean having to leave Illinois/California. Our second story catches right up with the previous the next morning with blood spatters all over the walls and puddles of the victims' fluids drained into the carpet. Camp Counselors Sarah and Eric try calling Mark and Amy but no answer. They're dead tired, kids. Yeah I slapped myself for the bad joke.

Naturally since the car was McGuffined, we have to go hiking to Mark and Amy's place. That's just common sense. No need to backtrack down the road you were driving from, hit a gas station, get the car towed and looked at. Nosirree. That's just crazy talk! Hell I was just stunned California still had payphones. Our actors play the parts and offer a decent performance of the type cast cookie cutter personifications of humans because...well that is all they are usually given in a slasher flick. Quality production from blocking to practical FX. Well done from cast and crew.

The theme continues the anthology of the Killer chasing after the Survivor story that has been in the slasher subgenre since it was conceived. I think the slight drawback to this is you can pretty much predict when the Killer will strike and it does throw off your viewing a bit but if you just allow yourself to view it as though you have never seen a slasher flick then you will enjoy it.

Your six-parter got so much love from the fan base that Ceperley cut it as a full-length short film in case you didn't want the original Paramount special edition collection with the two pairs of 3-D glasses (Screw your other friends and family I guess) and detailed 8 page booklet explaining nuances about the films.

Written and directed by Andrew Ceperley (known primarly as a cinematographer and visual effects supervisor for Football Is a Way of Life: The Making of Varsity Blues, Villains of Star Trek, Bing Crosby Christmas Crooner, The Crystal Lake Massacre Revisted and Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy) puts him in the path as a research nut for Horror and makes him a prime candidate to directing short stories of Jason's mayhem. An amusing bit of trivia here. Principal photography was in a canyon above Pasadena California but most of it was shot in Palo Verdes and then to Redono Beach for the practical makeup FX shots.

It's bloody, no ridiculous amounts of jiggly girl nudity and really meshes well with the Vorhees mythos establishing kills the locals don't even know about...presumably Jason discards their collective clothes and hides the vehicles they travel in. Like a one man Wrong Turn super mutant inbred hillbilly. Sorry Wrong Turn, but Jason is the original undead mongoloid hillbilly.

Miss, you dropped your keys a mile back.

Friday the 13th Part III

Howdy all. Well I went through the archives of moi and didn't find this particular sequel in the mix. Our favorite antagonist that ran about with a potato sack slicing and squashing twenty somethings playing teenagers as a bloodbath ensues. How will this pan out? This is Friday the 13^th Part III.

I sense impeding doom...hmm, oh well.

Directed by Steve Miner (Friday the 13^th Part II, Night of the Creeps, House, Warlock, Elvis, Forever Young, Against the Grain, My Father the Hero, Halloween H20: 20 Years Later and Lake Placid) this film is literally the next day thus being Saturday the 14^th and that is a crappy movie. A new group of co-eds on vacation off to a cabin by Crystal Lake...where they past cops, ambulances and city workers of that nature. No bells in the head going off? Spidey senses ringing a bit?

Jason injured profusely by the previous encounters and not the zombie/mongoloid/hillbilly resurrection that we have come to know and love. Sneaking into a crappy lakefront store for some clothes and a replacement mask via potato sack. Richard Brooker now the third man to pick up the machete/pitchfork/bare hands whatever played Oghris in Deathstalker is best known for. With the flashbacks of Ginny and Paul recapping the film prior do give content and credibility.

One of our soon-to-be victims is a jokester Shelly (Larry Zerner of Fame, New Love,American Style, Hadley's Rebellion, Knights of Badassdom, Found and The Epidemic) has wacky gags, props and some masks. Of these is the iconic hockey mask claimed from his victim and used to hide his ridiculous mongoloid face that morphs into a zombified state for years to come but forever hidden away. 

Hey folks, I'm yer next-door neighbor.

Slaughtering hippies, bikers and teeny boppers brings about some of the same goodness of the original two also bringing a bit of depth into Chris (Dana Kimmell of Days of Our Lives, Sweet 16, Lone Wolf McQuade and Night Angel) and a connection to Jason prior but yes it is a bit trope ridden but this was the 80s is allowed as they are the building blocks of the slasher subgenre. What makes this stands out of the series this was part of the 3-D franchise prevalent in the early 80s. Will Chris and her friends survive this nightmare? How many bodies will pile up?

A few points of trivia with this film. The house, barn, and lake were made on location. The lake wasn't properly sealed so the water damaged the soil of the first week of filming. This flick cleared $36 million against a budget of 4 million. With a body count of 12 and the fact this was Paramount's first 3-D flick since Ulysses (in 1954) 28 years prior, this is one of the few films that did not address him as Jason at all. NOT...ONCE...

Initially there was a call for the script draft they were going to have Ginny in a psychiatric hospital confined there awaiting Jason to get her murdering the staff and other patients in the hospital but it was too close to Halloween II being too similar.

I SAID I NEED A RIDE UPSTATE!!!!

Happy Friday the 13th...Part 3??

Heya folks.  Just wanted to say enjoy the warmer climate this day and when you are all done with your errands, going for a walk or jog or even taking the kids out for some fun in the sun, give Paramount's greater money generator a little love and watch some of the Friday the 13th flicks or even *Gasp* the TV series.

Hey kids!!  No hanky panky around me or I'll kill ya!

With that in mind horror fans, what is your favorite kill scene in the Friday the 13th franchise?  Some were quite creative, while others felt static and lacking in texture or form.  Leave me a message!

Hope Mom doesn't find my porno stash after I am dead...  Gaahh...

Grab Bag Week Returns: Jason X

And welcome the last day of Grab Bag Week and what review of mine would be complete without mentioning at least one cheeseball horror movie?   A promise of 8 years after Jason Voorhees was sent to Hell the fans’ last image of him was his mask being snared with Freddy Kruger’s knife imbued glove, hinting that a showdown between the two monsters was well on its way.  Well that’s not the film we are enduring today.  So grab a flashlight, have some premarital sex and some booze.  This is Jason X.

PREMARTIAL SEX BAD!! Grrr!!!  Yarrr!!!

They won’t die! These Spoilers just won’t die!









The late director James Issac (The Horror Show, Skinwalkers and Pig Hunt) and writer Todd Farmer (The Messengers, My Bloody Valentine remake and Drive Angry) bonked their heads together and spewed this bit of dreck on the big screen with a decent budget.  Yeah that’s right kids I am talking about Jason in SpaAaaaAaceeeee!!!  Ahem, for those of you not in the knowing and count your lucky soul; we open our movie in 2015 after somehow Crystal Lake has a research center opened up, with no loss of construction workers, personnel or civvies getting eviscerated, broken, snapped or disemboweled with a trowel by Jason (Kane Hodder of Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood, Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan, Daredevil, Hatchet and Hatchet 2) ; as he is resting in Hell more than a decade.   Oops, plot sink hole?  So some elite cadre of Special Forces somehow captured Jason and had him in chains.  An argument for the behest of Jason’s remains is between Rowan (Lexa Doig of Tek War, Andromeda and Stargate: SG-1) the “Jason” expert and Dr Wimmer (David Cronenberg: director of Scanners, Videodrome, The Dead Zone and the Fly) some scientist of genetic manipulation and more sci-fi based babble claimed Jason Voorhees some regenerative ability so clearly we should restrain him and keep only one guard that doesn't look old enough to shave.

Yeah kids the first Friday the 13th onscreen murder in 8 years and…no we don’t even get to see it.  No sooner do the soldiers find Jason, he goes sickhouse on the lot and only Rowan left she freezes Jason in a cryogenic chamber and naturally trapped with him in a deep freeze.

Owww, my contacts!!!!  VISINE STAT!!!!!

A little over 400 years later both Rowan and Voorhees is discovered in said chamber, Jason looks like he is in an industrial ice machine the far off way of 2015 tech; this group of young students and teacher decide to take both Rowan and Jason back to their spaceship and save them.

Now let’s us step back for a moment and review.  Big hulking masked guy with a machete in his hand and slight and petite girl on the floor with a stab wound. Hmm, I wonder what to do.  Faster that you can say get the hell out of there, the door knobs revive the “Jason” expert and she begins warning them over and over channeling her inner Ripley at half the height, she is scoffed and yes you guessed Jason awakes and proceeds to make meat patties out of a few of the students but hey worry ye not smarter kids.  We have our own squad of pseudo colonial marines that travel with us and they’ll take this boyo on.

With their Doom stolen weapons title of BFGs (Big F**king Guns).   Very little was done to train these people with in military precision,  couple of days with an off duty S.W.A.T. Commander maybe but no; it’s nitwits with guns.
Suffice to say I am not impressed with Todd Farmer’s writing thus far and it is not even remotely possible I ever will be.   Decent usage of CGI effects and the death scenes were fairly elaborate but all in all we really didn't break new ground here.  Apparently the key notion is do NOT take a killer into space or you get straight-to-DVD results.

Stupid gun!  I better get a pitchfork or kitchen knife!

Happy Friday the 13th!!!!

For all you Pamela and Jason fans out there, for those who love crappy dialogue, jiggly girls put to death in bizarre ways.  For the few of us struggling to find a plot, rhyme or reason why the undead, hillbilly mongoloid still roams Camp Crystal Lake.  We salute you!!!

Can Tommy come out and play?