TV Titanics: Supernatural Season 6

And we are back. Sorry for the very insanely short week of Cult Classics. Aside from random WiFi I have no real connection until funds get to me and I get Cox Cable up and running. Bright side is I am out at a coffee shop scrolling down the events of this season. TV Titanics is the name of the week. Hey more than welcome to come up with better titles as I check on those wacky hunters, the Brothers of Winchester. This is Supernatural Season 6.

Beer is best enjoyed in a flashback.. That's just science.

A quick highlight as Sam and Dean managed to get Lucifier into his cage it meant Sam had to go with him as he was possessed by Michael. Oh and their half brother was possessed by the Morningstar as well. Yup lot of CGI, practical effects, wire work and me wondering how Dean can even walk let alone hunt as both fellas are dragged to the Pit. Dean is all alone with a lovely lady Lisa (Cindy Sampson of Supernatural, Being Human, Charlie Zone, Camion, Long Gone Day, Rookie Blue, Rogue and Private Eyes) and her son Ben trying to lead the "Apple Pie" life he and Sam laughed about ever having. He's a grease monkey, a surrogate dad and a decent man to Lisa buUuuUuut....this is Supernatural so creatures, ghoulies and ghasts are bound to be afoot.

Oh no, Father Kibbler is under the possession of the evil lamp!

Being unable to sleep after having Lisa for the night (Still confused on the having energy afterwards) Dean thinks he noticed something and is in fact attacked by of all things, a Djinn (Genie) and no it is nowhere near as friendly as the late Robin Williams genie. Less pop culture references too. Dean is saved by of all people, Sam?! Sayeth Whaaaat???!!! Sam proceeds to tell Dean he got out of the Pit a little over a year ago and thought it best to just continue hunting but not drag big brother back into it.

So he hooks up with the Campbells (Their mother's side of the family) with a couple of cousins Gwen (Jessica Heafey of Ciao Bella, Four Extraordinary Women, M.V.P., Supernatural, Baby Sellers, FSM, Homeworld: Deserts of Kharak and iZombie), Mark (David Paetkau of Final Destination 2, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, Man of Steel, Flashpoint and The Space Between) and Christian (Corin Nemec of Tucker: The Man and His Dream, Parker Lewis Can't Lose, Drop Zone, Stargate SG-1, Mansquito, Dragon Wasps, Rise of the Dinosaurs, Robocroc, Sand Sharks, Lake Placid vs. Anaconda, Star Trek: Renegades and Renegades). Oh yeah and the man in charge of this hunting hootenany is Sam's namesake, Samuel Campbell (Mitch Pileggi of Three O' Clock High, Return of the Living Dead II, Alien Nation, Falcon Crest, Dallas, The X-Files, Supernatural, Stargate Atlantis, The Batman, Sons of Anarchy and Kings of Con) who died before either of the boys where born...is on his feet directing battle and barking orders. Huh?

That was no raccoon.

Nobody is questioning Sam being alive or Samuel back from the grave or what in tarnation is a goin' on??!! So Castiel checks in on the brothers and asks for their help as it would appear that some of the more dangerous artifacts of Heaven have gone missing. Maybe sold off, maybe tossed about for the talking monkeys to find, who can say for certain? With vampires rampant, mysterious deaths, a few demons here and there, the boys are quite busy and yeah Cas has long since earned their trust.

Crowley (Mark Sheppard of Soldier of Fortune, Inc, Sliders, Firefly, 24, Burn Notice, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who, Leverage, White Collar, Warehouse 13 and MacGyver) still teasing and tormenting Bobby Singer but he will work away around losing his soul plus pimp slap Crowley as well. Bobby is a sharp cookie. This season brings something the others did not and the closeness of the brothers,the elder monsters (or the first of their kind) are coming to a head, the disturbing thought of being a husk (soulless body) and some fairy tale creatures as well. Well done Season 6, well done indeed.

That does not seem like proper child health care.

Erratic Viewings: Friday the 13th (2009)

Welcome back to Erratic Views Week...that isn't really a week planned persay. Well it is finally here. I am caving into this request and subjecting myself reprising to the horrors that is music video and feature film director Marcus Nispel (Janet Jackson: Design of a Decade 1986/1996, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Frankenstein, Pathfinder, Conan the Barbarian and Exeter). Allow me to elaborate. I sat the 2003 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and was bored to tears. Sadly the only upside to this movie was Jessica Biel in a wife beater undershirt in the rain maker. Yup, one sexist pig thought and that was its only redeeming value.   Conan wasn't bad.   Thought Momoa did a good job, Stephen Lang was a bit over the top but nothing was as tragic is accepting tiny Rose McGowan as a demonic sorceress. So with this all in mind, once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; This is Friday the 13^th.

So the rain soaking all yer bits? Sorry hun.

We flashback to the far past of 1980!!!! Why, they had payphones, Sony Walkmans and Atari 2600!

So we look on to primitive humanity as Pamela Vorhees (Nana Visitor of One Life to Live, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Dark Angel, Wildfire, The Resident and Torchwood) apparently has cleaned house and no Adrienne King to lop her head off. Or is there? Yeah so the last counselor is dealt with and mongoloid toddler Jason finds mom dead and then fade to modern day. Such story telling skills! Enter our collective twenty something chuckleheads!!!

Wade (Jonathan Sadowski of American Dreams, Pool Guys, She's the Man, Live Free or Die Hard, $#*! My Dad Says and Young & Hungry), Whitney (Amanda Righetti of Pipeline, Return to House on Haunted Hills, Role Models, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Mentalist and Colony), Richie (Ben Feldman of The Perfect Man, Cloverfield, Friday the 13^th, As Above, So Below, Silicon Valley and Superstore) Mike (Nick Mennell of My Little Eye, Halloween, The Lost Tribe, Friday the 13^th, Southland, Bad Parents and Crossbones) and Amanda (America Olivo of The Thirst: Blood War, Friday the 13^th, Neighbor, The Last Resort, Bitch Slap, Maniac, Chicago P.D. , Defiance and Mission: Impossible- Rogue Nation).

Well beats a potato sack, I suppose.

What is our trope troop doing out in these foreign and dangerous woods??? Looking for cannabis. Yup weed hunt. So they can score large quantities I guess. One of the doofs claims this is the best region for such and if he did so much research to that why the f*ck didn't he know about gruesome murders 30 years prior??!! Oh what's that? Oh he knows it happened and he got this all second hand. Brillant. The power of exposition tells us in a very half-assed way about a lone counselor took out Pamela, Jason got her eventually and no real even hint to why or how Jason rose from the dead.

So spoilers, the party gets butchered like pigs except Amanda because...she has a passing resemblance to mommy?? So clearly chain her up and keeps her forevers and evers. Yeah Jason's brain functions have always been in question but hey it's new?? Worry not guys, there's bouncing boobies. You're welcome.

I think Dean's not telling me everything.  I dunno.

Six weeks later, more cannon fodder comes to Crystal Lake to...screw...drink...smoke a spliff and die. Yeah I know I gave away the formula so carefully guarded all these years. Trent (Travis Van Winkle of Accepted, Transformers, Friday the 13^th and The Last Ship) and his buds all go to his parents' summer cabin for beer, bonding and bootyah!!! Ugh. Trent's lady friend Jenna (Danielle Panabaker of Sky High, Empire Falls, Piranha 3DD, Bones, Necessary Roughness, Justified, This Isn't Funny, Arrow and The Flash) encounters a strapping stork of a fellow name of Clay (Jared Padalecki of Gilmore Girls, Flight of the Phoenix, House of Wax, House of Fears, Supernatural, Friday the 13^th, Supernatural: The Animation and Phantom Boy) rocking his proper Sam Winchester hairdo and not his Prince Adam coif from House of Wax. Clay is out searching for his sister Whitney and I really wanted to help him but have not yet mastered the Bugs Bunny/She-Hulk/Deadpool breaking of the fourth wall so he will just have to settle for Jenna's help as she needed some air, be away from douchey boyfriend and aid others in their time of need. No offense to Winkle there but Sammy boy is vastly prettier.

Jason (Derek Mears of Cursed, The Hills Have Eyes II, Dragon Wars: D-War, Hellbinders, Predators, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Hatchet III, Grimm as the Krampus and True Blood) dispenses with the usual hide and go seek and gets right to doing our party goers in. Dinking around in the forest, Jenna and Clay head into the former Crystal Lake cabin area to see Jason dragging a body of which, you know you never really saw that much in the originals. You saw them propped up or tossed through a window or my favorite, strung up in a tree but yeah not a lot of the prop building seminar. Will Jenna and Clay make it out??? Can they find Whitney???

Okay the rants begin. So rather than the traditional Harry Manfredi music and given Michael Bay production, they went with the so-so composer Steve Jablonsky (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hitcher, Transformers, Dragon Wars: D-War, Gears of War 2, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Transformers: War for Cybertron and Battleship). So it's either hyper-testosterone driven FPS and third-person games or loads of horror remakes. The film itself is professionally done as in lighting, sound, editing and acting buuuuuut.... the story just feels like the first three original flicks dropped in a blender and hit frappe. No real story is explored, the dialogue is painful and these "characters" are for the most part one dimensional. It's Texas Chainsaw Recon all over again!!!! Actually Panabaker and Padalecki are the only ones with decent and feasible dialogue.

Loads of questions come to mind. Who killed Pamela?!? Why were these deaths in 1980 never investigated??? How has Jason's body somehow be preserved all this time?? How come the power company hasn't shut off the power to an long since abandoned summer camp? Where in the nine hells did he get the hockey mask!?! I saw no Shelly roaming around with a mask. Do the locals not believe in exorcising the lake or getting liquored up, grabbing rifles and shotguns going on a Vorhees hunt?? Why did the title appear 23 minutes into the film?! What about Scarecrow's brain!?! WHO THE HELL IS THE MUFFIN MAN!???!

Sadly our film was brought us by the writers of Freddy vs Jason. In acknowledgement of this suffering, I will be the better man and not give out their names nor will I google their home addresses for you to wreak deadly vengeance on them. Of course you could IMDB them by title alone and then google them but again, must be the better man. Okay rant ended.

Gurgle...

As the Season Goes On: Supernatural Season 3

Howdy all for Day 3 of As the Season Goes On. Well this particular series I have been laxed in and for that again I apologize. Not that I like the love of the show, it hasn't been on my radar for a while and I have mostly focused on movies. I refer to the brothers Winchester and I have not covered anything since they did battle with the demon Azazel, the yellow eyed demon that set the boys and their father on their demon hunting path. The crucible that ignited their crusade. This is Supernatural Season 3.

Psst, Dean. Don't drop the soap.

Cruising around America in their dad's 1967 Chevy Impala and using his journal on creatures that go bump in the night, Sam (Jared Padalecki of Gilmore Girls, Supernatural, House of Wax, Friday the 13^th and Supernatural: The Animation) and Dean (Jensen Ackles of Dark Angel, Dawson's Creek, Smallville, My Bloody Valentine, Batman: Under the Red Hood and Supernatural: The Animation) Winchester are back on the road, finding evil and giving it a serious ass whipping. Tracking down the demons that were released from Hell from last season. Throughout the season the befriend a demon name of Ruby (Katie Cassidy of 7^th Heaven, Taken. Supernatural, Harper's Island, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Gossip Girl and Arrow) who claims she has some wiggle room for Dean who sold his soul to bring Sam back to life.

The boys have kicked over a hornet's nest and need a bit of help from their father's friend, expert creature slayer and madcap researcher Bobby Singer (Jim Beaver of Day Break, John of Cincinnati, Harper's Island, Justified, NCIS and Supernatural) to bounce ideas, hang out and watch each others backs. With Ruby's assistance, she speaks with Sam on stopping Lilith (Sierra McCormick of Land of the Lost, Ramona and Beezus, A Nanny for Christmas and A.N.T. Farm) from unleashing Hell on Earth. Dean feels the best source of info is a retired hunter named Rufus (Steven Williams of The Blues Brothers, 21 Jump Street, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, L.A. Heat, Stargate SG-1, Richard III and 22 Jump Street) in best dealing these creatures. The guys are up into their eyeballs in malefic creatures as they chase the personifications of the Seven Deadly Sins.

A hot, blonde demoness? Yeah, that can't be trouble.

With demons, werewolves, changelings and creatures of fae running amok, the guys are dealing with the secrets each of them keep from one another, the loss of their father and the struggles against the forces of darkness. They also run into Bela Talbot (Lauren Cohan of Casanova, Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj, Death Race 2 and The Walking Dead), a collector of magically imbued artifacts for profit or her own means but she and the boys do not see eye to eye with her means and results.

Will the boys manage to keep things on this blue and green marble status quo? Will Hell rule the Earth?

A few comments on the season now.

This season introduces what will later become an addition to the series the Ghostfacers. Extremely unstable vampire hunter Gordon Walker (Sterling K Brown) reprises his role and Jeffrey Dean Morgan appears as John in a dream sequence. This season was cut short 6 episodes due to the 2007-2008 Writers Guild of America strike so we missed out on the return of Ellen Harvelle (Samantha Ferris) so thanks for that, guys.

Ackles auditions for Phantasm??