Ossorio Week: Night of the Seagulls

Day 4 of Ossorio week and things may be looking up as we journey into the final installment of the Blind Dead series.  Will there be terror?  Will there be dread and chaos?  Will jiggly girls dominate the screen?  Will there be a decent plot and I and talking about a cemetery.   Strap yourselves in, make peace with your deity and hold on tight!   This is Night of the Seagulls a.k.a. La noche de las gaviotas

Pesky Mormons at the door!

Spoilers raaann… they ran so far awaaaaaaayyyyy…

We open our film with… you guessed it, a flashback sequence.  Seems to be the theme set from the second opus Return of the Blind Dead so this could mean we are in for some thrills and blood spills.   If it has a faster pace than the third film I am all in favor.    Our location is in Cataluna Spain with its various ruins and monasteries for excellent background, already a step up for a cheesy alleged 16^th century Spanish Galleon that the Scooby gang would have torched.    An aide, presumably the guard of a noblewoman scouts on ahead to see if there is any danger in the night, and yes it is shot at night with a decent lighting array.   Yay!  Budget increased!!    In travel to this little village the man is slain almost immediately by the then live Knights Templar and the lady is to be (dun dun dun) sacrificed.   Not sure if that means the fair sex is more appealing to demons and rites of that nature or if it is just blatant sexism.   Take your pick.   The tone of the movie is already set at the 8 minute mark; in that there will clearly be a coherent storyline again.   With clearly an off-screen dismemberment and some impressive body part props I think we may be in for a horror movie after all. Yay again! 

Psst.. you fart?

500 years later… back at the same quaint little fishing village, Dr. Henry Stein (Victor Petit of Topical Spanish, Hora once, La respuesta, Clara es el precio and Trampa sexual) and wife Joan (Maria Kosty of The Family, Fine, Thanks, El divorcio que viene, Las chicas del bingo and My Friend Washington) are moving in as clearly his practice will not only be necessary but welcomed.     The town acts a bit standoffish and the Steins are a bit at a loss for words.   Might have helped their case if they didn’t announce how drab the town looked and clearly the inhabitants are primitive savages.  That's a lousy bedside manner, doctor.   Henry is quick to anger and clearly when good cheer doesn’t get you your way there is always manhandling.    After finding the elder doctor’s house Henry and Joan are invited in and the elder doctor looks more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. 

We got some eerie music with a range of electric guitar and synthesizer to set the mood.   Sadly the Steins didn’t find a Crazy Ralph archetype to warn them off with mentions of a death curse or they would be spinning that Yugo outta there.   Henry sees the old doctor out via burrow and the elderly fellow tells him to not to pry into the town and never go out at night.   Abandoning the story arc created by Horror of the Zombies, Night of the Seagulls seems to bring all that was lacking in the third film such as: the shrouded horses, terrified villagers and in general well executed jump scares.  A little bit of stock footage from the first two movies is spliced and hell who can blame them when they looked as menacing as they did.

 It seems the Knights Templar now called roughly the Knights of the sea, and yet they escape their tombs riding out every seven years for seven nights to demand a sacrifice of a young maiden.   The kicker is the village seems to be perfectly fine with this notion that the lot of them garbed in black as some sort of cult straight out of H.P. Lovecraft’s The Shadow Over Innsmouth.  So fine with it that the villagers themselves with a dark chapter of the lottery here, the Steins and Teddy (Jose Antonio Calvo of El mercenario II, Evilio, Torrente 2: Mission in Marbella and Torrente 4) the village punching bag/idiot finds out that one of the girls slated for sacrifice is Lucy (Sandra Mozarowsky of The Book of Good love 2, Beatriz, Hitler’s Last Train and Mortal Sin), a maid of all trades that frankly I really don’t know what her job title is.   Nevertheless her countless…um days of compassion and assistance must not be wasted.  On to save young Lucy!  

Fellas, we eat tonight!

The filmstock looks immaculate.  Not the hopeless grainy of the third film but a good solid print and of course the option of English voice dubbed or subtitles is presented.  Highly recommend the subtitles.  You get a better inflection in the tone of emotional states and hey you may learn a little Spanish.   No guarantees.   For some reason due to the windy cliffs our cult masses begin around 5 in the afternoon and are edited with late night shots.   Lighting may have been a bit of a hassle.  Getting a far amount of generators to run that many lights plus anchoring them down somehow.    Not quite as impressive as the first two but definitely a decent capper from the 3^rd.    Maybe we can just view Horror of the Zombies as the Highlander 2 of the Blind Dead.

Amando Ossorio Week: Horror of the Zombies

Back again boys and girls as we trek further into our Blind Dead tetralogy.   The opening credits start us off with the same Gregorian chant yet again and I will be buggered if I know what they speak of.   I have it on good authority that there will be some surprises in store for us this time around.   So saddle up, settle in and get ready for this whirlwind of excitement.   This is Horror of the Zombies a.k.a. El buque maldito.

Tee hee!

A’ vast maties there be spoilers on this voyage of the damned!

Moving our location we find ourselves away from Portugal and on the happening streets of Madrid and it’s fashion week…in Madrid…didn’t know that was a port of call for such so I will just smile, nod and sally forth.     We see that world of modeling through the eyes of Noemi (Barbara Rey of El chulo, Zorrita Martinez, Rostros and Vampiresas) as she is looking for her missing roommate Kathy.  Her last known location was with her employer Lillian (Maria Perschy of Man’s Favorite Sport?, 633 Squadron, House of Psychotic Women, Fox Hunt and The People Who Own the Dark), a woman so cold to the touch you could keep a side of beef in her for a month.    Lillian states that Kathy (Blanca Estrada of I Hate My Body, Suesualidad, The Book of Good Love, Las locuras de Jane and Mystery on Monster Island) no doubt is a typical dumb girl and is shirking her responsibilities and shoos Noemi away.   Noemi threatens to call the police and Lillian looks genuinely nervous.   Later that day, Lillian explains to Noemi that Kathy is fine and in a boat in the Atlantic with another model partaking in a publicity stunt for a sportswear advertising campaign.   Yeah I am stumped how that helps the shareholders too folks.   

Curse you, He-Man!

 Say, wasn't there supposed to be Knights Templar in this flick?  This is where the story sort of detracts from the story presence of the second film.  With a foundation of explaining who the Knights are, what is their purpose and overall goals this film does a 180 and just leaves you thinking, “I really could be doing the laundry now.”   Methinks the producers or money lenders had too much influence and said, “Hey we want to see jiggly girls in bikinis!”    Ossorio went on record during his interview/documentary that he was less than satisfied with this film so you can be assured there will be some chop in the waters already.

Getting back to our riveting story, entrepreneur Howard Tucker (Jack Taylor of The Vampires’ Night Orgy, Call of the Blonde Goddess, Conan the Barbarian, Panther Squad and The Sea Serpent), sporting goods mogul hired both Kathy and second model for this brilliant concept to bring vast media attention as they are…out in the sea by a main shipping route.  Tee hee girlies all defenseless and in need of rescue.    I really do not get the crux of this plan but Tucker is convinced this will net him millions, since his car didn’t do so well.  Oh wait.. that was Jeff Bridges’ movie.  Boy that sounds much better to watch.   The girls report in every other hour via CB to inform us they are fine but this time around they see in the *ahem* Fog an ancient Spanish Galleon that crashes into their little speedboat.  They are forced to climb aboard as they are many miles from civilization.  Such awesome power does the ship emit, that it can turn day into night.  And more Fog than the Carpenter flick and yet it is less dense than the models.

Jazz Hands fail!

With no communication since their last contact, Noemi threatens to go to the press and Tucker’s henchman locks her up and collars her to a cot.  Yeah so now endangerment to human life, fraud and kidnapping is the order of the day.   For a business mogul Tucker seems a bit dumb.  Clearly he needs to just take Noemi for a little drive that ends with her in a trash compactor but hey I can only do so much for the guy.   Tucker and Lillian go to the girls’ aid after making a stop at the University for an expert on 16^th century Galleons.   Keep in mind the description of the ship was so vague it bordered on a big boat.  

33 minutes go by with a tick tock of the slowest clock and finally a hint that the Knights Templar are even in this fricking movie.  OVER A HALF HOUR!!!!!   The pathetic attempt at a back story for almost every character except the ship’s parrot just drug on.   The parrot didn’t get much of a speaking part and was a womanizing booze hound. 

The production quality went really downhill, the lighting with fog looks atrocious, I feel like I watching a Scooby Doo mystery…with implied rape, slow pacing and death scenes that takes ages to start.  Yes it is about the same level grisly kills but it just felt forced.  Yes somehow we’re supposed to forget Tucker’s henchman clearly attacked Noemi prior to this rescue attempt.     That’s all for now folks.   Here’s hoping number 4 is a vast improvement.

Amando Ossorio Week:Return of the Blind Dead

Back again kiddies for Day two of Ossorio week as we journey further with a look at the continuation of the Blind Dead series. The story may just bring some new developments.   So get warm and snug in your sleeping bags and listen the tales of high adventure.  This is Return of the Blind Dead a.k.a. El ataque de los muertos sin ojos.

Spoilers can be an inconvenience….

Spa treatments of the 13th Century

Our film opens with of all things a flashback to 13^th century Bouzano, Portugal.  An unruly mob of peasants of captured the Templar Knights and only by using sheer numbers.   The villagers plan on condemning these men for heresy, witchcraft and murder.   One of the knights swears revenge on the village for their persecution and you have to see the irony in that, now don’t you?    Prior to their deaths by fire each of the knights’ eyes are burned out via torch, on the off chance they can in fact raise themselves from the dead and seek bloody retribution. Then they are treated to a little fire, Scarecrow as they roasted alive.  I do not claim to be an authority on chainmail or a historian but the cloaks over the chainmail of our knights… well I can see the stitch patterns.  So it was either the work of demons from the Underworld or a Singer stitched it up hastily

    After that festive and happy scene we crank forward 500 years into the future as the village prepares for the anniversary since the Knights were defeated and the best way I know how to break into a celebration is to hurl stones at the village idiot.  Yes a gaggle of youngsters feel that is truly the best greeting for Murdo (Jose Canalejas of Django (1966 version), A Professional Gun, Horror Express, If You Shoot… You Live! And The Standard) the crippled buffon fends off stones until Monica (Loreta Tovar of Night of the Sorcerers, The Sinister Eyes of Dr. Orloff and When the Screaming Stops) and Juan with his Manos, Hands of Fate handlebar mustache (Jose Thelman of Tombs of the Blind Dead, Night of the Sorcerers, When the Screaming Stops and Night of the Werewolf) shoo the little scamps away. 

Due to extreme recycling laws, kick the can is replaced with Kick the Murdo

Back in town square fireworks technician and former military captain Jack Marlowe (Tony Kendall of The Big Bust Out, They Were Called Three Musketeers But They Were Four, When the Screaming Stops, Giant of the 20^th Century, Cop or Hood and Thrilling Love) converses with the Mayor (Fernando Sancho of I Was a Parish Priest, The Return of Ringo and The Big Gundown) his secretary/fiancée Vivian (Esperanza Roy of The Girl of the Nile, The Garden of Delights, It Happened at Nightmare Inn and The Book of Good Love 2) and Dacosta (, The mayor’s faithful man servant er um I mean aide.   With an expedient backstory, you get the feeling of bad blood between Mayor Duncan and Marlowe as it would appear they love the same woman.  Gasp a love triangle!  Well we all know that will end with quiet, dignity and grace.

Vivian and Marlowe go for a walk in the region as they just happen to stop by the very same ruins were the Knights Templar is buried.   Murdo spies on them making out and then speaks of the legend of Knights Templar.  After they both scoff at him he makes a blood sacrifice of one of the local girls in order to raise our nefarious Knights and bring death and destruction to all those who mocked him.   From flashbacks to current rampages this entire movie has taught me if you an attractive girl you will be topless, stabbed and receive the Mola Ram heart treatment.

 Lot of tight pan zooms and really impressive handheld work here and in 1973 that means they were still using thePFX_Gll Panaflex that still was a load and lug up these hilly terrains.  Possibly Vista Vision but they would have had to pry that from Paramount.  Similar to the anamorphic lens getting high residue shoots with a wide scope shot.   The outcome is a bit more plot, depth in the story from the first but a bit more graphic deaths and yet a far amount of topless shots.  I still feel bad for Ossorio not getting the spectral horse effect he really wanted.  Instead their heads are covered with a foul looking shroud symbolizing they are as undead as their masters.   I am thinking if you did a few spliced shots of the horses in full gallop combined with some foam and fiberglass dummies the riders could sit on in exterior night shots you would capture the effect.     Mind you a very simple but easy costume effect is their undead portion later with just using canvas tarps, smudging and smearing their cloaks with mud, dirt and local cow flop I guess.   A bit ominous and imaginative I have to say I am kinda pumped to see how this tetralogy finishes.