Amityville Uprising

 Good day Readers of Rotten, I was staying away from Horror until I was looking through IMDB and saw bombastic and snooty remarks made on Thomas Churchill's creation. Thomas Churchill as many of you may remember as a writer and director of the following: The Day of the Living Dead, Check Point, The Emerging Past Director's Cut, The Rack Pack, The Hard Way, Nation's Fire Xenophobia, and The Amityville Moon. So what's with the hatred? With the collective production companies of Action House, Church Hill Productions and Lions Gate Entertainment, we have an environment survival horror/action film. This is Amityville Uprising.

Seriously doc, crack a window in here. Phew.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes I know, folks are tired of the title Amityville usage but several Indie Horror films have managed some clever concoctions, so let's give it a chance before we have preconceived notions.

A small town adjacent to an existing military base is going on about its usual daily activities. Unbeknownst to the townies, the base was involved in a highly experimental conglomerate of chemicals that would have dire effects. "He tampered in God's domain." So with our plot device into effect, a massive explosion blasting the town of Amityville. The aerial shots covering this was quite impressive, as the facility has gone completely tits up, the military assigned find bodies strewn all about. With this assortment of chemicals released into the atmosphere, a pending bout of acid rain will happen, the people have been warned but you have seen how well Americans reacted to Covid, so expect mass stupidity.

Ox Hungry!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Attempting to keep the peace, civilians are running in droves as the acid rain produced something else. Walking corpses rising from the ground they dropped on and in the search of fresh meat.

With the cops being swarmed by civvies and the undead, our team are trying to keep their cool and smoke some Zed Heads.

With level headed Sgt. Dash (Scott C. Roe of Dollhouse, The Stalker Within, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, J. Edgar, Road to Marakesh, NCIS, General Hospital, Megalodon, Alien Warfare, The Dawn and Big Freaking Rat), Lt. Howie Stevenson (Tank Jones of The Devil's Tomb, The Broken Hearts Club, Dollhouse CSI: Miami, Breaking Bad, Easy Rider 2: The Ride Home, The Sparrows: Nesting and Union Bound), tattooed bad ass Detective Lance McQueen (Mike Ferguson of Axegrinder 2, Meathook Massacre Part VI: Bloodline, The Devils Heist, 5G Zombies, Angry Asian Murder Hornets, The Beast Beneath, Arachnado and A Cry in the Dark) and officers Malloy (Troy Fromin of Street Soldiers, The Perfect Weapon, Saved by the Bell, A Doggone Christmas, A Doggone Hollywood, Bikini Car Wash Massacre, Horndogs Beach Party, Killer Waves 2, The Stalker, High Rise and Amityville Uprising) and Rossi (Kelly Lynn Reiter of Holy Terror, The Z Virus, Harker: The Awakening, Halloween Pussy Trapp Kill! Kill!, Dead De La Creme,How to Get Over a Breakup and Nation's Fire) are all that can hold back the zombie onslaught.

Aw man, I got brains on my shoes! Damn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not enough crazy in this fustercluck? How about Dash and his son Jimmy(Kole Benfield of YA Campaign Ambition, The Rack Pack, Nation's Fire, Amityville Uprising and Devilreaux)having a strained relationship DURING A ZOMBIE OUTBREAK. Dammit boy, keep that crap down until the crazy is handled. It is an actual heartwarming performance between the two. I saw something similar in 30 Days and Night but that portrayal came up short compared to the Dash family. Emoting and having a rapport between a father and son in the course of virulent epidemic? How many films successfully pull that off?

 

The biggest complaint from critics of this movie has been the pacing. God forbid a bit of foreshadow and putting characters together showing strengths and weaknesses, right? The pace for me felt like how an 80s action drama was setting everyone, the plot and the major antagonists into play against our heroes. Personally? I am grateful of fleshing out the players and allows for more of a connection to these people, making you wonder who will survive and who will sacrifice themselves for the good of the others? That's how you build suspense.

I would like to take the time to point out Thomas Churchill has also acted. My favorite to date is his fixer/bar owner character from Syndicate Smasher. The team dropped a couple of keys on his table and we both screamed "What the F*ck?!" He was genius in that. His rant would have impressed Joe Pesci. Yes that last tidbit was really for me.

Back to his technical prowess, this aerial shots, low pans, looks like some handheld giving a near claustrophobic sensation as we get into the police station. Hell even the lighting set an eerie as Hell mood. Grab your Raccoon City green herbs, boomsticks and flashbang grenades lady and gents.

The vibe I got from this flick was a mixture of Romero's Dawn of the Dead and Lucio Fulci/Bruno Mattei/Claudio Fargasso's Zombi 3. With the outbreak, civilian mass panic and seeking aid from the cops alone, and yet they question why they aren't doing enough. Ugh. Poor cops.

So let's look at the overall. Plot device for the pandemic? Check. Likeable characters? Check. Replay-ability? Check. We got a solid zombie story with some gruesome gores, next to no lame ass jump scares and it does grip you. Really think Mike got some of the best one-liners in this. He delivered. Frankly, I felt the pace was at a good speed, allowed for a build-up by the 40 minute mark and then just balls out guns blazing, zombies getting smacked. So naysayers; if you feel you have to bash a film, give me something more tangible than it's so slow or this sucks. 

 If you haven't sat through a Jesus Franco movie, you don't get to tell me what sucked. 

 

Contortionist zombie! Run!

 

Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold

 Howdy Rotten Readers! Well I felt we could stay away from Horror and that means we're gonna dive into some more Blaxploitation. We will be heading back to the 6'2" heroine with a mean mule kick and dead eye aim. This is Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold. 

 

You're very tall, Rupaul.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our amazonian agent Cleo Jones (Tamara Dobson of Cleopatra Jones of Fuzz, Cleopatra Jones, Murder at the World Series, Jason of Star Command, Buck Rogers in the 25^th Century, Chained Heat and Amazons) gets a call from her superiors about a couple of her fellow agents, the Johnson brothers, Matthew (Albert Popwell of The Peace Killers, Dirty Harry, Night Gallery, Fuzz, Search, Cleopatra Jones, Magnum Force, The Single Girls, The Enforcer, Steel Cowboy and Sudden Impact) and Melvin (Caro Kenyatta of Night Gallery, Trader Horn, Cleopatra Jones, The Young Nurses, Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold and Uncle Joe Shannon), from the first film have been captured by a notorious casino owner known as the Dragon Lady (Stella Stevens of Say One for Me, The Nutty Professor, The Silencers, The Poseidon Adventure, Adventures Beyond Belief, Down the Drain, Santa Barbara, The Terror Within II, Eye of the Stranger, South Beach, Little Devils: The Birth, Hard Drive, Molly & Gina and Illicit Dreams), a militant lesbian with world conquering objectives. Again another lesbian drug queen-pin. Yeah even Doctor Doom can't top that.

 

We get you Happy Ending, no sweat!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ms. Jones finds the boys were shanghaied in Hong Kong and she'll need local information. Ultimately she's looking for a guide and not a partner but she's getting both with Mi Ling (Ni Tien of Shui wei cai, My Darling Slaves, The Rat Catcher, Forbidden Tales of Two Cities, All in the Family, Wu qi bu you, Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold, Black Magic 2, Crocodile, Little Dragon Maiden and Edge of Darkness) also known as Tanny, Ling has the goods on the Dragon Lady in knowing her Macaoian casino is also importing heroin and distribution to the masses.

Cleo and Tanny whoop some serious ass in the infamous Walled City, working side by side like true partners cleaning out a den of scum and villainy.  No they're not in Mos Eisley. The best part of this is a bike gang joins them in their struggles in order to crash through the casino.

Most of the story unfolds like a Bond movie, minus Cleopatra isn't seducing women left and right. The violence levels as well as sex isn't anywhere near a Pam Grier flick. Dobson refused to do any nudity and overall the film feels like a spy drama than it did blaxploitation. As for as action and fighting is concerned, this movie ratchets up the drama. Solid gunfights and plenty of chase sequences. That even surpasses the original film. Stevens actually had some training with a sword. Take that Christopher Lambert!

 

 It's Cleo. Ms. Jones, if yer nasty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 We have enough martial arts in this flick to give it a Hong Kong Cinema vibe as well. The Shaw Brothers were heavily involved with our movie as they were WB's Hong Kong Kung Fu flicks go-to guys. To say it is a trifle confusing is like saying Ghengsis Khan was a bit adventurous.

Between bikes flying around as much as the lead being spewed, Cleo reminds the kids they aren't Evel Knievel. Maybe a bit of Steve McQueen via The Great Escape buuuut, more of the tossing a baseball at a wall rather than the bike stunts.

 

I still love that her previous handler Crawford (Dan Frazer of Take the Money and Run, Tick, Tick Tick, Fuzz, Cleopatra Jones and Deconstructing Harry) mattered so little (in spite of helping her in the first movie) that they don't even go into detail while he wasn't handling her case files anymore. Instead I got the best laugh when Mr. Roper (character actor Norman Fell of The Good Life, Love, American Style, The Heist, McCloud, Three's Company, Needles and Pins, Rabbit Test and The End)as Stanley Hagel. If he was any less hip, his pants would be around his ankles.

I was a little bummed that Mrs. Johnson (Esther Rolle of Nothing But a Man, The Bold Ones: The Senator, Who Says I Can't Ride a Rainbow!, Cleopatra Jones, Maude, Summer of My German Soldier, The Incredible Hulk and Good Times) wasn't a reprise. I mean her boys have been abducted for crying out loud!

The god awful silver eyeshadow Cleo wears has been dabbed on by Dobson rather than a proper makeup artist. No idea why that happened but it did. The film and its precursor was released on DVD by 2010. WB released it on an inferior version (looked like a conversion from VHS to DVD) in 2004. 

 

Hey man, this ain't L.A. Knock that off.

 

 

 

 

 

 Like many sequels they are deemed inferior to the predecessors. This film has enough going for it but I do understand why this didn't have the draw as the original did. Fast paced it may be, but the story felt a bit too close to the original and really lacked a cohesive story path of its own.

Maybe the audience wasn't digging the scene as there was a dip in blaxploitation by 1976. So The Mechanic and Dirty Harry series were more viewed? Cleo is not quite the anti-hero there so this could be the reason behind that standing. Overall I felt it could have benefited from a third movie to round out the series but due to the lack of ticket sales, WB just didn't see a third film was likely.

 

Fine, Mr. Roper. I'll smack Jack.