The Revenge of Doctor X

Hey there gang! So welcoming this July in our midst, we can take in a mad scientist movie. Yeah it's been a while and clearly we were due. Howzabout a co-op of American and Japanese cast and production companies? I mean that never ends in tears, right? Okay I will level with you, I have gone a bit crackers with Public Domain and there has to be something entertaining. This is The Revenge of Doctor X.

Those tacos aren't sitting well, Walt. You may want to crack a window.

Worry not my readers, it has alternative titles. Because it wouldn't be this blog without those. Also known as: The Double Garden, Venus Flytrap, Body of the Prey, The Revenge of Dr. X and The Devil Garden. Produced by Toei Company (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Ghost in the Shell, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Scanners and The Way of the Dragon) and re-redistributed by New Horizons Home Video and my old nemesis, Mill Creek Entertainment; I just know I am getting something worthwhile.

Brought to me less than glorious mono, the title screen reminds me of General Hospital in the sixties and the organ music for the intro is abysmal.  Already we are off to a good start.  Scientist Dr. Bragan (James Craig of The Devil and Daniel Webster, The Omaha Trail, Seven Miles from Alcatraz, Dangerous Partners, Northwest Stampede, Code Two and Studio 57) smokes like a chimney and must launch a rocket out of Cape Canaveral. The line was brilliant. "How in the hell can anyone be so utterly stupid as to build a rocket base on the coast of Florida?!" With weather patterns being what they are, Dr. Bragan seems a trifle irked. It was then I looked at IMDB and found that the over the top dialogue is supplied by none other than Ed Wood (Glen or Glenda, Jail Bait, The Violent Years, Outlaw Queen, The Bride and the Beast, Plan 9 from Outer Space and Night of the Ghouls) so I prepare myself for the barb wire enema awaiting me.

C'mon Doc, let's go root around in our own filth.

With the tropical storm evading the launch site, all systems are go! Cue the stock footage! A few days in and there could be a possible error in their calculations. "Could be? Could be...Doctor Stanley?" Dr. Paul Nakamura (James Yagi of The Ugly American, The Twillight Zone, The Outer Limits, King Kong vs Godzilla and Walk Don't Run) being Dr. Bragan's assistant tells him maybe his skull crushing headaches will pass if he isn't around so much stress and vacations in Japan. Land of Kaijui, cyborgs, mecha and Kurosawa films. Might work.

Bragan goes on for a 3 minute speech how the War made it impossible for him to visit Japan and his botany major never fulfilled. So how does one go from the study of plants to rockets? Hell if I know. Even with his rambling of the weight of mathematics with the bombs and eventual movement to the Space Race I was still baffled. I am re-titling this the Adventures of Doctor Snooze. If painter Bob Ross and pompous mansplainer John Agar had their genes spliced, this man would be the outcome. 7 minutes in and I want a nap.  Might also be the constant General Hospital soundtrack of ORGAN MUSIC.  More organ music in this flick than Carnival of Souls and that is saying something. Mostly that both films have their highs and lows.   Mostly.

Bragan's swingin' pad comes with a gorgeous assistant Norkio (Atsuko Rome of Akuma no niwa and Venus Flytrap). Too late for me to get this gig?   I can prattle on about rockets and plants too.   Meh. This entire film is shot in Japan and the kooky incidental music for sitcom is played for him running out of gas.   Gas station attendant (Al Ricketts of Akuma no niwa and Venus Flytrap) has taken to snake handling in his off hours. Yup it's that kind of movie where it is padded more than a psych ward.  Who asked for this film and why does it feel like Catholic punishment?   Upside, I can send a copy to Gitmo for interrogation methods.  Gimme what I want or you're watching Venus Flytrap again!   Gas station attendant (no name given in the whole time on screen) is a one man crack-up.  By that, he seems to only make himself laugh. He is also ADR as all his dialogue has clearly been re-added post production. GO TO JAPAN NOW!!!!

Lured by the flora and fauna, Bragan scoops up some of each to take with him to Japan. I'm sure Customs will love that and the guy with the rubber glove will be a firm but gentle lover as well.

Shall we get the goofs out of the way? I heard the howl of a coyote. In Japan. Where they would not be native to. Also customs would not allow live plants, fruits or foreign soil brought into their country by a commercial passenger.

Finally, some eye candy.

Okay got all that snark out of the way.  Let's make a quick note of camera work. Blocking is terrible, focus keeps popping in and out and there really isn't anything creatively done with the camera. No wide angles, roof shots or crane work that might have pepped this film up a bit. Also I am not certain if Ed Wood understood the medical definition of nervous breakdown as the Doctor seems to have them every five minutes. They seem to come on like Cluster migraines or micro seizures. Longed for some Tommy Wiseau reading like: "You're TEARING ME APART, Lisa!!"

Naturally our mad scientist some assistants for his plant endeavors, so alongside Noriko is a dwarf who I don't even have the actor's name or even the character's name. Bravo movie. Seriously, not even the credits had this sad cat's name.

Also I am convinced either God or Mother Nature is trying to kill Bragan as boulders, trees and other such debris kept hurtling its way at him which didn't seem to faze or even bother him. Giant ass rock almost crushes the guy and he shrugs it off like a minor inconvenience. The continuous organ music is Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.  How did I find out?   I looked it up.  Figured I should see to what classical music was being butchered along with my sanity. The main problem of this film is that it dithers getting to the experiments. When he isn't losing his shit, screaming at Noriko or having yet another sightseeing trip, he might actually get around to doing some science.   Let's us not forget he's staying near AN ACTIVE VOLCANO!!!!  YUP!   Very relaxing this time of year.  So soothing is lava flow in your living room.  WHAT THE HELL??!!!

Cher is prepped to go under the knife just one more time.

SCIENCE WAITS FOR NO MAN!!! Unless you are in this flick. So imagine crossing Frankenstein with a touch of The Day of the Triffids. That sounds a bit exciting, right?

58 minutes! That is how long before we get to the science! Yeah most creature features by this time, the monster has escaped, racked up a double digit body count, the local law enforcement has taken the scientist downtown. Things would be happening! He tampered in God's domain tropes would be flying about. Not this opus. Oh God no. The kooky incidental music is driving me up the wall at this point. Just out of place and I guess decent dissolves and a montage would be too much to ask of this flick.

An hour and 8 minutes in and finally our creature appears. With Venus fly trap hands, an eerie howl and tentacles, I immediately feared for Noriko. It is getting a bit Hentai there.

This hour and 33 minute movie drags on like a snail on a salt bed. I am certain my beard grew, ass fell asleep and brain cells committed suicide. Don't worry fellas, the topless female pearl divers confirm your tiresome question. For those not in on the joke, aye there be titty.

I was informed that Rifftrax made fun of this movie, which would have suited me fine. Riffing by your lonesome gets dull.

Hmm that's a botched nose job.

Public Domain Goodness: Plan 9 from Outer Space

And I'm back. Hey readers welcome back to the blog of Public Domain Goodness and again nothing that good in it. Today's flick has been deemed "The Worse Movie Ever Made," and I call b.s.to that. I have yet to view the worse movie ever made because every time I am ready to declare that flick, another film bashes that one over and I am back at square one. Whomever decreed this the worse movie ever hasn't sat through Andreas Schnass Violent Sh*t movies but I digress. This film is brought to us by Ed Wood himself as writer, producer and director. Is it a massive steaming pile or just low budgeted, poorly written and edited? This is Plan 9 from Outer Space.

A sperm whale? Oh wait, that's Tor.

Given 8 plans came prior I shudder to think how dumb those were. Ed Wood (Outlaw Queen, Bride of the Monster, The Bride and the Beast, The Sinister Urge, Married Too Young, Glen or Glenda) brings us a very clunky plot as aliens who have contacted Earth prior threaten to take over the planet...apparently one town at a time. They're not very organized but they do have a plan. Plan 9 involves the resurrection of the dead and using them as a disposable army to swarm the populous and subjugate them to their dastardly will. 

No Timmy, you cannot have more than 4 cookies.

Thus far they decided a late bride, played by character actress/horror glamour model/chorus girl Vampira a.k.a. Maila Nurmi. A flight from Burbank is going on at 4 in the morning, in spite of the daily stock footage looking about 3 in the afternoon. Co-pilot Danny (David De Mering of Plan 9 from Outer Space and Night of the Ghouls) and Captain Jeff (Gregory Walcott of The Sugarland Express, Thunderbolt and Lightfoot, The Eiger Sanction, Kojak, Midway, The Six Million Dollar Man, ChiPs and Vega$) witness a spectacle not common in their skies. A flying saucer...that looks like a Jiffy Pop bag on a string. Shocking!

Somehow the wife of Old Man (Bela Lugosi of Dracula, Island of Lost Souls, The Black Cat, The Black Sleep, Bride of the Monster, Brooklyn Gorilla, Suspense, Scared to Death and Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein) animates and kills two grave diggers...presumptuously.  It was off camera.

No sooner is Old Man is buried a couple of family friends found the sweaty grave diggers and their sweat coated pants. Dead Swamp Ass!!!

L.A.'s finest are hot on the case led by Inspector Clay (Tor Johnson of The Unearthly, Bride of the Monster, The Black Sheep, Journey to Freedom, Plan 9 from Outer Space, Night of the Ghouls, The Beast of Yucca Flats and Head) as they explore where the grave diggers' bodies were found. While his team secures the scene (sound stage), Clay decides to knock around a whale. Yeah folks, if you are the many that complain about Schwarzenegger's accent, GOOD LUCK deciphering what the hell Tor Johnson said. Close Captions told me he was having a look around.

Jeff reminisces over the flying saucer to his wife and Army Brass told him to keep his yap shut. In spite of telling his wife.

Clay is buzzed by the saucer and then attacked by Vampira and Not Bela Lugosi (a stand-in had to step in when Bela passed away during filming) thus killing him off camera on the lone sound stage they had. So yes they bury Clay in the very same graveyard.

Soon it is revealed by an Army Colonel to Jeff that aliens are responsible for all of these shenanigans of the dead. Colonel, Lt. Harper and Jeff spring into action to fend off these incompetent aliens. With pistols.

Bring in the space steamer for the space drapes.

Our best army stock footage from Korea new reels couldn't stop these aliens.

What do we take away from this ambitious film? Well the film attempts science fiction/gothic horror and the period piece term Atompunk (From 1945-1965 atomic age, jet and space age dealing with Soviet communism, Cold War era and superhero films and comics) a 50s take on what the future looks like. Nonsensical dialogue, theatre with way too much melodrama and an introduction by Ed Wood's friend Criswell, a psychic. Narrative approach to explain the action. Trying a hand at government conspiracy to cover up the UFO sightings.

The problem is shots do not match from scene to scene, Afternoon to mid evening to suddenly jet black at night on a sound stage and most of the dialogue just sounds like odd rambling. Trying for a The Day the Earth Stood Still, a more advanced civilization attempts to invade the Earth but clearly they did not have the budget for spaceship models, scale work or even that large of a cast. Props of the "spaceship" look like they have been lifted from previous Frankenstein movie sets, ham radios and loads of curtains when they clearly couldn't get some set builders.

No objectives are clear, the plot does not add up the subplots, the characters really have no motivation and there is no real direct meshing of these scenes. I did get to enjoy (loathe) several sweaty large men swamp ass shots. This film is great for maybe a drinking game, something a gathering of friends to make fun of and yes thankfully Rifftrax made a version to mock outright.

He's a tween, his partner a goob. Stay tuned for Cop and 3 Quarters.

(US) Image Entertainment, 2000

(Germany) Winkler Film/Alive AG, 2009

(Austrailia) Force Video, 2011

(US) Legend Films 2009