Assault on VA_33

 Howdy all! Freelance work is coming in bursts so to speak and I have been neglecting the Readers of Rotten and I apologize. Today's film gets a lot of negativity due to be low budget and a "knock off of Die Hard". Look, I can direct you to close to 25 films using this particular formula, coupled with the fact is the talent that went into our movie of the day did a bang up job. I have one nitpick about the flick but we will get to that later. This is Assault of VA_33. 

 

C'mon out to the VA, do some tests, have some laughs.

 

 

 

 

 

Jason Hill (Sean Patrick Flanery of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, Suicide Kings, Best Men, Simply Irrestistible, The Boondock Saints, The Strip, Dead Lawyers, Demon Hunter, The Insatiable, Savage Planet and The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day) is a highly decorated vet suffering from PTSD (Post Tramuatic Stress Disorder) is meeting his sessions, dealing with the stress and the freaking out, trying to be a civilian for the sake of his little girl Sara (Sarah Elizabeth Jensen of Homicide City, Ministry of Evil: The Twisted Cult of Tony Almo, Assault on VA-33 and Jungle Room) and his wife Dr. Jennifer Hill (Gina Holden of Final Destination 3, Psych, The Butterfly Effect 2, Blood Ties, Flash Gordon: A Modern Space Opera, Screamers: The Hunting, Harper's Island, Saw: The Final Chapter, Dear Santa, Sand Sharks, The Exorcism of Molly Hartley and Boy in the Attic) who specializes in treating Vets that have suffered mentally and physically from foreign wars. 

 

Do NOT interrupt Sudoku time!

 

 

 

 

 

Jason and Sara have a lunch date with Jennifer but she gets a last minute arrival patient that needs to be evaluated for the Pentagon's satisfaction, the head of Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Welch (sOooooo many grape jelly references to be had) (Gerald Webb of The Stalker Within, In My Sleep, Megashark vs. Crocosaurus, Camel Spiders, Battle of Los Angeles, Almighty Thor, 2012: Ice Age, A Haunting in Salem, Zombie Apocalypse, Super Shark, Lizard Man, Hold Your Breath and Android Cop) who is torn from his last mission and how his men were put into the equivalent of a wood chipper and he is messed up from it.

While he is in session, a collective of mercenaries are assembled under the command of Adrian Rabikov (Weston Cage Coppola of Lord of War, Raven, Rage, As Night Comes, Undercover, Circus Kane. NCIS: Los Angeles, D-Day: Battle of Omaha Beach, Get Gone and Assault on VA-33), a Brativa Captain and looking for revenge for his imprisoned brother. He is our Hans Grubber if you will. The man with the plan. FYI, son of this Nicholas Cage guy. I hear his dad has done some movies here and there.

The mercs move in, secure the building, load it with explosives and have men at key entry points assuring no interference. Hill heads out with his daughter but his trained eyes senses something is off and proceeds to call the cops. Chief Malone (Michael Jai White of Silverhawk, Spawn, Universal Soldier: The Return, Exit Wounds, Justice League Heroes, Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?,The Dark Knight, Black Dynamite, Blood and Bone, Mortal Kombat: Legacy, Falcon Rising and Skin Trade) tries to talk down Hill with a bit of condescension and hangs up on him. 

 

Healing is a slow process and it can.. Hey! Eyes up here!

 

 

 

 

 

Their main sniper Jackson (Marc Dacascos of Only the Strong, Drive, The Crow: Stairway to Heaven, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Cradle 2 the Grave, I Am Omega, Wolvesbayne, Kamen Rider: Dragon Knight, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. And John Wick: Chapter 3- Parabellum) is topside and takes care of the roving cop checking on the VA, only to get smoked like salmon.

The chief is required to get the lead out of his ass and the crap out of his brain. He sets up a command center only to be swayed by the FBI telling him the old song and dance, " We do NOT negotiate with terrorists."

 

Hill dealing with his demons and the mercs is making his way to his wife, using weapons tactics and some solid martial arts. If anything, watch this for Dacascos and Flanery squaring off. AWESOME SCENE!

 

Yes, I will get Nicholas Cage's autograph for you.

 

 

 

 

 

Will Hill save the people in the VA? Will he lose his wife or daughter? Will Zero get out of the van?

Okay for those having an issue with the budget, shaddup! Solid stunt people co-ordination, airsoft guns and rifles with post-production instead of blank guns? Boo hoo! It is capable work, good cast and crew and gave it a concrete standing. My lone complaint? Michael Jai White NOT getting to whoop some ass. Oh sure, he got a gun fight but I didn't get to see him uncork and break out his substantial collection of martial arts. It's a popcorn flick! Don't look for a deep meaning or extensional philosophical mindset. All in all, a fun film and was well put together.

 

When paintball games go bad...

 

Rattlers 2

 Hello there Readers of the Rotten! So I received a few films courtesy of The Williamson Management Company, it was at the request of an old friend that I could give a review. Well considering I thought I was only getting a screener, I think I can get started on this.

So a sequel to a TV movie in 1976, thus putting 45 years since the previous outbreak; who could have seen a return of a creature feature? Why, the director/producer Dustin Ferguson (Camp Blood 4, Camp Blood 5, Nemesis 5: The New Model, Runaway Nightmare, Meathook Massacre II, Horndogs Beach Party, House of Pain, Aliens in LA, Axegrinder 2 and Tales for the Campfire 3) is bold enough to try. This is Rattlers 2. 

 

I just wanted a bath!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Giving you a bit of continuity; in 1976 deep in the Mohave Desert, a town was infested by a plethora of rattlesnakes due to an experimental nerve gas that the government cancelled for use. It was buried into an abandoned mine that the snakes just happened to been dwelling in and they went mad, attacking people left and right. A cover-up, a military tribunal and a lunatic major was the order of the day, along with bell bottoms, dated dialogue, a misogynistic herpetologist (study of reptiles) and a very angry feminist photographer. 

 

Killer snakes? This is what you bother me with?

 

 

 

 

 

Penned by Josh Price (After Hours Cinema, Rattlers 2 and Lone Star Horrors) and Lee Turner (Shadowmarsh and Rattlers 2) tells the tale of 45 years later, a small town in California has been having a rash of snake attacks. Our film opens with a series of establishing shots that says... yes this is Southern California, possibly the Mohave. Some wonderful drone shots on the very rattlers in question. Enter our hapless photographer on a quest to be first one attacked. Taking snaps of rattlesnakes and getting closer and closer to them. Yup can't foresee anything bad happening there.

From the title card, it really feels like a throwback to the 1970s TV creature feature era, which I love.

The Sheriff's station is going to get more than a few concerned citizens calling in, but I don't think he'll have enough deputies at hand for this potential crisis. Sheriff Wilson (D.T. Carney of Cold Blood Canyon, Forbidden Border, Transmorphers: Fall of Man, John Dies at the End, Garlic & Gunpowder, Moon of the Blood Beast and Tales for the Campfire 3) has got his work cut out for him. With a minor amount of exposition and flashback footage of the original film, Josh Price and Lee Turner manage to connect the two films without it feeling like it was forced down your throat.

It feels like a natural progression and catches folks up to speed.

 

SNAKE HICKEY!!!

 

 

 

 

 

With all the blasting around the rattlers and given their mutations from the first film, 4 decades could easily create new hybrids ready to reek havoc on the town. Commissioner Lewis isn't going to close the beaches..er wait. No, sorry that's Jaws. My bad. The tearing up and rebuild will bring revenue to the town and this talk of roves of killer snakes is poppycock. Dare we even say balderdash?

We do have more than a few familiar Ferguson faces attached to our feature. The original Scream Queen herself, Brinke Stevens, amazing character actor Mel Novak, the wonderful Dawna Lee Heising, the very comedic Shawn C. Phillips, the tattooed beauty horror actress Julie Anne Prescott and Malvolia: The Queen of Screams herself Jenn Nangle. I really enjoyed Mercedes Peterson's performance as Dr. Kaye and cannot wait to see what she does next.

You'll have to bear with me as I had only seen the original twice in my life. Once when I was all of 5, and later about 42 when Cinematic Titanic was teasing and riffing their way through it.

Naturally I feel the name of  Professor McCauley is a nod to writer/director John McCauley (Rattlers and Deadly Intruder) and the film truly feels like an homage to the original.  This was clearly a labor of love and well executed. It's almost reminiscent of Richard Franklin tackling Psycho II to Hitchcock's original, in the sense a fan made film did as well; if not better than the previous movie. Once again, Dustin knocks another one out of the ball park. 

 

Damn snakes even attacked my paperwork!