Assault on VA_33

 Howdy all! Freelance work is coming in bursts so to speak and I have been neglecting the Readers of Rotten and I apologize. Today's film gets a lot of negativity due to be low budget and a "knock off of Die Hard". Look, I can direct you to close to 25 films using this particular formula, coupled with the fact is the talent that went into our movie of the day did a bang up job. I have one nitpick about the flick but we will get to that later. This is Assault of VA_33. 

 

C'mon out to the VA, do some tests, have some laughs.

 

 

 

 

 

Jason Hill (Sean Patrick Flanery of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, Suicide Kings, Best Men, Simply Irrestistible, The Boondock Saints, The Strip, Dead Lawyers, Demon Hunter, The Insatiable, Savage Planet and The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day) is a highly decorated vet suffering from PTSD (Post Tramuatic Stress Disorder) is meeting his sessions, dealing with the stress and the freaking out, trying to be a civilian for the sake of his little girl Sara (Sarah Elizabeth Jensen of Homicide City, Ministry of Evil: The Twisted Cult of Tony Almo, Assault on VA-33 and Jungle Room) and his wife Dr. Jennifer Hill (Gina Holden of Final Destination 3, Psych, The Butterfly Effect 2, Blood Ties, Flash Gordon: A Modern Space Opera, Screamers: The Hunting, Harper's Island, Saw: The Final Chapter, Dear Santa, Sand Sharks, The Exorcism of Molly Hartley and Boy in the Attic) who specializes in treating Vets that have suffered mentally and physically from foreign wars. 

 

Do NOT interrupt Sudoku time!

 

 

 

 

 

Jason and Sara have a lunch date with Jennifer but she gets a last minute arrival patient that needs to be evaluated for the Pentagon's satisfaction, the head of Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Welch (sOooooo many grape jelly references to be had) (Gerald Webb of The Stalker Within, In My Sleep, Megashark vs. Crocosaurus, Camel Spiders, Battle of Los Angeles, Almighty Thor, 2012: Ice Age, A Haunting in Salem, Zombie Apocalypse, Super Shark, Lizard Man, Hold Your Breath and Android Cop) who is torn from his last mission and how his men were put into the equivalent of a wood chipper and he is messed up from it.

While he is in session, a collective of mercenaries are assembled under the command of Adrian Rabikov (Weston Cage Coppola of Lord of War, Raven, Rage, As Night Comes, Undercover, Circus Kane. NCIS: Los Angeles, D-Day: Battle of Omaha Beach, Get Gone and Assault on VA-33), a Brativa Captain and looking for revenge for his imprisoned brother. He is our Hans Grubber if you will. The man with the plan. FYI, son of this Nicholas Cage guy. I hear his dad has done some movies here and there.

The mercs move in, secure the building, load it with explosives and have men at key entry points assuring no interference. Hill heads out with his daughter but his trained eyes senses something is off and proceeds to call the cops. Chief Malone (Michael Jai White of Silverhawk, Spawn, Universal Soldier: The Return, Exit Wounds, Justice League Heroes, Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?,The Dark Knight, Black Dynamite, Blood and Bone, Mortal Kombat: Legacy, Falcon Rising and Skin Trade) tries to talk down Hill with a bit of condescension and hangs up on him. 

 

Healing is a slow process and it can.. Hey! Eyes up here!

 

 

 

 

 

Their main sniper Jackson (Marc Dacascos of Only the Strong, Drive, The Crow: Stairway to Heaven, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Cradle 2 the Grave, I Am Omega, Wolvesbayne, Kamen Rider: Dragon Knight, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. And John Wick: Chapter 3- Parabellum) is topside and takes care of the roving cop checking on the VA, only to get smoked like salmon.

The chief is required to get the lead out of his ass and the crap out of his brain. He sets up a command center only to be swayed by the FBI telling him the old song and dance, " We do NOT negotiate with terrorists."

 

Hill dealing with his demons and the mercs is making his way to his wife, using weapons tactics and some solid martial arts. If anything, watch this for Dacascos and Flanery squaring off. AWESOME SCENE!

 

Yes, I will get Nicholas Cage's autograph for you.

 

 

 

 

 

Will Hill save the people in the VA? Will he lose his wife or daughter? Will Zero get out of the van?

Okay for those having an issue with the budget, shaddup! Solid stunt people co-ordination, airsoft guns and rifles with post-production instead of blank guns? Boo hoo! It is capable work, good cast and crew and gave it a concrete standing. My lone complaint? Michael Jai White NOT getting to whoop some ass. Oh sure, he got a gun fight but I didn't get to see him uncork and break out his substantial collection of martial arts. It's a popcorn flick! Don't look for a deep meaning or extensional philosophical mindset. All in all, a fun film and was well put together.

 

When paintball games go bad...

 

Batman: Soul of the Dragon

 What's happenin' hepcats and kittens!! Readers of the Rotten, I am back from migraine/cluster hell and no, that is not what this write-up is about. So today I found on IMDB a few actors I follow as they discussed this particular animated film from Warner Brothers. With a overall vibe of exploitation, blaxploitation and Kung Fu double features were the order of the day, this movie also brings about a well-known superhero. This is Batman: Soul of the Dragon.

 

 

I am the night... Dig?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The era is 1970s, an organization known as the Cult of Kobra seeks an ancient relic that will bring about the destruction of mankind. Baby, that ain't cool. Our story centers around 6 students of an elder martial arts master and how they each found their path. O-sensei (James Hong of Chinatown,Blade Runner, Big Trouble in Little China, Jackie Chan Adventures, Dragon Dynasty and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) has instructed would-be warriors for many years. Each of these students come from different walks of life and each all have their own pain they either wish to conquer or use that rage as a weapon. 

 

 

Laaaaadies...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bruce Wayne (David Giuntoli of Privileged, Eli Stone, U.S. Attorney, Grimm, 13 Hours, Mother's Little Helpers and A Million Little Things) has learned what he must to bring about his crusade as Batman. His close ally, Richard Dragon (Mark Dacascos of Double Dragon, Sabotage, The Crow: Stairway to Heaven, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Stargate Atlantis, Wolvesbayne, Mortal Kombat: Legacy and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) a super spy for the CIA, a James Bond archetype that just happens to resemble the late Bruce Lee. Richard finds this cult is fronting all sorts of criminal acts as they chase after a mystical door. A door Richard and his fellow students are all together familiar with. Time to rally the troops.

After Batman agrees to join Richard, they have a greater task ahead of them. Getting the ruler of Chinatown on board with them. The merciless, ruthless and gorgeous Lady Shiva (Kelly Hu of Surf Ninjas, Sunset Beach, Martial Law, The Scorpion King, X2: X-Men United, Succubus: Hell-Bent, Robot Chicken and Batman: Under the Red Hood) runs a fighting ring, probably some racketeering and a bit of protection money. That being said, that section of town is probably street crime free, no graffiti and less cars getting boosted. Shiva longs for the battle for those that belittle her master's goals and teachings. Not to mention Bruce's disco and Shiva's fight club suffered damages. Damn, if only Shiva knew a boy billionaire that is loaded with greenbacks.

 

Ms. Woosan if yer nasty

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, at a nearby dojo, Ben Turner is teaching classes for underprivileged kids and trying to strengthen their hopes and dreams. Ben Turner a.k.a. Bronze Tiger (Michael Jai White of Spawn, Silverhawk, Universal Soldiers: The Return, Blood and Bone, Black Dynamite, For Better or Worse, Black Dynamite cartoon and Chocolate City) who claims if he didn't spare a cult member, none of this would be happening. With our four warriors ready to bust some heads and kick some ass, the cult is moving forward with their intentions, their leader of course has two substantial fighters higher than his typical acolytes.

King Snake (Patrick Seitz of EverQuest II: Echoes of Faydwer, Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles, Mega Man Star Force, League of Legends, Black Butler, Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil" The Mercenaries 3D), a blind martial arts master and Lady Eve (Grey Griffin of Star Wars: Jedi Knight- Jedi Academy, True Crime: Streets of LA, Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel, The Weekenders, Doom 3, World of Warcraft, Star Wars: Clone Wars, X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse and Ultimate Avengers: The Movie) a true believer and devout follower with twin blades at her service. 

 

A few points of observation at this time. One, this doesn't appear to be any Batman continuity but feels more like an action/adventure flick. Two, this is a great voice cast handling our main characters, the story is solid and the animation does an excellent job.

In addition, voice work done by Jaime Chung (Days of Our Lives, Katrina, Greek, Samurai Girl, Sorority Row, Sucker Punch, The Hangover Part II, The Man with the Iron Fists, Frank Miller's Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, Resident Advisors and Gotham), Chris Cox (All-Star Superman, Gears of War 3, F.E.A.R. 3, Batman: Arkham City, Saints Row: The Third, The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and Skylanders: Giants) and Erica Luttrell (The Magic School Bus, The New Ghostwriter Mysteries, Dave the Barbarian, Diablo III: Reaper of Souls, Lego Batman 3: Beyond Gotham, World of Warcraft: Warlords of Draenor, The Death and Return of Superman and Magnum P.I.)

From the street thugs to the axe wielding lunatics, to the car chases; this truly embraces 70s exploitation so well. And yes Bronze Tiger does resemble Jim Kelly of Black Belt Jones, Black Samurai and Enter the Dragon. The funny part is Kelly Hu is reprising Shiva's voice. She voiced her originally in Batman: Arkham Origins as well as, Michael Jai White reprises Bronze Tiger of which he played live action in Arrow. Yes this was a fun flick, it's violent, good story and plenty of action.

 

Black Samuarai? Hell no. That's Bronze Tiger, baby.

 

Sequel in Name Only: Universal Soldier: The Return

Back again for the week.   Today's film gets many a sneer, scoffing and wondering how it ever got a direct to theater release.   With its previous incarnations became nothing more than straight-to-VHS in the day.  Two sequels that followed the release from disaster director Roland Emmerich (Joey, Ghost Chase, Moon 44, Stargate, Independence Day, Godzilla, The Patriot, The Day After Tommorow, 2012 and White House Down) in 1992 bringing not one but two action hero gurus together making for a violent and interesting premise.  And then...we have today's movie following in retcon glory with a disheveled, nipped and garbled concept.  This is Universal Soldier: The Return.

So I get no love scenes with this girl? Not sure I am staying.

From Second Unit Director and Stunt coordinator Mic Rodgers (Chasers, Maverick, Village of the Damned, Braveheart, Virtuosity, Twister, The Rock, Batman & Robin and Titanic) takes the director's reins with Emmerich's preceding works with the return of GR44 the dead man that was Private Luc Deveraux (Jean-Claude Van Damme of Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Double Impact, Universal Soldier, Hard Target, Timecop, Street Fighter, Double Team and The Expendables 2) continuing to work in the field with the next generation of Unisols.   Along his side Maggie (fitness expert/former Raider Cheerleader Kiana Tom of BodyShaping, X-treme Energy, Cyberbandits, The Drew Carey Show, Universal Soldier: The Return and Family Law) they rate and evaluate the Unisols' performance, durability and responses to command.

Damn, Lord Vader is shredded!

 

The cyborgs respond, anticipate and react to a direct link to a super computer AI known as SETH. With a chip interface directly linked to motor functions and hypothalamus allows for tactical analysis and adaptation...all except what the Pentagon will do.   Dr. Dylan Cotner's (character actor Xander Berkeley of Straight to Hell, Sid and Nancy, Tapeheads, The Fabulous Baker Boys, The Last of the Finest, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Apollo 13, Heat, Shanghai Noon, 24 and Deepwater)life work to save American soldiers by implementing the Unisol cyborgs for major conflicts has been brought into question.   Three star General Radford (character actor, the late Daniel von Bargen of Basic Instinct, Robocop 3, Seinfeld, The Postman, Lord of Illusions, Broken Arrow, Shaft, Super Troopers and Malcolm in the Middle) tells Cotner and Deveraux to pull the plug on all the cyborgs and AI because Congress is not going to pay another dime on this program...that would save soldiers and preserve lives.  SETH gets wind of this and views all but the Unisols as allies.   Sensing a story our Veronica replacement/love interest Erin (Heidi Schanz of Se7en, Kiss the Girls, The Truman Show, Universal Soldier: The Return, When Billie Beat Bobby and Sol Goode) has snuck on the base to film the Unisols gunning down soldiers left and right.   Armed with SMGs and assault rifles, next gen body armor and a regeneration over small arms fire, Cotner and Deveraux have the codes to keep SETH from expanding beyond his own programming.

Van Damme is imagining all the ex-wives and the alimony payments.

Radford is trying to get additional support to handle the Unisols, Deveraux and Maggie volunteer to attack SETH on two fronts, SETH decides his programming, while impressive he needs a physical body to lead his men and transfers his consciousness into a super soldier tweaked with nanobots and steroids (Michael Jai White of Ballistic, 2 Days in the Valley, Spawn, Exit Wounds, The Dark Knight, Black Dynamite, Blood and Bone, Why Did I Get Married and Mortal Kombat: Rebirth) to be the ultimate warrior.  Can Deveraux stop SETH in time??  How much collateral damage is on the way??

Retconning away II and III which had a decent story line on how Deveraux and Veronica Roberts try to bring his cybernetic story to the press...and that story line went belly up so we are here.  With no ability to get back actress Ally Walker or Chandra West from the Straight-to-VHS sequels, our brilliant scribes decide to kill Veronica off but they had a child together.  Dead man revived enough to produce viable sperm???  Yup one of those you smile, nod and move on.   The role of Romero was originally slated for WWE Stone Cold Steve Austin but went to WCW/WWE Bill Goldberg instead. Megadeth's "Crush 'Em" which was Bill Goldberg's entrance theme in the day got added to the soundtrack along with Static-X's "Bled for Days" and Dope's Die Motherf**ker Die. The strip club used for the jiggly girl/bar fight scene is The Clubhouse in Dallas, owned by Vinnie Abbott and the late Dimebag Darrell of Pantera.

So what did I think of the film?  The hand-to-hand was fair, the gunfights were decent and the levels of explosions are what you expect from an action film. The plot was weak, the shoehorned romance angle was less than believable because Van Damme and Schanz had absolutely no chemistry together and it feels like it was edited and re-edited too much to meet the run-time allotted.   The bright side? Loved Goldberg's screen presence, attitude and overall awesome wrestling moves added to the scenes.  Michael Jae White's imposing voice, build and delivery of his character gives him excellent villain standing and I feel Van Damme came up short as the hero this time. White's basso voice and standing gives great mood to a story that was really lacking and shows he has acting chops.  With 40 million for production in 1999, this grossed domestically 10 with another grand total of 19 million with the better response in the rental and purchase area.

This felt more like a twelve year old taking your favorite action figures, crafting a story that has no depth or length and playing with them all wrong.  A testosterone driven flick is fine, guys but have a fricking plot to match the action scenes.  The female characters could have been replaced with cardboard stand-ins because there was no meat and potatoes to the roles.   Loosely translated, "Does she look hot? Can she hold a weapon? Okay, sold."   All in all, a solid action morsel but ill-conceived dialogue, decrepit conclusions and an unsubstantial third act.  No I have not really looked over the retcon over this retcon the 2008 Universal Soldier: Regeneration nor have I even glanced at the 2012 Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning.  It apparently has clone armies and well Lucas cured me of wanting to watch anything of that standing.

Should have gone for the X-3 Juggernaut deal.