The Henry Rollins Show

Welcome back all. Can you fathom a tattooed loud and passionate lunatic engaged in monologues interviews with a variety of celebrities and live musical performances??? As luck would have IFC (Independent Film Channel) took a chance to have a weekly talk show with our boy Henry not censored or stifled. This is The Henry Rollins Show.

3 bean burrito's revenge!

Each episode Henry has an interview, handles the hard hitting questions like: What project are you on now? Yeah I saw you in the day, how did that get started? Yes even Henry has to adhere to a few pointed questions that while dull to ask, the answers can be quite bizarre. Rollins also has a few host segments and monologues that are key to this show. One would dare say a necessity.

Cool graphic or narcissistic? Only you can decide.

Teeing off is the quick first artillery shells launched at politicians and celebrities that piss him off from the daily or in this case, weekly news. Letters from Henry were based as a satire of open letters aimed at whatever celebrity is annoying the piss out of him that week or he has closely followed their career and can only assume the blood pact they made with the dark lord of he who must not be named is really working out for them thus far. Rollins Reconsiders a very sarcastic "positive" speech made with a few rounds of Photoshop and renders a person with that particular fad that had to be in spite of good taste and common sense i.e. Hemp hoodies, baggy pants and probably parachute pants as well. Sorry Hammer.

This Disquistion: A monologue made by comedian/actress/political activist Janeane Garofalo as free range musings, thoughts of the day or general pent-up rage on issues, people, political agendas and upper one percenters screwing over the work class...all from the comfort of her apartment.

Drawing Conclusions: An animated segment by Lylofilm via Swift River Productions and IFC where Rollins had per-recorded from his stand-up and spoken word tours as with a 2D tradition animation with lovely titles like: Method Acting with Danny DeVito, Junk Mail and A Texas Barbecue with G.W. And Saddam Hussein to name a few. So you can understand how screwy these are.

IFC Soapbox: a debate from both sides of the issue ranging from pornography, R&B to more complicated subjects like war mongering or same sex marriage. Each member is given their own soapbox to stand out and address their take on the problem at hand and express their views. Finishing off the show brings us of course the end credits that were Rollins pays homage to interesting facts about historical figures and the works of actors and directors as well. He has a few passions in his life obviously.

Remember kids, a clean colon is a happy colon.

Starting up on April 1, 2006 brought us our tattooed renaissance madman but alas our 30 minutes of brutal shouting, calm interviewing and poignant speeches tallied only 41 episodes because...um too raw I guess? I would say the lack of a sack from IFC but they do take plenty of risks. DVD box sets available at Best Buy and easily found on Itunes. My guess is Henry cannot be contained on only one stage and must in fact be shared to the world and the residing galaxies!! I could be wrong of course.

Henry Rollins: Up for It

Welcome back my gregarious readers. I know that in your hearts you want even more Henry Rollins information. Okay, if you didn't want to know, skip this article. 

From 1979 to 1980, Henry was working as a roadie for Teen Idles and Bad Brains (two D.C. Based Punk bands back when Lincoln was in office) and wrote several songs for State of Alert as front man and lead vocalist only to disband after 3 dozen concerts only to line up his give with Black Flag. With that all in mind, how about a journey through Rollins' frontal lobes? Sounds terrifying? Well buckle up boneheads, cuz we're going for a ride. This is Henry Rollins: Up for It.

Yes he does work out.

In 2001, at the end of a three month tour, it was decided Rollins would bring his brand of humor, worldly experience and bizarre road stories to his crowd of London where he informs people of his trips to Australia, how Aussies fear next to nothing around the planet never worried about Nature's wrath. Favorite story is him reading about a Canadian man mashing his wang with a toilet seat in a Starbucks...for whatever reason that guy did that. I cannot wrap my head around why any man needs that level of pain, what possessed him to even try that and how hung was he. Sorry brain went to the dark side for a moment.

America's myopic view on the rest of the planet does cloud your mindset. Experiencing travel against customs and cultures allowing to appreciate the difference in morality and what is accepted. While in Bangkok, Rollins is being harassed at 1 in the morning on the mission for nothing more than mineral water, Rollins is accosted by cabbies offering underage girls for his distinct tastes, pleasures and perversion. Back of my head, says to me, "Oh you confused me for Adam Ant," but that's me. Our boy wonder attempts to fend them off with a few polite comments and gracefully decline offers of far too young naked flesh thus confusing said cabbies. After claiming the prize of refreshing water, he is once again offered a varied pitch of making their way around the zoo and afterwords getting some tail so you can't win either way on being considerate to others' feelings all the time. That in mind, do not flog the scumbag with a tire iron even if you could fully justify it. No Thai Lovehouse for Henry. Awww...

Yes Sky God?

His audition for Death for Smoochy could not come at a more awkward time. His agent insists he takes Danny Devito seriously and this could make or break his acting career. He is cutting an album with his band and being gone away from that would seriously compromise his album release. Should he turn it down or should he be loud, proud and insane? With a bold move of overacting he could set a bar so high and I am in favor of Henry Smash!!!

How to end hatred to the likes Ku Klux Klan? You need 3,000 men that embodies three ideals or concepts too vast for the Klan. Gay men, Jewish and blacks...you have created the Klan Chaos Disruption Team! Maybe showing up in a myriad of colored robes and hoods playing Jazz or some Blues as they march.

For 96 minutes of bounding around the stage, venting his spleen and speaking of whacking one's wang in the toilet, you can see the hamster in his wheel going bonkers. Will it bring you mirth? Is it insightful? Can you stand my ridiculous questions?

I did enjoy his seething hatred of Djs. 

Is it so difficult to understand??!!!

Henry Rollins Week: The Chase

Hola folks! So this week is intended to be about Henry Rollins, more specifically any film, TV and specials he had a direct involvement with. Many of you are aware of this man's spoken word tours, his band Rollins Band and even his autobiography " Get In The Van" but few know that he went to see Black Flag in 1980 when he jumped the stage and took the mike for a song. As lead singer of the failed DC punk band State of Alert came and went, fate took Henry by the hand. A few days later, he got a a call to head and audition for Black Flag. At 5'9" he has had the balls to try to outdo Iggy Pop at the punk scene, he has whored out for MTV and even voice over acting for Batman Beyond. This is The Chase.

Gimme the Jack or she takes two in the spine!

Jack Hammond (Charlie Sheen of Grizzly II: The Concert, Red Dawn, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Platoon, Young Guns, Major League, Men at Work, Hot Shots!, Shadow Conspiracy, Two and a Half Men and Machete Kills) a schmuck wrangling birthday gigs as a clown has been sentenced for life in prison but manages to give the slip and disappeared fleeing for Mexico. Getting stopped at a convenience store by a couple of cops in harness, Jack grabs a nearby debutante Natalie (Kristy Swanson of Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Knots Landing, Nightingales, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Phantom, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag, Early Edition, Grapevine and Swamp Shark) at gunpoint.

Escaping the clutches of the cops and now engaging for in a high speed pursuit, two cops are getting the "Cops" reality TV recording in a daily patrol when it hits the radio about an ongoing chase and demand for back up. Officer Dobbs(Henry Rollins of Johnny Mnemonic, Heat, Lost Highway, Oddville, MTV, Batman Beyond, The New Guy, Bad Boys II, Teen Titans, Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, The Devil's Tomb and Feast) and Officer Figus (Josh Mostel of Jesus Christ Superstar, Delta House, Star 80, At Ease, Windy City, The Money Pit, City of Hope, City Slickers, The Maddening, The Out-of-Towners, Knockaround Guys, Growning Up and Other Lies and Blue Bloods) pop the clutch and go into action. As the license plate has been taken down, it is revealed that Natalie is heiress of Dalton Voss (Ray Wise of Swamp Thing, Robocop, Dallas, Seduced, The Colbys, Knots Landing, Twin Peaks, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, Body Shot, Command& Conquer: Red Alert 2, Jeepers Creepers II, 24, and Reaper) multimillionaire and pillar of the community. This whole event goes down from Newport Beach all the way down the I-5 through San Diego to the desperate attempt of escape to Mexico.

JAYWALKER!!!!

 With the gaining press of this dangerous pursuance throughout the towns, live coverage is being recorded from the air as well as vans trying to get footage of it in progress. Jack and Natalie find in this romp on the road that while from different backgrounds they actually have quite a bit in common and Jack finds himself regretting never having the balls to ask a girl like her out. Will they escape to Mexico? Can Jack and Natalie form a real relationship? Will this be one of Dobbs and Figus's better collars? Screw the potential love story, this is only to be watched for Rollins and Mostel's scenes.

One of my favorite scenes of this movie is still Flea and Anthony Kiedis of The Red Hot Chili Peppers trying vigilante justice to smash the BMW into the guard rails, quote smack the punk out end quote and rescue said hottie. They do this with a bright green monster truck. Director/writer Adam Rifkin (Tale of Two Sisters, Nutt House, Psycho Cop Returns, Bone Chillers, Without Charlie and Shooting the Warwicks) found most of Mostel and Rollins' ad lib more entertaining that what was written for them so he gave Mostel and Rollins the go for it. The I-5 freeway scenes were predominantly shot in Houston TX via Highway 290 and then new Hardy Toll Road so dozens of palm trees were trucked in and planted along the highway. Yeesh, that is a crappy prop job.  

This movie hit the screens a mere 3 months prior to the infamous O. J. Bronco Chase. See? Life can imitate art.

What do you think of the Padres' chances for the pennant??