Deadpool 2

Howdy campers! Welcome back to the slow crawl that is Rotten Reelz Reviews. So hope you have enjoyed using up all your fireworks, scaring the crap out of your neighbors' dogs (Serious note: PLEASE DO NOT BLOW UP your veterans. PTSD is not something to joke about.) as well as drank responsively. Yeah folks hoard their explosives like squirrel do nuts. Anywho, considering the previous film I reviewed it after the Christmas festivities and DID NOT want to wait until next Christmas for the sequel; I thought we would come together and take in the furthering wacky adventures with the Merc with the Mouth. This is Deadpool 2: The Quickening.

 

Really love the gelled look. You wear it well.

 

 

 

 

 

Relax! I was kidding about the subtitle. No one wants to be reminded of that Highlander sequel. "OoOoo we made immortal warriors from every walk of life and continent. How do we screw that up? I GOT IT! ALIENS!" That's a whole other rant of which I will be avoiding like the plague right now. 

No,instead we focus on Freddy Kruger with an 8 pack, Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds of Van Wilder, Blade: Trinity, The Amityville Horror, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, The Proposal, Green Lantern, Safe House, R.I.P.D. And Deadpool) after the substantial success of the first movie, Deadpool is off doing what only he can do best. Dick and fart jokes while either gunning down a contract or running them through with a ninjato (movie concept sword, not a real blade). He reaches a snag with his last contract as his future deadie locked himself in a panic room. Heading back to the crash pad with the lovely Vanessa (Morena Baccarin of Firefly, Serenity, Justice League Unlimited, Stargate SG-1, Stargate: the Ark of Truth, V, Back in the Day, Son of Batman and Batman: Bad Blood), future deadie tracks Wade down and alas Vanessa is caught in the crossfire. Being basically immortal due to his healing factor, Wade cannot drink himself to death, being hit by bus or blown up without coming back to life. Bit of a down note when you lose your love.

 

That's my spleen, you ass!

 

 

 

 

 

After being rescued from himself by Colossus (Stefan Kapicic of Almost Ordinary Story, Slobodan pad, Mali polozajnik, The Brother Bloom, Big Miracle, One Shot, Deadpool and Love,Death &Robots), Wilson ends up living at the X-mansion which seems to only really consist of Colossus, Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand of Prism, Deadpool, Tragedy Girls, The Exorcist, Love Daily, Momster, Playing with Fire and Runt), a kinetic absorbing and re-channeling teenager with the most lengthy name and Nega's girlfriend Yukio (Shioli Kutsuna of A Boy and his Samurai, Beck, Detective Conan: Shinichi Kudo's Written Challenge! The Mystery of the Legendary Strange Bird, Girl's Compass, My Back Pages, Detective Conan: Shinichi Kudo's Written Challenge, Working Holiday and Bitter Blood), an energy projector and martial artist prowess. Prowess. A word I hardly ever get to use. Sorry, still stewing over Highlander 2. Planet Ziest can kiss my ass!!!

 

 

Pew pew! Pew pew pew!

 

 

 

 

 

 

a mission of mercy comes the X-Men's way as this will help Wade get out of his funk, saving a young delinquent, Russel Collins a.k.a. Firefist (Julian Dennison of Paper Planes, Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Love and Time Travel, Deadpool 2, The Strange Chores and Godzilla vs. Kong) from himself and his um...fiery temper? Wade figures out quickly the guy running this orphanage is more Uncle Touchy and less Oliver Twist, he ventilates one of the staff, dropping his cantankerous cancerous self into a supermax prision. No sooner than you can prision shank, a cyborg warrior with the moniker of Cable (Josh Brolin of The Goonies, Thrasin', Prison for Children, The Road Killers, Nightwatch, Mimic, Hollow Man, No Country for Old Men, Planet Terror, Jonah Hex, Men in Black 3, Avengers: Infinity War, Deadpool 2 and Avengers: Endgame) is hell-bent to punching Russel's clock. Deadpool intervenes and well a substantial prison riot and smack-down fight is on. Free for good behavior (No,he escaped. Are you even serious with that look?!), Deadpool decides he'll need a crack team of badasses to deal with Cable and keep Russel from dying. It has become his mission. He is...well kinda Sarah Connor in these circumstances. Meh, could be worse. 

 

Catch that taco truck!

 

 

 

 

 

With his recruitment drive along with wisecracking sidekick Weasel (T.J.Miller of Carpoolers, Extract, She's Out of My League, How to Train Your Dragon, Gulliver's Travels, T.J. Miller: No Real Reason and T.J. Miller: Meticulously Ridiculous), the boys of blam put a team together for the gig.

Shatterstar (Lewis Tan of NCIS: Los Angeles, 10,000 Days, Sacrifice, Mortal Kombat X: Generations, Hawaii Five-0, Iron Fist, Den of Thieves, Deadpool 2 and Into the Badlands) an alien warrior from a land far, far away. Bedlam (Terry Crews of Serving Sara, Deliver Us from Eva, Starsky & Hutch, White Chicks, Balls of Fury, The Expendables, Scary Movie V, Ultimate Spider-Man, The Expendables 2, and Reach Me) disrupts electrical fields (Wonder if he could fire the electrical synapes of the brain...) Zietgiest (Bill Skarsgard of Simon & the Oaks, Allegiant, Atomic Blonde, IT, Battlecreek, Assassination Nation, Deadpool 2, IT Chapter Two, Nine Days and The Devil All the Time) a being able to regurgitate acidic vomit and SWEET MUPPETITY ZEUS, That's New Pennywise! NOPE NOOOPE! ALL THE NOPES! NO FRICKIN' CLOWNS! NEXT! And lucky born, gun wielding Domino (Zazie Beatz of Applesauce, Wolves, Sollers Point, Geostorm, Deadpool 2, Wounds, Easy and Joker), where luck seems to make everything go her way, in spite of DP's insistence that luck isn't a superpower. I would have mentioned Vanisher but it's Brad Pitt having a goof. Last but certainly not least...Peter (Rob Delaney of Wild Girls Gone, Mash Up, Key and Peele, Bra League, Funny as Hell, Deadpool 2, Trust, Bitz and Bob, The Hustle, Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw, Last Christmas, Bombshell and Tom and Jerry). Uh no powers, abilities or even a particular set of skills. He was bored and answered the ad. So of course he's a go! Again, did we not establish Deadpool is batshit crazy?

With mission a green light...spoilers. It ends in tears. Domino, Deadpool and Cable play less grab ass and more team-up to deal with Russel and his new bosom buddy the Juggernaut?? No worries, it's not Vinnie Jones this time but really obvious CGI and voiced by that hack Ryan Reynolds. Who let this guy...what? Oh he's been Deadpool all along? Where was my head? Oh yeah...Highlander II: The Crappening. Getting word to Nega, Yukio and Colossus on a much needed Juggernaut trouncing, the mutant misfits make their way to the orphanage of ill-repute (Running gag in the X titles, you'll see the name Essex in corporations, foundations and yeah it all leads back to a mad scientist genetist, Mr. Sinister. SPOILER!)

Can Deadpool reason with Russel? Will Cable give him the boomstick business? Will Vanisher ever reappear?

Now I had seen the original theatrical release which had plenty of rank jokes, gore laden gunfights and general squirrelly behavior you would expect in anything associated with Deadpool. There is also the PG-13 re-shoots with abducted and beloved child star actor, Fred Savage. That I have not seen. Buuuuut, I am reviewing the Unrated version of the jokes they weren't able to put in front of world viewer because it would make them question their moral compass or cause them anal fissures. Hell, I don't know other than some of the jokes and graphic deaths were a bit awful. Seriously, my country is now known as the Land of the Butt Hurt.

Anyway, the Unrated version is 15 additional minutes of very wrong and nuttier than squirrel poop (Three different squirrel references! Were you even counting?) and I had a blast with it. Established R rating from the get-go like the original. Did you guys even read how many lawsuits were attempting to be filed from the original flicks? Kids wanted to see Deadpool! TOUGH TITTY! R Rating was quite obvious to anyone with ears or eyes. So plenty fourth wall breaks, in-jokes and other such pop culture references to make most of the geeks happy. 

 

Cable doesn't do dub-step.  Apparently.

 

Green Lantern

Welcome back folks. Let's talk comic book flicks!

Yeah I know, there have been quite a few of them in the last 18 years. We just had Black Panther (soo good), Thor: Ragnarok (highly enjoyable) and Avengers: Infinity War (No I haven't seen it).

With 3 days away from the release of DP2 (sounds dirty that way, right?) Ryan Reynolds is getting to ride the Fox X-Men/Fantastic Four high and hope for more box office records with the newest Deadpool installment. But before the red and black gimp suit, before looking like Freddy Kruger's ass double and before wielding twin ninjatos, Reynolds was on a bit of a comic book slump. First the rolling dumpster fire that was Blade: Trinity where he really didn't get to play Hannibal King: Undead P.I., some of these films like RIPD got the shaft from critics world over.

Yet I cannot fault the actor that is in these roles. If the story is poorly constructed and flimsy dialogue (A David Goyer specialty) then it may fall on its metaphoric ass. Today's film gets a lot of flack in spite of a decent attempt at an origin story and trying to compress villains and heroes of more than a 75 year story line. This is Green Lantern.

So no chimichangas then?

From the director of Bond films, GoldenEye, Casino Royale and The Mask of Zorro, Martin Campbell tackles a DC Comics book character with a rich history in comics, graphic novels and even cartoons. Sadly, this did not go over nearly as well as was hoped.

Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is a former Air Force pilot now private contracted test pilot with Ferris Air, a man known to be cocky, arrogant and fearless. You know, a fighter pilot. Whose charm and wit land him virtually any girl he may want but the one he loves. Awww...

He proceeds to be late getting a test flight underway tackling a new Ferris prototype remote fighter that can anticipate what a human could manage.

After embarrassing his boss Carl Ferris (Jay O. Sanders of V.I. Warshowski, Kiss the Girls, Edge of Darkness and Sneaky Pete) and his junior executive/test pilot/daughter Carol (Blake Lively of Gossip Girl, The Town, The Age of Adaline, The Shallows and All I See is You) Hal is in deep kimchi and proceeds to be misunderstood and grumpy bumpy. A few flashbacks of his father a test pilot for Ferris he gets to remember his dad bringing an experimental plane in safely and then...die.

Superhero movie, remember? Almost always means dead parents.

SUPER CAAAAAAAR!!!

Meanwhile in space, a Green Lantern of said sector of space is combating a dangerous menace known only as Paralax. He crash lands on Earth and is mortally wounded. The ring chooses its successor for said Lantern Abin Sur (Termuera Morrison of The Island of Dr. Moreau, Once Were Warriors, Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, The Barefoot Bandits and Moana) dragging Hal to his dying self, gives him vague notions that he is to be the next lantern in this very sector.

A tad daunting? To say the least. So off to intergalactic boot camp with aliens voiced by Geoffrey Rush and the late Michael Clarke Duncan as Tomar-Re and Boot Instructor Kilowog. Yup neither of these names mean a damn thing to the casual film goer. The comic book nerds are in awe and yet still not fully sold on the CGI glowy costumes.

Sinestro (Mark Strong of Blood, Zero Dark Thirty, Kingsman: The Secret Service, The Day Hitler Died, and Kingsman: The Golden Circle) the finest and bravest of the lanterns, thinks very little of Hal and speaks to the founders of the Green Lantern Corps, the Guardians that they must have a greater weapon than the GL ring.

FYI, this ring creates energy constructs only limited to your imagination and willpower. Nothing permenant but dude, Mechas and Kajuis against bad guys, right?

But Paralax has a minion on Earth listening to his dark whispers and sets site on destroying the planet or simply laying so much waste to it, his toady could rule what's left of it.

Hal realizes he needs to nut up or shut up as this fight is for our blue and green marble.

Now I have read plenty of critics' and IMDB users' comments on this film. Honestly, I liked it. I felt it needed a bit more editing and the extended 123 minutes does fill in story better than the 114minute theatrical but the glowy suits were a bit painful and main they needed to tone down some of that fluorescent green.

You have solid veteran actors, a decent enough origin story called Emerald Dawn and honestly the only real problem was the rush to get it to theaters. Give the extended version a viewing.

I'm sorry it wasn't Batman Begins or Man of Steel. Boo hoo. Not every story needs to be these two characters and DC was trying to get the ball rolling with their lesser known characters.

This was the first time they took off the safety net and tried something ballsy in the same way Marvel did. Is it a failure? No. Is it a great film? Not really. A decent film? Yeah you can have popcorn to it but it fell under a fair movie not a compelling movie. It is also the building blocks to launch obscure characters like Suicide Squad. So yeah, DC has never been Marvel. That's not a bad thing.

Both franchises have tons of characters and I for one, look forward to more risks like Green Lantern in 2020, they're trying to do more GL so stay posted for that.

Damn. No Pornhub in this sector.

Drama in Cinema: Woman in Gold

Welcome back for Day 3 of Drama in Cinema. This time around our story is based at the late Maria Altmann, a mature Jewish refugee living in L.A. With her lawyer is is dealing with the Austrian government for over ten years to lay claim to the painting of her aunt which was stolen by the Nazis in World War II. This is Woman in Gold.

A lot weighing on that woman.

Our movie opens with a flashback of a woman getting her portrait done Adele Bloch-Bauer (Antje Traue of Pandorum, 5 Days of War, Man of Steel, Seventh Son and Woman in Gold), cut to 1998 in Los Angeles where a funeral is undertaking as Maria Altmann (Helen Mirren of Caligula, Excalibur, 2010, The Comfort of Strangers, The Madness of King George, Prime Suspect, Prime Suspect 2, Prime Suspect 3, The Snow Queen and REDS) is giving eulogy for his departed sister Louisa. After the funeral Maria connects with her old friend Barbara Schoenberg (Frances Fisher of Pink Cadillac, L.A. Story, Frame Up, Unforgiven, Strange Luck, The Big Tease, The Kingdom, Eureka, Torchwood and Resurrection) on legal matters concerning her sister's belongings and papers. She wonders if Barbara can ask her son Randy (Ryan Reynolds of The Outer Limits, Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, Blade: Trinity, Green Lantern, Safe House, and R.I.P.D.) a struggling lawyer if he can take more than a cursory glance at them and make some sense of it all. The letters consist of mention of Gustav Kilmt's Woman in Gold.

After a little legwork Randy finds the painting to be in worth of one hundred million dollars and hangs in the Vienna deemed the Mona Lisa of Vienna but it is said by Maria that it was stolen by the Nazis during the war. With the Austrian government opening borders on art restitution Randy and Maria feel they may have a case. On the flight, Maria has memories of her mother scrubbing the cobblestones on her hands and knees with Germans pointing and laughing, you see a young boy salute in Reich fashion and it just slices through your heart.

Oh for a high bell tower and some belt fed cannons.

Met with a young journalist Hubertus Czernin (Daniel Bruhl of 2 Days in Paris, Good Bye Lenin!, The Bourne Ultimatum, Inglourious Basterds, The Coming Days and Rush) he asks to be Randy and Maria's friend in this troublesome time and I am guessing to see some justice done to those pretisgous households that were wronged. Maria remembers her wedding day, surrounded by friends and family as her husband a train opera singer blesses their marriage with a beautiful song. They dance the Tora in celebration bringing joy in the home.

Maria and Randy are getting doors slammed in their face as the government wishes to whitewash their history of the shame of kneeling to the Nazi Reich and refuses to admit the sins of the past merely condemns the future in my realm of thinking. Returning to America empty-handed, Randy looks for any loophole now becoming obsessed with the Woman in Gold and determined to get Maria her legacy back challenges Austria through the means where he can. Taking his case all the way to the Supreme Court. There a nation will stand trial for ignoring a righteous claim and be held accountable.

Will Maria ever see The Woman in Gold again? Can Randy with his limited experience bring his "A" game?

A few comments on the film now.

The actual Maria Altmann passed away in 2011 at the age of 94. Helen Mirren and Katie Holmes reunite after 16 years since Teaching Mrs. Tingle. Maria's heritage of her aunt Adele's diamond necklace went to SS Gestapo Hermann Goering's wife. Andrew Garfield was originally cast as Randol Schoenberg but he dropped out and Ryan Reynolds took the role. Lucky for him.

Hey, isn't that Deadpool?