Deadpool 2

Howdy campers! Welcome back to the slow crawl that is Rotten Reelz Reviews. So hope you have enjoyed using up all your fireworks, scaring the crap out of your neighbors' dogs (Serious note: PLEASE DO NOT BLOW UP your veterans. PTSD is not something to joke about.) as well as drank responsively. Yeah folks hoard their explosives like squirrel do nuts. Anywho, considering the previous film I reviewed it after the Christmas festivities and DID NOT want to wait until next Christmas for the sequel; I thought we would come together and take in the furthering wacky adventures with the Merc with the Mouth. This is Deadpool 2: The Quickening.

 

Really love the gelled look. You wear it well.

 

 

 

 

 

Relax! I was kidding about the subtitle. No one wants to be reminded of that Highlander sequel. "OoOoo we made immortal warriors from every walk of life and continent. How do we screw that up? I GOT IT! ALIENS!" That's a whole other rant of which I will be avoiding like the plague right now. 

No,instead we focus on Freddy Kruger with an 8 pack, Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds of Van Wilder, Blade: Trinity, The Amityville Horror, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, The Proposal, Green Lantern, Safe House, R.I.P.D. And Deadpool) after the substantial success of the first movie, Deadpool is off doing what only he can do best. Dick and fart jokes while either gunning down a contract or running them through with a ninjato (movie concept sword, not a real blade). He reaches a snag with his last contract as his future deadie locked himself in a panic room. Heading back to the crash pad with the lovely Vanessa (Morena Baccarin of Firefly, Serenity, Justice League Unlimited, Stargate SG-1, Stargate: the Ark of Truth, V, Back in the Day, Son of Batman and Batman: Bad Blood), future deadie tracks Wade down and alas Vanessa is caught in the crossfire. Being basically immortal due to his healing factor, Wade cannot drink himself to death, being hit by bus or blown up without coming back to life. Bit of a down note when you lose your love.

 

That's my spleen, you ass!

 

 

 

 

 

After being rescued from himself by Colossus (Stefan Kapicic of Almost Ordinary Story, Slobodan pad, Mali polozajnik, The Brother Bloom, Big Miracle, One Shot, Deadpool and Love,Death &Robots), Wilson ends up living at the X-mansion which seems to only really consist of Colossus, Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand of Prism, Deadpool, Tragedy Girls, The Exorcist, Love Daily, Momster, Playing with Fire and Runt), a kinetic absorbing and re-channeling teenager with the most lengthy name and Nega's girlfriend Yukio (Shioli Kutsuna of A Boy and his Samurai, Beck, Detective Conan: Shinichi Kudo's Written Challenge! The Mystery of the Legendary Strange Bird, Girl's Compass, My Back Pages, Detective Conan: Shinichi Kudo's Written Challenge, Working Holiday and Bitter Blood), an energy projector and martial artist prowess. Prowess. A word I hardly ever get to use. Sorry, still stewing over Highlander 2. Planet Ziest can kiss my ass!!!

 

 

Pew pew! Pew pew pew!

 

 

 

 

 

 

a mission of mercy comes the X-Men's way as this will help Wade get out of his funk, saving a young delinquent, Russel Collins a.k.a. Firefist (Julian Dennison of Paper Planes, Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Love and Time Travel, Deadpool 2, The Strange Chores and Godzilla vs. Kong) from himself and his um...fiery temper? Wade figures out quickly the guy running this orphanage is more Uncle Touchy and less Oliver Twist, he ventilates one of the staff, dropping his cantankerous cancerous self into a supermax prision. No sooner than you can prision shank, a cyborg warrior with the moniker of Cable (Josh Brolin of The Goonies, Thrasin', Prison for Children, The Road Killers, Nightwatch, Mimic, Hollow Man, No Country for Old Men, Planet Terror, Jonah Hex, Men in Black 3, Avengers: Infinity War, Deadpool 2 and Avengers: Endgame) is hell-bent to punching Russel's clock. Deadpool intervenes and well a substantial prison riot and smack-down fight is on. Free for good behavior (No,he escaped. Are you even serious with that look?!), Deadpool decides he'll need a crack team of badasses to deal with Cable and keep Russel from dying. It has become his mission. He is...well kinda Sarah Connor in these circumstances. Meh, could be worse. 

 

Catch that taco truck!

 

 

 

 

 

With his recruitment drive along with wisecracking sidekick Weasel (T.J.Miller of Carpoolers, Extract, She's Out of My League, How to Train Your Dragon, Gulliver's Travels, T.J. Miller: No Real Reason and T.J. Miller: Meticulously Ridiculous), the boys of blam put a team together for the gig.

Shatterstar (Lewis Tan of NCIS: Los Angeles, 10,000 Days, Sacrifice, Mortal Kombat X: Generations, Hawaii Five-0, Iron Fist, Den of Thieves, Deadpool 2 and Into the Badlands) an alien warrior from a land far, far away. Bedlam (Terry Crews of Serving Sara, Deliver Us from Eva, Starsky & Hutch, White Chicks, Balls of Fury, The Expendables, Scary Movie V, Ultimate Spider-Man, The Expendables 2, and Reach Me) disrupts electrical fields (Wonder if he could fire the electrical synapes of the brain...) Zietgiest (Bill Skarsgard of Simon & the Oaks, Allegiant, Atomic Blonde, IT, Battlecreek, Assassination Nation, Deadpool 2, IT Chapter Two, Nine Days and The Devil All the Time) a being able to regurgitate acidic vomit and SWEET MUPPETITY ZEUS, That's New Pennywise! NOPE NOOOPE! ALL THE NOPES! NO FRICKIN' CLOWNS! NEXT! And lucky born, gun wielding Domino (Zazie Beatz of Applesauce, Wolves, Sollers Point, Geostorm, Deadpool 2, Wounds, Easy and Joker), where luck seems to make everything go her way, in spite of DP's insistence that luck isn't a superpower. I would have mentioned Vanisher but it's Brad Pitt having a goof. Last but certainly not least...Peter (Rob Delaney of Wild Girls Gone, Mash Up, Key and Peele, Bra League, Funny as Hell, Deadpool 2, Trust, Bitz and Bob, The Hustle, Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw, Last Christmas, Bombshell and Tom and Jerry). Uh no powers, abilities or even a particular set of skills. He was bored and answered the ad. So of course he's a go! Again, did we not establish Deadpool is batshit crazy?

With mission a green light...spoilers. It ends in tears. Domino, Deadpool and Cable play less grab ass and more team-up to deal with Russel and his new bosom buddy the Juggernaut?? No worries, it's not Vinnie Jones this time but really obvious CGI and voiced by that hack Ryan Reynolds. Who let this guy...what? Oh he's been Deadpool all along? Where was my head? Oh yeah...Highlander II: The Crappening. Getting word to Nega, Yukio and Colossus on a much needed Juggernaut trouncing, the mutant misfits make their way to the orphanage of ill-repute (Running gag in the X titles, you'll see the name Essex in corporations, foundations and yeah it all leads back to a mad scientist genetist, Mr. Sinister. SPOILER!)

Can Deadpool reason with Russel? Will Cable give him the boomstick business? Will Vanisher ever reappear?

Now I had seen the original theatrical release which had plenty of rank jokes, gore laden gunfights and general squirrelly behavior you would expect in anything associated with Deadpool. There is also the PG-13 re-shoots with abducted and beloved child star actor, Fred Savage. That I have not seen. Buuuuut, I am reviewing the Unrated version of the jokes they weren't able to put in front of world viewer because it would make them question their moral compass or cause them anal fissures. Hell, I don't know other than some of the jokes and graphic deaths were a bit awful. Seriously, my country is now known as the Land of the Butt Hurt.

Anyway, the Unrated version is 15 additional minutes of very wrong and nuttier than squirrel poop (Three different squirrel references! Were you even counting?) and I had a blast with it. Established R rating from the get-go like the original. Did you guys even read how many lawsuits were attempting to be filed from the original flicks? Kids wanted to see Deadpool! TOUGH TITTY! R Rating was quite obvious to anyone with ears or eyes. So plenty fourth wall breaks, in-jokes and other such pop culture references to make most of the geeks happy. 

 

Cable doesn't do dub-step.  Apparently.

 

Hulk Vs

Hey folks back some more. Well after the illuminating film, Beaster Day I decided I wanted some more superhero viewing. Avengers: Endgame is up and running but yeah gonna be hard to take screenshots of that. So why not hit an animated film with at least two Avengers and maybe a runty X-Man too? With droves of devastation, mass smack downs and more that a few furious roars, today's film is coming at you. This is Hulk Vs.

Hulk say you not Idris Elba!!

What is a two-part story line of Hulk's many forays out and about from his gargantuan leaps, Hulk makes his way into Asgard. All Father Odin, King of Asgard, the light of the Nine Realms and the life's blood of Asgard must sleep for the winter in order to replenish the realm and bring forth a bountiful harvest and give power back to the lands. Well into the Odinsleep, the realm is less protected and gets lumped onto Odinson, Thor (Matthew Wolf of Family Affairs, Shelf Life, Fable, Samurai Warriors 2, I Shouldn't Be Alive, Call of Duty 3, BladeStorm: Hundred Years War, Rambo and Big Red), his friends the Warriors Three and Lady Sif (Grey Griffin of Star Wars: Jedi Knight- Jedi Academy, Looney Tunes: Reality Check, The Powerpuff Girls, Doom 3, Johnny Bravo, Ultimate Avengers, Xiaolin Showdown, X-Men: The Official Game and Batman: Arkham City) to keep things in check.

Isn't that Hulk pimp slapping Not Idris Elba around?

 As any good Thor fan is aware of.   Dear adopted brother Loki is plotting and scheming as per usual, so enter the Hulk who will no doubt be duped or mind controlled into doing Loki's bidding.

The green goliath is voiced by Fred Tatasciore (Avengers Assemble, Batman Ninja, Guardians of the Galaxy, Lego DC Super Hero Girls: Super-Villain High, The Loud House, Lost in Oz, DC Super Hero Girls: Legends of Atlantis, Marvel Powers United VR and DuckTales) and brother the Golden Realm is in for a serious real estate overhaul when Hulk is in full-on "Smash mode".

As predicted, Loki takes over Hulk and proceeds to go sick house on Asgard when Thor and Mjornir crack open a 36 pack of whoop ass and then...PLACE YOUR BETS!!! Prince of Asgard vs the Jade Giant! Fear not for the realm but pity the masons that have to do this massive repair job. I wouldn't wish that gig on anyone. Hey, does the All Father approve of O.T.? Things like that keep me up at night, huh? So what do you get? 12 solid minutes of a brutal match between Loki controlled Hulk and Thor.

Of course, dullard that Loki is, he's fueling Hulk's rage. Y'know, like dropping wood into a forest fire and then following it up with napalm. For those not getting this analogy, that's bad. Important safety tip there. Don't do any of that. Well the local landscape, architecture and maybe a random sheep are getting squashed, smashed and crushed. Even better news, no Loki or Banner to reign Hulk in...there's no end to his rage. So yeah that's gonna go well.

Permit me to take you to "Funkytown", mortal.

The day is done and Banner has given more than any of us will ever know. Primarily because we are not selfless fictional characters. Onto a realm filled with darkness, primitives and maple syrup. I speak none other than the feared region known as...Canada!!! A virtual Savage Land and... okay all kidding aside, why does most of America have issues with Canada? I'm clueless on this one.

Now we check in with one of my favorite antiheroes voiced by the talented Steve Blum (Wolverine and the X-Men, Superhero Squad, Cowboy Bebop, Cowboy Bebop: The Movie, Star Wars Rebels, Transformers: Robots in Disguise, Transformers: Rescue Bots and Let It Die), at 5'5", 300 lbs of Adamantium and all attitude, Wolverine. Yup, need a deep growly voice for this guy and brother Blum delivers. Well bub, he's the best there is at what he does. Too bad none of that is diplomacy or a deft hand at dealing with a raging beast that can clear most forest fires with a clap of his massive hands.

When Atomic Wedgies go horribly wrong!

Naturally we need a hero vs hero fight so off we go! Yup, this forest area is completely boned.

I mean just the large thump from 300 foot Hulk drop into the Earth, thunderclaps rocketing trees willy nilly and oh yeah smacking a midget with claws through trees, boulders and skipping him like a stone in the lakes. Wolvie has been dispatched by Department H (it is unclear if he is still under Canadian Spec Ops still or not, definitely not Alpha Flight) as a town has been completely destroyed, innocents lost their lives and Hulk's scent is all over the place.

What will have here is two guys with buckets of stamina, rage issues and the need to put the hurt on the other. Seriously I don't think Logan has ever gotten along with Banner's alter ego ever.

Low and behold; an off the books Weapon X project is underway and gee, isn't that Sabertooth, the cyborg assassin Lady Deathstrike, the Soviet super-soldier Omega Red and the Merc with the Mouth Deadpool? Well these peepers rarely fail me, so yes it is.

Wolvie Revenge Force Activate!

Wel,l the professor that originally gave Logan bones and claws laced with adamantium wants Hulk and Wolverine for a new Weapon X project as soldiers. Yeah multiple PhD s and this doesn't sound stupid. Shockingly enough, Wolvie's sparring partners want him dead, gouge the prof and prepare to unleash a series of fatal ass whippings on Wolvie but he gets loose and gets to Banner. Oopsie Poopsie, Hulk very angry. Must have knocked Sabertooth about at least a mile. Deadpool bounced like a tennis ball, all the while Omega and Deathstrike are still trying to mix it up with Wolvie.

Not going to lie to you, not a huge fan of the artwork but both stories and voice cast easily make up for that. We have two substantial fights of epic proportion. And yes I loved Nolan North as Deadpool. He was killing me. Pew pew pew!! So at the end of this madness, I had two colossal, drag out battles worthy of wine and song. Thanks Marvel.

FYI, first cartoon flick we get to see Wolvie take the villains to claw town. Yup bunch of soldiers dressed like Hunks from Resident Evil get the sharp end of those blades and dammit, we need that now and again.

Comic Flicks of 2016: Deadpool

Welcome back everyone! Hope you had a great Christmas, just now enjoying Hanukkah and maybe could explain Kwanzaa. At any rate, the festivities are on a lull for me so back to the grindstone. My lady love suggested yet another write-up for the week and I cannot disagree. We both tried to get into the films of this waning year and we found we were enjoying the comic book movies more so than the sci-fi, drama and comedies. No real fault on the writers' part, just felt that most of the flicks had no texture. So with that I guess this week is all about our comic book flicks of the year.

When you say anti-hero you think of criminals being punished by gunfire or 10 story swan dive out a window. Perhaps you might think of a demonic motorcyclist with a penance stare or even a Canadian with unbreakable bones and claws that can cut through anything. Be that as it may, today we talk about the wise-cracking, gun-totting, sword-wielding smart ass with a healing factor, the merc with the mouth. This is Deadpool.

Headshots!!!

After the abysmal failure of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the likelihood of a decent film was highly improbable but writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (Dinosaur, The Joe Schmo Show, Invasion Iowa, Zombieland and G.I. Joe: Retaliation) manage to hammer together an R rated smart arsed script giving life to one of the most beloved, loopy, spandex clad anti-heroes to the big screen. Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds of Van Wilder, Blade: Trinity, The Amityville Horror, Just Friends, Waiting..., Buried, Green Lantern, Safe House, R.I.P.D., and Woman in Gold) is a highly trained Special Forces commando gone mercenary taking his assignments, pleasing the clients and pocketing the cash. Even scores a hottie stripper name of Vanessa (Morena Baccarin of Firefly, Still Life, Serenity, Justice League, Stargate SG-1, Stolen, V, Homeland and Son of Batman) so all in all, life is looking up until...Wilson finds out he has cancer in his liver, lungs, prostate and brain and life is looking a tad closer towards the crapper.

So...whatcha doin' after the film?

Drinking at the bar for his assignments, Wade is visited a recruiter Wade dubbed "Agent Smith" (Jed Rees of Galaxy Quest, The Ringer, Elizabethtown, Deadpool and Dark Harvest) who tells Wilson of an organization that will embue him with powers and will enhance his existing abilities thus ridding him of his disease. Sounds pretty sweet until the main doctor Ajax (insert tough scrubbing joke) tells Wade that he'll be a super powered weapon of their choosing. Ajax (Ed Skrein of Ill Manors, The Sweeney, Game of Thrones, The Tunnel, Sword of Vengeance, The Transporter Refueled, Deadpool and The Model) pushes Wilson to his mental and physical breaking point until his mutation comes to light. (GEEK EXPLAINATION! Deadpool is a mutate not a mutant. A mutant develops powers due to an pre-existing chromosone while a mutate is due to an exposure of chemicals, environment, alien power base or the power of imagination!) Wilson develops a healing factor that is on par if not superior to that of even Wolverine's. Which makes sense since the stock being pumped into Wilson had to come from Weapon X. However the cancer mutates externally making Wilson's mug and body look like a vicious elbow scab. Maybe an orange you left in the back of the fridge for three months. He could double date with Freddy Kruger and Freddy would be the looker.

We are the three... aaaaamigos!!!

His buddy Weasel (actor/comedian T.J. Miller of T. J. Miller: No Real Reason, RVC: The Lone Shopping Network, Carpoolers, Waiting to Die, How to Train Your Dragon, Yogi Bear, Dragon: Riders of Berk, Big Hero 6 and High School USA!) pissed he didn't win the dead pool for Wade snuffing it gives Wade some tough love, advice and Wade a secret identity mostly by accident. Locked, loaded and severely honked off, Wade will find Ajax and carve him into brisket. Maybe say hi to his girl and who knows, hang with the X-Men.

Okay a few comments on the film overall. The "ONLY" complaint is in the comics, Wade/Deadpool is so messed up thanks to his extreme makeover he has voices in his head, different aspects of his personality if you will and they are always around for thought bubbles making comments so Wade looks completely crackers in a fire fight, sword fight and fistfight that it makes his opponents and even allies question if he is completely crackers or not. That is my only real complaint on this flick. Okay sure you could give him the Darkman damaged hero backstory but guess what!?! With the exception of maybe Thor, all heroes are damaged in one facet or another. Move on. Ryan Reynolds was the logical choice for this character because of his sense of humor, the factor he can manage to beef up and handle all the crazy training he had to pick up. Not to mention that outfit could NOT have been fun to roll in. You sneeze and it's all in your eyes.

The breaking the fourth wall gag was well done in just idly staring at the audience giving a bit of insight and banter. Yes Deadpool is aware he lives in a universe where people disappear/die/ressurect/get lost in time and have massive team-ups all the time.

Ooo can we skip Uncle Ben's death there Spiderman: Homecoming...please?   Seriously twice was enough but DC trumps that with multiple Batman Mom and Pop gacks.   So folks, Stephen Lang, Ron Perlman or my own choice Michael Parks ( Night Cries, Rainbow, The Private Files of J. Edgar Hoover, Bullfighter, Kill Bill: Vol. 1, Kill Bill: Vol.2, Planet Terror and Django Unchained) for Cable, the time traveling, cybernetic, telekinetic gun-totting badass himself. Oh go Google him already. Sheesh.

Wolvie says I can't fly the Blackbird again.  Dink.

Grab Bag Week Returns: Deadpool

Hiyas reader fans and welcome back to Day 2 of Grab Bag Week and this time around we are tackling a video game.  Shock and gasp you say?   Well... that's weird but I merely shrug it off.   Now getting into the origins of this video game we have to look at the lead character's humble beginnings.  Crafted by comic book writer Fabian Nicieza (X-Men, X-Force, New Warriors, Cable and Deadpool and Thunderbolts) and half witted, self-taught monkey boy artist Rob Liefield (Avengers, Hawk and Dove, X-Force, Deadpool and Youngblood).  In 1990, Wade Wilson/Deadpool was devised as a wise cracking, heartless mercenary who was a constant thorn in Cable's (Leader of The New Mutants and later X-Force) paw and/or side.  The progression of the character was found dull and it was decided to give him more of an anti-hero story line instead and the sales went crackers.   With his Spidey knockoff spandex, to totting SMGs, katanas and various nasty toys, the popularity went through the roof.    This is Deadpool.

Hey true believers, rope burns hurt yer groin!

Deadpool: What? He said no? That was our chance to be in our own video game!
Deadpool's voice in his head: Maybe we shouldn't have spoiled the proposal in crayon.




From his first appearance in New Mutants issue 98, Deadpool has had a solid following of devoted fans that found out that big bad mercenary Wade Wilson was dying of cancer, he volunteered to the Weapon X program (makers of The Wolverine) to an experimental healing factor compromised of genetic stock of Wolvie's own DNA.   The process cured him of cancer but the side effects scarred his face, body and drove him completely off his nut.  Coupled with the fact that Wilson is a superb marksman and swords-master he can only regenerate newer damage so he is constantly in costume to keep the neighbors from projectile vomiting.  Could be worse though, I mean look at Wolvie's hair, right?
Wade spends most of his time in search of love, romance, big guns and chimichangas, when he is not slicing, dicing or blowing people up for money.   Our game starts with a cut-scene of a deary apartment that has not seen a decorator since 1971 and Wilson is checking his Cobra answering machine.  Wolverine tells him to stop calling about borrowing the Blackbird Jet, Domino shoots his sexual advances down and creative director of High Moon Studios doesn't want to produce his video game.  After a substantial amount of explosions, a script is on its way for Deadpool's game.

That's for Wolverine: Origins!  PIMP SLAP!!!

Okay, with all this in mind comes the annoying warning part for the parents.  The following is found in this video game:  graphic violence, booze and smoking references, sexual innuendos and a fair amount of swearing.  Yes folks, this is probably not one of the kids but the kids inside of us all.  Bushido style sword mastery harnessed by beer and fart jokes, Wilson has the emotional maturity of a 14 year old hopped up on energy drinks and a love for Chop Socky films.  He also has an unusual love for Death (Marvel's personification of the Grim Reaper is in the form of a dishy super model build and a skull face) and frankly it is unhealthy.   Course so is a steady diet of beer, chimichangas and pizza but healing factor handles that noise.  LOOK KIDS!!! NO LOVE HANDLES!!!

With the insane fighting styles, guest star characters such as Rogue, Wolverine, Psylocke, Cable and Domino, our conglomerate has no idea who Wilson is talking to half of the time as this character is notorious for breaking the fourth wall (the imaginary wall that separates theater from the audience) which is not to be confused with an aside (a dramatic device specifically for addressing the audience to plot, person or device) or a soliloquy (a technique that allows a character to speak his or her's thoughts and feelings under the guise that they are alone projecting these thoughts aloud).  Ah, English lessons.

The gun play is a bit static, the sword-fighting combos give a fairly wide range of mayhem and the endless amount of clones courtesy of Mr. Sinister does pile up from the slaughters.   The gags and puns are worthy of the character and once again Nolan North (voice actor of Guild Wars2, Wolverine and the X-Men, Uncharted 1,2,3, Young Justice and Marvel Heroes) brings the gab gold.  

Deadpool: A cut above the rest!