Werewolf Week: The Beast Must Die

How do folks!  Say how do we pep up a tired notion like a werewolf story?  Given it is commonly based in creatures hunting a snarling beast only after multiple murders.  How about a nutty wealthy philanthropist hell bent to play a deadly game of Ten Little Indians…with a werewolf?   Grab a chair, prepare to be dazzled and amazed.  This is The Beast Must Die.

Spoilers lurking about!!!

BBC director Paul Annett (The Worker, Fraud Squad, Kate, Crown Court, New Scotland Yard and Little Lord Fauntleroy) tackles Michael Winder’s (Dixon of Dock Green, The Mask of Janus, Champion House, The Saint and The Ace of Wands) screenplay. Alternatively titled The Black Werewolf; this supernatural angle to Agatha Christie’s Ten Little Indians.  Seven people invited to spend time at the whim of one Tom Newcliffe, millionaire and game hunter (Calvin Lockhart of A Dandy in Aspic, Dark of the Sun, Salt and Pepper, Myra Breckinridge, Hung Up and The African Deal) and his wife Caroline (Marlene Clark of Ganja & Hess, Enter the Dragon, Black Mamba, Newman’s Law, Lord Shango and Switchblade Sisters) now feels after hearing tales of an existing werewolf roaming about his estateand through his own intuition feels it is clearly one of these people. 

Our group consists of diplomat Arthur Bennington (Charles Gray of You Only Live Twice, The Devil Rides Out, Diamonds Are Forever, The Upper Crusts, Dial M for Murder and The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes), classic pianist Jan Jarmokowski (Michael Gambon of Othello, Much Ado About Nothing, The Borderers, Eyeless in Gaza, The Challengers, BBC Play of the Month, Gosford Park) and his lover Davina Gilmore (Ciaran Madden of Wolfshead: The Legend of Robin Hood, Sense and Sensibility, Gawain and the Green Knight, A Spy at Evening, A Married Man and The Body in the Library), artist and former convict Paul Foote (Tom Chadbon of Tess, Casualty, Shooting Fish and Casino Royale)  Newcliffe’s assistant Pavel  (Anton Diffring of Circus of Horrors, The Blue Max, Fahrenheit 451 and Where Eagles Dare) and last but certainly not least archaeologist and lycanthropy enthusiast Professor Christopher Lundgren (Peter Cushing of Horror of Dracula, Island of Terror, Dr. Who and the Daleks,  Daleks’ Invasion Earth:2150 A.D., Sherlock Holmes, Star Wars, Shock Waves and Top Secret!).  The estate is wired with security cameras and a motion tracking system.  

An interesting bit about this film that they try to get the audience to guess with of the invited is in fact the werewolf at the being of the film and by a clip asking people in the audience if they could identify the werewolf.  Towards the in end is a 30 second Werewolf Break allowing the audience to sum up the evidence and come to conclusion?  That’s right, it is a who dunnit with fur.   A horror mystery with the attempt at audience interaction seems more appropriate if you could have midnight showings in a theater. So this would be a recommendation for a fun get together and see if anyone has the dosh to figure out the creature.

The Boys are back in town!

Say, what do you call a show with two pretty boys with hand-to-hand, firearms melee weapons training? Welp about this time them Winchester boys got themselves in a peck of trouble banged up the Impala and shook Pappy about.  So pop this DVD in, grab a soda and some chips.  This is Supernatural Season 2.

Spoilers can be found at a crossroads…

Hospitalized after a major car accident Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles of Days of Our Lives, Dark Angel, Dawson’s Creek and My Bloody Valentine) wakes from a coma under mystical means as his father gave his soul to save his boy to the same demon that took his wife.   Brother Sam (Jared Padalecki of Flight of the Phoenix, Gilmore Girls, House of Wax, Cry Wolf and Friday the 13^th) informs Dean what happened to Dad.The irony was steeping against the Winchesters to an epic level.  This season we have more than a few familiar guest stars appear this season, such as: Emmanuelle Vaugier (Saw II and Painkiller Jane) Dan Gauthier (Tour of Duty, Teen Witch and Son in Law) Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica, Burn Notice, Warehouse 13, Dark Blue and The Firm) Gary Cole (Midnight Caller, Office Space, Crusade, Family Affair, Kim Possible, Wanted and The West Wing) to name a few.  Our young hunters are trying to carry on the mission their father assigned with to safeguard them and preserve them, sacrificing their normal childhood but giving them skill and will to spare future children the losses they have felt.  Wither from bad jokes, cheeseburgers or half assed bonding moments the brothers are there for each other as best as they can be.  The yellow eyed demon that slew the boys’ mother has been concocting a plan that has span over 2 decades and our heroes must thwart his plans.

 We are also introduced to Ellen (Samantha Harris of The Evidence, The 4400, Gray Matters and V) a former hunter now bar owner of her own roadhouse for hunters.   This season also has one of the better villains The Trickster from episode 15.   This is so worth the watch, folks and no not to be confused with the Flash’s villain played by Mark Hamill.

A few things of note pointing out the FX linked to this series.  TV and movie makeup crew Andrea Manchur (Sanctuary, X-Men: The Last Stand, Kyle XY), Toby Lindala (X2,The Butterfly Effect, Final Destination 3 and Lost Boys: The Tribe) and Julie Beaton-Pachauer (X-Men: The Last Stand, Scary Movie 4, TRON: Legacy and The Cabin in the Woods) which in junction with some of the CGI, handheld cam, zooms and fair amount of dolly track the creatures have scope, definition and frankly are creepy as hell.

Seasoned Visual Effect supervisor Ivan Hayden (Stargate SG-1, Andromeda, Special Unit 2, Damaged Care and Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed) along with Grant Lindsay (Warriors of Virtue, Voyage of Terror, Air Bud 3, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses and Andromeda) have brought us spooks, specters and demonic effects that could very well rival most movie productions.   As each season seems to progress, the writers up the ante and the monsters seem to be a bit wilier to thwart the Winchester boys.  So grab a copy from CD Universe, Netflix or heck hit your local video store if you have one in your neighborhood.

Pan's Labyrinth...wow

Hello all… we are at the climax, the cusp of Guillermo del Toro week and what better film to end on then a tailored fairy tale.  So get comfy in your seats, grab a beverage and imagine.  This is Pan’s Labyrinth.

Spoilers can be magical…

Guillermo del Toro’s creation describes a fascist Spain of the year 1944.  The story is once again told through the eyes of a young child.  Ofelia (Ivan Baquero ofRomasanta: The Werewolf Hunt, The Anarchist’s Wife, The New Daughter and The Red Virgin) and her pregnant mother Carmen (Arianda Gil of The Age of Beauty, Nuts for Love and Soldiers of Salmina) must journey to the North and Carmen is wed to Captain Vidal (Sergi Lopez of An Affair of Love, With a Friend Like Harry and Dirty Pretty Things), a ruthless dictator that delights himself with torturing rebels.   And you thought your step-dad was kooky.   Ofelia, her head in the cloud realms of dreams and myth does not want to take this monster of a man as her new father, her part-time nanny Mercedes (Maribel Verdu ofCanguros, Y Tu Mama Tambien, The Blind Sunflowers and The Red Virgin) tells Ofelia of a magical garden that she may explore to her heart’s content.   Ofelia roams the garden only to discover a massive maze, a labyrinth if you will and encounters Pan (del Toro regular Doug Jones of Hellboy, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, The Wager and Fallout: Nuka Break), a faun guarding the labyrinth.   He identifies Ofelia as the long last Princess Moanna and tells her of three sacred tasks she must perform before the next full moon to reign for all eternity in the Underworld.  With these tasks complete she will escape the holy hell that is her life.

Now while this sounds like your typical Disney movie tripe, let us be clear on our director.  With a man that combines macabre, humor, fantasy and harsh reality for his films, so we are in for a bumpy ride.   Ofelia is operating on her limited logic and emotional plight.  With her country struggling to rebuild and the post-war angst, to her mother suffering from a complicated pregnancy and her tyrant of a stepfather, it is not difficult to see why she would want to escape this madness in this realm, but what of the other?     I was asked recently if this is a family film and I have to be honest, I really do not know.  The film is terrifying in parts of the sheer brutality of humans tormenting one another; to the emotional rollercoaster of the world but any many ways for me I had the same response to the Devil’s Backbone too.   If anything it shows the audience that not all tales of history and fantasy are mad dash excitement and good triumphs over evil every time.  It gives perspective but at the same time it may fall under more enjoyment for the horror fans.  This film offers a dark gothic tale of cruelty in either realm of dream or consciousness so it is really up to the parents to show this one to the kiddies.   The visuals alone will blow you out of your seat.  Del Toro’s patented panoramic cinematography and melodious pacing of storytelling is what truly makes this mystifying and ominous tale the very life it needed.    Be warned Parental Units, this film has a whole lot of bleak.

Damn that is a nice car.

Hey all.  Just touching base on a cult following that could only be rivaled by Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its spin-off show Angel.  I refer to those pesky kids, the Winchester boys.  Driving in their father’s ’67 Impala these two very different lads dispense justice for the victims of the monsters that go bump in the night.   So sharpen your stakes, pour your silver bullet molds and above all don’t be a douche nozzle.   This is Supernatural Season 1.

Spoilers are all around us man!

Our pilot opens with a happy prosperous young man Sam Winchester (Jared Padalecki of Gilmore Girls, House of Wax and Friday the 13^th) pre-law student, straight A’s and hotty for a girlfriend Jessica (Adrianne Palicki of Lone Star, Legion, Wonder Woman and Red Dawn) and over all life is feeling good.  The two lovebirds have a little celebration nookie and fall asleep (No fellas, this is CW so no skin on that level) when Sam hears a noise in the apartment, goes to investigate and handle the burglar.  After a fairly intense fight choreography we can see Sambo has had some training only to get tossed on his butt by…his little big brother Dean (Jensen Ackles of Dawson’s Creek, Still Life, Smallville, My Bloody Valentine and Batman: Under the Red Hood).   After nursing a few egos and bruises, Dean tells Sam their dad has gone hunting and hasn’t been back in awhile.   Feels all coded in front of girlfriend Jessica.  Reluctantly Sam joins Dean in pursuit of their wayward father because you see folks the family business is hunting…monsters of all shapes and sizes.

Ahh spoiler you say?  You had 8 years!  Catch up!

Now given that John and Jane Public thinks monsters are nothing more than the work of fiction, cinema and tween writers, our would be heroes have to go incognito.  So on top of less than legal firearms, credit card fraud and posing as Federal officers, our lads do battle with the nastiest freakiest creatures this side of Sunnydale.

The storyline unfolds on what could have made these two seemingly normal guys into hunters of the preternatural and extra-dimensional.    22 years prior the boys’ mother died in a mysterious fire and their father, a Marine recon Vietnam vet could not save her in time.   Finds out there are creatures of myth and legend and they are very real.  To keep his boys safe he will instruct them how to survive, fight and win.  From hand to hand combat, firearms and blades these two could probably be dropped on the F.B.I.’s most wanted list if they wanted to go on a killing spree but they remain knight errants and do what they must to spare families the hell that is their lives.

Admittedly I went into this show kicking and screaming foul to preceding shows. Kolchak: the night stalker Poltergeist : The Legacy, Friday the 13^th The Series and X-Files all dealing with the ghosts and ghoulies so I felt yeah YET another less than original idea.  This bleak, dark background story unfolding simultaneously with the current events quickly changed my mind and established this is a dialogue driven story arc as much as it is character based.   A dysfunctional family that shows their breaking points, their flaws and strengths gives scope to the show and guest stars galore.  Only complaint from the man here, not enough reoccurring eye candy for hetro boys.  

Death Factory...Hmm must be Kenner

Yup the title says it all…Death Factory.   Now if you look at it from philosophical point of view you could say the manufactory of guns, tanks, bombs and jets could be viewed as this and have endless debates about peace vs. war.   Well alas extensionalists, that ain’t the case.   Ten to one teens are involved.  So grab your guy or girl, get some drugs and booze, this is Death Factory.

There a few spoilers ahead.  You know the drill.

The genius at work on this cinema feature is Brad Sykes (which is a rude name in the Newcomer language of Alien Nation) writer and director of such films as: (Camp Blood, Camp Blood 2, Goth and Plaguers) in 2002 under the blessing of Brain Damage Films (Apt name) comes this story…such as it is.  With 5 million in the kitty, the film was created and the magic happened…no wait that was Escape from New York.   Our story unfolds with a couple making out in the grass near the “factory” and they decided it would be a great idea to explore the factory and not each other.  Gee, I wonder what is going to happen.  No sooner than nitwits one and two wander in they are killed off.   Boy, who would have seen that one coming.  

This piece of sputum was shot on Digital Video.  I mean lower than the Panasonic.  A flip cam would have gotten better shots.   The pace of this movie is at the speed of curdled milk.  Okay how do I put this in polite terms?  Heck I will give it a shot.  The resonate sounds of the factory walls disrupts the actors’ dialogue.  5 million in the kitty and nobody were miked at all.  You hear lots of echoing in this vast empty warehouse that is allegedly a factory.   The only thing more wooden than the frame around the warehouse was the lines that felt less than natural to say.  The actors themselves look baffled when they should be terrified or they appear ambivalent when they should be serious.  They look like they could be doing anything else and just got roped into this gig.

 Our ensemble cast rounds off with Rachel (Lisa Jay of Two and a Half Men, Creepies and Tuesday), Luisa (Karla Zamudio of The Shield, Hard as Nails, Shakedown and The Mexican Dream) the sassy one, Troy (Jason Flowers of The Brink, Papa Zeus and The Lost Girl) The musing metal head, Derek (The Brink, Creepies and Tuesday) Dopey frat boy, Francis (David Kalamus of Alien 3000 a.k.a. The Unseen Evil 2 and In the Closet) and his girlfriend Letica (Rhonda Jordan of Urban Playground, The Mummy’s Kiss, Galaxy Hunter and Bad Penny) are the token black couple.  I swear this need to pair people off like that.  Cubby and Roy couldn’t attend.  

Our gathering of MENSA members were all supposed to party at Francis’ house when his folks went away for a trip but they canceled at the last minute.  Hmm where to get our groove on now?  Why, how about that abandoned factory on the other edge of town that even the cops don’t patrol?   Brilliant!    There are no subplots or perhaps a good flashback sequence that would explain what happened here or why it was truly abandoned but some meek word of mouth rumors/urban legends which sounded more preposterous than a vengeful leprechaun in da hood.   I assume the ridiculous banter which was to be hip and amusingly ironic was NOT supposed to fall flat on its butt and sound just plain snarky.    The main cliché’ of course is booze, drugs and sex.  Now I get that these youngsters have no clubhouse or apartment to use but my God an old couch exposed to elements of weather, insects and rodents?  Oh baby take me right here on the pile of rat droppings.  If the creature doesn’t get them the chigger bites should.

Best part is there is a bed in one room with fresh sheets.  The monster turned down the bed for them.  Isn’t that thoughtful?  The warehouse er um high tech facility has a few strewn papers calling it Dyson Chemicals and without any background in biochemistry the plucky younglings figure out that experiments went awry and caused one of the workers to go completely crackers, mutate and start mauling her fellow employees, I mean this was a bloodbath that somehow was kept out of the papers and TV.  Forget local; that would have been national news.  Suffice to say this had nothing new to bring to the table.  You have blood and boobs folks.  Heck why don’t we just do a series of those films and call it a day.  Blood and Boobs Part 3: Silicone and Slaughter!  Wow my cheesy made up title was better than this whole flick. Seriously, go read a book, sort your sock drawer or give an old friend a phone call.