Schwarzenegger Week: Commando

And thus starts the Week of Schwarzenegger!!!  Hmm, I should have smoke and explosions when I speak like that.  Oh well.  Today's film evolves a military coup, kidnapping, a few dozen or so deaths, some property damage in multiple locations and some memorable one-liners.  Some familiar faces will be added to your Schwarzenegger roster as reoccurring actors in whatever project he had in mind and some need for disbelief how one man could cause this level of carnage.  Director Mark L. Lester (Class of 1984, Firestarter, Armed and Dangerous, Showdown in Little Tokyo, Double Take and White Rush)  would like you to take this wild ride of puns and pain. This is Commando.

HE CUTS DOWN TREES!!! HE SKIPS AND JUMPS!!! 

Gen. Kirby: Leave anything for us?
John Matrix: Just spoilers.








The first 4 minutes of our movie opens with multiple homicides with different techniques and methods.  Former Delta Force Colonel John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger of The Terminator, Red Sonja, Raw Deal, Predator, The Running Man, Red Heat, Total Recall and Terminator 2: Judgement Day) gets a heads up flyby (which given I think the general was under surveillance) by his former superior General Kirby (character actor James Olson of moon Zero Two, The Andromeda Strain, Maude, The Streets of San Francisco, Wonder Woman, The Bionic Woman and Lou Grant) that members of his unit of commandos have been systematically wiped out due to some mercenary outfit.  To what end?  Kirby doesn't know... yet but in the meantime he assigns a watch detail of two whole men to watch Matrix's back and flutters away.

I miss my Road Warrior assless chaps.  Oh well.

A slight sound and Matrix drops to the ground as the elite bad ass bodyguards are cut up pretty bad.  Matrix makes it to his tool shed for weapons with the mercs lead by a former member of his unit, Bennett (Vernon Wells of Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior, Weird Science, Fortress, Nam Angels, Space Truckers and Misfit Patrol) grab and kidnap his daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano of Who's the Boss, Embrace of the Vampire, Fear, Melrose Place, Charmed, Romantically Challenged and Mistresses) at the orders of osted warlord Arius (Dan Hedaya of The Adventures of Buckaroo Across the 8th Dimension, Hill Street Blues, L.A. Law, The Addams Family, Cheers, Maverick and To Die For) that Matrix help overthrow is demanding he take out his replacement and put him back into power.

He is given 11 hours maximum to fly and make it to South America and put a bullet in Arius's successor.  Dispatching his guard/escort, Matrix makes his way off the plane heads back to find his daughter.  This plan works due to no cell or car phones.  Snagging an off-duty flight attendant Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong of Fear City, The Color Purple, Soul Man, Time Runner, Melrose Place, Highlander and Poltergeist: The Legacy) to captivate one of Arius' men so he can flog the info out of him.  Will he get to his daughter in time?  Will the contacts in South America give his position away?

And now that annoying fun fact thing I do.   The shopping mall in these sequences of Arnold bounding and be huge is Sherman Oaks Galleria and is also later used in Terminator 2: Judgement Day.  54 stunt performers had to be brought into production which is 17 more people than the screen cast.  
Nick Nolte was the original choice for John Matrix but Schwarzenegger was cast instead.   Raul Julia was intended for Arius but producer Joel Silver (The Warriors, 48 Hrs., Jumpin' Jack Flash, Lethal Weapon, Predator, Action Jackson, Die Hard and Road House) wanted Dan Hedaya for the part.

NRA spokesman had this to say...

Horror Grab Bag Week: Bloody Wednesday

I formally greet and rejoice for the return of my readers and welcome you back to Horror Grab Bag Week for a tale that is both bizarre and twisted.  A deranged man who prior to the Nestle plunge into sanity was a superb mechanic but the little voices in his head told him he would be far happier if he simply went mad.  Traipsing through the swamps of this man’s mind will be a tricky thing so grab your rubber boots and hip waders and everyone stay together in a group.  This is Bloody Wednesday.

 

Better than the magic covers any day!

Teddy says you should be punished you piece of spoiler!!

Say hello to Harry (Raymond Elmendorf of Cuba Crossing, The A-Team and Project X), a mechanic of some renown and in general a decent guy until he gets bullied by virtually every big hair band…er…um I mean gang in town.  Victimized by these little Tony Danza/John Stamos clones, Harry retreats into a safe world of his own creation after a horrendous divorce and his boss thinking he was less stable than nitroglycerin is let go. 

Oh no, I fell into a Kim Wilde video!!!! AHHHH!!!!

Harry starts to lose his grip on reality and wanders into a church during evening mass stark naked.   He is then shockingly committed to a psychiatric hospital where his doctor Emily Johnson (Pamela Baker of I Want to Live and Through Naked Eyes) truly wants to help Harry but because she has a vagina all her Cro-Magnon colleagues view Harry as harmless and release him due to overcrowding at the wacko basket. Out on his butt Harry shacks up in an abandoned hotel where he starts hallucinating…or does he?  Is he really going crackers or are people taunting him, tormenting every night and day and making him crack under the strain like a delicate china cup?

Check...please...ugh.

Harry’s only friends are this bellhop he converses with and his oversized teddy bear.   The walls of reality and fantasy come crashing against one another; Harry is finally fed up with all this nonsense and somehow gets his hands on a submachine gun and brother is he locked and loaded.

What is fascinating about this film is seeing Harry through the eyes of the other characters.  This timid and mild-mannered man probably never stood up for himself at any given time, threatens and forces a gang of thugs on their knees with a .44 while he decides what to do with them.  He is literally arguing with his teddy bear on whether or not to ventilate them.  His responses, body twitches and shrieks of horror in the night may be…a little over the top but it does not detract this performance in my opinion.  Also the askew worlds bouncing back and forth give the kiddy ride equivalency of an acid trip or a bipolar disorder in full swings of his highs and lows to the severity I have never heard of.

 

No I don't want to visit Tigger and Owl!!!

Dr. Johnson tries desperately to locate Harry before he can do anything that may harm him or others but has no idea where to look and ultimately has no choice but to give up. 

35mm Spherical captures more than a fair share of zoom pans, a fish eye lens and decent hand held throughout this warped imagery.  A very surreal mood is cast over you from this flick it almost has the feel of homage to Polanski’s The Tenant just not as refined.  Not an amazing film but certainly not mundane either. 

Werewolf Week: The Beast Must Die

How do folks!  Say how do we pep up a tired notion like a werewolf story?  Given it is commonly based in creatures hunting a snarling beast only after multiple murders.  How about a nutty wealthy philanthropist hell bent to play a deadly game of Ten Little Indians…with a werewolf?   Grab a chair, prepare to be dazzled and amazed.  This is The Beast Must Die.

Spoilers lurking about!!!

BBC director Paul Annett (The Worker, Fraud Squad, Kate, Crown Court, New Scotland Yard and Little Lord Fauntleroy) tackles Michael Winder’s (Dixon of Dock Green, The Mask of Janus, Champion House, The Saint and The Ace of Wands) screenplay. Alternatively titled The Black Werewolf; this supernatural angle to Agatha Christie’s Ten Little Indians.  Seven people invited to spend time at the whim of one Tom Newcliffe, millionaire and game hunter (Calvin Lockhart of A Dandy in Aspic, Dark of the Sun, Salt and Pepper, Myra Breckinridge, Hung Up and The African Deal) and his wife Caroline (Marlene Clark of Ganja & Hess, Enter the Dragon, Black Mamba, Newman’s Law, Lord Shango and Switchblade Sisters) now feels after hearing tales of an existing werewolf roaming about his estateand through his own intuition feels it is clearly one of these people. 

Our group consists of diplomat Arthur Bennington (Charles Gray of You Only Live Twice, The Devil Rides Out, Diamonds Are Forever, The Upper Crusts, Dial M for Murder and The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes), classic pianist Jan Jarmokowski (Michael Gambon of Othello, Much Ado About Nothing, The Borderers, Eyeless in Gaza, The Challengers, BBC Play of the Month, Gosford Park) and his lover Davina Gilmore (Ciaran Madden of Wolfshead: The Legend of Robin Hood, Sense and Sensibility, Gawain and the Green Knight, A Spy at Evening, A Married Man and The Body in the Library), artist and former convict Paul Foote (Tom Chadbon of Tess, Casualty, Shooting Fish and Casino Royale)  Newcliffe’s assistant Pavel  (Anton Diffring of Circus of Horrors, The Blue Max, Fahrenheit 451 and Where Eagles Dare) and last but certainly not least archaeologist and lycanthropy enthusiast Professor Christopher Lundgren (Peter Cushing of Horror of Dracula, Island of Terror, Dr. Who and the Daleks,  Daleks’ Invasion Earth:2150 A.D., Sherlock Holmes, Star Wars, Shock Waves and Top Secret!).  The estate is wired with security cameras and a motion tracking system.  

An interesting bit about this film that they try to get the audience to guess with of the invited is in fact the werewolf at the being of the film and by a clip asking people in the audience if they could identify the werewolf.  Towards the in end is a 30 second Werewolf Break allowing the audience to sum up the evidence and come to conclusion?  That’s right, it is a who dunnit with fur.   A horror mystery with the attempt at audience interaction seems more appropriate if you could have midnight showings in a theater. So this would be a recommendation for a fun get together and see if anyone has the dosh to figure out the creature.

Blade Trinity: Drac is Back...

Hey kids back again with another comic book movie and I can tell how much you will be thrilled and overwhelmed with joy as I crack open the shell of this flick.  So grab your silver nitrate and garlic and practice your most menacing glare.  This is Blade Trinity.

Spoilers are born ready, mother*&ker!

Yes I am touching base with creation of writer/director/producer David Goyer (Batman Begins, Blade, Blade II, The Dark Knight, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance and The Dark Knight Rises) who felt while by Stephen Norrington (Alien 3, Blade and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) and Guillermo del Toro (Kronos, Devil’s Backbone, Blade II, Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth and Hellboy 2: The Golden Army) did what he described as a fair job with his scripts, Goyer felt that something was missing from each of the predecessors and took it upon himself to finish the trilogy.   I am not saying the outcome is pure Ed Wood but…well here are some highlights.

Keeping with the comic book anti-hero theme based on Marv Wolfman’s character, Blade is up to his usual shenanigans i.e. lack of stealth.   Guy would not know subtle if it crept up on him and bit him in the ass.  Our story opens in the Syrian Desert allegedly just before Iraq lies the Tomb of Dracula (Boy that would make a great title for a comic) and about 5 low level vamps unearth him and convince him to do away Blade (Wesley Snipes of Passenger 57, Demolition Man, Blade, Blade II, and The Art of War) who half way around the world is torching a warehouse, laying to waste the undead and sneering all the way he does it.  Man I do dig the coat though.  This of course leads to a high speed chase in what looks like the FDR tunnel but in actuality are the tunnels of Montreal.  Yes Canada, imitating the U.S. since 1920 Prohibition.  From bikes to the ’68 Charger our beloved daywalker streaks the road with ash ridden corpses and one accidental human death as he realizes he was framed for manslaughter.   Whoops, his goof.  Sending the F.B.I. to his doorstep Blade and Whistler are attacked and Whistler (Kris Kristofferson of Convoy, A Star is Born, Knights, Blade and Blade II)is caught in his own self destruct blast leaving Blade captured by the feds.   Left to the vampires pulling the strings behind the humans, Blade looks finished but is in fact saved by a cell of vampire hunters, Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds of Van Wilder, Foolproof, Smokin’ Aces and X-Men Origins: Wolverine) and Abigail Whistler (Jessica Biel of Seventh Heaven, Summer Catch, Celluar, Stealth, and The A-Team). 

 Dracula a.k.a. Drake (Dominic Purcell of Mission: Impossible II, Equilibrium and Prison Break) decides his children of the night got soft, lazy and foolish and decides to embrace the challenge that is the daywalker.  Goyer establishes Dracula as the Adam of Vampires the very source but goes back to the Babylonian timelines linking him to Lovercraft elder gods such as Dagon.   An interesting spin but nevertheless the hardcore Marvel fans have issues with this one more so than the first two and here are some of those reasons:  Hannibal King in the comics was an undead P.I.  Think Mick St. John from Moonlight.  Yes, a vampire trying to hold onto humanity by still beating the pavement playing shamus without relying on vampire traits too much.   Tomb of Dracula issues also state Dracula was Vlad Tempus made vampire and not the progenitor but because he held the title “Lord of the Vampires” from his predecessor he can shape shift, come back from ash and even tango with ease.   While I felt Reynold’s one liners were getting a bit tiresome and Snipes really needed to smile every now and then it wasn’t a bad flick.  Just think it could have used a bit more meshing from the previous source material.

Burn Notice Season 2: Electric Boogaloo

Well folks you know how when a show is created and feel nothing will come as close to the same level of writing the first season offered you?  The same jam packed action or suspense clearly cannot be topped.  Pin your ears back, open your eyes and prepared to be wowed.  This is Burn Notice Season 2.

This message will contain spoilers and self-destruct if you dislike it.

Well we last left Michael Weston (Jeffery Donovan of Burn Notice, Hitch, Another World and Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2) he was getting his buddy, former SEAL and likable alcoholic Sam Axe (Bruce Campbell of The Evil Dead, Army of Darkness, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. and Spider-Man) and former IRA girlfriend Fiona Glennanne (Gabrielle Anwar of For Love or Money, Body Snatchers, Scent of a Woman and Three Musketeers) out of a tight spot with some heroin dealers, then he was loaded up to meet his mystery date/keeper of his leash regarding his burn notice.   Hours pass and Michael is aching for some action when his mild dozing is interrupted with explosions, assault rifle fire and a bit of odd screaming.  His cell phone goes off and man his reception is amazing in my opinion; a female voice informs Michael her name is Carla and she wants to know if he is up for a few errands

From this rather impressive build-up it really sets the tone for the season.   Fiona and Sam are slowly and against their collective will start to like one another.   The insanity and repercussions of last season is taking a toll on Michael’s family as well and Michael has that series of issues to contend with.

From layman’s eye this show takes another leap into very technical camera maneuvering, high speed car chases, mixed martial art hand to hand and more gun fights than a Segal movie.  Creator Matt Nix sets the bar and tries to push this show to the letter Director of Photography William Wage ( Love Potion No. 9, Purgatory, Down in the Delta and Surface) combines crane shots, on-board cameras ,dolly tracks and just about anything needed to get the shot.  Hell I am just shocked to not find cameras mounted on the actors for some bizarre POV shot.  Familiar faces ranging from science fiction, comedy and drama emerge this season and you will be stunned when you see them.   If you made it through Season 1 and were blown away by this series with complex characters leading complicated lives and odds are against them, you will thoroughly enjoy season 2 , but don’t tell anyone were you got this information or we are all in the soup.

Call me Snake..

In the far away timeline of 1997(huh?), crime has risen nearly 400% so prior to that in 1988 New York City has been converted into the world’s maximum security end all prison.  Those that have been convicted of high treasonous crimes are deported to New York and given no chance of parole.  New York is surrounded by a 50-foot high wall of concrete and razor wire, the bridges are mind and waterways are patrolled by regular routine helicopter fly bys.   The United States Police forces are camped around it like an army.  China, The Soviet Union (Communism is the wave of the future!) and America are in negotiations when Air Force One is hijacked by a terrorist liberation front called the National Liberation Front causing the President to use an escape pod and landing in the prison.  A rescue attempt must be made. 

Lotta spoilers in the Hudson.

Hiyas folks today we review the 1981 despotic future storyline Escape from New York.   Brought to us by legendary director/editor/composer John Carpenter (Assault on Precinct 13, Halloween, The Fog, Remake of the Village of the Damned and Vampires) and writer/director Nick Castle (Major Payne, The Last Starfighter and Taps)   America has become a police state enforcing law with extreme prejudice and vital information needed for the summit, Police Commissioner Robert Hauk (Lee Van Cleef of The Good the Bad and the Ugly, Gunsmoke and Have Gun Will Travel) must recruit former special forces solider “Snake” Plissken (Kurt Russel of The Thing, Big Trouble in Little China, Escape from L.A.) to infiltrate the prison, get back the President (Donald Pleasance of You Only Live Twice, Halloween 1,2,4,5,6) and off the island in 24 hours.  A full pardon is offered for this blatant suicide mission and Snake is tagged with a dissolving explosive in his system to keep him in check.    Snake uses a glider to land on the Sears Tower in order to take off at a later date.   Getting to ground; Snake runs into a cornucopia of criminal elements of all types, ranging from cannibals, small time offenders to mass murderers.  Now added by temporary alliances the clock is running out for the President and Plissken must reluctantly save the day.

At this point I would love to point out what it is about this movie that makes it so enjoyable.  Cost effective effects for the glider’s radar was done with a scale model of Manhattan Island with a series of reflective tape to look like a mapping process.  With a 6 million budget in 1981 managed matt based shots, aerial helicopter shots of which was used with the St. Louis National Guard as Blackhawk police copters and furthermore due to the fire in 1973 for two days; this area’s safety was blocks devastation that according to Carpenter it spoke volumes to him and was the ideal set for his steady cams via dolly track.  His minimum lighting techniques always give his films a more eerie feel in the same fashion Hitchcock had.  His love of anamorphic camera lens gives his sets more scope and depth to the film. 

If you enjoy this particular genre of possible futures, Do NOT skip this film.  With memorable lines, excellent character development, this is an overall great experience to be had.