Coppola Original: Dementia 13

Welcome back to the blog, folks. Hope you enjoyed the Sneak Peek Review on Nemesis 5.

Looks like more than a few did. And by a few I mean over a thousand views there!!! but now it is time for the flick of the day. So a bit of digging as this was Coppola's first legitimate film, he had done a few sexploitation films prior to today's film.

Now this is not to put him in the same category as Jean Rollin or God help him, Jesus Franco but I just thought it was a funny notion that the man that brought us the Godfather did a couple of nudie flicks, The Bellboy and the Playgirls and Tonight for Sure. Yes plenty of T & A black and white so have at it. Today's film is a horror/thriller that could be considered a jump start into crazed axe murderer story lines and a precursor to Halloween and Black Christmas. This is Dementia 13.

Aww... he's holding her head while she pukes.

One night out in the moonlight for a row in the lake, John Haloran (Peter Read of Dementia 13, Freakshow, Johnny Shortwave, Talons of the Eagle and Rin Tin Tin: K9 Cop) is explaining to his captivating wife Louise (Luana Anders of The Pit and the Pendulum, Dementia 13, Easy Rider, Shampoo, The Missouri Breaks and Goin' South) that his mom is a bit kooky.

You see the will to the inheritance is a bit off. If John dies before his mother, Louise isn't seeing dime one. And with that bit of cryptic, the dude drops dead of a heart attack. Tragic irony or poetic justice? You be the judge. Louise quick on her feet, dumps John's body overboard and claims he is on a business trip. She goes so far is to type up a letter as she is off to the country to ingratiate herself to her mother-in-law in the will.

Not sure how long your dead husband can be out of town so at best she's got about a week, two max. No sooner Louise arrives at this castle (yeah, loaded), she witnesses Lady Haloran and son Billy (Bart Patton of Thriller, Tales of Wells Fargo, Checkmate, Zotz!,Petticoat Junction and The Farmer's Daughter) and Richard (William Campbell of Garrison's Gorillas, Star Trek, Bonanza, It Takes a Thief, Bracken's World, Ironside, The Rookies and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) engaging in some sort of ritual.

This isn't a romantic boat ride, John.

So Momma Haloran (Eithne Dunne of Omnibus, Playhouse 90, She Didn't Say No!, Shake Hands with the Devil and The Mutations) is how should we say, a bit different. A little off tilt, perhaps? Ah, the hell with it. She's crackers. She insists on the anniversary of her young daughter, Kathleen's death to visit the very pond she drown in as a child and tries to communicate with her.

Attempting to cash in on Lady Haloran's superstition as well as her fragile mental state, Louise hatches a scheme to con Lady Haloran that Kathleen is attempting to communicate beyond the grave. She sneaks out in the night with an armful of the dead child's toys playing them around the mass estate's pond as if they floated up under spooky circumstances. Louise is a bitch in case you missed that.

As this scheme is looking good, Louise accidentally swims next to Kathleen's somehow preserved body. I mean the kid looks pristine. Not sure if that is meant to be scarier or no one wanted to spring for a fake child sized skeleton.

Panicked, Louise surfaces and makes it to shore, only to be attacked with an ax by an unknown assailant who drags her body away in true Jason Vorhees style. Now that was creepy.

So...you are always that sudden or was that an off night?

Concerned for Lady Haloran's well-being, family doctor Caleb (Patrick Magee of Zulu, Lady Ice, The Last Days of Man on Earth, Luther, Simona, King Lear, Galileo and Barry Lyndon) is convinced that Louise's sudden disappearance is a mystery to be solved. He proceeds to hound the family in this Poirot fashion to almost an crazed manner.

Meanwhile a poacher snuck on the estate for some easy prey, becomes that of which he sought by the hand of the killer, or rather his ax.

Dr. Caleb convinced that one of the brothers is committing these murders even offers hypnosis as a means to see if on a subconscious level if one of them is the killer.

Is the Haloran family all bread baskets? Should someone alert the constables? How bad must John's body rotted in the lake?

So what we have here is a thriller/slasher film pre-dates any techno-colored or colored film from the 70s and 80s. With moody atmosphere, a good pace, this gorgeous estate as our background and a score providing the right tone to give off a Gothic horror. From a technical aspect, this whole film was shot in 9 days and from its tight editing, you would swear at least a month's work was in the can and not under two weeks.

Filmed in 35mm Spherical, sound in mono the angles of some of these shots, especially the night shots were very similar to Coppola's later Dracula film in style and presentation. Its normal runtime for the flick in 75 minutes but also there is an 80 minute version with a prologue.

Produced by the nose for talent and the master of frugal, Roger Corman also has a hand in adding additional scenes to ratchet up the tension. That in mind, Coppola and Corman argued over whether or not the film could be released in its current state and called in exploitation director Jack Hill (The Big Bird Cage, Black Momma White Momma, Coffy and Foxy Brown) to film those additional sequences.

With an estimated budget of $42,000, Coppola writes a screenplay considered by many harsher critics than I as a Psycho rip-off but I feel it has its own style with Gothic horror, brutal murders and keeps the audience guessing what is coming for you next.

Worst Sunday brunch ever.

Sneak Peek Preview: Nemesis 5: The New Model

Well ladies and germs I have a treat for you today as I just got the sneak peek at the latest Dustin Ferguson movie. No, stop saying who. Dustin (Doll Killer, Die Sister, Die!, Gloved Murderess, Cheerleader Camp: To the Death and Invitation to Die) gets to finally stretch his limbs into the genre of Sci-Fi as he told me in our phone interview last year, it has been something he had been dreaming of and finally given the reins to do just that. This is Nemesis 5: The New Model.

He clearly admires a girl of that caliber. Gun humor.

Continuing the very series director Albert Pyun (Cyborg, Deceit, Brain Smasher...A Love Story, Spitfire, Heatseeker, Raven Hawk, Mean Guns, Postmortem) built but never quite finished to many fans dismay, Ferguson is on the case. We open with a tasteful text crawl in space, filling in the blanks for some of the fans of the series as it has been a bit since we tapped into the cyber saga.

Cut to a harsh desert teeming with life under what sounds like Rob Robinson's composition on synthesizer (Meathook Massacre II, Tales From the Grave and Nemesis 5: The New Model) and bringing scope and depth already so I was completely stoked for this.

Reprising her famous Alex role is Sue Price of Nemesis II: Nebula, Nemesis III: Prey Harder and Nemesis 4: Death Angel is back again fighting for humanity. A dilapidated building stages a firefight between her and a fully converted cyborg as a young girl watches on in curiosity, not horror.

 The year is 2089, Alex strolling through the wastelands defeating cyborgs in gunfights and hand-to-hand combat. L.A.P.D.and the Red Army Hammerheads went to war, claiming to be humanity's savor and neither able to stop the apocalypse.

Yes, the writer is checking out Sue Price's legs. What of it?

Time and wounds have taken their toll on her as she has fought the cyborgs for so long that even this DNA mutant warrior of past and future must prepare for the next adventure and pass the torch to a new generation.

With her biotech engineering and cybernetic upgrades Alex learned to be a ruthless killing machine but in return lost much of her potential humanity.  Alex raises the abandoned little girl and trains her to be vicious, intelligent, cunning yet focused on her goals.   The only way for the end to not come is to send Ari (Schuylar Craig of Blood Claws, Camp Blood 4, Blood Model and The Amityville Legacy) back to 2077 in order to stop the actions of the L.A.P.D.and the Red Army Hammerheads before it is too late. Unlike Alex, Ari is 100% human with no augmentations to assist her.

Good to see some regulars of the Ferguson stable getting some meat and potatoes roles.

Jennii Caroline (Escape to Black Tree Forest, Black Forest III, Doll Killer, Die Sister, Die!, Gloved Murderess, Camp Blood 4 and Meathook Massacre II) appears as a Red Army Hammerhead controller using the cyborgs to capture data for spin stories.   Edwin Garica (Meathook Massacre II, PHOBIA, Stuck and Stacked) as a resistance fighter,  Mark Popejoy (Die Sister, Die!, Gloved Murderess, Poet, Flat Waters Terror Volume 1 and Amityville Legacy) as Doom, transportation entrepreneur and Daniel Stier (Tales for the Campfire, Night of the Clown, Meathook Massacre II and Nemesis 5: The New Model) also a resistance fighter.

Those Black Friday sales are out of control!

Feeling as though the human and cyborg resistance fighters could actually succeed at their mission, it is believed that a Nebula enforcer combat model needs to chase Ari and her crew down and turn them in to meat sauce.

Some nice throwbacks and nods to the second film, we have the giggling blond assassin units again, strifing the place with laser bolts rather than the Desert Eagles of 1980 played by Breana Mitchell (Cheerleader Camp:To Death, Die Sister, Die!, Invitation to Die, Meathook Massacre, Blood Claws, Camp Blood 5 and Amityville Legacy) and Lia Havlena (Wrong Side of the Tracks and Nemesis 5: The New Model).

What really grips your attention is the amazing vocals of actress/vocalist Daiane Azura (Prison of Psychotic Damed: Terminal Remix, Paranoia and Nemesis 5: The New Model) of Pandora Black. A mixture of techno, pop and astounding v/o stylings, this blend of unique tracks and singing keeps up with the pace of the film.

Cinematography is unbearably awesome, some great zooms via drone cam, good hand held and the filters bring some real life into the regions, great cut scenes for editing pushes a compelling story.

Let's talk about our star, Schuylar Craig as clearly she has had some strength training, martial arts and even some stunt work. She got put through the paces and good for her, getting something this intense as a major project.

Hey wait a minute, what about our main villains? Barbie and the Hammerhead leader Mel?

Hey that's the lovely Dawna Lee Heising (Blade Runner, Kung Fu: The Movie, Forbidden Warrior, Waiting for Dracula, Legend of the Red Reaper, Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance and Meathook Massacre II) and hard working character actor Mel Novak (Game of Death, Cat in the Cage, An Eye for an Eye, Future War, Vampire Assassin, Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance, Check Point and Holy Terror)!

Clocking in at a 71 minutes, this bigger budgeted Ferguson film rocks. Post-production laser effects, excellent filtering, an amazing musical score and everyone busting ass bringing their all to this movie. A cyberpunk post-apocalypse that brings older fans back to the series and newer fans to dive right in.  A good blend of old and new.

Nice to see Dustin tackling a genre he has been a fan of for so long. 

Wind mill of death kick!

 

Sister Street Fighter

And we are back ladies and gents. More Sonny Chiba coming at you in technocolor from the looks of it and recorded in mono from its mere sound. Well we are still with the Street Fighter series but shying away from Sonny's character Terry. What? But how can this be still Street Fighter without that key ingredient? Well relax your sphincters, folks and realize the wonders of....ALTERNATIVE TITLES!!!

Yes you knew that is always a possibility on this site that an alternative title chosen by foreign distribution is never far from my writing.I kid.  It appears to simply be a spin-off of the series.   Instead of the focus being around Sonny, a new challenger approaches!! Sue Shiomi takes the reins and boy it is going to be a helluva ride.

This is Sister Street Fighter.

Brown eyed bad ass.

Once again Toei Production brings another hard hitting, gory film of martial arts and yes I am watching the 86 minutes of uncut graphic violence that landed them yet another X rating. Yes this would hit NC-17 rating but we don't seem to have any directors up for this kind of violence anymore.

Kempo expert Lee Long (Hiroshi Miayauchi of Ramen Rider, Himitsu Sentai Gorenger, The War in Space, Supaidāman (1978-1979 Japanese Spider Man series), Renegade Ninjas and Kita no hotaru) is an undercover cop trying to find his way into the drug trafficking heroin ring from Japan to Hong Kong when he gets outed as a cop and taken away for questioning. Could have used those Escrima sticks that Kempo develops the fighting style with but hey I am not one to tell you how to run your undercover ID.

Mr. Miyagi is not amused.

The dummy corporation known as Central Export is under investigation attempting to link the heroin smuggling but no luck thus far, the Tokyo Police call in Tina Long (Sue Shiomi of Golgo 13: Assignment Kowloon, Karate Bear Fighter, Message from Space, Shogun's Ninja, Fall Guy, Moon Mask Rider and The Shadow Army 3), petite and demure girl with the cutest dimples and some of the most nasty martial arts moves I have seen in a while. Wailing the monkey crap out of anyone laying hands on her, she is also experienced in thrown weapons, sais, nunkuku and improvised weapons.

As the assignment has gotten deadly, Tina reaches out to a Karate master for aid as the gangs are a bit more than one woman can handle. Personally I think they are outclassed but that's my take.

Pity that man.  He'll probably limp to the end of his days.

After an extensive fight with these leopard leotard clad hunnies flogging men and no this isn't some perverted thing I added (the film did that) a Kempo/Karate student teacher Sonny (yes Sonny Chiba) joins in the fray and goes sick house on these punks.

The members of the Yakuza feeling their heroin is in jeopardy hire the illusive Hammerhead and his mercenaries to deal with the “bitch”. Hope they're insured.

Will Tina and Sonny rescue Lee? Can the drug ring be smashed? Will Commissioner Gordon and Chief O' Hara still be baffled about these crimes?

This is a typical relative is in trouble/danger/captured and has to be rescued. That now known, holy crap Shiomi is downright terrifying. Snap and crane kicks to the likes of Chun Li of Street Fighter in the games. Sonny doesn't steal the show but will eclipse a few scenes. At the end of the day this is the Street Fighter film I recommend for many ages...of course there is extreme violence so again the kids probably shouldn't be watching.

Round kick of Doom!

Return of the Street Fighter

Howdy folk.  Need to apologize, the migraine fairy came to visit and short changed me any time at all to write.   That being said we move back to Sonny Chiba in the Street Fighter series again.  Yup, Terry Tsurguri is back in action, kicking ass and taking names again.   This time around, Terry has another interaction with the Yakuza and the fists go flying.  This is Return of the Street Fighter.

Are you calling me, pretty?

Sonny is back as Terry but we do not have that typical sequel that is bridging multiple added characters that are linked to the previous characters of the original.  In fact,  I think Terry is the only reprising character at all so that's one bullet dodged.  The story is a bit more simplistic as Terry looks into whether or not a charity cause is being looted from the Yakuza. 

With the police almost as corrupt as the Yakuza, Terry seems to be fighting both but concentrates his efforts on the Yakuza primarily.    There are several flashbacks from the original but unlike something like the Hills Have Eyes 2 were it felt like filler, these seem to either haunt Terry or are plaguing his mind at the time.  I mean you rip a guy's wang off in a fight, it should stay with you.   Oh sorry, was that spoilers from The Street Fighter??  Walk it off!!

Ryu wins!

I guess to compromise the previous flick's graphic violence, we get some nudity so yes titties for all and all a good night.   To be honest, nudity was a welcome exchange versus genitals getting ripped off.   Even with toning down the violence levels, this film was still rated X (NO NC-17 yet) and no one knew how to quantify the flicks' genre or sub-genre.

Again martial arts master is doing dirty deeds for the mob and offering up a series of ass whippings to anyone in his way.   The action is substantial, the voice dubbing is...okay it is really over the top most of the time and the scoring of the soundtrack is very 70s and rocking along.   Just watch it with subtitles.  Taking in all that, Terry seems a bit more tongue and cheek, almost a sense of humor since he murdered those men with his bare hands.   No clue if they were trying for less of an X rating or if they wanted to showcase that Chiba could take himself lightly.

Snow levels are always difficult.

Once again Toei Production put out some guerilla filming (gonzo or grindhouse) about taboo concepts and concerns with this film than most of their subgenre films.  We have Manga live action films, cop dramas, cartoons for children, sukeban (troubled teenage girl) women in prison films, Anime, thrillers, horror and even some comedy.

It kind of reminds me how many of the Paramount hated the Friday the 13th films and the money it and its sequels made them.  Maybe it is that way with Toei and the Street Fighter series.   I noticed New Line Cinema didn't mind the revenue.

Golgo 13: Assigment Kowloon

And we're back again.  Yeah two in a row, it must be confusing as hell.   Hello ladies and gents.   I will be pushing more Sonny Chiba on you and you're gonna take it.   Yeah that may have sounded a lot more filthy than intended.  Today's film is based on a Manga which has existed from creator Takao Saito of Big Comic since 1968.  This film is oddly enough the sequel to its predecessor that came out in 1973.   This is Golgo 13: Assignment Kowloon.

The post office is gonna pay.

The previous movie had actor Ken Takakura of Manhunt, The Yellow Hankerchief, The Yakuza, Black Rain, Mr. Baseball, 47 Ronin and The Firefly as lead character Golgo 13/ Duke Togo.   This time we have Sonny Chiba, who honestly resembles the Manga character more so.  You'd swear they modeled Duke after Chiba.  Solid muscle yet lean build, piercing eyes and mirrored aviator's glasses.

Once again a Toei Production as so many drama and science fiction films in Japan, our hired killer is hired by an American mob to bump off Chou Lei Fang (Nick Lam Wai Kei of Dangerous Encounters, The Amazing Spider-Man, Stoner, Twisted Love and Mercenaries) , a key member of the same mob via Hong Kong branch. 

And what can you bring to this firm?

Concerned how public this assignment must be, Togo cases the location, checks wind and exit locations but notices a capable detective Smith (Lun Chia of Cold Blooded Murder, Qi wu shi, Killer Rose, The Lost Generation and Magnum Thunderbolt) trying to get Chou on drug trafficking charges.   He sent in his aid Lin Li (Etsuko Shiomi of Fall Guy, Moon Mask Rider, Kabamaru the Ninja, Legend of Eight Samurai, The Audition, Shadow Warriors IV and Cabaret)to infiltrate the drug trade but she is captured by Chou's men after she was wailing the monkey crap out of his men. 

Chou and Smith both are aware of the arrival of Golgo 13.   For Smith, Golgo 13 sniped a foreign diplomat he was protecting.  Trying to get his chief to arrest Chou for his own protection, the chief reluctantly agrees after Chou's presentation... the presentation that he is scheduled to most likely get shot at.  Derp!  Togo in position to take the shot but a white girl pops Chou before him and Togo knows now he's the fall guy.   He hightails it out, chucking his weapons and disappears.

Go Speed Racer GoooOOoo!!!

Chou's widow Leika (Dana of Infra-Man, Bruce Li in New Guinea, The Bamboo House, Miao Jie nu q and Wan Zai si tiao nu) clearly heartbroken over the death of her husband does the humpty dance with Togo as part of the grieving stage no doubt.  Duke "pumps" her for information ending that "interrogation" with a gun fight.

Can Golgo 13 find out who screwed him over?  How many more bodies ending up on the slab?

When you think about it, this is one of the first comic book movie with an R rating.  Suck it Deadpool!   


Rounding off at 83 minutes, mild nudity and a fair degree of gun and hand-to-hand violence, it's an impressive story, Chiba is a bad ass who even gets off one of those bullet through the telescope shots.  I had fun with this.  Hell the whole point of watching this flick is the the wharf fight scene alone.  Six toughs attempt to gut Togo and well...you have to see it to believe it.

Pushy waiter!  No tip!

The Street Fighter

Hey gang.  I'm back.  After the major SNAFU with the notebook, my folks were kind and thoughtful enough to loan me a laptop for better writing capabilities.  Today we are talking about a Japanese karate film.  Now if the martial arts movies are not your cup of tea, you will be disappointed with this write up.  If in fact you do enjoy this sort of thing, I must warn the women folk there are some disturbing context in this particular film.   Okay now that has been cleared up, I am on about one of cinema's finer martial artist bad asses, Sonny Chiba.  This is Street Fighter.

 Ming-Na Wen made an awesome Chun Li in spite of giving her a completely different backstory.

That is the face of a man with the most conflicting boner.

Okay don't abandon ship.  This is the 1974 action film not the unfortunate live-action film of 1994 with Van Damme.  That being said,

Our story begins with Terry Tsurugi (Sonny Chiba of Bullet Train, Karate Warriors, Doberman Cop, Sister Street Fighter, The Assassin and Golgo 13: Assignment Kowloon),  a man for hire with exceptional Karate and Hapkido mixture.   Faking the death of a prisoner Junjo and sneaking him away from the cops, a pair of siblings that hired Terry are pleased with the news but uh oh they can't afford his prices.  Terry is unmoved by their pleas and tells them he'll just sell the sister to the sex trade.  Her brother attempts to combat Terry only to go flying out a window of about 5 stories and the girl is pawned off.   Our hero!  Okay that was actually all the real disturbing portion.

I make the same face when I am popping my back.

 














Later a young daughter of a recently deceased oil tycoon stands to inherit millions so the Yakuza (Japanese mafia for you lousy gajin.) decides to hire Terry to kidnap the girl and force her to sign over all her deeds to them.  Terry pitches them a price they refuse to agree to pay and opt to killing him for the knowledge of their plans.  Bad call but they are a collective of butter heads so I wasn't surprised.

Terry comes to the idea of hiring out his services to the girl Sairi (Yutaka Nakajima of Code Name Black Cat o oe, Kyotaro Nishimura's Travel Mystery 13, Kyotaro Nishimura's Travel Mystery 15, Nanmim Rodo, Hotel Doctor and Red Dead Wagon 5: Gorgeous Mistakes) as her protector.  She is currently being guarded by her uncle Kendo Masaoka in his dojo.   Terry with all the sympathy he can muster tells Kendo that his students couldn't stop a housefly and yup, you guessed it.  More fight scenes.  Terry proceeds to smack the monkey crap out of Kendo's students until he challenges Terry.   Kendo recognizes the fighting style to a man that years ago was executed for mixing his blood with a Chinese woman, a punishment of death.  Before he dies, he tells young Terry to improve his skills and always be a number one man.

You gawking at me, cameraman?

Kendo agrees that Terry can watch over Sairi and the Yakuza realizing their own people are getting slaughtered to tackle Terry recruit Junjo to deal with him.  Hmm, didn't you sell off his sister, Terry?  Looks like that came to bite you in the ass after all.

Can Terry foil the Yakuza?  Will Junjo be the superior fighter?

Now given you have a lesser villain as our protagonist, the bloody fighting styles, the complete contempt of women, this film got an X rating in 1974 and has at least 3 different cuts of it.   Ranging from a tamer 75 R rated minute film, to 87 with English subtitles and Japanese release to the unvarnished 91 X rated version,  I'd point out it was the violence that gave it such a rating.  You aren't seeing women being plowed like the back 40, it was simply a factor the film was so dicey for some they did not know how to catalog it.

Chiba is a muscle bound but lean, fast moving bad ass and kudos to the cameramen about to keep up with him and keep each other out of frame.   This film also spawned two sequels and yes we will have at those as well.

Sonny Chiba was deemed Bruce Lee's competition and yet most of his characters ranged from villain, anti-hero to noble warrior while Bruce always seemed to play a good guy, with the exception of his thug in Marlowe starring James Garner.  
The action is sound, the scenes impressive and the story is simplistic but gripping.  It is now in the public domain so give it a download or find it on a streaming site.

Hi. We wanted to talk to you about our lord and savior, Gorjira.

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter

And we are back! Welcome back to Rotten Reelz Reviews and... I have a ridiculous over the top film. Yeah you knew the first review of the year would be something just odd. This time around we are step into the duo genre of Horror Western. While this phenomenon has been a constant replenishing itself in the last 4 decades, this film is part of the first notion of introducing historical figures with fictional characters. Okay enough positive. Now let's get through this.

This is Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter.

First off the title is wrong. Yes Jesse James is the key character but he meets Frankenstein's Granddaughter. So yeah already right out of the gate and we got issues.

No, not a ten gallon hat, I'm just pleased to meet ya.

This film is part of a drive-in/marque double feature also directed by director/actor William Beaudine who did TV episodes of Naked City, The Green Hornet and dozens of Lassie episodes. Both features were shot in 8 days at the Corriganville Movie Ranch and you can honestly say, that was clearly shot in 8 days. Along with this opus came the Horror Western, Billy the Kid vs Dracula. Oh don't worry, we will have a video review coming soon all about that stink nugget.

Jesse James (John Lupton of Airport 1975, Julius Caesar, Red River, B.J. And the Bear, Miracle on Ice, Charlie's Angels, The Rockford Files) is the notorious Kansas City outlaw hiding out in Mexico avoiding the Marshal MacPhee (character actor Jim Davis of Big Jake, Time Tunnel, Dallas, The Day Time Ended, Comes a Horseman, Project U.F.O., Oregon Trail and The Choirboys). Brother Frank is, well he's not here. Maybe they went their separate ways, maybe he died from syphilis and maybe he atoned and became a priest. All those options would be theatrically sound and a decent flashback sequence but nope! Not this film.

Doll, my milkshake brings all the dead to the yard.

So the other oddity in this here one horse town is a European castle in Mexico. A tad out of place wouldn't you say? The castle is owned by a Frankenstine? Frodrick perhaps? No it is in fact granddaughter Maria Frankenstein (Narda Onyx of Wire Service, Broken Arrow, Steve Canyon, The Third Man, 77 Sunset Strip, Richard Diamond, Private Detective, North to Alaska and The Tall Man) who has taken up the family business. And by that, yes digging up corpses attempting to reanimate them. You lack Dr. West's formula!

Back to Jesse, who is not traveling alone as he has a huge slab of beef watching his back. Seriously this dude makes Jason Vorhees' Kane Hodder look small. Hank (not Hardware but Cal Bolder of Bonanza, One of Our Spies Is Missing, Daniel Boone, The Girl from U.N.C.L.E., Star Trek and Cimarron Strip) looks like he could wrestle a Kodak bear and the bear would tap out.

After a gunfight ensues and Jesse is the victor, Hank got injured and the villagers tell him of Lady Frankenstein (no not the Italian Softcore Porn/Horror) and how far her castle was. Given you could see this gaudy out of place castle quite easily I guess pointing to the matte painting wasn't really needed. Over a half hour into the movie and our leads finally meet up. That robbery subplot was vital I guess.

Maria is overwhelmed by these visitors and goes right to assisting Hank...with of course her own ideas in mind. Frankly I thought she was going to jump his bones from all the eye banging she was doing.

Me and Boomstick's getting hitched.  IT'S NOT WEIRD!!!

Will Hank be okay? Can Jesse stay above the law? Will Maria turn to outlaws into walking corpses?

Hey kids! Who wants a fun, film fact?! No one? Tough titty.

Bought and built by Stuntman Ray "Crash" Corrigan, this ranch has been the scenic background for movie and TV such as: Star Trek, Fort Apache, The Lone Ranger, The Robe and The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin. With a oak woodland providing terrain like caves,lakes, mountains and rock outcroppings. There is even a man made lake and waterfall giving a bunker with thick windows gives way to underwater shooting, allowing camera and crew to stay nice and dry.

Now thankfully we have an older man rather than the usual fresh faced twenty something portraying this bandit and well, his performance is better than this film deserves. No I do not think it rivals Robert Duvall in The Great Northfield Minnesota Raid nor do I feel it comes close to Bill Paxton's depiction in Frank and Jesse but at least we have a harden cat playing like a man on the run. Twitchy, on edge and sharp to dealing with trouble with his coffin nail driver. Or if you prefer, six shooter.

With the charming location, the deep woods and the quaint folksy environment, the stage is set but alas the film is too confusing for this to be deemed worthy of a Hammer productions or the Universal Studios Movie Monsters alumni. I took away from a professional creation in the allotted 8 days they shot it and with the quality it is a sound production but again just felt silly.

Damn, these castle orgies do go on all night.