Friday, October 24, 2014

Linnea Quigley Week: Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers

Welcome back for Day 4 of Linnea Quigley Week and apparently I have angered the cinema deities be not talking up Michael Caine's Alfie since I have be lumped with YET ANOTHER Fred Olen Ray movie. Worry not for me fair readers, I shall wage through the quagmire of tripe and hold my head high. Well we have a cankerous sore of a B-movie dark comedy horror awaiting us so we can't put it off any longer. Linnea Quigley given second billing in our wondrous film feature.
This is Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers.

Sorority initiations are rough!

Our scintillating tale begins around a tawdry bar infested with some sort of prostitution racket. With a narrative of our L.A. private investigator Jack Chandler (Jay Richardson of Terror Night, Out of Time, Brothers in Arms, L.A. Heat, Terminal Force and Witchcraft II: The Temptress) a seedy detective minutes away from being evicted from his office, apartment and life when he is hired to find a runaway Samantha (Linnea Quigley of The Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Demons, Hollywood Cops, Boogie Boy, Death Mask, The Killer Eye and Animals) who may have gotten mixed up in more than shenanigans (hi-jinks not the restaurant franchise) and is hot on the case... and by that I mean slobs around and looks for clues and harasses people with his whiskey laden breath.

Yeah, I'm drunk. So what?

After a bit of haggling, pounding the pavement and actually using his eyes he secludes to a dive of a bar that seems to have abducted Penthouse Pets for their "entertainment". Seriously, the bar does not get much clientele that seems interested in bar snacks, booze or chicken wings. Rumors on the street is that a gang of prostitutes may be in league with a satanic cult that sacrifices the johns and keeps the loot, cars and other possessions. The leader of this nefarious death cult is simply known as the Stranger (Gunnar Hansen of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Demon Lover, Hellblock 13, Rachel's Attic, Witchhunter and The Deepening) who insists dismembering the hookers' clients is far more profitable than having repeating customers. Can Jack get Samantha out of this bloody bordello of baddies or end up the next one on the chopping block?

As you may have guessed it this is YET ANOTHER blatant excuse for full front nudity, girls contorting and writhing about and copious amounts of gore. Only highlight was the chainsaw dance because they were actual saws going with Quigley dancing about.

A few comments about our "movie" now.

Our movie was shot in about five and a half days. It took over seven hours to paint Linnea Quigley's body for her Virgin Dance of the Double Chainsaws number. The original UK video release was not allowed to have the word chainsaw in the title, so the video cover has the words Hollywood Hookers with a large silhouette of a chainsaw in between. Baffling ain't it?

Grownup enough for ya, mister?