Okay this week has been a bit crazy.
Interview and Audio Review was awesome mind you. Again thank you
Dustin for a stimulating take from fan to director. I have managed
to let the week slip through my fingers that we may have a
continuation to next week. Today's moving pictures hails from Spain
via Javier Aguirre (Exosmois,
Daphnis and Chloe, Acto de posesion, El consenso, Children's War, Los
pajaritos and Voz)
exploitation, drama and romance director extraordinaire and Spain's
answer to Christopher Lee in how many horror films we can drag him
into, actor Paul Naschy
(The Mummy's Revenge, Vengeance of the Zombies, Night of
the Werewolf, Countess Dracula's Orgy of Blood, El lado oscuro, Rojo
sangre, and Rottweiler) as
we tackle the Lord of the Vampires and Prince of Darkness, Dracula.
This is Count Dracula's Great Love a.k.a. Cemetery Tramps, Dracula's
Virgin Lovers, The Great Love of Count Dracula and Cemetery Girls.
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| Hungry EeeYEeess... |
Yup, it wouldn't be
a seventies foriegn horror film without at least six alternative English
titles. God bless them for it. Particularly curious on the
Cemetery Tramps title. Were they really kicking that one around or
was it just the working title?
Deep in the
Carpathian Mountains, an eerie sanitarium looms over as two delivery
men are off loading a large crate the size and shaped well enough to
be a coffin in transit. The owner Dr. Marlow is now where to be
found at the newly purchased wacko basket, the two men decide to raid
the crate on the off chance it is filled with jewels and gold but
more likely death. Ah I am familiar with this move from Dungeons &
Dragons RPG games. It's were the party ignores the jewels and riches
and heads right into the death. Poking around the pad of nutter one
of the men is smacked in the face with an axe and the other gets fed
on by a man in a black velvet cape. Boom! Go to opening credits!
Now that's how you get a story going.
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| And now, another rousing game of Where's Karl's hand at. |
Meantime,
a stagecoach carrying four young women and one strapping lad (Cue
Penthouse cheesy blues music)
Karen (Haydee Politoff of The Collector, Queens of Evil,
Interrabang, The Virgin of Bali, Chloe in the Afternoon and The
'Human' Factor), Senta
(Rosanna Yanni of Kiss Me Monster, Sadist Erotica,
Hunchback of the Morgue, Petra Delicado and First and Last Love),
Marlene (Ingrid Garbo of Yo y las mujeres, Beunos dias,
Acapulco, Maniac Mansion, Count Dracula's Great Love and Touch Me
Not) and Elke (Mirta
Miller of Ninas.... al salon, Pepito piscina, The Shark Hunter, Last
Harem, El cepo, Bolero and Blockbuster)
and randy lad or at least he should be, Imre Polvi (Victor
Alcazar of Horror Rises from the Tomb, Hunchback of the Morgue, It
Happened at Nightmare Inn, original Green Inferno, Vengeance of the
Zombies, El espectro del terror and Earthquake in Chile)
are all traveling along when their plot device um carriage wheel goes
flying off at Borgo Pass, a region known for treacherous road. The
the coach driver died after being hurled of his perch and the five of
them must seek shelter and as luck would have it, a visible nuthouse
not far from their previous peril. The five hoof it to sanitarium
as it begins to thunder and rain down. Of course Dr. Marlow is a
perfect host, inviting them in for food and shelter...maybe a
midnight snack or two.
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| Last known picture of these character actors. |
Yeah big spoiler,
Marlow is Dracula. WHAT??!!! HOW DARE YOU, JAKE??!!! Yeah
because none of you had clue one on this. Spare unto me. Please
readers, I know how vast your intellect is or otherwise you would
never be reading these fine quality reviews. So shockingly enough
"Dr. Marlow proceeds to play hide and go suck with his guests
building up an army of the undead to nip out and snag innocent
virgins of the village with the exception of Karen. Dracula seeks
to rebirth his lost daughter Radna in a blood ritual that will
resurrect her from the darkness. Karen must be willingly become a
bride of the undead and rule with Dracula for all eternity.
Naturally
when you make vampiric tarts you chain them up in you dungeon.
Them's the rules, people. So what else can we say about this
film? Hmm well lot of whipping scenes, lesbian vampire scenes,
plenty of topless scenes and ugh, seventies you can really drag those
frames out let me tell you.
Will Karen be
seduced by the dark side? Is Dracula into bigamy? What was the point
of the ax to the head and stair falling scene five frickin' times in
the opening credits?
Well the pacing is
fair, the dubbing a bit off but nothing really horrible per say and
if you needed a flick with jiggly girl vamps, you are in luck.
Frankly at the end of the day this feels like someone wanting to make
a fetish film but not ballsy enough for a solid R rating. Ranking
under PG somehow it is nothing special. I liked a lot of the
cinematography but Hammer does it better.
Shot in this gorgeous
location in Madrid called the Parque de El Capricho, where the
Duchess Maria Josefa Pimentel had constructed and preserved during her reign. It has a palace, a lakeside and even a
maze leading to the bunker made during the Spanish Civil War where
the dungeon was to be in the film. Also this huge iron bridge which
was apparently the first of its kind in Spain.
Beautiful to look
at but at the end of the day this genre has been done better.
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| Even in death this guy is still has chiseled good looks. |
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