Death Camp III in 2D!

Hiya folks, we are back again! So once again, I have been called upon for my humble writing skills to give a movie a review. Not too shocking as that is kind of my schtick. A young writer/director Matt Frame (Where's Mary Jane, Baghdad or Bust, GGG: One Night Stab and No Joke) contacted me directly as he will be attending the Requiem FearFest in Montreal and wanted my take on what I took away from his film.

Now this is actually a horror spoof, so yes a horror/comedy on a popular Paramount slasher, so expect a few Crystal Lake references as you read this. This is Camp Death III in 2D!

Mongo is easily startled.  Just a cat off camera.

In spite of the backstory...I mean exposition of Camp Crystal Meph having ghost stories of Johann Van Damme (Terry Mullet of Alcatraz, Fringe, Red Widow, Almost Human, Van Helsing, Supergirl and Jude's Hope), a vengeful killer that stocks these here woods, mutilating corpses and probably putting on his own backwoods production of The Muppets. With properly sewn flesh puppets. The remaining survivor, Alice (Cynthia Chalmers of Behind the 8 Ball, Rippers and Camp Death III in 2D!) stops Johann...for now.

Hmm you'd think this would be a bad idea to restart the camp but never stopped Camp Rolling Hills  (Sleepaway Camp II reference!!) so onward and upward, Camp Crystal Meph. Lead counselor Todd Boogjumper (Dave Peniuk of Night Owl High, What We Once Were, The Young Eccentrics, Rushback and The Wrong People) is a man. A man with a goal. To turn his uncle's formerly cursed campgrounds into a rehabilitation center for the mentally ill. Yup, a woodsy region cut off of main roads, communications and nutters. Well that can only go swimmingly, can't it?

Uncle Mel (Darren Andrichuk of In the End, Standard Action, Phantom, 3 Hours till Dead and What We Once Were) seems less than impressed with this turn out but I guess he owes loan sharks so he goes along with Todd's plan. Special girl Rachel (Angela Galanopoulos of Sentience, NPC, Michelle's, Ice, Camp Death III in 2D! And Little Olivier) believes in the goals aside for the camp, getting the folk that gave a crap up until a week ago, some righteous God fearing help but of course she had...an accident. Remember, half of half assed writing is a tragic story in the background. Or she makes toliet on the floor.

WE DEMAND BOOTY! Silence male sexist pig boy! Sorry they always sneak in to slasher films. We have period based 80s hairstyles, clothing and totally the lingo. Cue Kane Hodder!!

Filmed in Michael Myers stalker vision.

The composition is similar to Harry Manfredi on the piano helps capture the mood.  We have all the cliches.  A squirrely elderly warning of the dangers of Crystal Meph, irritable bad boys, jiggly girls, the practical joker, sex fiends and sex addicts.   I am pretty sure we will have some psychic phenomenons as well.    Kind of disappointed to not seeing a pedophile cook archetype from Sleepaway Camp.

A few points of observation. I get the huge impact the third Friday the 13^th had on folk but this honestly feels more like a dig on the second and fifth movie with more killer POV shots, the more troubled teens to twenty somethings and the fact they are all...not mentally above board.

Now we need weed, booze and per-marital sex and our slasher will manifest from the woods with weapon of choice.   How about an axe made up of dead badgers?  Hey I have seen the machete, chainsaw, and butcher knife. Gimme something unusual. Howzabout a musical number?

Campers and staff alike are dying in horrific ways...may be something to this lunatic in the woods thing. Is it Johann from beyond the grave or an elaborate fan turned copycat killer???

On an estimate of 35,000 CAD, this film has rauchy, goofy and having fun. Clearly this was never meant to be taken seriously, Even the squirrels hate Uncle Mel. Very reminiscent of Airplane or the lesser known horror spoof, Pandemonium with Tom Smothers, Carol Kane, Judge Reinhold, Phil Hartman and Victoria Carroll; manages to be clever where Scary Movie failed miserably after its first film. Even then, the dick and fart jokes were tedious rather than amusing.

This film is tackling a series 30 years old, trying to not make too many current references and cash in on the myriad of tropes and cliches' is what parody was meant for. To pick on story lines with so many holes in it, you feel like plot points were completely missed, forgotten or no one gave a damn, gives you a sense of fans having fun and taking notes.

So take your brain off the hook, watch and learn and maybe you will pick up enough pointers how to torment your own franchise. I'll see about a The Texas Chainsaw Massacre with a chili cook-off, vindictive characters, a coming of age love story and discount chain of fireworks deaths.   I'll work on that write up.

Counselor Bad Touch!