Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft

Hey gang I'm back again. So with the more than positive responses to Stephanie Beaton and her films, I was looking high and low for another one. Heck if the actress herself doesn't think this writing is a complete dumpster fire, I might as well keep going. So I did make mention of going further into her sequels to beloved cult classic franchise and yeah some have been utterly screwy. This time around we change location as Lutz (Stephanie Beaton) has been whisked away to Jolly Ol' England (Yes everyone across the pond probably hate that term) and must do battle with vampires...again.  This is Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft.

Be honest, do you like my Sailor Mercury outfit?

Dumb horny guys try to pick up women vastly more than they and looking to get lucky. Fellas, your dangers senses should be kicking in. This club is packed and there are bound to be better looking guys than either of you. Led to a stairwell and the women turn out to be vampires. When they are trying to drain the guys, they're making out with each other. This feels like how a horny fan boy thinks bisexuality works.

Okay for the fans of this series, a few notations. 1) No Will Spanner. Yup everyone's favorite warlock/attorney/occult expert is not in this one. 2) Lucy Lutz (Stephanie Beaton of Wicthcraft IX: Bitter Flesh, Zombie Gang Bangers, Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft, Monster in My Car, Eyes of the Werewolf, Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood and A Passion) is on the trail of a madman sorcerer hell bent on ruling the world and he likes killing people. 3) Lastly, no Detective Garner so Lutz is on her own.

Steve was found lightly groped to death.  Poor bastard.

This mad sorcerer is Hyde (Kerry Knowlton of Exposed! Pro Wrestling's Greatest Secrets, Immortal Combat and Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft) is being held by Bureau 17, a division of Interpol that deals with supernatural and preternatural effects, scenarios and creatures.

Now with those comments out of the way, welcome to London as Lucy Lutz has to deal with Interpol over an evil and cruel practitioner of magic she is suppose to extradite back to the states so he can face his crimes and probably the death penalty. I'm hoping for the wet maritime rope whipping scenario from Casino Royale. By the way, Lutz has about two bags packed. She's supposed to be there for maybe a couple of days. Agent Dixon (Sean Harry of Virtual Terror, Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft, Those Video Guys and Talking Who) has been assigned to Detective Lutz and the two try to bond while he's driving her. HOWEVER, the audio quality is AWFUL. Yeah I had to put headphones on just to hear it better. I don't think the music portion was added at the same time as the dialogue and it is mixed poorly. The music is dominating the scenes. Hence the headphones. Outdoor audio not fully fading so it just pops and then back to the next scene. I will have your spleen, audio editor!

The main focus of the movie is Agent Celeste Sheridan (Wendy Cooper of Breeders, Witchcraft X; Mistress of the Craft, 24 Hours in London, Blood, Bodywork, Warrior Sisters and The Rain Has Stopped) has other worldly powers. Not sure if this is from another dimension, aliens or possibly an avatar of an ancient god. She also goes through a transformation not unlike Sailor Moon aaaand she's a cop. Well that's not confusing at all. Witch Cop! Agent Sorceress! Meh, this joke going nowhere.

A cadre of bisexual vampire vixens led by Raven (Eileen Daily of Razor Blade Smile, Sacred Flesh, Cradle of Fear, Kannibal, Sentinels of Darkness, Machines of Love and Hate, Evil Calls: The Raven and Albion Rising)head into the precinct, attack several of the agents and take Hyde. Maybe omnisexual vampires is more accurate. The greatest loss of them all, Steve. Uh the front desk guy. The lynch pin, the glue that held Bureau 17 together... yeah okay he really wasn't that important but dammit someone needs to mourn Steve. I think.

No Lutz, no. That's how Steve always wanted to go out.

Now once again I warm my pimp slap hand when the writer makes Lutz suddenly startled and confused that the supernatural exists. She claims to have been chasing Hyde, sees dead cultists and alleged vampire attacks. Um she's already dealt with this with cultists and vampires prior. C'mon writer, either watch the previous movie to borrow elements from it or get the screenplay.

Continuity, dammit. Just let's not make Lutz forget all she has already learned.

Director/writer/producer Elisar Cabrera (Demonsoul, Virtual Horror, Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft, FWA British Uprising and Those Video Guys) made Lutz a secondary character in this to showcase Celeste more.

Raven wants Hyde to bring about a demon, god or possibly a being over an outside realm. Did I mention some of this is hard to hear? Only Hyde has the ability to read this ancient tomb about the Walpurgis (or Valpurgis) ritual to give Raven UNLIMTED POWER!!! Y'know, that old chestnut. Now given this guy is a wrestler, the dialogue isn't so far fetched for his overacting but wow. That tank top he is wearing just not flattering. The cut of it makes it look like the guy has a beer and a shot belly.

Senpai, NOTICE MEEEEE!!!!!

Celeste seems to have telekinesis, power bolts and think some flight. Her...fighting capabilities is well a bit of sword fighting and some fisticuffs. Though her telekinetic powers seems to lift Just Juice. And English, what in the nine hells is Fairy Liquid?   Guessing a dish washing liquid or a creamer? Meh, I'll look it up later.

Dixon and Lutz got close quickly after the first vampire attack as they had each others' back. So I guess that means have a hot bath and a shag. Hmm what happens in London, stays in London? Just she didn't want to stay in her hotel room? Hey not going to judge the lady, I was just curious.

Hyde and Raven do chew up quite a bit of the scenery between them, leaving walls sparse. 

 

Even for an Indie Horror movie, scenes dissolve real quick, the editing feels abrupt, the audio quality is choppy and there are several scenes not cut properly. FX is fair, the verbal sparring between Raven and Celeste is on par with a superhero flick, so that's nothing bad. Just wanted to see more of Lutz as she is already a bad ass character and given she is the only one that ties the original series, I was hoping she had lead on this.

Eileen Daily is clearly having fun with her role as lead vampiress and I love how NO ONE questions Celeste's vinyl Sailor Moon like outfit and stiletto heels. Here at Bureau 17 we are a bit lax with dress code, old bean.

Good staking scenes and no one-liners? Here's yer stake dinner! Got wood? Start your own branch! Guess you won't be pining for Valpuris! Okay so maybe not a one-liner then.

Well the full skinny, finally out of California, decent enough story ideas without the full range of technical know how. Needs more than one camera and understanding of blocking and firing the tone deaf audio editor. Beaton is enjoying herself and gets a lot more to do. Vampire slaying for example! Hell if she never wanted to go back to Cali, Bureau 17 has more than a few openings, thanks to vamps. The root of all evil. Yes, got one more in.

Vamp nibbling...apparently. Whatever.