The Revenge of Doctor X

Hey there gang! So welcoming this July in our midst, we can take in a mad scientist movie. Yeah it's been a while and clearly we were due. Howzabout a co-op of American and Japanese cast and production companies? I mean that never ends in tears, right? Okay I will level with you, I have gone a bit crackers with Public Domain and there has to be something entertaining. This is The Revenge of Doctor X.

Those tacos aren't sitting well, Walt. You may want to crack a window.

Worry not my readers, it has alternative titles. Because it wouldn't be this blog without those. Also known as: The Double Garden, Venus Flytrap, Body of the Prey, The Revenge of Dr. X and The Devil Garden. Produced by Toei Company (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Ghost in the Shell, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Scanners and The Way of the Dragon) and re-redistributed by New Horizons Home Video and my old nemesis, Mill Creek Entertainment; I just know I am getting something worthwhile.

Brought to me less than glorious mono, the title screen reminds me of General Hospital in the sixties and the organ music for the intro is abysmal.  Already we are off to a good start.  Scientist Dr. Bragan (James Craig of The Devil and Daniel Webster, The Omaha Trail, Seven Miles from Alcatraz, Dangerous Partners, Northwest Stampede, Code Two and Studio 57) smokes like a chimney and must launch a rocket out of Cape Canaveral. The line was brilliant. "How in the hell can anyone be so utterly stupid as to build a rocket base on the coast of Florida?!" With weather patterns being what they are, Dr. Bragan seems a trifle irked. It was then I looked at IMDB and found that the over the top dialogue is supplied by none other than Ed Wood (Glen or Glenda, Jail Bait, The Violent Years, Outlaw Queen, The Bride and the Beast, Plan 9 from Outer Space and Night of the Ghouls) so I prepare myself for the barb wire enema awaiting me.

C'mon Doc, let's go root around in our own filth.

With the tropical storm evading the launch site, all systems are go! Cue the stock footage! A few days in and there could be a possible error in their calculations. "Could be? Could be...Doctor Stanley?" Dr. Paul Nakamura (James Yagi of The Ugly American, The Twillight Zone, The Outer Limits, King Kong vs Godzilla and Walk Don't Run) being Dr. Bragan's assistant tells him maybe his skull crushing headaches will pass if he isn't around so much stress and vacations in Japan. Land of Kaijui, cyborgs, mecha and Kurosawa films. Might work.

Bragan goes on for a 3 minute speech how the War made it impossible for him to visit Japan and his botany major never fulfilled. So how does one go from the study of plants to rockets? Hell if I know. Even with his rambling of the weight of mathematics with the bombs and eventual movement to the Space Race I was still baffled. I am re-titling this the Adventures of Doctor Snooze. If painter Bob Ross and pompous mansplainer John Agar had their genes spliced, this man would be the outcome. 7 minutes in and I want a nap.  Might also be the constant General Hospital soundtrack of ORGAN MUSIC.  More organ music in this flick than Carnival of Souls and that is saying something. Mostly that both films have their highs and lows.   Mostly.

Bragan's swingin' pad comes with a gorgeous assistant Norkio (Atsuko Rome of Akuma no niwa and Venus Flytrap). Too late for me to get this gig?   I can prattle on about rockets and plants too.   Meh. This entire film is shot in Japan and the kooky incidental music for sitcom is played for him running out of gas.   Gas station attendant (Al Ricketts of Akuma no niwa and Venus Flytrap) has taken to snake handling in his off hours. Yup it's that kind of movie where it is padded more than a psych ward.  Who asked for this film and why does it feel like Catholic punishment?   Upside, I can send a copy to Gitmo for interrogation methods.  Gimme what I want or you're watching Venus Flytrap again!   Gas station attendant (no name given in the whole time on screen) is a one man crack-up.  By that, he seems to only make himself laugh. He is also ADR as all his dialogue has clearly been re-added post production. GO TO JAPAN NOW!!!!

Lured by the flora and fauna, Bragan scoops up some of each to take with him to Japan. I'm sure Customs will love that and the guy with the rubber glove will be a firm but gentle lover as well.

Shall we get the goofs out of the way? I heard the howl of a coyote. In Japan. Where they would not be native to. Also customs would not allow live plants, fruits or foreign soil brought into their country by a commercial passenger.

Finally, some eye candy.

Okay got all that snark out of the way.  Let's make a quick note of camera work. Blocking is terrible, focus keeps popping in and out and there really isn't anything creatively done with the camera. No wide angles, roof shots or crane work that might have pepped this film up a bit. Also I am not certain if Ed Wood understood the medical definition of nervous breakdown as the Doctor seems to have them every five minutes. They seem to come on like Cluster migraines or micro seizures. Longed for some Tommy Wiseau reading like: "You're TEARING ME APART, Lisa!!"

Naturally our mad scientist some assistants for his plant endeavors, so alongside Noriko is a dwarf who I don't even have the actor's name or even the character's name. Bravo movie. Seriously, not even the credits had this sad cat's name.

Also I am convinced either God or Mother Nature is trying to kill Bragan as boulders, trees and other such debris kept hurtling its way at him which didn't seem to faze or even bother him. Giant ass rock almost crushes the guy and he shrugs it off like a minor inconvenience. The continuous organ music is Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.  How did I find out?   I looked it up.  Figured I should see to what classical music was being butchered along with my sanity. The main problem of this film is that it dithers getting to the experiments. When he isn't losing his shit, screaming at Noriko or having yet another sightseeing trip, he might actually get around to doing some science.   Let's us not forget he's staying near AN ACTIVE VOLCANO!!!!  YUP!   Very relaxing this time of year.  So soothing is lava flow in your living room.  WHAT THE HELL??!!!

Cher is prepped to go under the knife just one more time.

SCIENCE WAITS FOR NO MAN!!! Unless you are in this flick. So imagine crossing Frankenstein with a touch of The Day of the Triffids. That sounds a bit exciting, right?

58 minutes! That is how long before we get to the science! Yeah most creature features by this time, the monster has escaped, racked up a double digit body count, the local law enforcement has taken the scientist downtown. Things would be happening! He tampered in God's domain tropes would be flying about. Not this opus. Oh God no. The kooky incidental music is driving me up the wall at this point. Just out of place and I guess decent dissolves and a montage would be too much to ask of this flick.

An hour and 8 minutes in and finally our creature appears. With Venus fly trap hands, an eerie howl and tentacles, I immediately feared for Noriko. It is getting a bit Hentai there.

This hour and 33 minute movie drags on like a snail on a salt bed. I am certain my beard grew, ass fell asleep and brain cells committed suicide. Don't worry fellas, the topless female pearl divers confirm your tiresome question. For those not in on the joke, aye there be titty.

I was informed that Rifftrax made fun of this movie, which would have suited me fine. Riffing by your lonesome gets dull.

Hmm that's a botched nose job.