Madman

Hey folks I have returned! I know not nearly the impressive staple as clouds parting and a booming voice from above but I must make do. So what is true to form with this blog? How about a 80s slasher film about a legendary mass murderer? Yeah one day it will be the musings of an Albert Brooks film or possibly Glenn Ford Western. Instead howzabout a crazed lunatic that has been summoned in Bloody Mary fashion? On the edge of your seats yet? This is Madman a.k.a. Madman Marz a.k.a. The Legend Lives

Jeez, most bad acts just get the hook.

Well if it wasn't an obscure Indie Horror movie, the alternative titles clearly has made its way telling me the stars have aligned. Probably not for the better. Let's get into this, shall we?

Our opening credits are shot more like end credits and have a pronounced piano score but hey who am I to judge? I think I can also hear a synthesizer. My God those things were rampant in the 80s.

It all started during a campfire at North Sea Cottages, a special retreat for gifted children... No seriously, that is the tagline intro to the scene. Then Professor Charles Xavier drafted this gifted youngsters in his school for the gifted and they had to fight Magneto. No wait, yeah that's a different retreat and far more gifted youngsters.

No zombies in the hot tub. I checked.

Instead we get to hear a little diddy about Madman Marz, hiding in the woods looking for victims. We are treated to what one could only conclude as flashbacks of Madman Marz's greatest hits or slayings while the song is going on. SLEEP TIGHT KIDS! Oh and severed heads float around here, zombies pop out of the ground, stay off the moors and beware of wolves. There. That will shut them up about canoe rides.

This editing choice I find out later is actually later footage of the film spliced in. Congrats film! You are your own spoilers! I mean, what the hell? I do my level best not to give much away and the damn movie is doing it for me.

Okay before we go any further down this rabbit hole, I have to be honest. With that in mind, TP (Tony Fish a.k.a. Tony Nunziata of Madman and performer of Song of the Fifth Wind and I Don't Need Words) and Betsy (Actress/writer/director Gaylen Ross of Dawn of the Dead, Madman and Creepshow) are the real drawing power in this movie. The supporting cast means well but unfortunately they really don't have the training or natural talent. No fault to them, it's just line delivery is very clunky or they simply could not word it as well to sound more fluid.

And there on the handle,was a hook...

Trust me, Betsy looks pretty bad ass toting a boom stick around. I'm watching this and my brain kicks in as I find myself saying, "Francine of Dawn of the Dead? What are you doing here?"

Naturally we have a dumb ass kid that doesn't take the legend seriously and proceeds to quietly chant Marz's name summoning him into the woods. Smooth, kid. While you're being a complete ninny hammer, why not get Candyman and Bloody Mary as well? I mean your self-preservation skills are so low and all, maybe all three will duke it out on who gets the next kill.

Our teens to twenty somethings all group off and Marz starts cutting a bloody swath through the grounds. With not knowing where everyone is, clearly we need to form search parties, SHOUT THEIR NAMES REALLY LOUD and hope for the best. Doesn't that sound keen?

At least people are arming themselves. Almost unheard of in a slasher film. Usually they grab an ax handle or a rock and try to fend of the killer, but this time we got folks packing heaters. A roscoe, a piece, the difference. For those too young to know these terms, I speak of guns.

As the night is rapidly dwindling away, the survivors just know if they can make it out of the campgrounds and get to the cops, everything will be alright...or will it? DUN DUN DUN!!!

Now some Fun Film Facts...or just odd news attached to this particular flick. As this was supposed to be happening during mid spring, the early winter had to be combatant with painting leaves of the trees and the bushes green on location to give the illusion. Really makes you feel for the cast, doesn't it?

Our Madman Marz, Paul Ehlers received the news his wife went into labor. So unable to get out of his eerie mountain man murderer apparel, Ehlers greeted his son Jonathan in full makeup including fake blood and overalls. Let's just hope the lad didn't imprint on that.

With a feel of being a hybrid of Friday the 13^th, The Burning and Bloody Mary, I have seen this same formula handled better. Again not a bad film but it didn't really strive to do something of real note.

Well...there goes his modeling caareer.

Hospital Massacre

Well welcome back readers and Happy Valentine's Day. Now I was convinced there were no more Valentine's Day themed horror films. Oh how I was wrong. Point in fact, I discovered a slasher film based around Valentine's Day past, a spurned horny guy became a crazed horny guy and it also has alternative titles. This is Hospital Massacre a.k.a. X-Ray a.k.a. Ward 13 a.k.a. Be My Valentine, or Else...

Darkman??!!

Penned by writer Marc Behm (The Return of Dr. Mabuse, Help!, Someone Behind the Door, Lady Chatterley's Lover, Deadly Circuit and Eye of the Beholder), we go right to title cards and eerie music intro. Sets the tone that we are in Horror movie territory and I appreciate that. The year is 1961 and a less than popular boy name of Harold leaves a Valentine's Day card for a girl Susan. Susan and her friend David outright mock Harold. Harold snaps, breaks into the house and offs David with of all things, a hatstand? FYI, the house is Valentine decorated. I didn't even think that was a thing, let alone in 1961.

19 years later Susan (Playboy Playmate Barbi Benton of ChiPs, Fantasy Island, Deathstalker, Riptide and The Love Boat) is all grown up, divorced and has a daughter Eva (Tammy Simpson of X-Ray and All Summer in a Day). Smug ass ex-husband Tom (Jimmy Stathis of Dogs, The Black Room, Vultures, Drug Runners, Double Deception and House) seems to almost hold Eva in distain. Mommy's little white lie. Probably not mine. Okay, that is the vibe I get of this cat. Ex-hubby gets an evil orchestral tune as well.

Death by Coat Rack!!!

With her new boyfriend, Jack (Jon Van Ness of Tourist Trap, Some Kind of Hero, In the Custody of Strangers, The Natural, The Hitcher, Aligator II: The Mutation and Supernatural), Susan needs to stop off at the hospital for a routine check up...or is it? DUN DUN DUN!! Jack points out "Isn't this the hospital that had all that trouble last year?" Well that is minor exposition so I won't slap you, Jack. This time.

Fair warning, there is a sea of red herring in our flick so get your waders on. Hospital intern Harry (Charles Lucia of Hill Street Blues, Lou Grant, T.J. Hooker, Stingray, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, Tank Girl, Indecent Behavior III and Edie & Pen) is one of those overtly friendly guys around anyone with boobs. The "I'm two drinks away from peeping in your window creeper," kind of guy.

Meanwhile a man in surgical scrubs roams the hospital, as most doctors do, but to a creepy theme track. The killer perhaps??

One of the doctors is killed by said scrubs and he tampers with her file. Doctors Saxon and Beam read this paperwork and clearly establishes Susan is unstable and should be detained for 42 hours of observation. Meanwhile this is a new chart. She looks a bit put out as these lies aren't registering with her doctors. You've been coming to them for HOW LONG??!!!

Hey Earl, this chart says she belongs in da wacko basket! WTF, movie? WTF.

I did laugh my ass off at the name Nurse Kitty. Yeah it just sounded straight out of some cheesy porno. Nurse Kitty! I need you to take their temperature! Deep!

With severed heads being snuck into her room, wayward boyfriend Jack must have fallen asleep...FOR HOURS!!! Good God, man. Didn't you need food, drink or even a sound piss?! She did say she'd be a few minutes. Maybe he concluded it would be like shopping for shoes for a few minutes and figured, "Meh I can get a nap in."

"My God, they're real!"

Yes my piggy manchild readers, there's some skin in this 80s slasher film. Yeah I knew the plot wouldn't keep your attention so don't worry, there are boobs.

Will the bodies stack like cord wood? Will any sense be made of the script? Who is the killer, besides the obvious guy??

So interesting trivia, they actually had an abandoned hospital to shoot this all in. Mind you, that could mean random hobos, rats the size of a hubcap and rivers of piss down the hallways but overall; they didn't have to worry about blocking the building or censoring actual patients.

Apparently the room was packed during Barbi Benton's nude scene. Go figure. I for one was shocked. Why she had to be nude for an examination that wasn't even a breast exam??

This slasher has all the hallmarks of Final Exam or Hide and Go Shriek. A stand alone film that didn't need or warrant a sequel but, of course the perposterious scenario of happenings was really less than feasible. Some good ideas but not well executed. Decent cast and crew, just goofy story.

"Yes, they're real."

Sneak Peek Preview: Axemas

Ah me, the demanding life of a film reviewer.  Hey folk, welcome back to the blog.   So thanks to Dustin Ferguson and the Nemesis 5 review, a colleague and friend of Dustin's asked if I could give his film a viewing while he is already working on the sequel.  Now how can I ignore that level of hard work, am I right? Today's film belongs to director/writer/producer/actor John Ward (Chapman's Storage: Fake Commercial, Axemas, Frames of Fear 2, and pre-production of Meathook Massacre 4 and post-production of Axmas 2: Blood Slay). His film is clearly part of a segmented five-part film highlighting five separate directors. This is Axemas.

I'm no doctor but you might want that sucking chest wound looked at.

Our opening title cards is followed by a mild xylophone playing as we look at a storage unit being broken into by a bad boy on the naughty list. Our thief (Tommy Sihavong of Axemas and Frames of Fear 2) didn't hear sleigh bells ringing and tingling but hears something metal being drug across the concrete. Naughty or nice, our thief is ready to defend himself and his ill-gotten gains when "Santa" pitches him in the storage unit, closes the door and we hear the thief's screams and that same ripsaw going to work. Yeah that may have even grossed out Rick and Billy of Silent Night, Deadly Night 1 and 2.  The irony of this comment I wrote, is there are two off-camera characters are named Rick and Billy.

A simple fade to black (don't start quoting the song), brings us to a kid on the phone bored out of his skull, calling buddies over to party the night away.  When you think about it, clean up will be a breeze, cans will go to recycling and hopefully they aren't using other people furniture to make out and screw. Oh man, they are totally going to use that furniture, aren't they?

A planned get together will lock the place down at 11 and apparently no major security with exception of cameras on the outside of the building.  Hopefully at least a security guard and a dog?

David (Dillon Wieshuhn of Daywalker: Blade Origins, Axemas, Drug Z and Amygdala Warrior) has the keys to the castle...well the storage place and invites his friends and girlfriend over for some Christmas cheer, in the form of booze and partying.

"Santa" and his magic murder bag, dripping of blood from now we can assume chopped up thief parts are probably making their way to disposal of the body.

Psst, let's go rattle the walls. Hmm? Ya feel me?

The storage center overall looks to be almost two, maybe three blocks in length so our young couples are looking forward to a bit of fun, drink and some of each other later.  Guys, honestly rent a couple of hotel rooms.   Maybe get a cabin for the weekend.  They're pretty reasonable rates if you book months in advance.

As the kids explore the massive maze that is the center, somewhere in this huge complex is a blood spattered Santa (John E. Seymore of Water in the Bay, Tangled 8, Blessid, The Weed Detective, Drug Z and Frames of Fear 2 )creepily singing to himself, enjoying some cookies in his chair when he hears a few giggles from the girls and guys.  Not wanting his festivities to come to an end, Santa decides to look on these boys and girls. And THANK YOU for not revealing Santa's face prematurely!

Seriously I cannot thank John Ward enough to make the proper decision to keep our killer's face concealed. Maybe he enjoyed the original Black Christmas. God knows you can't sit through the remake.

Our couples along with David and Sarah (Ashley Campbell of Atelophobia, Guard Dog, Designated, Unwritten, Atelophobia: Chapter 2 and Alien Domicile ) are Chuck (Nathan Scott of The Weed Detective, Drug Z and Frames of Fear 2) and Liz (Lindsey Cruz of Atelophobia, Rust, Rust 2, The Radiant One, Atelophobia: Chapter 2 and Drug Z) and Lee (Mikey Anthony O' Brien of Drug Z, Frames of Fear 2 and Alice) and Linnea (Kamiko Kawada of Shadows, Not a Care in the World, Into Paradise and Frames of Fear 2)

The party starts winding down and Chuck and Liz go off to find their own locker to get busy.   Don't blame them.  Probably had to see white folk dance.   Trust me, I'm white and it bugs the crap out of me to see that gyrating mess.

One by One, Santa's coming for you all. He's checking his list and scratching off those bad kids.

Can they flee to save themselves? Does one of these units belong to a paranoid NRA gun nut?

Ah mistaken for firewood.  It happens.

Okay on technical lighting choices and the fact I have rented a storage unit before, they cannot actually have the lights off in sections. With that comment out of the way, the less lighting actually makes the film look creepy. With more shadows to work with, sounds being amplified by the doors and walls of corrugated steel, would confuse the hell out of anyone without a proper sense of direction or carrying a compass.

The subtle touches with the music played VST (Virtual Studio Technology. Yeah I am becoming an audiophile.) giving synthesizer and sound effects at the ready for editing is a Indie budgeted director's dream come true. Good mood setting, easy story to bring more into it, decent gore effects and props, I think we got a budding director that simply needs a bit more funding behind him and he'll spatter the walls with some real nasty effects. Ward has suspense building, decent tension build up and proper music stingers.

Cranking out at 25 minutes, the tone was set, characters are in place and giving decent performances. This is part of an anthology set (A collection of short stories) showcasing multiple talents and different directorial styles.

I honestly think with a bit more of a longer script and maybe two or three more cast members, you could make a gore fest but I like the more subtle encounters. This isn't that typical overblown Hollywood Hack'em up with far too many jump scares, one dimensional characters and far over the top gore effects.

Now yes, you can argue well they didn't have the length of time as a standard gallon of gore of at least 75 to 90 minutes of bad CGI penetration shots or CGI blood gags.

Ward could buy that software for editing but I prefer the cut scenes with the aftermath established. It provides a better visual and the death grimaces on your actors will always look nastier.

Had some influence from the first Silent Night, Deadly Night and Halloween 2 to it.  Nothing wrong with that at all.

An old recipe of horror elements, teens doing dumb things and the enraged psycho made this a fun viewing. Personally, I hope to see more of what John Ward and his crew have to offer.

Don't think even the Ice Cream Bunny will work with Santa now.

Coppola Original: Dementia 13

Welcome back to the blog, folks. Hope you enjoyed the Sneak Peek Review on Nemesis 5.

Looks like more than a few did. And by a few I mean over a thousand views there!!! but now it is time for the flick of the day. So a bit of digging as this was Coppola's first legitimate film, he had done a few sexploitation films prior to today's film.

Now this is not to put him in the same category as Jean Rollin or God help him, Jesus Franco but I just thought it was a funny notion that the man that brought us the Godfather did a couple of nudie flicks, The Bellboy and the Playgirls and Tonight for Sure. Yes plenty of T & A black and white so have at it. Today's film is a horror/thriller that could be considered a jump start into crazed axe murderer story lines and a precursor to Halloween and Black Christmas. This is Dementia 13.

Aww... he's holding her head while she pukes.

One night out in the moonlight for a row in the lake, John Haloran (Peter Read of Dementia 13, Freakshow, Johnny Shortwave, Talons of the Eagle and Rin Tin Tin: K9 Cop) is explaining to his captivating wife Louise (Luana Anders of The Pit and the Pendulum, Dementia 13, Easy Rider, Shampoo, The Missouri Breaks and Goin' South) that his mom is a bit kooky.

You see the will to the inheritance is a bit off. If John dies before his mother, Louise isn't seeing dime one. And with that bit of cryptic, the dude drops dead of a heart attack. Tragic irony or poetic justice? You be the judge. Louise quick on her feet, dumps John's body overboard and claims he is on a business trip. She goes so far is to type up a letter as she is off to the country to ingratiate herself to her mother-in-law in the will.

Not sure how long your dead husband can be out of town so at best she's got about a week, two max. No sooner Louise arrives at this castle (yeah, loaded), she witnesses Lady Haloran and son Billy (Bart Patton of Thriller, Tales of Wells Fargo, Checkmate, Zotz!,Petticoat Junction and The Farmer's Daughter) and Richard (William Campbell of Garrison's Gorillas, Star Trek, Bonanza, It Takes a Thief, Bracken's World, Ironside, The Rookies and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) engaging in some sort of ritual.

This isn't a romantic boat ride, John.

So Momma Haloran (Eithne Dunne of Omnibus, Playhouse 90, She Didn't Say No!, Shake Hands with the Devil and The Mutations) is how should we say, a bit different. A little off tilt, perhaps? Ah, the hell with it. She's crackers. She insists on the anniversary of her young daughter, Kathleen's death to visit the very pond she drown in as a child and tries to communicate with her.

Attempting to cash in on Lady Haloran's superstition as well as her fragile mental state, Louise hatches a scheme to con Lady Haloran that Kathleen is attempting to communicate beyond the grave. She sneaks out in the night with an armful of the dead child's toys playing them around the mass estate's pond as if they floated up under spooky circumstances. Louise is a bitch in case you missed that.

As this scheme is looking good, Louise accidentally swims next to Kathleen's somehow preserved body. I mean the kid looks pristine. Not sure if that is meant to be scarier or no one wanted to spring for a fake child sized skeleton.

Panicked, Louise surfaces and makes it to shore, only to be attacked with an ax by an unknown assailant who drags her body away in true Jason Vorhees style. Now that was creepy.

So...you are always that sudden or was that an off night?

Concerned for Lady Haloran's well-being, family doctor Caleb (Patrick Magee of Zulu, Lady Ice, The Last Days of Man on Earth, Luther, Simona, King Lear, Galileo and Barry Lyndon) is convinced that Louise's sudden disappearance is a mystery to be solved. He proceeds to hound the family in this Poirot fashion to almost an crazed manner.

Meanwhile a poacher snuck on the estate for some easy prey, becomes that of which he sought by the hand of the killer, or rather his ax.

Dr. Caleb convinced that one of the brothers is committing these murders even offers hypnosis as a means to see if on a subconscious level if one of them is the killer.

Is the Haloran family all bread baskets? Should someone alert the constables? How bad must John's body rotted in the lake?

So what we have here is a thriller/slasher film pre-dates any techno-colored or colored film from the 70s and 80s. With moody atmosphere, a good pace, this gorgeous estate as our background and a score providing the right tone to give off a Gothic horror. From a technical aspect, this whole film was shot in 9 days and from its tight editing, you would swear at least a month's work was in the can and not under two weeks.

Filmed in 35mm Spherical, sound in mono the angles of some of these shots, especially the night shots were very similar to Coppola's later Dracula film in style and presentation. Its normal runtime for the flick in 75 minutes but also there is an 80 minute version with a prologue.

Produced by the nose for talent and the master of frugal, Roger Corman also has a hand in adding additional scenes to ratchet up the tension. That in mind, Coppola and Corman argued over whether or not the film could be released in its current state and called in exploitation director Jack Hill (The Big Bird Cage, Black Momma White Momma, Coffy and Foxy Brown) to film those additional sequences.

With an estimated budget of $42,000, Coppola writes a screenplay considered by many harsher critics than I as a Psycho rip-off but I feel it has its own style with Gothic horror, brutal murders and keeps the audience guessing what is coming for you next.

Worst Sunday brunch ever.