Welcome one and all to another helping
of Zombie Stew. Day 4 and I am not certain I can truly reference
this as a zombie film when the film insinuates the creatures are
ghouls but hell Romero tried to call his zombies ghouls as well.
What do you get when you pair two mildly capable cops an overweight
psychic and a few coroners? No, you do not make a flesh golem
Voltron capable of seeing the dead and dispensing the law. You get
the comedy/horror dealing with decent practical effects a monstrous
dog beast and Phyllis Diller as you have never seen her before. This
is The Boneyard.
A door? Damn. How do these things work again? |
Our writer/director James Cummins
(The Boneyard, Dark:30 and Harbinger)cut his teeth in
film doing creature design and sculpting for mostly sci-fi and horror
films and followed the call of writing and directing.
With the police stumped after a series
of unprecedented homicides, Detective Callum (Ed Nelson of A
Bucket of Blood, Peyton Place, Police Academy 3: Back in Training,
Who Am I? And Runaway Jury) and doofus Detective Mullin
(James Eustermann of Spaced Invaders, The Boneyard, Cast a
Deadly Spell, Woody Burns...a Life and Words Unspoken) seek
any assistance to figuring out this grusome series of murders even
coaxing a portly, retired psychic Alley Oates (Deborah Rose of
Fugitive Lovers, American Drive-In, Troop Beverly Hills, Ski Patrol
and The Boneyard) to help find this mass murderer. Their
first clue is no exposition reports on the radio about homicidal
loonies escaping an asylum and stealing an ax or machete. Tough
luck fellas, time to do some real legwork.
NBC's Fall Listing: My Three CHUDS. |
With a taped interrogation of mortician
Chen (Robert Yun Ju Ahn of The Boneyard) our dutiful
detective and flailing physic attempting to decipher what the bloody
hell is going on, more deaths are occurring and bodies are be shipped
in to the coroner's office. Enter our wacky medical examiners Miss
Poopinplatz and yes that is her actual character name and Mr.
Shepard.
Poopinplatz (Phyllis Diller of
The Red Skelton Hour, Love, American Style, The Sunshine Boys, Uncle
Croc's Block, The Nutcracker Prince, Blossom, Animaniacs, Robot
Chicken and Everything's Jake) is a crotchety older woman
without her iconic wig and only has love for her darling poodle
Floofsoms and... yeah that is actually about it. Her colleague
Shepard a.k.a. Mr. Roper (Norman Fell of The End, Getting
There, Three's Company, Dan August: The Jealousy Factor, Dan August:
Once Is Never Enough, Dan August: Murder, My Friend, The Ropers and
Beach House) with a pony tail???
Callum arrives with Oates and bumbling
rookie Mullin in time for the craziness ensuing as the bodies
re-animate and start attacking the living. The ghouls in question
are actually possessed bodies by demons known as Kyonshi...really
close to Kashi isn't it? Given how some of those cereals are WAY
TOO fiber based I would rather the demons named Kashi to give me
more incentive to bodily dismember them. So the fiber demons are
tearing ass around the morgue attacking both the staff, cops and psychic (of which she did see that coming) and let's be fair, the
practical effects for the ghouls is actually really good. Will
our dwindling party survive the onslaught of undead kids, men and
women alike? Will this shake them to the core and they will have to
stop over-acting like Jeremy Irons in Dungeons and Dragons? And
what of my spinach puffs in the oven as I write this?
Bit of trivia on the movie now.
Special effects were handled by Jim
Henson alumni Tim Hawkins (The Jim Henson Hour, Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze, The Boneyard and Muppets
from Space) dealing with animatronic creature costumes and
zombie effects.
Shot in a standard 35mm Spherical the
film, lightning and general crew is professional in spite of the
absurdity that is seen on screen. Our film was shot in five weeks
with plenty of time left over to add an additional see of a wedding
scene between Gordon and Dana that should have been the end of the
flick but the scene was never added to the finished product.
Producers Richard F. Brophy
(House, The Boneyard, Speak of the Devil, Dark:30 and
Harbinger) and Phil Smoot (Alien Outlaw, Home of
Angels, Above Suspicion, Night Class, Tara, The Gravedancers and
Warbirds) talked about getting both Alice Cooper for not only
the music but playing a part along with character actor veteran Clu
Gulager for key roles but they declined.
Yeah the rock icon that starred in
Monster Dog and Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare and the fellow
that starred in Return of the Living Dead and all three of his son's
Feast movies turned down The Bone Yard.
Bring your poo bags, FLUFFY GONNA CRAP DOUBLE TONIGHT!! |
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