Hiya gang. Well it's that time again.
You know of what I refer. When the blog goes back to its horror
roots, digs in deep and finds either a necessary or absurd evil. The
findings of course can swing either way but I will say 7 out of 10
times I will not find unpolished gem but more often a fresh turd or
someone looking to put a new spin on an old thing. Yeah I'm looking
at you Squagel. This week I am calling this the Whiskey Tango
Foxtrot Sequels. Apparently Brad Sykes (Camp Blood,
Camp Blood 2 and Within the Woods) has wandered away from his trilogy opus and director Dustin Ferguson (Doll Killer,
Die Sister, Die!, Gloved Murderess and Cheerleader Camp: To the
Death) has picked up the baton to bring us this next
installment of (Yawn)
horror. This is Camp Blood 4.
Chemistry not since Tracy and Hepburn. |
Okay
with a grainy pseudo link back to Within the Woods, we see a smattering of what almost looks like our half-assed reality show
contestants getting gacked left and right but the survivor is never
mentioned, made a cameo or even touched base upon. Personally I am
still pissed that Tricia (Jennifer Ritchkoff of Camp
Blood, Harrington's Notes, Camp Blood 2, Spin City, Spartan and Angel
Wishes: Journey of a Spiritual Healer)
has not made a comeback yet, or gone completely crackers and starts
killing folk in a clown mask or traveling around the country killing
clowns. All good options for this but what the hell do I know?
Sterling Entertainment returns to produce and distribute our movie so
we are in good hands with folks that handle titles like: Iron
Thunder, Studio 666, Things, Tower of Blood, Death Factory and The
Curse of Lizzie Borden II I
already know we are in for a treat. Also I never needed to remember
the production company that brought me Death Factory. EVER AGAIN.
Our movie opens with footage from some even crappier offshoot of the
Camp Blood series
Camp Blood: Blood Slaughter of
which I was told has NOTHING to do with the original three. Again
alternative titles make a play and this flick instead of Within the
Woods is easier to find and confuses folk that only research on IMDB.
Ah! Evil floaty head! |
So our gaggle of jag-offs are off to hit a concert but rather than
pool money and stay at a hotel, they opt to stay in the same woods.
Now by this point, the original three films has established a big
warning to piss off since 1999 but I guess that craziness all died
down. Think of this as the lesser Crystal Lake and maybe the locals
renamed it Forest Green as well. Oh sorry I meant Camp Black Tree
according to the badly stenciled spray painted sign.
So
having no connection to any of the originals I can completely believe
these kids have no idea about the ominous and foreboding urban legend.
Blah blah blah killer in clown mask slabs away, blah blah padding
of pointless walking about, blah blah blah topless scenes and all
shot on a DSLR HD but I guess camera boy doesn't understand how
exposure works well on it. I guess jagging off while filming
topless girls makes it difficult to work that option. I miss
anything? Oh yes female survivor survives given the cliche' name
Raven (Shuylar Craig of Shockumentary, Blood
Claws, Camp Blood 4, Blood Model and The Amityville Legacy)
and manages to deal with "Clown" cuz that's so Raven. Ha
ha ha, kill me.
Apparently no one explained that we actually need a foley artist for
sound effects so the machete sound effects sounds like a squishy
diaper that leaks and on the further note, no one bothered to realize
that you don't STAB with a machete, you would slash with it. If you
would concerned about your lack of stuntmen, get some foam rubber,
make an improvised dummy painted whatever skin tone you need and fill
it of sytrene rubber you have burned enough to make interesting
shapes and fake blood!!! (Blood is Karo Syrup, black and red food
dye and you are good to go) Most of the music is not so much public
domain but filler music from Sony Sound Series of royalty free music.
Let's see...
something good about the flick... oh I like the cover art for the
box. Shuylar Craig actually can pull off acting but this was a
poor example of the horror medium to working in.
What's a cornhusker girl to do but be chased by a psycho. |
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