Young Justice

Howdy. I wanted to write about a cartoon that has been constantly enjoyable and yes I am a forty something watching this. What of it? Not since Justice League has a cartoon been well thought out, written, voice cast and brilliant art. With primary characters hailing from Teen Titans, without the cutesy story-lines and pizza parties, a more serious approach is done still giving a blend of humor and drama. This is Young Justice.

I wonder why I get so many movies.  Oh right, I'm Batman.

With this young team of partners/sidekicks calling the shots on what to do and how to dispense justice, the Justice League feels their young partners are now ready to begin the next level and become closer to the League. Unfortunately, the Leaguers still hold secrets over them and this irks Speedy a.k.a. Red Arrow (Crispin Freeman of Naturo:Shippuden, For Honor, Teen Titans: The Judas Contract, Doomfist Origin Story, Justice League Action) and he splits on Green Arrow.

The rest of the team consisting of Robin/Dick Grayson(Jesse McCartney of Pizza, Jesse McCartney: Get Your Shine On, Kingdom Hearts II, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Horton Hears a Who!, Tinker Bell and The Hardy Boys: The Hidden Theft), Kid Flash/Wally West(Jason Spisak of Everything Must Go, Piranha 3D, Time Lapse,Young Justice and LEGO DC: Batman: Family Matters) and Caldur/Aqualad (Khary Payton of Dracula II: The Ascension, Batman: Arkham Underworld, Mafia III, Young Justice, The Lion Guard, DC Super Hero Girls: Legends of Atlantis and The Walking Dead) go and investigate a weird happening near their school. The project black ops funded cloning process called CADUMUS is less than legal, moral or ethical.

There's something squishy in my boot!

One of their projects is to create a Superman they can completely control for government black ops. Yeah a demigod with a kill switch. Comforting and clearly what tax dollars should be allocated for. Upon finding this Superboy (Nolan North of Uncharted, Uncharted 2, Deadpool, Hulk Vs, Spider-Man, Lego DC Super-Villains, The Lion Guard, Voltron: Legendary Defender and Marvel's Avengers), the team hold their own against villains and stand up for what is right with their mentors. Joining their motley crew is Meg'ann Marz or Miss Martian (Danica McKellar of The Wonder Years, Good Neighbor, The Year That Trembled, Justice League, Sex and the Teenage Mind, Static Shock, X-Men Legends, Inspector Mom and Young Justice) to round out the team.

As their adventures need a bit more stealth and motivation, Batman (Bruce Greenwood of Knots Landing, Passenger 57, Treacherous Beauties, Nowhere Man, Class of the Titans, Star Trek, Batman: Under the Red Hood, Star Trek Into the Darkness and Young Justice) trains the kids in martial arts, espionage, counter-terrorism and subterfuge. So this is a Titans team under Batman tutelage. Their levels just went up. Later new members join the ranks and get to learn how dangerous the really real world is and good and evil isn't so cut and dry. It's a high stakes game of patience, combat and execution of plans.

Not even warmed up, Robin.

Understand, there is more than a few Justice League based story-lines but the primary characters are this Young Justice team. Following them as they grow into their roles and still behave as teens and friends.

For the avid DC Fans, we get plenty of villain appearances, characters we thought the WB and DC forgot about, stakes, actions and consequences. Voice cast alone is worth this.

This is DC Comics at its best. Taking a hiatus due to ratings around Season 2, the gang has come back for Season 3 and is still going strong. Honestly I have not enjoyed DC like this since Justice League. Completely worthy of the hardened DC fans, casual viewers and all ages. You will get a lot from this 25 minute cartoon. Oh and kids, you may have to field questions like the following: "Which one is that one?" "Do all these kids have powers?" "How come they listen to that guy?" and so on.

So why are you down capes and tights?

Captain Marvel

Howdy all. Well time for a new release. Yes I know so many of you wanted an obscure Italy Horror or an Exploitation film from the 1950s but dammit I need some new viewing material from time to time. With this new Marvel "Cough Disney subservient" release, the controversy (that really isn't) we finally have a female protagonist not surrounded by male counterparts in the sense they have to protect or govern her.   As Phase 3 is commencing and it's all about outer space, it is time.  This is Captain Marvel.

C'mon, put 'em up! Put 'em up!

Our story is in a far away time...the dreaded 1990s.  That savage time period.   Cellphones could barely flip, we had actual face-to-face conversations and our music wasn't completely sucky.   Enter a young Kree (Alien species with blue blood that can resurrect humans) recruit Vers (Bria Larson of Free Fire, Room, Kong: Skull Island, The Glass Castle, Unicorn Store, Basmati Blues and Captain Marvel) is having confusing dreams/nightmares. A link to the past? Another life before the Kree? Who can say?

She and her trainer/mentor Yon-Rogg (Jude Law of Gattaca, Final Cut, A.I. Artificial Intelligence, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, Alfie and Repo Men) tells her in true Obi-Wan fashion to be mindful of her feelings, powers and surroundings. To serve the Empire with diligence, dignity and grace.  She's a bit headstrong, cocky and some levels, arrogance. I like that. Reminds me of me. No wait, that's another film. She and her team are on mission to stop Skrulls (race of shapeshifting and transmographing alien combantants) for disrupting the harmony of an outside system under Kree protection.  Vers is captured and probed (mind not anus. You perverts) as the gaps in her memory show her a parallel life on an insignificant blue and green planet involving primitive vehicles like go-karts, 64 and a half Mustangs, Hornet fighter jets and hey... ain't that Earth? How kooky.

The domesticated Skrull attends to light housekeeping and dusting.

As Vers is done with hanging upside down, she proceeds to open a big gulp worth of whoop ass on the Skrulls, escapes the vessel in a pod and crash land in a refuge of movie known as Blockbuster Video.  Hope I didn't lose the Milennials again. Prior to Red Box, there was a store that provided you VHS and DVDs, snacks and soda, along with human interaction on selecting films of current or previous eras. Thanks to progress...we have none of those. Hurrah.

With being an extraterrestrial, she is flanked by a couple of SHIELD agents, Fury (Samuel L Jackson of Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Avengers, Black Snake Moan, The Incredibles and Afro Samurai) without his mother f bombs (so sad) and Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg of Spartan, The West Wing, When a Stranger Calls, The Air I Breathe, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., The Avengers, Ultimate Spider-Man and Captain Marvel). Assigned by their higher ups to keep tabs on Vers, understand and plan for the Skrulls and see if she is on our side.

Jackson senses MF Bombs but is forbidden to utter them.

With Vers' team lead by Yon-Rogg, I can't help but recognize a few later villainous fellows such as Korath (Djmon Housou of Stargate, ER, The Four Feathers, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, Constantine, The Island, Blood Diamond and Guardians of the Galaxy) and Ronan the Accuser (Lee Pace of Pushing Daisies, A Single Man, When in Rome, The Resident, 30 Beats, Lincoln, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and Guardians of the Galaxy) so yeah a tad flashback like. Not unlike this whole film granted.

Piecing together her life on Earth and in the Kree homeworld, Hala Vers is having conflicting memories about a FTL drive (Faster than Light) and who it would benefit.

Can Vers agree to work with SHIELD? Can the Skrulls be defeated? Can the Kree be trusted?

So yeah Marvel, nice of you to get off your ass and finally have a predominant female protagonist film. Not as though Marvel archives are rife with them and...oh wait, THERE ARE TONS of them!! Let's address the chauvinistic pricks that whined about this movie. Fellas, what's the damn problem? She came, she saw and she kicked ass.   Had Spidey levels of quips, energy channeling and re-directional blasts, flight, strength. She's Captain Marvel. So what's the friggin' problem? Did you not "See Yourselves?" Boo frickin' hoo. How many muscle bound male hero flicks out there? You can find more than a few.

This is Black Panther whiny white guy bitching all over again. Frankly, I wanted to see Valkyrie, She-Hulk, Spider-Woman, Elsa Bloodstone and Misty Knight 20 YEARS AGO, but I cannot bitch and complain about that all the time. I would be tedious and annoying. Much like the pricks that complained about this film. Solid storyline, a few alterations to meet the current timeline, great cameos and nods to the current nifty gags and tropes, this is a decent flick.

Oh and guys that ask me this FAR TOO OFTEN, no there is no titty in the movie. 

Miles away, Hollywood Video had Hercules drunk again.

Messiah of Evil

How goes it? Well after that festering stink nugget of a film Monday, I need a pick me up. Alas no ether in site so I will have to just watch today's movie and hope for the best. Another horror film but at least the synopsis offers promise. A young woman searches for her missing artist father in a California sea based town, but the whole area is watched by a strange cult of the undead. This is Messiah of Evil.

Worse orgy...ever.

Worry not, gentle readers. This is yet another alternative titled film. Titles like: Messiah of the Evil Dead, Deep Swamp, Messiah of Evil: The Second Coming, The Second Coming, Revenge of the Screaming Dead, Return of the Living Dead, Dead People, Night of the Damned and Blood Busters. What a collective of festive titles.

We see a young man with that seventies hair, the Epstein from Welcome Back Kotter and he's wearing corduroy. Apparently running for quite a while or he is a chain smoker and it's only been 5 blocks. A young girl lets him into her pool patio where he takes it easy for a moment and then throat slashed open with a straight razor with the first minute and 22 seconds. Boom title card! No screwing around here.

We have some mildly depressing music. Think Morrisey. As a young woman down a long hallway declares that madness is all around her and they can't even hear her scream. The monologue feels as though the main protagonist is recapping those events prior and we are playing catch up.

Gentle and demure Arletty (Marianna Hill of Mannix, The Name of the Game, The Baby, High Plains Drifter, Kung Fu, The Magician, The Godfather: Part II and S.W.A.T.) is on a quest to find her wayward artist father in the small beach town of Point Dume, California. She arrives at his beachfront house to find it abandoned. Bereft of life in the house, she finds a diary specifically addressed to her. As she reads through it, her father complains about a darkness consuming the town little by little, these ominous nightmares he has been having and tell her to never look for him. I was personally waiting for a to do list, grocery list and possibly girls he slept with and his ratings on each of them.

So pants optional at this gas station? Okaaay.

She rolls into town, low on gas and a full service station! What a myth. Her attendant seems to busting caps into howling creatures' collective asses. No wolves were hurt in the making of this film. The poor foley guy though. Ouch. Dude comes right over, cleans the windows and gases her up and there is this huge awkward pause. Because honestly do you want to ask what he was shooting at, not knowing if he is unhinged?

The owner of the art gallery was absolutely no help whatsoever as he recounts vaguely meeting Arletty's father and said that none of his work would sell as all his paintings had gatherings of peopele in that were black, white and grey. The men were all in black suits, white shirts and black ties. So either the Mormons moved heavily in Cali, the Men in Black stationed there or this was some serious brown acid he dropped.

Arletty bumps into smooth aristocrat Thom (Michael Greer of The Gay Deceivers, Diamond Stud, The Curious Female, Fortune and Men's Eyes, The Streets of San Francisco, Summer School Teachers and Sunshine) and his two bits of posh crumpets Toni (Joy Bang of Maidstone, The Young Lawyers, Hawaii Five-O, Pretty Maids All in a Row, Night of the Cobra Woman, Room 222, and Cisco Pike) and Laura (Anitra Ford of The Big Bird Cage, Invasion of the Bee Girls, The Longest Yard, Messiah of Evil, Starsky & Hutch, Wonder Woman, Baretta and The Streets of San Francisco).

Group hickeys!!!

They are gadding about and having fun but Thom has to interview the town kook for an article on the town of Point Dume, Charlie (my favorite character actor, Elisha Cook Jr. Of The Maltese Falcon, A Gentleman at Heart, Dark Waters, The Big Sleep, Shane, House on Haunted Hill, Peter Gunn, Rosemary's Baby, Blacula, The Night Stalker and Salem's Lot). Charlie speaks about the 100^th anniversary of the dark stranger that came to town. He also talk about the blood moon. The night of the blood moon appears and the evil will consume the town. It's at this point, I have already packed my bags and got the hell out of there. Elisha also provides more bug eyes than he did even in House on Haunted Hill. Looks like a deranged leprechaun hoarding his Lucky Charms from those pesky kids.

Well about this time to start thinning out the cast, am I right? Sorry barely line having eye candy, yer toast.

Thom and girls get bounced out of the hotel like a bad check and they all crash at Arletty's dad's pad.

Yeah that was some seventies lingo but so is the flick.

Arletty takes her time through dad's journal and that is a trope pet peeve of mine. Read the whole thing through one sitting dammit. Think of the lives you could spare. And don't read any book of unspeakable evil out loud. Okay done ranting but the journal wasn't even that long.

Can the evil be thwarted? With Arletty, Thom and the girls survive the night?

Let's see... the pace was kind of on the move from the get go. They didn't dally but still had plenty of time to build up suspense. The kills are reasonably nasty and the plot was unusual and clever linking to a horror of the past. Honestly I think if you found a better copy than what I got, you would enjoy it. Old school story telling with a bit of freedom from the stereotypical standings of the genre. This sort of mob scene is pre Romero's The Crazies or Dawn of the Dead. No I am not giving away any more spoilers than necessary because it would ruin the film experience. Personally, I liked it. Good and creepy. The music scores were a tad odd. Just what I presume an acid trip would sound like in your head. Weird spoken word tunes and some ORGAN MUSIC!!

Aside from that, it was fun. For those that felt it wasn't their cup of tea, have fun riffing it at a drinking party.

Joni Mitchell looks HiIiIiIIiIIiigh!!!!

The Revenge of Doctor X

Hey there gang! So welcoming this July in our midst, we can take in a mad scientist movie. Yeah it's been a while and clearly we were due. Howzabout a co-op of American and Japanese cast and production companies? I mean that never ends in tears, right? Okay I will level with you, I have gone a bit crackers with Public Domain and there has to be something entertaining. This is The Revenge of Doctor X.

Those tacos aren't sitting well, Walt. You may want to crack a window.

Worry not my readers, it has alternative titles. Because it wouldn't be this blog without those. Also known as: The Double Garden, Venus Flytrap, Body of the Prey, The Revenge of Dr. X and The Devil Garden. Produced by Toei Company (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Ghost in the Shell, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Scanners and The Way of the Dragon) and re-redistributed by New Horizons Home Video and my old nemesis, Mill Creek Entertainment; I just know I am getting something worthwhile.

Brought to me less than glorious mono, the title screen reminds me of General Hospital in the sixties and the organ music for the intro is abysmal.  Already we are off to a good start.  Scientist Dr. Bragan (James Craig of The Devil and Daniel Webster, The Omaha Trail, Seven Miles from Alcatraz, Dangerous Partners, Northwest Stampede, Code Two and Studio 57) smokes like a chimney and must launch a rocket out of Cape Canaveral. The line was brilliant. "How in the hell can anyone be so utterly stupid as to build a rocket base on the coast of Florida?!" With weather patterns being what they are, Dr. Bragan seems a trifle irked. It was then I looked at IMDB and found that the over the top dialogue is supplied by none other than Ed Wood (Glen or Glenda, Jail Bait, The Violent Years, Outlaw Queen, The Bride and the Beast, Plan 9 from Outer Space and Night of the Ghouls) so I prepare myself for the barb wire enema awaiting me.

C'mon Doc, let's go root around in our own filth.

With the tropical storm evading the launch site, all systems are go! Cue the stock footage! A few days in and there could be a possible error in their calculations. "Could be? Could be...Doctor Stanley?" Dr. Paul Nakamura (James Yagi of The Ugly American, The Twillight Zone, The Outer Limits, King Kong vs Godzilla and Walk Don't Run) being Dr. Bragan's assistant tells him maybe his skull crushing headaches will pass if he isn't around so much stress and vacations in Japan. Land of Kaijui, cyborgs, mecha and Kurosawa films. Might work.

Bragan goes on for a 3 minute speech how the War made it impossible for him to visit Japan and his botany major never fulfilled. So how does one go from the study of plants to rockets? Hell if I know. Even with his rambling of the weight of mathematics with the bombs and eventual movement to the Space Race I was still baffled. I am re-titling this the Adventures of Doctor Snooze. If painter Bob Ross and pompous mansplainer John Agar had their genes spliced, this man would be the outcome. 7 minutes in and I want a nap.  Might also be the constant General Hospital soundtrack of ORGAN MUSIC.  More organ music in this flick than Carnival of Souls and that is saying something. Mostly that both films have their highs and lows.   Mostly.

Bragan's swingin' pad comes with a gorgeous assistant Norkio (Atsuko Rome of Akuma no niwa and Venus Flytrap). Too late for me to get this gig?   I can prattle on about rockets and plants too.   Meh. This entire film is shot in Japan and the kooky incidental music for sitcom is played for him running out of gas.   Gas station attendant (Al Ricketts of Akuma no niwa and Venus Flytrap) has taken to snake handling in his off hours. Yup it's that kind of movie where it is padded more than a psych ward.  Who asked for this film and why does it feel like Catholic punishment?   Upside, I can send a copy to Gitmo for interrogation methods.  Gimme what I want or you're watching Venus Flytrap again!   Gas station attendant (no name given in the whole time on screen) is a one man crack-up.  By that, he seems to only make himself laugh. He is also ADR as all his dialogue has clearly been re-added post production. GO TO JAPAN NOW!!!!

Lured by the flora and fauna, Bragan scoops up some of each to take with him to Japan. I'm sure Customs will love that and the guy with the rubber glove will be a firm but gentle lover as well.

Shall we get the goofs out of the way? I heard the howl of a coyote. In Japan. Where they would not be native to. Also customs would not allow live plants, fruits or foreign soil brought into their country by a commercial passenger.

Finally, some eye candy.

Okay got all that snark out of the way.  Let's make a quick note of camera work. Blocking is terrible, focus keeps popping in and out and there really isn't anything creatively done with the camera. No wide angles, roof shots or crane work that might have pepped this film up a bit. Also I am not certain if Ed Wood understood the medical definition of nervous breakdown as the Doctor seems to have them every five minutes. They seem to come on like Cluster migraines or micro seizures. Longed for some Tommy Wiseau reading like: "You're TEARING ME APART, Lisa!!"

Naturally our mad scientist some assistants for his plant endeavors, so alongside Noriko is a dwarf who I don't even have the actor's name or even the character's name. Bravo movie. Seriously, not even the credits had this sad cat's name.

Also I am convinced either God or Mother Nature is trying to kill Bragan as boulders, trees and other such debris kept hurtling its way at him which didn't seem to faze or even bother him. Giant ass rock almost crushes the guy and he shrugs it off like a minor inconvenience. The continuous organ music is Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.  How did I find out?   I looked it up.  Figured I should see to what classical music was being butchered along with my sanity. The main problem of this film is that it dithers getting to the experiments. When he isn't losing his shit, screaming at Noriko or having yet another sightseeing trip, he might actually get around to doing some science.   Let's us not forget he's staying near AN ACTIVE VOLCANO!!!!  YUP!   Very relaxing this time of year.  So soothing is lava flow in your living room.  WHAT THE HELL??!!!

Cher is prepped to go under the knife just one more time.

SCIENCE WAITS FOR NO MAN!!! Unless you are in this flick. So imagine crossing Frankenstein with a touch of The Day of the Triffids. That sounds a bit exciting, right?

58 minutes! That is how long before we get to the science! Yeah most creature features by this time, the monster has escaped, racked up a double digit body count, the local law enforcement has taken the scientist downtown. Things would be happening! He tampered in God's domain tropes would be flying about. Not this opus. Oh God no. The kooky incidental music is driving me up the wall at this point. Just out of place and I guess decent dissolves and a montage would be too much to ask of this flick.

An hour and 8 minutes in and finally our creature appears. With Venus fly trap hands, an eerie howl and tentacles, I immediately feared for Noriko. It is getting a bit Hentai there.

This hour and 33 minute movie drags on like a snail on a salt bed. I am certain my beard grew, ass fell asleep and brain cells committed suicide. Don't worry fellas, the topless female pearl divers confirm your tiresome question. For those not in on the joke, aye there be titty.

I was informed that Rifftrax made fun of this movie, which would have suited me fine. Riffing by your lonesome gets dull.

Hmm that's a botched nose job.