Conquest

What's this? A Sword and Sorcery movie made by that "Horror mogul" Lucio Fulci? But all he does is Horror...and some child movies, Westerns and it's almost like no one researches this director worth a damn. Predominately Fulci is known for his Gates of Hell Trilogy (City of the Living Dead, The Beyond and The House By the Cemetery) and folks seem to forget how versatile Italian directors had to be from the 70s to 80s. But really a guy with a magical bow that can rid the world of its evil? That man has made enemies he doesn't even know exists. This is Conquest a.k.a. Mace the Outcast.

Femme Arrow.

Let's address the biggest issue of this movie. FOG!   Yeah throughout this whole movie is a fog-like effect around the screen, whether it is a veil over the camera or a ton of foggers, it dominates the movie. Yes it hurt my photophobic eyes something fierce.

A young warrior in training, Ilias (Andrea Occhipinti of Augh! Augh!, Priest of Love, The New York Ripper, A Blade in the Dark, The Sun Also Rises, Miranda, The Family, Control, The Jeweller's Shop, Running Away, Love of Man and Queens) is on a quest to deal with evil and then it dawns on me that I recognize him from The New York Ripper and started laughing. Better known to being sensitive and complex characters rather than heroic figures. He has been charged with a quest to end the corruption of Ocron. The god Chronos bequeath Ilias a magical bow which is his ascend to manhood??  Okay.

All of the sudden, it's Cave Dwellers now.

Our villainess of this piece, Ocron (Sabrina Siani of White Cannibal Queen, Cannibal Terror, College Girl on Vacation, Blue Island, Daughter of the Jungle, Gunan, King of the Barbarians, Ator,the Fighting Eagle, 2020 Texas Gladiators and The Throne of Fire)and yes she is almost completely nude through the entire film.  A sorceress that charmed her legions of darkness...by sleeping with them.  .Spider-Men, Dog-Men, zombies and various other animal men.  Yeah she's filled with darkness...and animal men.  She claims to the people that she is responsible to rising and setting of the sun and they believe her. That she is in league with the sun goddess and hold her audience. Methinks the village isn't particularly bright. I mean they sent one guy out to deal with this so yeah I am baffled.

Whatchu mean I gotta star in Werewolf?

Our protagonist is a mere man that only skill set really is uncanny accuracy with his bow. He needs help. Enter Mace (Jorge Rivero of Rio Lobo, The Two Brothers, Guns and Guts, The Bullfighters, The Last Hard Men, Erotica, Priest of Love, Killing Machice and Counterforce) a muscle bound ranger that talks to the animals. Think less Dar of The Beastmaster and more Kronk of The Emperor's New Groove. Mace's wig is pretty awful. Looks like they grabbed a beaver pelt and plunked it on his head. Maybe got around to scooping organs and bones out of it, maybe.

Given the time this was released we can have our outrage of Conan the Barbarian rip-off; or we could also point out such films like Iron Master, The Beastmaster and Ator, the Fighting Eagle and realize these Sword and Sorcery stories pretty commonplace in the 1980s and prone to a fair amount of nudity and violence. That being said a lot of creativity in some of these Sci-Fi Fantasy jiggle fests IF they could ratchet in how much T&A they drop into film to film. Not gonna lie ladies, there's pillaging in this film. No I was blissfully unaware of that UNTIL I laid eyes on it. Yeah I'm not thrilled.

Loved Mace has stone nunchuks but what was disturbing is Mace wore the mark of Eibon from The Beyond on his forehead so I am wondering if they simply wanted to link the two movies or was this a story of Eibon before The Beyond establishing the ancient mythos being fact. Mace and Ilias' quest seems primarily based around fighting the werewolf men, shooting pervy old men and porking their fill of cave women. Don't worry, our heroes do get their asses handed to them several times, have the manly embraces and do not dally from their goal.

For some reason we need fricking zombies. Yeah that seems to be a staple for Fulci. I was waiting for zombies in his western flicks too. Hmm actually the Zombi of the Old West actually sounds awesome. Nudity and gore gags aside, something about this film compels you to keep watching it to the end.

Okay so this wasn't Shakespeare. Neither was Conan the Barbarian, The Beastmaster or Ator, the Fighting Eagle. This is a popcorn movie with sci-fi fantasy about two mortal men facing ridiculous odds for a bunch of unseen or unnamed peasants. They suffer the slings and arrows of mass pummeling in order to dive into the struggle of the light and the darkness.

Yes fellas reading this, this is chock full of titty. You can relax now. I have plenty of spoilers that utterly baffled me on this movie but you will have to read someone else's blog because I don't do spoilers as a rule.

Dessstro!!!