Red Dwarf Favorites: Me2

Hello and welcome to the Jupiter mining vessel Red Dwarf.  Three million years into deep space, this hydrogen gas powered mammoth is over 6 miles long and 3 miles deep containing the last human being in existence, a holographic projection of the former crew and a humanoid that evolved from the domestic house cat.  Powering and running this ship at full tilt is the A.I. known as Holly, who may be senile and gone a bit peculiar.  This episode starts in continuity from Confidence & Paranoia where Arnold Rimmer has an exact duplicate of himself created to torment Lister further and allow Rimmer the drive and ambition to climb up the ranks and earn his command he so desperately craves.  This is Me2.

Beats doing the latrines!

Rimmer: Everything you ever did, you did to pull me back and spoil me.
Lister: Like what?
Rimmer: Like using my Mother's photography as an ashtray.





Lister's (Craig Charles of Red Dwarf, Cyberspace, Captain Butler, Doctors and Coronation Street) dead roommate is moving out of their sleeping quarters and moving in with an exact copy of himself who is equally petulant, whiny, snidely and all around smeghead.  A mid-level technician with a Napoleon complex.  Arnold Rimmer (Chris Barrie of Black Adder the Third, Spitting Image, The Legends of Treasure Island, The Brittas Empire, Get Fit with Brittas, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life) is delighted at this turn of events and cannot wait to improve his rank and station in life now that he is away from the negativity that is Lister.  Lister comes across a tape Holly made for Rimmer as a tribute to his death.   Frankly to me, it sounds like a snuff film but hey to each their own I say.

Beside himself with joy.

Meanwhile the Cat (Danny John-Jules of Labyrinth, In Dreams, Maid Marian and Her Merry Men, The Tomorrow People, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Blade II and Death in Paradise) has once again put on his finest and outlandish wardrobe, greased his skates and is making his moves...  for a mate or three.  Yes he is skating the hallways with a megaphone announcing to all females to form a que and wait their turn.   As the days progress the Rimmers start squabbling, pointing out their flaws to great length and blame one another for the failure to be in command.
In spite of living on a vessel that is the size of a small city the Rimmers constant bickering has driven Lister, the Cat and even Holly batty and it is time for one of them to go.  But who will it be?  The original that had the bright idea of creating a clone of himself or the clone that claims validation in existence as well?

A few comments to make on this episode.  The death sequence for Rimmer as he mutters his final words, Gazpacho soup is of course a homage to Citizen Kane's Rosebud but how they bring the story out of Rimmer is to die for.  Chris Barrie's facial expressions in this scene are priceless as he portrays this haunted and distraught man when the dialogue is making you tear up from laughter.

Smoking in theaters...  IN SPACE!!!!

Even Number Star Trek Week: Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan

Hey there readers and welcome to Even Number Star Trek Movie Week.  The title kinda gives the idea away but for those of you doing whippets I will explain.  The concept behind this week is most Trekkies feel the odd number films were too long, dull or baffling on how it even got made.  One thing the trekkers agree on is that the even number movies were enjoyable and memorable.  So with that in mind I take you back to the far away time of 1982 continuation of an episode 24 in first season of the Original Series known as Space Seed.   So grab your road warrior apparel, juice up on those roids and dare to be superior.  This is Star Trek II: Wrath of KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!

 

Still tending to that Pon Far issue, Captain Spock?

Kirk: Khan, you spoiler. You’re going to have to do your own dirty work now! Do you hear me?! Do you?

Stardate: 15 years after the success of Space Seed, we catch up with the crew of the Enterprise after the mishaps of the Motion Picture, the loss of its commanding officer Captain Decker (Stephen Collins of All the President’s Men, 7^th Heaven and Blood Diamond) and the newly promoted Captain Spock (Leonard Nimoy of Gunsmoke, Star Trek, Mission: Impossible, Atlantis: The Lost Empire and Star Trek Into The Darkness) with an inexperienced crew and senior staff of the original series.   Admiral Kirk (William Shatner of Dr. Kildare, Incubus, Impulse, Barbary Coast and 3^rd Rock From the Sun) is doing a routine inspection of the Enterprise after its repair and refit from the V’ger incident to see the performance and that they are ready for the field. 

Hailing COOOOOOOMMMMSS open, Captain. Oh my.

Light years away a group of scientists led by Dr. Carol Marcus (Bibi Besch of The Day After, Steel Magnolias and Tremors) are developing a project called Genesis to bring life to dead planets.  As the U.S.S. Reliant is done with their progress update and recon they find a distress beacon on the outer system and go and investigate.  

Oh get up! I think one of you is sitting on Tattoo!

Captain Terrel (Paul Winfield of Damnation Alley, The Terminator, Presumed Innocent and Mar Attacks) and First Officer Chekov (Walter Koeing of Star Trek, Moontrap, Babylon 5 and War of Heaven) go to investigate only to encounter the former crew of genetically engineered humans of the Botany Bay led by Khan Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban of Battleground, Mystery Street, Fantasy Island, The Colbys and Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams) who holds Kirk responsible for the planet they were marooned on this wasteland of a planet being ruined by their neighboring one exploding.

 Khan and his crew seize the Reliant and could have left for planets unexplored and ripe for conquer but Khan wants both the Genesis project as a weapon and Kirk’s head on a pike.  He’s old school like that.

The crew of the Enterprise must deal with a madman they so long ago forgot and must put an end to his diabolical schemes for the sake of all creation.  The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one after all.

So none of you used the crews' showers?? 

BBC Week: Space: 1999

Hello all and greetings back to the BBC Week Day 4.  Well we have experienced Comedy, Mystery and even the unusual hybrid of Sci-Fi Comedy.  What say we tackle some science fiction that does NOT revolve around a little blue police box?  Shocked to find there is more than one British Science Fiction out there?  Well get your bloody heads out of the sand and be observant.  I mean really.   How about some alumni of the Mission: Impossible TV series heading up a space station and no there is no Tom Cruise in this.   So don your space suits, prime your laser pistols and prepare to do the Star Trek bridge shimmy.  This is Space: 1999.

HellOOoOoOOOo Nurse!!!!

John Koenig: It is to live as your own man than as a spoiler in someone else’s dream.

250,000 miles away from the Earth, the 311 inhabitants of Moonbase Alpha commune, work and prosper as Earth Space Research Center on the Moon until…a plot device is unleashed.  For decades humanity got the brilliant idea to store their nuclear waste on the crevices of the Moon’s far side.  Guessing Lake Armstrong is filled to the brim and Pink Floyd is most vexed.  A surge of electromagnetic waves hit the waste with such magnitude that the whole Moon experiences an explosion of a massive thermonuclear proportion for the Moon from the Earth’s gravitational orbit like a giant booster rocket.   Hurled at this enormous speed our citizens of Moonbase Alpha on stuck on a runaway rocket with no return in sight, they must colonize a new home and explore strange new civilizations and other societies that are positively dystopian. 

Chronometer...OF THE FUTURE!!!!

From the combined efforts of Gerry and Sylvia Anderson (Supercar, Fireball XL5, Stingray, Thunderbirds and Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons) comes a series without involving marionette puppets but still scale models and forced perspective.   Starring Martin Landau (North by Northwest, Mission: Impossible, Destination Moonbase-Alpha, Meteor, Trial by Terror, The Evidence and Entourage), Barbara Bain (Perry Mason, Mission: Impossible, Destination Moonbase-Alpha, Murder, She Wrote, Bel Air, American Gun and Political Disasters), Nick Tate (Division 4, Homicide, Spyforce, The Day After Tomorrow, Destination Moonbase-Alpha, Dolphin Cove, Open House and East of Everything) and Catherine Schell (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, Moon Zero Two, The Return of the Pink Panther and The March).

I have but a few words on this series.   The show was froth with guest stars that were other humans or beings of other worlds throughout the episodes to the likes of Brian Blessed (The Black Adder, The Last Days of Pompeii, Flash Gordon and Doctor Who), Isla Blair (Battle of Britain, An Englishman’s Castle, Doctor Who and The Final Cut), Bernard Cribbins (Jackanory, The Railway Children, The Wombles and Doctor Who), Sarah Douglas (Thundercloud, Superman, Superman II, Falcon Crest, Return of the Living Dead III and Strippers vs Werewolves) and Peter Cushing (The Curse of Frankenstein, Horror of Dracula, Doctor Who and The Daleks, Land of the Minotaur, Star Wars, Shock Waves and Mystery on Monster Island) the popularity of this show has amassed generations of science fiction fans and to this day is deemed while a hokey intro; a creditable Sci-Fi series and beloved by many.

Slouching is bad for command and the posture.

Vampire Week: Vampirella

Well folks I welcome you to Day 5 of the Vampire week and boy oh boy did I find one that sucked…blood, ass and exorbitant amount of feces but I am not bitter.  Hailing from the Harris Comics creator Forrest J Ackerman (Vampirella, Panthra , Forrest J. Ackerman’s Guide to Science Fiction and Worlds of Tomorrow) A planet of ancient species of strong, empowered beings gather in harmony and prosperity…until a villainous tyrant Vlad seeks to disrupt such peace and tranquility and kill…Angus Scrimm?   So gather your wet naps, keep a puke bucket on standby and be amazed at the cheesy effects.  This is Vampirella.

The death of a good comic book!

In any reality I would call you spoiler!

Squeaking by at 86 minutes is the film adaptation of comic book supernatural heroine Vampirella.  The High Council of Drakulon finds Vlad (Roger Daltrey of Tommy, The Kids Are Alright, Highlander, Rude Awakening and Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula) in content of the rules and just before he is exiled to the Phantom Zone…er I mean executed, his disciples break in the chambers, blast the council and they high tail it for an awaiting star vessel. 

Vampirella fan club, how may I direct your call?

2 minutes prior Ella/Vampirella (Talisa Soto of License to Kill, Don Juan DeMarco, Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever) speaks sweetly to High Elder Stepfather (Angus Scrimm of Phantasm, Subspecies, Phantasm II, Alias and I Sell the Dead) and well you can see how well that turned out.  Ella seeks to chase down her stepfather’s killers and make them see bloody vengeance.   So we blue screen to scale model ships that look less realistic than Super Car or Stingray and Junior Birdman the hell to Earth.   And that was all done 3000 years ago.   Yes Vlad and his gaggle of vampiric misfits have been on Earth for centuries and directly responsible for vampirism.  SPACE HERPES!!!!

For your crimes against Drakulon you must play more pinball.

Hiding in plain sight in Las Vegas in a lounge act Vlad is pursued by PURGE, the highly skilled, well trained of extras that cannot understand muzzle discipline, tactical engagement or how to subdue a suspect.  They look like they are armed with Airsoft rifles, their “Sun Gun” is clearly a mariner spot light with sound and light effects and they have mastered the martial art of Pushy Shovey.  A descendant of Van Helsing, Adam (Richard Joseph Paul of Quick Change, Oblivion, Knight Rider 2010, Oblivion 2: Backlash, Law & Order: Criminal Intent) leads this bands of fearless slayers of the undead…somehow.

This is the part where I point out the highs and lows of the film and certain details of it.  Schlockmeister director of Creature Feature T &A flicks Jim Wynorski has raped yet another comic book character franchise.  His first being with The Return of the Swamp Thing and boy that was some hurt.  The starship sequences are lifted from Wynorski’s remake of Not of This Earth but sadly none of the shots of Traci Lords changing tops.  

Every geek fanboy's wet dream!

The pace of the film is slower than Dan Quayle reading a quantum physics book, the plot is lacks punch or substance, and there is some obligatory nudity but not enough to be suiting in a Wynorski film.  See Dinosaur Island as an example, lastly the kung faux fight scenes reminded me of a dull junior high school play.    

Thus ends Vampire Week.  Have a good one folks.  Feel free to comment on the blog and the Facebook page.