Shark Week: Swamp Shark

Welcome back readers to even more Shark Week so buckle up, this is bound to get bumpy.  SyFy Channel seems to be churning out more and more creature features but they seem to have a disturbing love for shark based movies and since the populous is not arguing against that we have yet another feature to review.  So gas up your swamp boats, bring more ammo than the National Guard and get some!  This is Swamp Shark.

 

TOKEN! NOoOoOOOOOO!!!

You telling me we got a spoiler deep in the Bayou?

The swamplands of the Atchafalaya Basin are open for the summer and all the teeny boppers roaming about set for the big Gator Fest weekend.  Unbeknownst the locals and party goers, an entrepreneur has made purchase of a very large sea creature for his collection.  Millionaires are all crazy like.   A fiasco occurs during the delivery, killing the drivers and the creature escapes in the swampy river.

Parents, this is most of the college money right there.

At the Bouchard’s Gator Shed restaurant a local drunk is hauled out by Jason Bouchard (Jeff Chase of Dexter, Burn Notice, Chuck, Star Trek, The Spy Next Door and The Mechanic.  Little sister Krystal (Sophia Sinise of CSI: NY, Fear Not and The Heart of Christmas) longs to graduate and leave this Godforsaken town. Our drunk is found mangled to bits and bits later and the town sheriff (Robert Davi of Die Hard, The Profiler, License to Kill, Maniac Cop 2, Maniac Cop 3 and Stargate: Atlantis) attributes the death to a pack of gators kept at Bouchard’s and deems the whole kit and caboodle is to be locked up and the gators need to be whacked. 

Rachel Bouchard (Kristy Swanson of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Chase, Big Daddy, Dude, Where’s My Car, Soul Assassin and Silence) claims to have seen a creature in the waters that had a fin on its back and of course the sheriff scoffs at this.   She, her brother, flirty boyfriend Tyler (Richard Tanne of 2001 Maniacs, Knifepoint and The Nine Lives of Chloe King) and Tommy (D.B. Sweeney of The Cutting Edge, Fire in the Sky, Strange Luck and Dinosaur) attempt a search and destroy against the shark but failed in the attempt and Tyler peels the boat away from said creature.  Further down the river is a little party boat rented by those darn kids with their fornication and boozing it up and a couple get eaten by something that cannot be mistaken for anything but a shark.

Sheriff, Charlie Sheen is in the gator pit...Again!

I just have a few points about the film.  The action scenes are pretty well done with a fabricated prop shark and the underwater 35 mm Digital Panaflex really captured scenes well.  Our creature is NOT CGI for a change, giving it far more creditability.   The script could have used a bit of tweaking in the standing of the breed of the shark and where it originated by that isn’t touched base on. 

Our actors do a surprisingly good job with a creature feature film of this absurd nature.   All in all this was actually a fun flick.  Very little digital enhancement  done to this film other than to the print so for a goofy time, a few beers and a crowd for bad movie night, load this one up in your DVD or Blu-Ray.

Burt Reynolds Week: Gator

Welcome back readers for Burt Reynolds Week continuation.  I thought we would tackle a sequel and you know how I have issues with sequels but this might very well be enjoyable.  So grab a drink, take off your shoes and sit a spell.   This is Gator.

Uh, Black Russian please.

“Why do they call you Spoiler?” “Cause I TELL THEM too.”

When we last left McKlusky, he had pulled the rug out from under Sheriff J.C. and got out of the hoosegow and went back to his white lightning days.   Running liquor is risky as always but the cash is too good to pass up.  The governor (Mike Douglas of the Mike Douglas Show, The Carol Burnett Show and The Last Valley) is tired of hearing about the lack of stopping crime in his fair county when his PR boys in junction with a New York cop off to serve up the man that has been wrecking the county with prostitution, protection and moonshine. 

Domesticated swamp bliss.

After a lengthy speed boat chase through the swamps of which was about 8 minutes long, the cops just nab Pappy McKulsky and Gator’s little girl for leverage.  Low and behold the Feds pinch Gator (Burt Reynolds of Gunsmoke, Navajo Joe, Hawk, Fade-In, Impasse, Fuzz, Hustle and Shamus) and give him a deal overlook the shine and NOT take his 9 year old daughter to foster care if he is willing to rat out an old schoolmate Bama McCall (Jerry Reed of Smokey and the Bandit, Hot Stuff, Good Ol’ Boys, Concrete Cowboys, The Survivors, What Comes Around and The Waterboy). 

The undercover NYC cop Irving Greenfield (Jack Weston of The Thomas Crown Affair, Wait Until Dark, All in a Night’s Work, My Sister Eileen, The Honeymoon Machine, The Hathaways and It’s Only Money) wants to work the sting with Gator but he points out to Greenfield he will stick out like a bagel in a bowl of grits.   

Ready for my close up, Mr. Reynolds.

There is a far amount of racism throughout the movie and none too subtle but it is mostly delivered as snotty dialogue and sarcasm which makes it slightly entertaining.   Gator of course is back to his usual roots such as; drinking, racing, chasing loose women and pissing off the officials and the criminals. 

Gator gets in good with Bama only to spy a pretty little reporter Aggie Maybank (Supermodel Lauren Hutton of The Gambler, Viva Knivevel!, A Wedding, American Gigolo, Zorro: The Gay Blade and Once Bitten) and typical habits are to follow.

I have a quick few odds and ends about the film.  Initially Richard Kiel was slated to play Bones the behemoth bodyguard but he had a schedule conflict and suggested his also gargantuan buddy William Engesser.   The romance between Aggie and Gator feels a bit hammy and not as believable.  Sure Burt is pretty but that can last all of a weekend with this character while Hutton’s character is a charming, sophisticated and intelligent woman that just seemed out of place by this man’s side but that is just a writer’s critique.   

The action is impressive, the jokes are mildly raunchy and the car chases almost rival the boat sequence.  This follows under Good Ole Boy film in that the plot is decent but a bit pale compared to White Lightning.   Still not a bad film.