A Week of Gilliam: The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

A hardy welcome to all for Day 3 of A Week of Gilliam. I will explain that I am glossing over or simply skipping Brazil. I found it pretentious at best. I know many a Gilliam fan will state I didn't get it and that is fine. Moving on to today's film brings us tall tales, absurd notions and odd happenings so we are guaranteed to be entertained. Our story tells the tale of an 18^th century aristocrat, his collective henchmen and a little girl attempt to thwart the Turks. This is The Adventures of Baron Munchausen.

Surely a men among men.

With a small town under siege from the Turks shelling them day after day, food shortage and next to no arms to defend themselves, the good people retreat to the theater. Yes that does sound a bit daft but come on, these people are depressed, drained and possibly dying. They could use the distraction. The town is war torn thanks to "The Age of Reason" as the Turkish army is merely outside the city gates poised to overthrow the governing body, the mayor, The Right Ordinary Horatio Jackson (Jonathan Pryce of Roger Doesn't Live Here Anymore, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Brazil, Jumpin' Jack Flash, Selling Hitler, Glengarry Glen Ross, Tomorrow Never Dies and Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl), a man who is such a tit, he orders the death of a soldier performing feats of heroism worthy of legend and song so not to undermine the rest of morale amongst the troops. What!?! WHAT!?!! FYI, our brave soldier was played by Sting. Moving on, the performance continues until it is interrupted by an elderly man claiming to be the true Baron Munchausen (John Neville of A Study in Terror, The Company of Five, The First Churchills, The Adventures of Gerard, Grand, By Way of the Stars, Little Women, Silver Surfer, The X-Files and Crime and Punishment) and he establishes that the Sultan and he were very close at one time where only his incredible luck is what saved his life time and time again.

Uh-oh Eric Idle has poop face.

Among his own abilities he has some astounding assistants such as: Berthold (Eric Idle of Monty Python's Flying Circus, The Odd Job, Life of Brian, Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl, The Meaning of Life, Yellowbeard, The Transformers: The Movie, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Nearly Departed, Discworld, Discworld II: Mortality Bytes!, Hercules, Suddenly Susan and Ella Enchanted) the fastest man alive, Adolphus (Charles McKeown of Brazil, Erik the Viking, Life of Brian, American Friends, The Young Indiana Chronicles and The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus) a rifleman with extrordinary eyesight, Gustavus (Jack Purvis of Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, The Dark Crystal, Return of the Jedi, Brazil, Labyrinth, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Oingo Boingo: Skeletons in the Closet and The Silver Chair) a dwarf with super hearing and enough lung power to drop an army on its back with one deep exhalation and the superhuman strength of Albrecht (Winston Dennis of Wolcott, Time Bandits, Brazil, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Nuns on the Run and The Commitments).

Allons-y!!!

Gunfire disrupts the Baron's story and Jackson has the contract for the acting troupe canceled due to the Baron. The Baron is about to end it all when the troupe and theater company's daughter Sally Salt (Sarah Polley of Blue Monkey, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Ramona, Exotica, Avonlea, eXistenZ, Go, The Life Before This, Dawn of the Dead, Slings and Arrows and Splice) pleads for him to end this war and bring down the Turks. With a rogue cannonball flight later, it is off to make a hot air balloon out of ladies' knickers. Thankfully loads of bloomers rather than some silk or satin thongs or you would be sewing for months.

A quick trek to the moon to find Berthold as we find he has angered the King of the Moon (the late, great Robin Williams of Mork & Mindy, Moscow on the Hudson, The Fisher King, Hook, Aladdin, The Birdcage, Good Will Hunting, Happy Feet, Night at the Museum and The Big Wedding) giving Berthold got a wee bit frisky the Queen of the Moon, the unlikely trio land safely on Earth after a few issues in time to attend a party where the Roman God Vulcan (the late Sir Oliver Reed of Oliver!, The Three Musketeers, The Four Musketeers, Tommy, Condorman, Funny Bones, The Bruce and Gladiator) and he and his lovely wife Venus (Uma Thurman of Pulp Fiction, Gattaca, Batman & Robin, Beautiful Girls, The Truth About Cats & Dogs, Tape, Kill Bill: Vol. 1, Paycheck, Kill Bill: Vol. 2, Be Cool, The Producers, Motherhood, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lighting Thief and Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair) finding Albrecht and off they go again due to Vulcan's insane jealousy towards any man dare give a second glance to Venus. Dropped in the South Seas and swallowed by a massive creature of the sea, our heroes find Gustavus, Adolphus and even the Baron's horse Bucephalus. A bit of snuff later as the lot are sneezed free of the leviathan, the crew tells the Baron they are far too old and tired for such adventuring nonsense and he gives them an earful about diligence and duty to no avail. There is nothing more he can do but surrender directly to the Sultan. Can the amazing associates save the Baron??? Will the Angel of Death visit the Baron for the final time???

With a budget of $23 million bumped to $35 for final costs and post-production this odd film of an older man reminiscing about adventures long since past out for one more journey to death and glory. Sadly with special camera effects, explosive pyrotechnics, scale modeling and trick photography it only managed $8 million in the US box office due to Columbia Pictures very limited print release. They apparently were fed up with the complaints of Gilliam, the budget jumping back and forth, his negligence to Sarah Polley who was nine at the time stuck in ice cold water for prolong periods of time for better footage and working his people through the wringer to establish that one perfect performance or shot. Pythoner Eric Idle's thoughts were very simple. Go see the Gilliam movie for its brilliance, DON'T be in them because it is f**king madness!!!

Seem to be lacking a bit of plumage, sir.

A Week of Gilliam: Time Bandits

Welcome back for more of the Week of Gilliam and we continue down the filmography of an insane madman/genius as we move into a cult classic beloved by many as a brilliant yet abtruse as pint-sized plunders and pillagers of the space-time continum. The first of the Trilogy of Imagination followed by Brazil and ending with The Adventures of Baron Manchausen. That being said we delve into our main movie. This is Time Bandits.

The Minotaur farted!!

Our story revolves around Kevin (Craig Warnock of Time Bandits and To the Lighthouse) a young boy with an resplendent imagination and an obsession with ancient Greece. His parents are completely unaware of his interests and they attend activities including acquiring nifty gadgets to keep up with the Joneses. One night Kevin is asleep when an armored clad knight on horseback crashes out his wardrobe so one can only assume Narnia has begun its invasion. The knight bolts deep into the forest where his bedroom wall was. After coming out of hiding he sees the wall has returned and his bedroom is perfectly fine except there is a photo on the wall depicting an identical forest.

Well beats ending up with Ian Holm.

Kevin fears not this strange and off the wall antics as he preps a knapsack of food, water and of course his Polaroid camera. Cause a compass, decent combat knife and a couple of canteens is just crazy talk. Just then six dwarves fall out of the wardrobe carrying an ancient and worn map as they are off to find an exit out of there. They invite Kevin to join them and he is reluctant until a giant disembodied head called the Supreme Being chases after them demanding the map back. Kevin and the dwarves leap to a void of space-time and into Italy during the Napoleonic Wars. Hey, don't give me that expression. Still more coherent than most latter Doctor Who episodes.

Kevin takes a breath from all the crazy and finds out his traveling companions' names. Randall the leader (David Rappaport of Mysteries, Time Bandits, The Bride, The Wizard, Peter Gunn, L.A. Law, and Captain Planet and the Planeteers) followed by Fidgit (Kenny Baker of Circus of Horrors, Star Wars, The Star Wars Holiday Special, The Empire Strikes Back, Flash Gordon, Return of the Jedi, Ivanhoe, Amadeus, Prince Caspian and the Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith), Strutter (Malcolm Dixon of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, Black Jack, Flash Gordon, Time Bandits, The Goodies, The Dark Crystal, Return of the Jedi, Arena and Willow), Og (Mike Edmonds of Black Jack, The Empire Strikes Back, Clash of the Titans, The Goodies, The Dark Crystal, Men Without Hats: Safety Dance and Maid Marian and Her Merry Men) Wally (Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, The Dark Crystal, Return of the Jedi, Brazil, Labyrinth, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Oingo Boingo: Skeletons in the Closet and The Silver Chair) and Vermin (Tiny Ross of Black Jack, Flash Gordon and Time Bandits).

You are here and your travelers cheques are in Alpha Centauri.

Randall explains to Kevin that long ago the Supreme Being contracted out to they six for making repairs to the space-time fabric buUuUuUuuut Randall decided that the map would lead them to the greatest riches in the known world in all of time. Our hexad of hustlers lead Kevin throughout the halls of time including meeting Napoleon Bonaparte (Ian Holm of Alien, The Borrowers, The Return of the Borrowers, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, The Madness of King George, The Fifth Element, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings, Ratatouille and Alien: Isolation) Robin Hood ( John Cleese of Life of Brian, Fawlty Towers, Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl, The Meaning of Life, A Fish Called Wanda, Erik the Viking, Fierce Creatures, The World Is Not Enough, Mini Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and Trolls) and King Agamemnon (Sean Connery of An Age of Kings, Marnie, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, Shalako, The Anderson Tapes and Highlander) as Kevin documents their trips with his Polaroid camera. Too bad he didn't have a digital cam, he could have gotten footage too.

Unbeknownst to our adventurers, Evil (David Warner of The Wars of the Roses, Straw Dogs, The Omen, Time Bandits, Tron, The Company of Wolves, Waxwork, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country and In the Mouth of Madness) lurks from his dark domain, interested in the map of all space-time and will get it by any means necessary, using it to manipulate reality itself and shape it to his own idea and design. Apparently 40 species of parrots is most upsetting. Can Kevin and the bandits avoid Evil??? Will the Supreme Being dish out a wide sequence of slaps for the bandits???

Have I gone completely around the bend???

This being a “Cult Classic” that on a 5 million dollar budget that Time Bandits brought home $40 million in spite of being a fall movie and not a summer blockbuster nor a Christmas seasoned film. Co-written with fellow Python (allumnus...Allumni...Damn Latin co-respondence course) performer and writer Michael Palin. The film was backed by none other than the late Beatle George Harrison placing his song in the closing credits “Dream Away” along with American lawyer and business manager of George Harrison, Denis O' Brien. Both men founded HandMade Films production and backed this project as well as Monty Python's Life of Brian.

Yikes, the Wizard of Oz is pissed.

Sir Christopher Lee Week: The Three Musketeers

Welcome back fans of Lee to Day 4 of Sir Christopher Lee Week. Didn't get a lot of love for The Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf and well... I really can't blame you. It is a crap film and should be avoided at all costs unless you like anamorphic, piss poor SFX and large Sybil Danning breasts. So I chose a film filled with history, swordplay and swashbuckling. Yes, I am attempting to bribe you all in order to get in your good graces. Based on novelist Alexandre Dumas finer creations comes the 1973 version. This is The Three Musketeers.

Few are as dashing as I.

As the usual telling of the tale our film follows young D'Artangan (Michael York of Logan's Run, Knots Landing, The Lady and the Highwayman, The Return of the Musketeers, Eline Vere and Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery) who arrives in Paris with dreams of being a musketeer and serving the king. Little side note, I have never seen a Frenchman aside from Gerard Depardieu in The Man in the Iron Mask play a musketeer. Moving right along, as a country lad and unfamiliar with city customs our young lad find himself slapped about, insulted and robbed by the Comte de Rochefort (Christopher Lee).

Going downhill from there, D'Artagan directly challenges each musketeer to a duel due to some insult or accident or in general a faux-pa. As the duel begins, Jussac of the Cardinal Richelieu's guards along with five other swordsmen demands the immediate surrender of their commissions and blades. Athos (Oliver Reed of R3, The Jokers, The Assassination Bureau, The Big Sleep, Gor, Hired to Kill and Gladiator), Porthos (Frank Finlay of The Three Musketeers, The Four Musketeers, A Christmas Carol, Lifeforce and The Pianist) and Aramis (Richard Chamberlain of Dr. Kildare, Centennial, Shogun, King Solomon's Mines, The Bourne Identity and The Return of the Musketeers) feel the need to decline. D'Artagan fights along side the musketeers as they endeavor to end the power held over their king by the Cardinal (Charlton Heston of Arrowhead, Touch of Evil, Ben-Hur, The Ten Commandments, Planet of the Apes and Soylent Green).

Wow, Street Fighter's Sagat has really changed his look.

The juvenile bladesmaster finds comfort and solace in the arms of his landlord's wife Constance de Bonacieux (Raquel Welch of Fantastic Voyage, One Million Years, B.C., Fahtom, 100 Rifles, Bluebeard, Spin City and American Family) the Queen Anna's (Geraldine Chaplin of Doctor Zhivago, Rasputin, Stress Is Three, Love on the Ground, The Return of the Musketeers, Just Run! and The Hidden) dressmaker and closest confidante. The former lover of the queen, the Duke of Buckingham (Simon Ward of Young Winston, The Three Musketeers, Zulu Dawn, Judge John Deed and The Tudors) humbly asks for a token to remember her by when she hands over a priceless necklace with twelve diamonds in setting to him. The Cardinal decides to make the Queen appear to be in league with the Duke by asking the king to host a ball in the queen's honor so she may display her lovely necklace for all the court to see. Can the musketeers recover the necklace and save face for the queen? Will the Cardinal send his minions to dispatch them?

A few facts on the movie.

Swordmaster/ fight choreographer William Hobbs had to stage all the fight scenes by working both individually with each swordsman as well as orchestrate the blocked scenes with cinematographer/ director of photography David Watkins to make certain their form was correct and no injuries occurred but accidents will happen as Oliver Reed was severely injured during the windmill duel scene and almost died when he was stabbed in the throat. Thank God for good health care.

Originally it was said that the Beatles would play the Musketeers as their main director Richard Lester was on-board but the producers felt the Beatles would be too much of their own personality and not be appropriate for the characters. Charlton Heston was offered a role as one of the Musketeers as Aramis or Porthos but he felt the role was too physically demanding and chose to play the villain for a change.   

Dammit all!  We ran into the credits!