70's TV Week: Battlestar Galactica

What’s happenin’ sports fans?   Back this week to bring you a view of television years past.  Some of which is thoroughly enjoyable, some slightly sexist and some very creative.  So strap in your cockpit, stand by my command and get ready to launch.  This is Battlestar Galactica.

Port nacelle needs polishing.

Spoilers may very well be the salvation of humanity…

Our series hails from the mind of TV producer and writer Glen Larson (Quincy, M.E.  , B. J. and the Bear, The Fall Guy, Magnum, P. I. and Knight Rider) bringing together a ragtag group of rebel fighters comprised of an ancient race of humanity.  Through this storyline it claims humanity was born far, far away in a completely other civilization before Earth had even formed bacteria.  The Twelve Colonies of Man or Kobol (The planet of humanity’s origin) separated to different portions of the galaxy to colonize various planets in the hopes of creating not so much an empire but a commonwealth.  The odd part is all these planets are roughly in the same binary star system (a celestial body of more than two stars in the same orbital rotation of one other) More than a thousand years has drug on in a war of Humans Vs the Cylons (A series of robots created to be warriors for a long dead reptilian race, it is speculated by many of the survivors of Galactica that the Cylons turned on their masters and wiped them out).

Starbuck is not a WOMAN!

One human man Count Baltar (John Colicos of Forbidden Journey, Anne of the Thousand Day, Raid on Rommel, Star Trek TOS, and The Starlost), traitor to the 12 Colonies apprised the Cylons on how best to wage a sneak attack thus annihilating the colonies in a vicious and swift battle.     220 ships left after this seething assault one lone capital warship Galactica protects the surviving homes as they search of a new home and a place for peace.  They embark on a quest (and who doesn’t love those?) to find the legendary 13^th colony their history spoke of.  A planet designated as Earth.  Commander Adama (Lorne Greene of Bonanza, Sailor of Fortune, Earthquake, Roots, The Trial of Lee Harvey Oswald and Galactica 1980) leads Galactica to the best of his abilities alongside his Executive officer Colonel Tigh (Terry Carter of The Phil Silvers Show, Foxy Brown, McCloud and Benji) they guide their overworked and understaffed fighter pilots and bridge crew to dangers untold.  Adama’s own son Apollo (Richard Hatch of Santa Barbara, All My Children, The Streets of San Francisco and Battlestar Galactica 2004 remake) is a fighter pilot alongside his buddies and fellow pilots Starbuck (Dirk Benedict of Chopper One, Charlie’s Angels, The A-Team, Murder She Wrote and Alaska) and Boomer (Herbert Jefferson Jr. of Detroit 9000, The Streets of San Francisco, World War III, The Devlin Connection and Apollo 13)

Here are little fun facts about the show for you all now.   All the colonies are both species of human and planet are named after the Zodiac constellations.  The bridge set cost of build was just shy of 2 hundred thousand dollars. This was the first weekly television series that budgeted over a million dollars per episode due to special effect processing the re-use of previous footage throughout the series when they could.  Don Johnson was up for the part of Starbuck but the Southern accent killed that gig for him.  Hmm Don Johnson as Starbuck…Interesting.  

Space...through fish eye lens.

Now this particular latter 70’s show lasted 22 episodes and was revived in 1980 as Galactica 1980 and unfortunately between the farfetched writing and lack of real coherent story telling it this series followed its predecessor.   Lasting all of 10 episodes it took 24 years to resurrect for a whole new generation, but that they say is another story.   Growing up with this show I enjoyed every facet with the exception of this unnecessary robo-dog Dagget.   Of course I found out later it was 3 different chimpanzees that got rotated in costume.   Bobo, put on the suit!  Bad Bobo!  No fling poop in suit!  Well this show had the feel of a Star Wars adventure, I didn't have to wait 3 to 5 years for it to be told.  Excitement, dogfights, gambling, wooing the pretty ladies.   Folks they are a bunch of space pirates and frankly I was alright with that.

Ossorio Week: The Possessed

Back again all as we finish Ossorio Week with a lesser known film than the whole Blind Dead tetralogy.  It deals with gypsies, curses and absolutely no tramps and thieves.  Well maybe a theft or two; so hop in that bean bag chair, grab some Cheetos and a carbonated beverage.  This is The Possessed a.k.a. La endemoniada.

Why the long face, gypsy?

Spoilers will swallow your soul!

As it seems with most movies, there is always homage, something similar and a blatant rip-off.  The Possessed has the qualities of being a rip-off but only in the fact that it combines witchcraft and devil worship in the same sitting.   This under-budget made-for-TV movie starts us off with an immediate story of a gypsy woman is who was nabbed by the local fuzz.  I am guessing what herb she deals with. She is immediately a suspect of the disappearance of a small child and rather spending her less than golden years fending off the big mutha of cellblock D, she hurls herself out a window after admitting that she planned to sacrifice the little scamp to her dark lord and master: Carrot Top…um I mean Satan…I get them mixed up.  

Naturally her coven is most vexed on these proceedings, so they send the saucy gypsy (Kali Hansa of Les ebranlees, Diary of a Nymphomaniac, La cometesse perverse and the Lustful Amazons) to befriend the daughter of Police Commissioner Barnes, Susan (Marian Salgado of Hora once and Who Can Kill a Child?) as a convoluted plot of revenge.  After handing over a bizarre dagger and a bone necklace she tells Susan to keep these presents a secret from everyone.   Unbeknownst to naïve Susan, the weapon and necklace McGuffin were items belonging to the late witch and therefore…yeah she became possessed.  What? Did you want a cookie for guessing that?   Through the powers of darkness (or possibly half hearted FX makeup) the old witch claims the body of young Susan for her own.  Never before have you seen such levitation and well, mood swings!

Just hide the bong, kid.

Okay before I go any further, there are some issues to be addressed.  The following for your approval is thus: Castration, um baby sacrifice and some of the worse English dub actors I have ever heard.  Cashing in on any exploitation film that loves using the Devil as some end all standing for why people kill and maim.  While this seems to be fitting with this one and frankly I could have done without possessed Susan skipping along with a sack in hand.   Not a knapsack or hacky sack.   Yeah I really lost dinner appetite during that sequence of events. 

Lover/fiancée Anne (Lone Fleming of Tombs of the Blind Dead, Return of the Blind Dead, Bad Man’s River and It Happened at Nightmare Inn) worries of Susan’s behavior of late and consults Father Juan (Julian Mateos of Novela, Novios de la muerte, La Carmen and Teatro Club) in the possibility that Susan is possessed.     Susan is present to the coven’s baby sacrifice and she gets to gulp down some of that baby blood beverage too thus, beginning her down her dark and evil path of gypsy witch reincarnate.  The writing is confusing witchcraft or wicca for black mass so a lot of this story arc seems off its rocker.    

The production is not stellar, the lighting and my God the sound was less than impressive for this to be Ossorio’s fourth movie when the Blind Dead films were into their third.   The story feels as though it is forcing too many coincidences and facts down your throat and then pauses for a bit too long.   Hot and waaaaay too cold between cycles.   The violence is a bit over the top but then so is a lot of the film.   Oddly enough most of the violence is aimed as the vengeance of the coven sticking it to the man but you feel as though you could easily take a nap do to the padding of the film to get to that 90 minute marker.

The table is less wooden than the dubbing.

And with that we end our Ossorio week on a bit of a down note.   Stay tuned for next week’s installment of: well I haven’t actually thought of what to do next week.  Keep them eyes peeled for next week though.