007 Week: The Living Daylights

Welcome back Bond fans for Day 3 of 007 Week.  Today's Bond gets a lot of flack for not having what apparently is deemed the traditional good looks, wit and charm of the character.  I say to these naysayers that they are wrong.  While he is not in the same region as Connery or Moore I felt he met all the requirements of the iconic role and then some but perhaps I am biased given I was a huge fan of the Dino de Laurentis version of Flash Gordon and knew him as the Erron Flynn of Mongo, Prince Barin.  I speak of Timothy Dalton.  Consequently he had to fight tooth and nail for the role as Sam Neil, Pierce Brosnan (still in his Remington Steele contract), Lambert Wilson, Andrew Clarke and Sean Bean were all up for the part.  This is The Living Daylights.

No, I am not Remington Steele.

M: Gentlemen, this may only be an exercise so far as the Ministry of Defence is concerned.  But for me, it is a mater of spoils that the 00 section has been chosen for this test.  Your objective is to penetrate the radar installations of Gibralter. Now, the SAS has been placed on full alert to incept you, but I know you won't let me down.  Good luck, men.

Our movie opens up with what MI-6 consider a routine training exercise for the 00s based on a HALO jump,  5 mile swim and mountain climb.  Consider this the Iron man event for their performance record.  002 was captured and 004 have been slain by a mysterious assassin and is moving in on James Bond (Timothy Dalton of The Lion in Winter, Wuthering Heights, Flash Gordon, License to Kill, The Rocketeer, Hot Fuzz, Doctor Who and Penny Dreadful) as he manages to escape from the mountain face and pull his reserve shoot landing on nearby yacht with a lovely sun bathing beauty.  

Dr. Kimble is gunning for me!

His customary 2 hours late to report in, "M" (Robert Brown of The Newcomers, Wreck Raisers, The Message, The Spy Who Loved Me, Octopussy, A View to a Kill and Merlin of Crystal Cave) explains to Bond about a Russian general Koscov (Jeremy Krabbe of The Little Ark, Slippers, World War III, Jumpin' Jack Flash, A World Apart, The Punisher (1989), Kafka and The Fugitive)  wanting to defect, claiming his higher up is mad to the level of Stalin and plotting multiple assassinations and the possiblity of nuclear war.  A tag was found on 004's body claiming Smiert Spionom (an old KGB policy of assassins for spies or Death to Spies during the Cold War based on Fleming's SMERSH)  Bond is there at the opera to succeed in helping Koskov to flee the country away from KGB's prying eyes.  No sooner he is in MI-6 custody the another assassin bombs the English manor safe-house, guns down several operatives and helicopters the general away.

Dealing with the fallout of this SNAFU, Bond is assigned to find Koskov and take him back from General Puskin (John Rhy Davies of Shogun, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Best Revenge, Firewalker, Waxwork, Sliders, Wing Commander III: Heart of the Tiger, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring and One Night with the King) who sent his assassin for him and his fellow 00s.  Revenge and professionalism seem to be going hand and hand.

Now some fun filled trivia about the movie.  Surprised?????

Our opening number recorded by A-HA and this is composer John Barry's last composition for the series as he moved on to American projects like  Indecent Proposal, The Specialist, The Scarlett Letter and Mercury Rising.  This is the last James Bond movie to use an original Ian Fleming title until 19 years later with Casino Royale in 2006.

Blast! No fiddling jokes apply here.

Wild West TV Week: Maverick

And Day 4 of Wild West TV Week is here and booming, folks.  As we look back at the fun of frontier life, fending off outlaws and trying to make order of a lawless land I thought we should look at a series that had nothing to do with that particular theme.  Instead, we focus on the underbelly of society.  Your conmen, card sharks, gamblers and hustlers looking for a easy pot of money to be had and suckers to be taken advantage of.  This is Maverick.

That "lady" had an Adam's apple and a vicious right hook.

Bret Maverick: As my old pappy used to say, you can be a gentleman and still not spoil all you know about self-defense.






Two well heeled gamblers Bret (James Garner of Cheyenne, Darby's Rangers, The Great Escape, Support Your Local Sheriff!, Rockford Files and Space Cowboys) and Bart Maverick (Jack Kelly of Forbidden Planet, She Devil, Bob Hope Presents the Chrysler Theatre, Commandos, Young Billy Young and Get Christie Love!) happily out of the Union service are living life a day at a time, enjoying towns, women and the big score at a poker table.  Now lest you think these are not men of action; it could be concluded that both Bret and Bart saw too much death in the Civil War that neither of them wish to engage in mindless fisticuffs or gunfights.  Their action was 5 card stud and wooing crowds of looker-ons and rivaling in the profits.  But there are more then a handful of cheats, back shooters and gunslingers from town to town.  With conflicts waiting to happen, our swindlers do their level best to fast talk their way out of the impeding danger but when push comes to shove or a damsel is in distress our boys spring into action with more than their share of cowboy roundhouses and boots to the stomach.

Dapper and feeling dandy.

Roaming the frontier in search of that illusive "gold ring" or "big score" our fellas get into all sorts of mischief, aid the downtrodden and improve lives all the while swindling barbarous men at cards.  One would come to the conclusion the Maverick boys live in a certain sense of balance but I fail to see the cowardice that some viewers tend to mention.

Just a few points to be made about the show now.  With elaborate costumes and a constant altering background this was relatively inexpensive to make but only seem to have enough life for five seasons unlike shows like Bonanza lasting 14 seasons and Gunsmoke last 20 seasons.

We have two protagonists that traveled together or sometimes separately throughout the show giving plenty of alternative story arcs to work with.

GIN!  Oh dash it all, we're playing poker.

Sci-Fi Fantasy Week!

Sword and sorcery!! Danger and dragons! Good Vs Evil!  These are but a few examples of the genre that we will be tackling this week as we journey into this very realm.  5 days of films that were lost in obscurity to common household names I will try and provide you with as much enjoyment as possible involving realm of magic and mysticism as well as brave souls relying on courage, heart and steel.

Hey the Lord of the Rings set is beyond the cave, guys!

Philip Marlowe Week: The Pencil

Alright you cats and kittens pay attention.   We are back with more of that low down peeping tom Philip Marlowe.   Now that mug was on a milk run sneaking and peeking for a wandering husband when our shamus gets a ring up from a cop buddy Lt. McGee to hand something that needs a little muscle.  So roll up your sleeves, make sure that 38. snub has been cleaned and oiled.  This is The Pencil.

Gentleman caller or snoop? You decide.

Philip Marlowe: It was a hot damp August day and you couldn’t keep your neck dry with a spoiler.

Chasing after a wayward husband at the discretion of his client Marlowe feels like he is cooling his heels, chomping at the bit for some real work but you take the cases you have been given and you never look twice at the cabbage upfront.   Boy this slang is addictive.  Marlowe makes his way to the Wilcox Ave station because McGee (Billy Kearns of Purple Noon, The Trial, Playtime and Marathon Man) drops another referral in his lap.  Seems a bookmaker skimmed the wrong stack and now the mob want to grease the guy and collect their percentage.  The mob is funny that way.   Sal was sent a pencil from this organized crime syndicate signifying they are gonna rub him out with a couple of hired torpedoes.   This guy needs protection until he can breeze out of town, possibly out of the country.  

Starting crooning like Gene Austin or scram.

Marlowe makes an appearance to his client Mrs. Yeager (Lucy Lee Flippin of Annie Hall, Police Academy 2: The First Assignment, Flashdance and A Perfect World) to tell her husband is out of the picture and naturally she takes the truth very well.  While left ranting, raving and foaming at the mouth like a mad dog, Marlowe takes his cue to vamoose and head into the office.   Grabs a rod in case there is more heat than the day is long he heads out to meet his client at the Hotel Bennett but laughing boy shows up, dishes out 5000 gees and starts barking orders.  

His newest client Sal Vaccaro (David Healy of Joe 90, Patton, Supergirl and Labyrinth) cooked the books so much you think he had a Webber Grill and score more clams than Pismo Beach.   Marlowe offers a better hideout at the Hotel Rex; a dingy dive that doesn’t bother with a credit check to let you in while he rustles up some transportation out of the country.  

Afternoon Miss, I'm selling a subscription of me.

Now I just have a few tidbits and observations about this episode.   This is the first episode of Season 1 and it also introduces Marlowe’s main squeeze and Gal Friday Annie Riordan (Kathryn Leigh Scott of Dark Shadows, House of Dark Shadows, The Great Gatsby, Brannigan, The Greek Tycoon and Voice of the Heart), a no nonsense gal with some street smarts, a heart of gold and eyes on our shoofly.  The plane that brought the hit men into town is oddly enough a Lockheed Constellation and is an anachronism given they were not used in service until 1943.   PLANE OF THE FUTURE!!!!  What was common then was either a Boeing or Douglas DC-2 but I just thought it was a fun fact and not stepping on toes.

Western TV Week: The Wild Wild West

Back again kids and welcome to Western TV Week and let’s kick off this shindig right with embracing right after the Civil War we still have dangers to the country so President Grant enlisted some deep cover operatives for a long term operation.  So let’s dust off your spurs, grab your Stetson and your six-shooter.  This is The Wild Wild West.

 

Yes ladies I am a bit sweaty.

James T. West: It wasn’t your spoiler.

Lydia Monteran: It was…until you made me give it back.

Under the order of President Grant, James T. West (Robert Conrad of Sea Hunt, 77 Sunset Strip, Hawaiian Eye, Young Dillinger, The Bandits, The D.A., Assignment Vienna, Black Sheep Squadron, Centennial and The Lady in Red) a Civil War veteran and military intelligence officer is assigned to a long term deep undercover agent as well as his partner who is a master of disguise and tinkerer Artemus Gordon (Ross Martin of Geronimo, The Ceremony, Rod Serling’s Night Gallery, The Return of Charlie Chan, Vega$ and Jana of the Jungle).  West is decked out as an East Coast dandy with a private train and more than a few bucks to spare for the expansion.   

Snap out of it, West! You've been playing 8 ball all day!

With no back up, no real cavalry to speak of these two men are outfitted with the true sense of steampunk based weapons.  Hidden blades, unusual firearms and a few odds and ends stave off warlords, privateers and banditos.    During the midst of this madcap tales there were plenty of reoccurring villains such as; Doctor Loveless (Michael Dunn of Ship of Fools, Get Smart, Burke’s Law, You’re a Big Boy Now and Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea) and Count Carlos Mario Vincenzo Robespierre Manzeppi (Victor Buono of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane, 77 Sunset Strip, Perry Mason, The Girl from U.N.C.L.E., Batman and Target: Harry) both note worthy rogues in this den of thieves.  When West and Gordon are not trading punches and bullets they are wooing the ladies and let’s face it, a private train is the cat’s meow fellas.  Methinks that pool table got more than a few things racked on it.

And now I have just a few points to make about the show itself.  Primarily shot around Iverson Ranch in Chatsworth California as well as many horseback chases and gunfights found in a popular Paramount shooting location known as the Vasquez Rocks Natural Area Park, commonly used for Gunsmoke, Star Trek and The Planet of the Apes films.   Another very popular location for filming was Bronson Canyon, Griffith Park for its more hilly terrain and greenery as it has been shot for TV show such as: Bonanza, Star Trek, Gunsmoke, Knight Rider and MacGyver. 

Mmm...hope she comes with the house.

This show is a conglomerate of Ian Fleming’s James Bond savvy, the hard hitting western era and a smidgeon of Jules Vernes science fiction.  Our villains could double for the 1930’s serials or comic book characters.  You commonly saw anything from a secret society in the wings to mad scientists, revolutionaries of the Mexican Army, former Confederates to corrupt politicians feathering their own nest of ill repute.   I always got a kick out of the newest invention or mad scientist weapon of mass destruction every other week.

Action Pack Week: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys

Long ago when the Earth was young, the gods were excessively cruel and humanity was regards as nothing more than feces: to wit they feared the Day of the Excruciating Pooper Scooper, one man stood for justice.  He possessed a strength never known to the little mouth breathers and they heralded him as a hero.  So grab your waterskins, stock up on rations and don’t forget your 40 lb war boat.  This is Hercules: The Legendary Journeys.

That's not a rock monster, it's a rock lobster!!

Who can say what the spoilers truly stand for?

In 1995, Renaissance Pictures created five TV movies loosely based on the Greek mythological demi-god Hercules.  A man born of both man and god, fathered by Zeus the king of the gods he held strength to the likes that humanity had not seen prior and lemme tell ya these people were recording this all down on parchment. 

Bad dog!!

Hercules (Kevin Sorbo of Hercules and the Amazon Women, Kull the Conqueror, Dharma and Greg, Andromeda and The O.C.) journeys the lands aided by his partner (no not that kind of partner, just a sidekick) Iolaus (Michael Hurst of Death Warmed Over, A Moment Passing, Hercules in the Underworld and Bitch Slap)thwarting demons, monsters and overthrowing tyrants.  Occasionally getting into squabbles with Hercules’ half brother and full god of war Ares (Kevin Smith of Desperate Remedies, Young Hercules, Xena: Warrior Princess, Riverworld and Warriors of Virtue: The Return to Tao) our heroes rescued damsels, fought wars and attempted to farm in-between battles.  With superhuman strength, knowledge of melee and blunt weapons and good old fashioned fisticuffs our hero seeks to bring a sense of order where there is chaos.  And what is a hero without his fair share of villains wanting his head on a pig pole?  Aside from Ares being his primary source of torment Hera, queen of the gods loathed her stepson who was a symbol of Zeus’ infidelity and the bane of her existence apparently.  The spleen this woman vents on a guy… sheesh.

After the inception of TV movies, a series was created with the title of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and lasted for six seasons with a substantial cult following.  Created for the US of A but filmed in New Zealand the standing of this show went worldwide and got the typical explosion of merchandise from t-shirts to action figures.   Given this is a Sam Raimi/Robert Tapert creation there is a lot of slapstick, inside jokes and pop culture references to boggle one’s mind.   The popularity of this series resulted in the spinoffs of Young Hercules, a prequel series of Hercules adventures as a lad as well as Xena: Warrior Princess. 

Not a friendly critter.

 The series was a bit campy and silly in portions but generations of the myths’ fans had their fill and enjoyed them thoroughly.  I do count myself among them in the fact after chatting with more than a few of the cast members including Kevin Sorbo and just pointed out how much these adventures and mini-movies.  It is my opinion that the shows came later such as The New Adventures of Robin Hood, Beast Master and Jack of All Trades got a fair shake because of the sci-fi fantasy fans of this era.

Sci-Fi Week: The Ice Pirates

Hey kids I’m baaaaaack.   And what could be more than searching all of Dune for spice, oh wait that we aren’t watching anything as near as classy as Dune.  Thank God too.  If you are not a Frank Herbert fan you can barely follow the original Dune anyway.  No instead I thought we go with something campy, goofy and entirely too much blue screen.  So grab your vibroblades, hoist the pirate colors and beware of space herpes.   This is The Ice Pirates.

Never bother an alien on the crapper

Spoilers are the source of ultimate power!!!

Well folks starting this off I want to point out this is not meant to be taken serious…at all.  Scifi/Comedy here.  Writer Stanford Sherman (The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Batman, Shalimar, Krull and The Man Who Wasn’t There) and writer/director Stewart Raffill (Across the Great Divide, High Risk, The Sea Gypsies, Mac and Me and Passenger 57) comes a tale in the far away future where the galaxy is apparently drying up.  The main gold mine these days is water. Yes H2O worth more than all the spice the Atreides clan can muster.   Now when pirate is used in a sentence you normally think a scarred, scurvy ridden rapist and pillager.  Well not so much is the case here.   They are outfitted with rapier and cutlass still but it is more blasters and not so much burning down townships or colonies.    

Space models away!!

The film follows the course of Jason (Robert Urich of Magnum Force, Vega$, SWAT, Spenser: For Hire, She Knows Too Much and Lonesome Dove) leader of his nefarious…water thieves and fairly nice guy, his right hand man Roscoe (Michael D. Roberts of Manimal, Double Trouble, Manhunter, Rain Man and The First Family) head technician and primary robot builder, Zeno(Ron Perlman of Beauty and the Beast, Chronos, Enemy at the Gates,  Fallout 3, Blade II, Hellboy and Hellboy II: The Golden Army) the cutthroat, Maida (Anjelica Huston of This Is Spinal Tap, Prizzi’s Honor,  The Dead, The Addams Family, Buffalo Girls and The Perez Family) the swordsmaster…mistress (whatever) and Killjoy (John Matuszak former  Oakland Raiders  defensive end and of Caveman, The Dukes of Hazzard, The Goonies, Command 5 and Hollywood Beat) these ragtag rebels survive by stealing ice from this empiric orders known as the Templars of the planet Mithra. 

Oh god not again.   They’ll rip the hearts out of women’s chests and…oh never mind.  Not the Blind Dead series after all.  Maybe they hail from Middle Earth.  Uh getting back to the film at hand Jason and several of his crew were captured after a botched attempt at an ice run where they are to be castrated, lobotomized and put into indentured servitude.   Seriously folks this cannot be an option over death.  Personally I would be picking fights with Killjoy just so he would snap my neck and that would be it.  Just as it would look the boys are going to get the snip, a one Princess Karina (Mary Crosby of Dallas, Tapeheads, The Legend of Zorro, Queen of the Lot and The M Word) buys the lot of them to find the legendary planet, the 7^th world.  An Earth like planet encompassed in 75% of water.  I thought it had no texture.   Downside is no one truly knows where this planet is and the stories go that in has a time warp jump around it that can significantly age a man or woman to death and if they are off my a fraction of a margin they could be lost in a void forever.

Hmm hot girl in cryogenics...handy.

A few amusing aspects of this film I noticed and wanted to point them out.  During one of the big swordfights I noticed the place they are filming in was the Anheuser-Busch brewery in Van Nuys California.  I went on a tour many moons ago but I swear to you those winding metal staircases are them.   Raiding parties seem to consist of humans and droids.  I presume for heavy lifting or just faster attack speeds but most of the crew’s droids look a bit battered and worn.  Several bits of footage of the movie are clipped from Logan’s Run and Rollerball and Kevin Costner turned down the role of Jason.    It’s crass, politically incorrect and Tylenol still remains in the far, far away future.   Watch this for the pimp bots alone.  Yes droids talking late 70’s jive and pimping girls out.  Damn, I want a pimp bot.

Sci-fi Week

Hey folks!! This week we deal with tyrannical warlords, space battles and guys that cannot fire lasers straight.  No I am not reviewing any of the Star Wars but thanks to some of my readers' suggestions this will be Science Fiction Week.  Some of the more obscure pieces of Sci-fi from the latter 70's and early 80's is on the menu.  Some I have seen over and over as a wee lad and some I have never had the pleasure or displeasure of seeing.   It ought to make for some interesting reading overall.   So stay tuned!