Horror for the Holidays: Silent Night, Bloody Night

Greetings and welcome with festive cheer for the holidays and we enter Day 1 of Horror for the Holidays. Boy nothing says Christmas quite like mono sound mix, a almost technicolor quality and more grain on the film than the movie " Field of Wheat". I did not have a lot of luck with finding a decent copy of today's movie but we are going to press on and soldier through this terrifying collection weird tales of family and friends in a mansion previously occupied by crazy people. No I do not mean a dysfunctional family, I mean the house used to be a lunatic asylum. This is Silent Night, Bloody Night.

Carter, are we cliche murder bait?

With captivating taglines like: The mansion. The madness. The maniac. No escape. It is almost as if the poster taunts you or dares you to enter this awe inspiring film. My belief is it is telling to run far far away as though you are being chased by Leatherface but that is my take on it. So scary is this poster that the faint of heart dare not watch this movie alone and in the dark.

Our movie opens in on Christmas Eve 1950, with a gentleman name of Wilfred Butler fleeing out of his house engulfed in flames flailing around in the snow and just died presumably so. Top that, Citizen Kane!!! Years later, lawyer John Carter (Patrick O' Neal of Dick and the Duchess, Route 66, Assignment to Kill, El Condor and The Doris Day Show) and his secretary Ingrid (Astrid Heeren of Vice and Virtue, The Thomas Crown Affair and Castle Keep) arrive 20 years later during that same holiday staple probably cursing having to work on the holidays. Carter and Ingrid practically are assaulted with greetings by the town Sheriff Mason (Walter Klavun of It Should Happen to You, The Boston Strangler and The Brink's Job), Mayor Adams (Walter Abel of Fury, Holiday Inn, Mr. Skeffington and Island in the Sky) Tess Howard (Fran Stevens of The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight and Silent Night, Bloody Night), the town's phone operator and Charlie Towman (John Carradine of Stagecoach, The Grapes of Wrath, The Unearthly, House of the Black Death, Shock Waves and Kung Fu). The lot of them greet Carter and Ingrid in wonder to what they are doing in their minuscule crappy town.

Lost in a Pantene moment.

Word spreads about town that Wilfred's grandson, Jeffery (James Patterson of Lilith, In the Heat of the Night, Castle Keep and A Fable) is selling the enormous mansion of a paltry price of $50,000 which becomes the buzz of the town so that the tale even makes its way to the local loony bin causing an insane psycho to escape. Coincidence? Nah. With the exterior shots even in daylight this house has a Gothic, eerie feel as disturbing events seem to unfold. What lurks in this house? What tales could it tell us and what is that smell in the basement?

Just a few observations at this time. The dialogue is written if you combined the visual skills of Dickens' A Christmas Carol with that of a Gialli (Italian thriller or mystery) or Giallo if you prefer. The flashback sequences seem to be in sepia filter so everything captured looks grainy and disturbing. The film is littered with red herrings making you have to use your brain to figure out who the killer is and why these specific people are dying off. Make no mistake folks, this is a pre-cursor to the slasher genre to the likes of the original Black Christmas or the original Halloween.

A nice steady pace unveiled with colored filters, still images, eerie composure and a gothic story makes this a bizarre choice to be placed in a Christmas setting. With the exception of the Mayor lightly whistling Silent Night and his daughter having a jolly outfit on the weather shots look latter Fall rather then Winter. A classic example of how a horror film follows the lick of a Rolling Stones tune. Jazzy and swinging, baby. Seriously though, modern horror directors could take notes from this movie and getalong fine. If confused and unable to find it by this title, you can try the three other English titles: Zora, Death House and Night of the Dark Full Moon.

Falling off the grid in the late 70s, our movie fell into public domain only to be discovered by Elvira, Mistress of the Dark's gang giving it a cult following for the VHS generation.

Driving Miss Daisy: The Final Chapter

Horror for the Holidays

Well hello ladies and gents. Well it is that time, that time I must endure some gut wrenching terror or just spattering of fluids against the walls, ceiling and floors. I know it seems a trifle odd for this festive of the year when I could be enjoying Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life" or George Seatons's "Miracle on 34^th Street" but alas this blog is not that classy, refined or whimsical enough to handle that much Christmas hilarity and buoyancy. Do not be fooled by the extensive vocabulary , people. I sat through Zombie Lake.

Yeah this won't end in tears.

With this in mind I shall slug my waist high snow pants into the muck and bile that is Christmas themed horror films. "But Jake, clearly you have already suffered the slings and arrows of Christmas horror movies every made." A well meaning attempt to detour me from my chosen task, crazy voice in my head, but sadly there are more terror imbued dog flop to be had and I am spending this week subjecting you all to it. So if you were expecting a delightful reminiscence of Rudolph or Frosty, buddy have you hit the wrong blog. ENJOY!!!!

We are wearing coats in California... SAVE US!!!

Hodgepodge Scifi: Trollhunter

A heartfelt welcome back for Day 4 of Hodgepodge Scifi. It would appear today's film takes on the premise of a documentary in the style of The Blair Witch Project in Norway. Alas our valiant crew is not looking for hags but in fact there seems to be a steady decline in bears and many of the local hunters are convinced there is a poacher. Three college students are set out to find our illegal hunter but there's a slight catch. Seems as though said hunter is not trailing bear but a much deadlier predator. This is Trollhunter.

Ahhh!!! Paris Hilton!!! Oh, wait that's the troll.

With writer/producer/director Andre Ovredal (Future Murder, The Autopsy of Jane Doe and Ghost Projekt) this film is a found footage mockumentary aligning a cast of less than known actors cut interspersed with random footage following carnage of bears being wiped out, our students documentation director Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud of Orange Girl, Trollhunter and High Point), boom operator Johanna (Johanna Morck of Cold Prey 2, Magic Silverm Trollhunter, Date and Before She Came, After He Left) and cameraman Kallie (Tomas Alf Larsen of Cold Prey, Cold Prey 2, Trollhunter and It's Only Make Believe) on in hot pursuit as they survey the camps, finding odd tracks in the snow which is immediately dismissed by Finn Haugen (Hans Morten Hansen of Trollhunter, Dag, Curling King and Side om side), the head of Norwegian Wildlife Board. He believes the tracks to be faked and someone looking to pass on a ghost story or stir up publicity. The suspected poacher, a one Hans (Otto Jespersen of Odd Little Man, Rikets rost, Trollhunter, Nattskiftet and Borning) seems to know the mountains inside and out and could easily evade capture, live off the land and not worry of authorities coming at the ready for him.

Next time, no mating calls!!

Failing to secure an interview that morning, the trio bird-dogs him that night, slowly creeping up on him on foot when they see Hans fleeing for his life screaming, "Troll!" Thomas is attacked by a massive animal and the lot of them pile into Hans' Land Rover as their own vehicle's tires have been torn to shreds. Coming clean with the kids, Hans tells them he does not stalk and kill bears but in fact kills trolls. Naturally they are skeptical but ask to join Hans and record the hunt, which he agrees provided they adhere to his every condition on the hunt. No exceptions.

Encountering a troll, Hans blasts a three-headed beastie with a UV strobe light that must have been set at God level because the critter turns immediately to stone. We learn that sometimes trolls just explode due to a concentration of UV light. Normally the creatures stay out of populated areas and lately they have been violating their own instincts. Hans is determined to get a blood sample and see if something has altered in their diet. He later explains that his is a government agent that specializes in destroying these creatures if necessary, track and monitor their habits.

What is causing the creatures to roam about? Can Hans decipher what is going on before it is too late? Will the public finally learn that the creatures of myth are actually factual?

Just a few bit of info on the moving pictures there. This was shot entirely in the forests and mountain range of Western Norway which as actress Johanna Morck put it, an exhausting experience running up and down that region. According the director Ovredal this was the only way to maintain absolute secrecy on the flick as a whole. With some CGI, the creatures are very effective and the night vision view adds to the drama.

Sadly the comparison to The Blair Witch Project was weighed heavily on this movie and many found it flat performances and lacking texture. Personally, I found the cinematography amazing, the locations excellent for a creature of legend and in general, it was fair a great example of a low budgeted film pushing the envelope. Hell, Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 82 percent on the Fresh rating say 72% that saw it liked it overall and I have to agree. I went into this with no hope of being entertained and I was refreshingly surprised. Give it the once over, folks.

Yeah we have cold camps but we also snuggle well.

Hodgepodge Sci-fi: Mutant Girls Squad

How do folks, we are back with Day 3 of Hodgepodge Sci-Fi and we have not touched base on any Japanese sci-fi or horror so why not combine that?  From the bizarre, warped mind of director/writer Noboru Iguchi (The Canal, Hard Porno, Dark Habits, Body Heat, The Machine Girl, RoboGeisha and The ABCs of Death) which is primarily Japanese Adult Video has branched out in horror and gore films. Not sure if that is a good place to start but at least he knows blocking on a painted ass bobbling up and down so he has that going for him. This is Mutant Girls Squad.

Clearly the cute geeky girl needs mocking.

Our story follows bullied awkward girl Rin (Yumi Sugimoto of Engine Squadron Go-onger, Buzzer Beat, Sheiken Baby!: Shakespeare Syndrome, Pirate Squardron Gokaiger, We're a Bounty Hunter Team and Black Suit Story) constantly pummeled and threatened because she seems different. She starts feeling a severe pain in her hand. Her parents bolstering her confidence explains she hails from an ancient clan known as Hiruko (a clan of gifted mutants with superpowers) that chose to fight for what is right and pure. No sooner has this bomb being dropped, her house gets raided by a cadre of soldiers riddling her parents with bullets as she narrowly escapes with her life.

Killer Migraine Wave!!

Chased by civilians as she has been outed, Rin manifested a clawed and chitinous armored hand and is defending herself from blade wielding and gun totting villagers. They were only missing pitchforks and torches. Rin meets with Rei (Yuko Takayama of Twin Spica: Odyssey to Space, Rescue Wings, Travelers, Kamen Rider Wizard in Magic Land and Kamen Rider Wizard) takes her away to train with her powers with this rag-tag ban of rebels that have been persecuted and hounded and they are fed up with in demanding revenge against the human race. With everything spinning out of control, Rin is torn between defending the innocent humans rather than slaughtering them or subjugating them to her will and feels the path of the warrior versus monster seems to be the focal point of the movie. Will humanity suffer for a few idiots? Will the Hiruko rise above petty behavior or revel in the madness?

Okay now the true grit of the film. This is extremely bloody as well as silly. I think it is supposed to be dark humor as the villagers pick up weapons and try to end Rin some of the sequences were clever but not needed on the level of blood gags worthy of Dead Alive. Mind you, most of gags is not to the parallel that most modern horror movies so it looks a trifle cheesy. Peter Jackson's stomach may have flip-flopped in some scenes but the common element follows a shoestring budget. The term is Sushi Typhoon shows an amalgam of insanity, violence and goofy story telling.  

Again the English translation may have lost some critical details but honestly I cannot imagine it of the same height of a critically acclaimed science fiction. So if you need mindless violence, young girls in schoolgirl uniforms and buckets of blood, then look no further.

Rin lives the dream of becoming a proctologist.

Hodgepodge Sci-fi: The Book of Eli

Back again my loyal legion of readers and welcome to Day 2 of Hodgepodge Sci-fi. I thought we'd get right into one of the world's most common of science fiction, the post apocalypse. Now this normally ranges from anything to: zombie infestation, nuclear war, plague, meteor strike or Gaea getting stropy. Whatever the case may be it is once again follows the mentality of those in the right and those of might. This time around the story focuses on one man and what his goal means to the world. This is Book of Eli.

Hmm, Apocalypse or New Mexico?

Thirty years later... the world has taken a turn for the worse after the nuclear war that somehow statistically did not wipe out every last living thing. I mean I am just crunching the numbers on 180 megatons a single ICBM (Intercontinental Ballistic Missile), let alone the thousands of them that inhabit our world but I suppose suspending disbelief is in order. A lone wanderer, Eli (Denzel Washington of St. Elsewhere, Glory, Training Day, Man on Fire, Inside Man and American Gangster) moves on foot across the west coast of the US. Showing an impressive array of fighting skills, hunting and survival, it is completely feasible that this once decent soul probably never raised a hand in anger but now must adapt to his ruined world. In order to live, he may resort to killing those that would stop him from his quest. While seeking water he encounters more than a fair share of cannibalistic marauders and dispatches them like the wrathful hand of God.

The face of freedom.

Making his way to a tattered town lead by a man name of Carnegie (Gary Oldman of Rosecrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, Dracula, Leon: The Professional, Air Force One, Batman Begins and Robocop) also a literate man in a time that is almost a return to the dark ages. Carnegie sends his pack of men out into the wastes in search of a specific book that will provide him the words to motivate and reign over his people. With the best intentions, Carnegie feels he can bring order and right to the world and well folks, that is just not how it works and presumption tends to bite you in the ass 9 out of 10 times. Meanwhile in the local watering hole, Eli is jumped by a biker gang and they too meet the way of his blade and hand-to-hand fighting. Carnegie finds a kinship to Eli and tries to keep him in town to better it but Eli simply asks for a place to rest if he may.

Making his daughter Solara (Mila Kunis of That '70s Show, Family Guy, Black Swan and Ted) subservient to Eli's needs, she is made aware that not all men view women as a form of entertainment and hears Eli's prayers over the bounty of dinner providing him the strength to continue his quest. Solara shares this prayer with her blind mother Claudia (Jennifer Beals of Flashdance, Vampire's Kiss, Four Rooms, The L Word and Lauren) when Carnegie hears and recognizes it wanting the book for himself to keep his town under his yoke. Will Eli be able to continue his quest of carrying the word of God? Can Carnegie create a utopia through force?

A few comments about the movie now. This post-apocalypse sci-fi western brings a Mad Max/ Blood of Heroes vibe with a positive message that humanity can rise above their petty wants for the betterment of humanity. Denzel Washington did all his own hand-to-hand stunts and blade work via Bruce Lee's former student Dan Inosanto. This is one of the few movies that simply eludes to the war and does not give huge disclosure of the world that was aside from a few stories.

Oakely got enough screen time with the backpack and sunglasses Washington is toting and Dr. Dre's Beats headphones got a fair amount of being seen. No I do not feel there was too much product placement as much as most A list films commonly do. Take a peek on a Woody Allen or Mike Nichols flick and note how much merchandise pushed on you.

Traffic's light today.

Hodgepodge Sci-fi: Predators

Greetings to Day 1 of Hodgepodge Sci-fi and let's start the festivities!!! Um, by that I mean I start writing and you enjoy reading it. Sorry, no parties to be had. Today's film hails from the director of Vacancy, (Nimrod Antal of Kontroll, Vacancy, Armored and Metallica Through the Never) so clearly a director with vision and credibility. Tackling a popular franchise is never easily, let alone pushing a sequel for a series that has not seen light for over 20 years. Will it be hard to re-capture the magic or will our director just nail the footage, splice and call it a day? We will find out. This is Predators.

Found your liver... in case you were missing it.

Our film follows Royce (Adrien Brody of Harrison's Flowers, The Pianist, The Village, The Jacket, King Kong, Giallo and Midnight in Paris), a trained mercenary who finds himself in a pile of foliage in a jungle after what appears to be a violent or less than comforting teleportation.

Armed, pissed and ready to inflict some damage he encounters similarly ticked off people such as: Cuchillo (Danny Trejo of Desperado, Spy Kids, Heat, From Dusk Till Dawn and Machete), a Mexican Cartel enforcer, Spetsnaz (Russian Special Forces) soldier Nikolai (Oleg Taktarov of 15 Minutes, National Treasure, We Own the Night, NCIS and Reach Me) Israeli Defense Forces Sniper Isabelle (Alice Braga of City of God, I Am Legend, Redbelt, Blindness and Repo Men) Yakuza (Japanese Mafia) enforcer Hanzo (Louis Ozawa Changchien of Robot Stories, Gigantic, Fair Game, The Bourne Legacy and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.), Liberian revolutionary Mombasa (Mahershala Ali of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Place Beyond the Pines, House of Cards and The Hunger Games: Mockingjay- Part 1)Death row inmate Stans (Walton Goggins of The Shield, Justified, Sons of Anarchy and Mojave) and general practitioner of medicine Doctor Edwin (Topher Grace of That 70's Show, Spider-Man 3, Take Me Home Tonight, The Big Wedding and Interstellar) as they all confirm they too, were abducted from their beds in different parts of the world. Who has acquired them is yet to be determined as they are attacked by a pack of quadped beasts that they have never seen before.

GIT TO THE CHOPPA!!!  Wait, that's the other flick.

Royce becomes the defacto leader trying to make sure everyone gets out alive, everyone takes stock of food, ammo and water while Royce is trying to figure out where the hell they are. After the first creature encounter, the team takes shelter in a wrecked cargo ship of alien design when they realize they are not even on Earth any more. Our collection of bad asses encounter meet Noland (Laurence Fishburne of Apocalypse Now, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, Cherry 2000, Othello, The Matrix, Mission: Impossible III, CSI: Crime Scenes Investigation and Black-ish) a former Special Forces that has been living and surviving on the planet for ten years. Sadly rather than becoming a main character, Noland is the voice of exposition, telling the wayward travellers that this planet is one big hunting preserve to sharpen the Predators' skills, aim and talents by tracking and killing live game and they have all been drafted as prey. Will they escape? Can they be rescued and how many Predators can they take with them when they die?

Okay, now to the nitty gritty of the flick. The original script was written by director/writer Robert Rodrigez back in 1994 and was shelved and off the green-light for 16 years before anyone showed any interest. Initially cameos of both Dutch (Schwarzenegger) and Harrigan (Danny Glover) were scheduled for an appearance but I guess they was just too old for that crap. Hey, I keep it PG-13 around these here parts.

Adrien Brody manged to put on 25 lbs of muscle for the role but for some reason felt the Clint Eastwood Man with No Name/ Kurt Russell Snake Plissken gruff, rough voice would lend his character a bit more stature. My opinion, it did not. 

 Kinda got tired of the countless Predator shrieks. Whether or not it is a primal scream of rights of the hunt or maybe they are simply psyching themselves and their prey up I could not say. As far as directing, I feel Nimrod Antal did an excellent job having to breathe life back into the franchise and was a damn sight better than say... Alien: Resurrection.

Dammit, we're on an Alien set.  Who has the map?

Hodgepodge Sci-fi

Howdy readers and welcome to the week. Initially, I thought I would tackle some current horror flicks, remakes and the like and then I realized I like myself a bit too much to be subjected to that. So instead I gauged 5 sci-fi flicks from 2010. Yes, four whole years ago. Now some of these titles will immediately pop in your head while others with give you the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moment that I predict will amuse us all.

Um, can I get a shirt?

This wide open viewing of course is going to cover a myriad of sci-fi sub-genre such as: Post-Apocalypse, Alien Encounter, Different Realms and even some Creature Feature. I ask you bear with me on these as I am unfamiliar with more than a few titles so this may involve some digging but I am not unaccustomed to that at all. So cross your fingers and hope for the best as we look at Hodgepodge Sci-fi.

You have been warned. DUN DUN DUNNNNN!!!!

Fifty buttons on this rig and I still don't know how to run the coffee pot.