GTA: Vice City

How goes it my readers?   Well I missed Comic Con thanks to a butt ton of migraines so that sucked.  Today's foray into writing is an older subject I haven't done in a while, it's a video game.   Well it took me a while to get off of crappy WiFi and pick up Cox Cable again.   Yeah priorities are fun.   So I thought we would hit Steam for some classic mischief and nothing says classy like the world of Grand Theft Auto.   This is GTA: Vice City

Tools and the talent.

In the far-back time of 2002,  Rockstar Games gave us standard third-person perspective as we follow the story of Tommy Vercetti (Ray Liotta of Goodfellas, Unlawful Entry, No Escape, Corrina, Corrina, Cop Land, Revolver, Smokin' Aces and Narc).   A low ranking soldier of the Forelli family from Liberty City is back after a 15 year stretch in the iron bar hotel.  

The year is 1986 and his boss Sonny (Tom Sizemore of Heat, Red Planet, Blackhawk Down, Dreamcatcher, Born Killers and No Rules) feels his loyalty has earned him caporegime (Made Man, a boss among men) being put in charge of Vice City.    With a middleman, a crooked lawyer Ken the deal is set to go when out of nowhere, a three man hit squad smokes Tommy's bodyguards and the drug supplier.  Tommy and Ken flee while the gunmen take off with the cash and drugs.

All I asked was for Don Johnson's autograph!

Sonny is pissed and leaves it in Tommy's hands.  Tommy hits a yacht party hosted by a retired colonel Cortez (Robert Davi of Maniac Cop 2, Maniac Cop 3, Die Hard, License to Kill, Profiler and The Expendables 3) who brokered the coke deal and he wants answers too.   With a bit of mission working, Tommy starts piecing who screwed him and starts wacking wise guys like he has a hunting licence.   Bumping off a few key players in Vice City, Tommy and new partner Lance Vance (Phillip Michael Thomas of Miami Vice, The Wizard of Speed and Time, Extralarge: Black and White, Extralarge: Miami Killer, Swamp Thing, Extralarge: Moving Target and We Are Angels) the boys are sitting pretty on that much Colombian flake.




 

Meet pillars of the community.

Doesn't hurt to have a biker gang watching the compound and working with the Cuban gangs as business partners.    Tommy can also hide his money in buying out bankrupt companies, putting them back in the game and having additional earnings.

Let's talk about gameplay.  Standard W,A,S,D for movement, mouse for direction and of course index figure is firearms, melee like a bat, blade or brass knuckles and punch.  Yes you can "acquire" cars, trucks and bikes as you could in GTA III but all radio shows, music, chat formats are all 80s.   Gun, machine guns, SMGs, grenades, RPGs (Rocket Propelled Grenades), ball bats, a katana,  it's nuts what Tommy has to work with.  While some missions will be timed, overall you can explore the town, get the vibe of it and in general, have a blast.

Given we are in the wayback machine on this one, Vice City cannot help but look like Miami.    Dude, we have Lee Majors, Burt Reynolds, Danny Trejo, Gary Busey, Luis Guzman, Dennis Hopper all making voice appearances.  Including Blondie's Debbie Harry and Adult Actress Jenna Jameson as plot based characters.  Even NY Giants Lawrence Taylor is in on this.

Missions vary from delivering four flavors of ass whipping, to a remote control helicopter ride for demolitions and more gun fights than a game of Quake. 

Yes it is just as violent as say...almost any action, drama, crime drama or buddy cop film in the 80s and so what?  This can be one the kids play or not.  That is a parent call.

Nothing seamy going on here.  Honest.

Random Movie: Escape from the Planet of the Apes

Hey folks. Trying to juggle every component of Rotten Reelz has been a bit trying. I am awaiting some much needed funding for riffs, audio reviews and the standard write-up which has been neglected at this time. So today we trapse back into a Sci-Fi movie series we have not touched base in a while. A series revolving around the stories and histories of future, present and past. We come back to those damn dirty apes. This is Escape from the Planet of the Apes.

I swear woman, you listen to me before I fling poo!

Now as many of you that have seen the sequel, Beneath the Planet of the Apes, you know the Earth was blasted into a million pieces courtesy of an the end all nuclear warhead aimed at the Earth's core. So how the hell do you continue a film after that? Why you go back in the past. Yup using a slingshot maneuver around the sun, (That old chestnut) three astronauts using Colonel Taylor's crashed ship they set back to Earth.

Now right off the bat, people have problems with this story. What did they use for a launch platform? When did they pull the ship from the waters? How did they have the technological skill, equipment and tools to get it back into working order? So on, so on. Suspend disbelief and suck it up!

Man the body odor on this kid.

With behavioral psychologist, Dr. Zira (Kim Hunter of A Streetcar Named Desire, Police Story, Love, American Style, Young Dr. Kildare, Planet of the Apes and Beneath the Planet of the Apes), archeologist Dr. Cornelius (Roddy McDowell of The Felony Squad, Planet of the Apes, 5 Card Stud, Night Gallery, A Taste of Evil, The Poseidon Adventure, The Legend of Hell House, Fright Night and Batman The Animated Series) and and physicist Professor Milo (Sal Mineo of Rebel Without a Cause, Giant, Exodus, Police Story, S.W.A.T., Harry-O and Ellery Queen Mysteries) somehow escaped before the planet was obliterated and landed in the year 1971.  With the Vietnam war on, pollution and capitalism hand in hand and Civil Rights movement dragging its feet, three intelligent apes have arrived and in Taylor's ship after it had only been 10 years since its departure.

The three transported to the Los Angeles Zoo and kept under observation by Dr. Stephanie Branton (Natalie Trundy of 77 Sunset Strip, Perry Mason, The Felony Squad, Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, A Great American Tragedy and Huckleberry Fin) and Dr. Lewis Dixon (Bradford Dillman of The Way We Were, The Enforcer, Sudden Impact, Piranha, Man Outside and Hotel) in order to see what makes them tick. None of the apes exhibit intelligence nor the power of speech so they can't be poked, prodded or examined...gee not unlike what they did to Taylor. Now they are in a society that views them as freaks perhaps. Karma, she's a vicious bitch.

Hoop after hoop, the scientists can't seem to get anything out of Zira and Cornelius aside from simple puzzle solving and Zira announce she detests bananas.

That night Professor Milo is trying to calm everyone but is attacked through the bars by a mountain silverback snapping his little bones...the ones he needs to survive.

Yeesh more enemas if we don't swallow the pills.

Branton and Dixon head to the Presidential Commission to explain Zira and Cornelius' standings on how they got a hold of Taylor's ship, his present whereabouts and so on and so forth.

With a bit of good press our two chimpanzees are given a bit of luxury and trying to find their place in their new world. Meanwhile Scientific Advisor Dr. Otto Hasslein (Eric Braeden of Colossus: The Forbin Project, Rat Patrol, Lady Ice, Owen Marshall, Counselor at Law, The Power Within, Hagen, Charlie's Angels and Titanic) feels the apes are a security risk and removing them from the equation could be the very thing necessary for human survival. With nothing more than some hypothesis and a drunken confession on Zira's part of the dissection of human brains, even the President considers them a threat.

Unaware of this plot, Cornelius and Zira are living it up and also meet with a circus performer/owner Armando (Ricardo Montalban of Space Seed, The Train Robbers, Wonder Woman, The Mark of Zorro, Joe Panther, Police Story, Fantasy Island, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan and Spy Kids 3: Game Over) as Zira births her little bun in the oven naming him Milo after their lost colleague.

Zira and Cornelius are on the run with issues for them dead or alive but little Milo stays behind with Armando.

Are they now public enemy number one? Castro getting a free pass? Have you ever seen such a disregard for firearm safety ever?

They established in the first two movies that Taylor and company as well as Brent's crew came through a natural phenomenon of a temporal portal in space warped them through, ending up in the future so who's to say a doorway does not work the opposite route? Wibbly Wobbly, people.

What's clever about this film is showing a mirror response to humanity having issues with intelligent apes able to think, express and confer with others. They undergo everything Taylor did in the first movie and making it a brilliant parallel to how they mistreated their underdeveloped humans out of fear also allows humans to question their own morality, codes of conduct and whether or not their very souls are in the good.

With a 2.5 million budget, this film has some good humor, dramatic moments and some questions raised about our own humanity. The third of its collection but making it no less impressive.

Ach!  Ze German!

Forgotten Fantasy: Iron Warrior

Day 3 of Forgotten Fantasy is upon us. It's time for an Ator flick! Who's Ator? Miles O' Keeffe as an American action hero/Sci-Fi Fantasy competition to Schwarzenegger's Conan films. Ator the Fighting Eagle and The Blade Master. The Blade Master is known by another title that stands out. Cave Dwellers. This time however it is not directed by exploitation of Sci-Fi, Horror, Post-Apocalyptic, soft core porn and creature features Joe D' Amato (The Erotic Adventures of Aladdin X, Creepers, Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals and Beyond the Darkness) but instead Sci-fi/Giallo/exploitation and mockbuster director Alfonso Brescia (Cry of Death, The Labyrinth of Sex, Nights and Loves of Don Juan, Battle of the Amazons, Super Stooges vs the Wonder Women, Blood and Bullets, War of the Planets, Battle of the Stars, War of the Robots, Big Mamma and Star Odyssey) continuing the saga of Ator. This is Iron Warrior a.k.a. Ator the Iron Warrior.

I miss my katanas...and Thong.

Ator (Miles O’Keefe of Tarzan the Ape Man, Ator the Fighting Eagle, Sword of the Valiant and The Lone Runner) once again back in the world, this time lacking his his mute Asian sidekick Thong (Kiro Wehara of The Blade Master and Interzone). Presumbably he moved on/died/faded into obscurity. Ator also didn't have anything to do with Mila of Cave Dwellers and this time is not filmed in Italy but in this time on the island of Malta, Gozo Island. Well for those that appreciated the camp that was the previous two films, this takes on a more serious tone. Gone are the days of giant spider puppets, evil John Saxon lookalikes and invisible warriors. Our opening title sequence sounds like a retooled version of composer Jerry Goldsmith's Star Trek: The Motion Picture theme or the Star Trek: The Next Generation theme if you will. For shame composer Charles Scott a.k.a. Carlo Maria Cordio (Aenigma, The Pool Hustlers, Pieces, Troll 2, Midnight Ride, Beyond Darkness, Quest for the Mighty Sword and Deep Blood)

You will bow down before me, Jor-El. And one day, your heirs!!!

We have Ator and his brother...wait what? What brother? Damn you retcon! So Ator and Trogar are playing in what looks like one of John Milus Conan the Barbarian sets when Trogar gets kidnapped by an evil witch Phoedra (Elisabeth Kaza of The Beast, Mr. Klein, And the Ship Sails On and Castle Freak) as they were playing catch with I am guessing is a dead tribble or a very furry ball. Maybe someone casturated a Yeti. Who knows. Off to the evil witch's trial apparently on Krypton as she is surrounded by the same spiral rings that General Zod, Ursa and Non were trapped in as the Council past sentence over them..except this council looks to be made up of Robert Palmer's backup musicians and vocalists. Lead witch/sorceress in charge, Deeva (Iris Peynado of Nothing Left to Do but Cry, Warriors of the Wasteland, Devil Fish, Baciami strega, Ancient Warriors and Elisa di Rivombrosa) claims to have created both Ator and his twin brother Trogar as her tools of justice.

Deeva will create a princess for the kingdom of Dragor and claims that Trogar would have been one of her champions but not before she banishes Phoedra to the Underland for 18 years, a Ghost Region if you will. Naturally we need some exposition so some narration to establish Phoedra has not given up her evil ways, raised Trogar into her Iron Warrior (Franco Daddi of Hercules vs the Giant Warriors, La bambola di Satana, The Barbarians, Iron Warrior and Il commissario), leader of her armies of Hell. He does this wearing dark robes a kicky red sash, dance belt and a helm worthy of Chromeskull.

Yes, that material is thinner than Kate Moss' waistline.

Love the christening of Janna's 18^th birthday. Phoedra just appears with a large fan blowing her hair back, she looks nuttier than a fruitcake, floats up the dais and the royal dogs are losing their minds.

Doesn't help the camera angles feel so confined in this small chamber. Phoedra tells Janna she will marry the man that played with the dead tribble..er I mean Yeti testicle.

Ator is off to the land of Dragor to offer protection and aid to Princess Janna (Savina Gersak of Cudo nevidjeno, Iron Warrior, Midnight Ride, Curse II: The Bite, Beyond the Door III and Soldier of Fortune) and why wouldn't she want this well-built, long maned, oiled up specimen of warrior? Gone are his highlights and free flowing locks as he has braided it into a tail and is now brunette. SALONS OF THE DARK AGES!!!   Can't help but notice his broadsword now replacing his two katanas looks an awful lot like Conan's.

The Iron Warrior seems almost a match for Ator leading him to wonder if he can truly defeat him, his armies of Hell and end Phoedra's evil once and for all.

Okay visually this looks amazing from a fisheye lens, to zooms, extended handheld, some tripod and even a few decent crane shots. With slow motion, far too many jump cuts for teleportation or materialization of weapons and items, it almost feels like a rock video rather than a film.

The region looks amazing and idle for a fantasy based film and while Ator has had a complete makeover, O' Keeffe still looks like a bad ass. This is the last of the Ator films starring Miles O' Keeffe. Joe D' Amato returns to tack on a fourth installment of Ator as it is the Quest of the Mighty Sword or Troll 3 or Ator: Quest for the Mighty Sword or possibly Highlander III: The Sorcerer's Dark Apprentice. The problem is the story is not very gripping, detracts from anything previously written and seems to contradict Ator's whole beginnings. Also I miss mute Thong. Dude rolled with a Falchion and those are difficult blades to master in my opinion. 

He's deadly and FABULOUUUUSSSS!!!!

 

Dead Rising Week: Dead Rising 2

Welcome back ladies and gents! Yesterday I was busy making a Halloween project. Here's hoping the juicy skeleton looks amazing. Back to the topic at hand, zombies on the rise! Grr. Yes this beloved subgenre of horror has gone through spurts since 1968 George Romero's Night of the Living Dead. The 80s, 90s and the 2000s give a bit of zombie craze until 2004 it gets back up again to ravage the world. The Walking Dead is on its 6^th Season, Z Nation its second and Fear the Walking Dead to Season 2 as well. So let's get off our butt and get back into smiting the undead. This is Dead Rising 2.

Airball!!

Following after the exploits of Willamette Colorado, the zombie virus is a plague running rampant throughout the states. Five years after the first outbreak is the town of Fortune City, Nevada. A reality sport game Terror Is Reality. A game show where the contestants kill off zombies for money and glory. This time around our protagonist Chuck Greene (Peter Flemming of Replicant, Good Boy!, Love Sick: Secrets of a Sex Addict, Becoming Redwood and Almost Human) a former Motocross champion that is in need of money. His daughter Katey was bitten by her zombified mom when she was 5 and the only thing to keep the virus at bay is Zombrex(daily injection to suppress the zombie viral strain). The show's gaggle of zombies prepped for the contest get loose and Chuck scoops up Katey head to an emergency shelter. The lone security Raymond Sullivan (Phillip Maurice Hayes of Unforgiven, Powder, Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Sabrina, the Animated Series, Gadget and the Gadgetinis, Dinosaur Train and Wolves) is hesitant to allow Katey to stay but Chuck assures him he can keep her stockpiled on Zombrex.

Nope, I'm no Frank West but I'm good.

It looks worse and worse for Chuck as it looks like he went backstage and let loose the zombies of war to lunch and munch the competition. Chuck now has to venture out into Fortune City via air duct (Come out to the coast, you'll have a great time. Have a few laughs.) and make his way to more Zombrex until the Army is due to arrive in three days. Yup another 72 hours in our open ended, survival horror game with some new mechanics.

A Co-Op and Multiplayer option giving four players to compete in Terror Is Reality. The story progresses to offer the achievements and trophies. The health bar is a large collection of squares rather than the two small ones. The AI of survivors are less dopey. Meaning they can nut up and fight, the zombies like to have man meat Chuck and makes the escort mission less painful and maddening. Chuck can get distracted in mini games via casinos to gamble for more money. The vehicle mechanics are so much better but mostly bikes to maybe fit Chuck's former lifestyle as a motocross champ. 

Our combo weapons have gotten a bit screwier with things like: Dynameat (A stick of dynamite crammed in a ham), the Paddlesaw (two chainsaws duct taped to a kayak paddle ) the Hail Mary (a grenade taped to a football) and finally the Spiked Bat (ballbat with nails hammered in it) and you will need it as your boss battles are just as loopy psychopaths have either gone crackers due to zombies or the panic in the air inciting fear giving them jollies. Love the additional weapon Boomstick (a pump action shotgun duct taped with a pitchfork) and the ridiculous activist Stacey (Robyn Ross of Mega Man, Juno, Dead Rising 2, Fairly Legal, Suck it Up Buttercup and Cedar Cove) who was at the show protesting for zombie rights and equality.

It is dark humor, warped mini-games, squashing a zombie with a motobike so yes this is gorefest of goofiness. 

Zombie combo platter!!!

A Sequel Like No Other: Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance

Well hello there my little lamby lambs and welcome back for the week here at Rotten Reelz Reviews. Now we have a few announcements for the week but that will all have to wait because...I have the sequel! What sequel you may find yourself asking? Why, only the sequel you yourself didn't even know you wanted. Yes the sequel to follow 25 years later from all the hard hitting action, paint balls for blood, the tactical wisdom of Shoot, shoot shoot, shoot them, man! I speak of none other than Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance.

Kawasu e no ikō o chūshi! or Abort move to dodge!

25 years later and the streets of L.A.have not improved. Technology and communications run at an all-time high and the Yakuza are in full swing. Joe Marshall (Matt Karedas of American Revenge, Samurai Cop and JAG)has all but disappeared after the death of Jennifer (now played by adult film star Kayden Kross of Escort, The Turn On. The Con Job, Nurses 2. Orgasm and My Sister's Husband)

Frank (Mark Frazer of Another World, Hunter, Samurai Cop and Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) has a life, a good woman and a new partner Detective Higgins (Laurene Landon of Airplane II: The Sequel, Hundra, Maniac Cop, Wicked Stepmother, Maniac Cop 2, Drive and Knife to a Gunfight) whose plastic surgery is kinda frightening to look at. Seriously, I can barely understand her given her jaw has been reconstructed and her flesh pulled taunt. It's really scary. Frank knows a gang war is about to go down with the bodies piling up on either side but his captain, Joe Harmon (Joe Estevez of Soultaker, Werewolf, Cyber Seeker, Fatal Justice, Toad Warrior, Rollergator, Demolition Highway and Guns of El Chupacabra) is a bit of a prick and doesn't care for cops with instinct only by the book. At least 3 tsuba (hilt for a wakasashi or katana) have been left at the murder scenes.

Bai Ling's late afternoon wear.

 Frank tracks down the shipping address only to find Joe, alive and well, hiding out in the desert making duplicates based on the 8 tsuba of virtue for swords living the life of peace when Katanas strike! Agreeing to work with Frank again, Joe meets Milena ( Again adult film star Kayden Kross of Escort, The Turn On. The Con Job, Nurses 2. Orgasm and My Sister's Husband) the spitting image of his dead wife Jennifer and a hokey romance ensues.

3 semi-nude girls and you can't see a thing in this shot! muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Joe drug into the middle of this potential power keg must do battle with the Katana clan against former mullet Fujiyama (Cranston Komuro of Samurai Cop and Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance) and his three deadliest specialists: Dogge' (Bai Ling of The Crow, Anna and the King, Sky Captain and the World of Tommorow, Blood Shed, The Key and 6 Ways to Die), Hera (Adult film actress Lexi Belle of Trouble Youth 3, Sweet Petite, The Ring, Girls Love Girls 3 and Lusty Young Lesbians Vol. 6) and Tessa (Adult film star Zoey Monroe of Slut Puppies 7, Buttsex Nymphos 2, Bitter Sweet. Young & Glamorous 5, Lil' Gaping Lesbians 5, and the classic P.O.V. Pervert 16) . Can Joe and Frank put aside their differences to handle Katana again? Will Joe have another lovely lady wig? Will Frank STOP mugging for the camera?

Originally pitched as Marshall's partner Frank would team up with Joe's daughter to avenge dear old Joe when...actor Matt Karedas turns out to be alive after years off the grid. Whoops. Better make him a producer.  Dear sweet lord why??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US ALL???!!! Okay, that bit of overacting is courtesy of The Room's Tommy Wiseau appearing and having a part. The horror... the horror. YOU'RE SLICING ME APART, SAMURAI!!! Yup, got it out of my system now.

That's not my gun digging into your hip, baby.

Summer Blockbusters of 1985: Rambo: First Blood Part 2

Well hello there boys and girls... hope my creepy clown writing doesn't frighten you all away and welcome back to Day 2 of Summer Blockbusters of 1985. This time around we are in sequel territory. I know many of you are pissed while others are thrilled. Folks, don't judge people by the caliber of movie they watch... unless it is a snuff film, then go report them to the cops ASAP. So what's better than an action hero making explosions, whaling the monkey crap out of his opponents and saving the day? Well not much unless you live in a timeline were Russians are godless heathens and the Vietnamese are still deemed EeeeEeEEeeeevilll!!!! This is Rambo: First Blood Part 2.

REMAIN SEATED TIL WE ARE TAXIED IN!!!

3 years hard labor John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone of Death Race 2000, Rocky, Paradise Alley, Nighthawks, Cobra, Lock Up, Tango & Cash and The Expendables) former Green Beret highly decorated Vietnam vet has been locked up for his snapping and taking down a small community of local law enforcement that beat him, slapped him around and gave him flashbacks to his POW days in a South Vietnamese prison camp. While literally breaking rocks when his commanding officer and dear friend Colonel Trautman (Richard Crenna of Death Ship, First Blood, Table for Five, It Takes Two, The Flamingo Kid, Summer Rental and Hot Shots! Part Deux) has been pulling every string he can and touching base with every contact he has ever made to get Rambo out.

A mission has come up and Rambo is one of the most qualified to carry it out. Rambo mulls it over and decides he rather be out than locked in a box. Trautman tells Rambo a presidential pardon is being made for him on the condition he flies back to Vietnam with Trautman to search for POWs. Working in junction with the C.I.A. is the commander of the outpost Marshall Murdock (Charles Napier of Thunder and Lightning, B.J. And the Bear, Dallas, Outlaws, Hit List, Maniac Cop 2, Silence of the Lambs, The Critic and Superman: The Animated Series) who assigns Rambo to infiltrate the prison camp that he once broke out of , take pictures of the prison and an extraction team led by Trautman will hit the camp and claim any existing POWs.

Nice butt on that Rambo.  He do stair runs?

Outfitted with a MP5 K sub-machine gun, a decent compound slow re-curve bow, arrows of various heads including explosives, a Nikon for the snaps, throwing knives and a Bowie knife our hero preps for a nighttime HALO (High Altitude Low Opening) drop, Rambo gets hung up on the plane, saws away his equipment to make his jump only to be about 5 klicks (5 kilometers or 3.1 miles) from his rendezvous site with his only contact about the camps. Meeting Co (Julia Nickson of Crime Story, Noble House, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Around the World in 80 Days, Babylon 5, Double Dragon and Half-Life) she leads him down river to investigate what she believes is nothing but hopeful rumors only to find that it is the harsh truth. Will Rambo be able to help these men? Will his own government leave him hanging? What of the Soviet Hind gunship helicopter in the trailer?

And now facts you can use to entertain, inform or annoy fellow movie goers. Ready?

The film was dedicated to stuntman Cliff Wenger Jr. Who died due to one of the film explosions. James Cameron wrote a first draft of the script while tinkering with Aliens screenplay during production delays on The Terminator.

The only film in the Rambo series nominated for an Oscar. Directo George P. Cosmatos was hired on to direct when Stallone's son Sage saw Cosmatos'f film Of Unknown Origin. He later went on to direct Cobra as well.  Trautman's Green Beret flash has altered from First Blood as he was with Army's 5^th Special Forces Group and for this film he is 1^st Special Operations Command. Maybe he was reassigned after First Blood or maybe someone in props goofed.

MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!  I don't need another ticket!!

Puppet Master Week: Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter

Hello there and welcome back to Day 5 of Puppet Master Week. It has been quite the whirlwind with fairly decent writing in spite of a few continuity errors and a path of has bounced our characters through various timelines. I admit having somewhat of a guilty pleasure with this series and so perhaps I am not as critical as I should be. We continue our story arc with the continuation of the 4^th movie when a new Puppet Master Rick Myers has gain not only control of the puppets but the blessing of Toulon to continue Myers independent research of the formula in all that it may provide. Of course their is the matter of thwarting Sutekh and that remains to go unpunished in that god/demon's eyes. This is Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter.

Telling you these late night film session are wiping me out.

Oh if only the tagline The Final Chapter held sway or meaning in films. Just ask Jason Vorhees,Freddy Kruger or those damn crocodiles from Lake Placid. After the previous events of Puppet Master 4, Rick Myers (Gordon Currie of Puppet Master 4, Blood & Donuts, Highwaymen and The Dark Hours) is arrested for the deaths of Dr. Piper and Baker, given he would have been the only one with access to either. Motive? Well the police believe it simple enough that they were cutting him out of the grant and potential success his A.I.work would have. Enter Dr. Jennings (Ian Ogilvy of Withfinder General, Tom, Dick and Harriet, Death Becomes Her, Walker, Texas Ranger, and The Disappearance of Kevin Johnson) who decides in his lack of wisdom to view Rick's story of the happenings of the nights leading up with the discovery of Toulon' formula, the puppets and the chance of those unrivaled treasures to be found, professes to dismiss Rick's claims but clearly sees he did not cause these deaths.

Dane Cook's true form!!

Meanwhile Sutekh, defeated by mere mortals decides to get his claws dirty and creates a new Totem with his own life force attached to it. Apparently he cannot leave Hell without a homunculus or totem. Nothing strikes fear in the heart than a creature maybe 24 inches tall. Suzie (Chandra West of Kindred, The Embraced, The Gates, Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe, Hidden Moon and Played) is by Lauren's side when a vision of Sutekh/Totem appears in the room outlining his intent on Rick, the puppets and Hell probably anything or anyone standing in the way. Unable to reach him, Suzie heads back to the hotel.

Jennings hellbent to get Toulon's formula sends his rent-a-thugs to search the hotel and if needs be, bounce Rick around until he coughs it up. With the spirit of Toulon (Guy Rolfe) warning Rick of the impending danger, the lad rouses the troops and prepares for the intruders and the totem.

Will Jennings get the formula for his own insane lust for power? Will Sutekh unleash a mammoth can of whoop ass? Will the puppets die protecting their new master?

We can converse about some trivia with this film now. An entire day of filming was lost on due to the crew walking off as their paychecks had bounced as a whole. The issue was resolved expeditiously. David Allen of David Allen's Production crew of animatronics and stop motion animation felt this was his final installment to the films. In August 16^th, 1999 the man who truly brought the puppets to life passed away.

Torch makes an appearance in this one and yes suspend disbelief for his absence in 4 as we did with Six-Shooter for the first two. 

This movie was shot back to back with Puppet Master 4 due to it was one movie broken into two that Full Moon's own CEO Charles Band was scheduled to direct known as Puppet Master: The Movie. Catchy title to be certain. Guess Puppet Master: The Moving Pictures sounded hokey. As our final scene establishes there is still more to come but for this reviewer, I am done for the week.

JAZZ HANDS!!!

Puppet Master Week: Puppet Master 4: The Demon

Greetings my remaining readers. After this week I cannot say I blame you running for the virtual hills but I return for Day 4 of Puppet Master Week. It would appear this time around our fearsome figurines seems to be in the modern age and placed away in their trunk...but for how long? What if hell itself decided to wage war on humanity? What could possibly stave of the denizens of Hell? This is Puppet Master 4: The Demon

Hook shot!!!  Yes, bad pun.

Deep within the bowels of Hell lies a demon known only as Sutekh (just ignore that it is also the Egyptian god of death, war, storms and disorder) who sends a trio of his underlings, constructs called totems to dispatch any and everyone that knows the the secret of animation (So Disney, WB and 20^th Century Fox are scared out of their minds), including of course our fellow Andre Toulon (Guy Rolfe of The Case of Marcel Duchamp, The Bride, Dolls, William Tell, Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge and Retro Puppet Master) and his puppets. Caretaker of the hotel Bodega Bay Inn, Rick Meyers (Gordon Currie of 21 Jump Street, Alive, Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter, Forever Knight, Highlander: The Raven and Leap Years) should really read the fine print on this gig, uses the basement region as a makeshift lab into his experiments in artificial intelligence while his mentors Dr. Piper (Stacy Randall of Trancers 4: Jack of Swords, The Assault, From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money and Shade) and Dr. Baker (Felton Perry of Magnum Force, Robocop, Hooperman and Dumb & Dumber) work uninhibited in their lab when they encounter a package holding one of the strange totems that smacks them about and for lack of better term seems to tear their souls from their bodies.

Val Kilmer has really let himself go.

Meanwhile that is happening, Rick's buddies Cameron (Ash Adams of A Nightmare on Elm Street, Lionheart, Puppet Master 4 and Once Fallen), Suzie (Chandra West of Viper, Something More, Universal Soldier II: Brothers in Arms, Forever Knight, Night Terrors and Highlander) and Lauren (Teresa Hill of Puppet Master 4, Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter, Models Inc., Raging Angels, Bio-Dome and Twin Falls Idaho) to hang out and typical get wasted when Rick tells them of the puppets that seem almost lifelike and similar to his A.I.works and proceeds to awaken them with the formula. Now this is where it gets nutty. The formulas hails from Egypt from a band of sorcerers that were loyal to Sutekh and anyone using it may anger this ancient power. Oops.

As Rick goes through Toulon's notes he discovers this amazing ability to create stop motion animation, that is animate the puppets and fight alongside them as the totems have come gunning for him. Toulon makes an appearance as a vested spirit to aid Rick in controlling the puppets and reviving Decapitron his darker puppet made specifically for taking out totems... mighty convenient but hey that happens. Will the puppets be able to stop the totems?? Could the totems win? Shouldn't we dust off, nuke the sight from orbit and move on?

A few tidbits on the movie now. David Allen Productions re-apprises its services for the puppets but for some reason Torch was benched and his flamethrower became Tunneler's new laz weapon and he must also be buck bare as his coat made its way on Decapitron. Rushed to finish the 4^th installment was supposed to be a longer film be producers wanted the film out ASAP, so Puppet Master 4 became 4 and 5. Similar to the latter Critters movie, one film got sliced in twine and made into 2 movies closely following each other. No nudity to speak of but a fair amount of gore effects that seem well silly in some spots. Your call on this one, readers.

So Hell is connected to Carnie Fun fairs??? Should have known.

Puppet Master Week: Puppet Master II

Salutations everyone and welcome back for Day 2 of Puppet Master Week. When we last left our maleficent marionettes, they held quite a party for the psychics and that may have ended all in tears. Now, we find the mischievous little monsters breaking into Shady Oaks Cemetery uncovering the grave of Andre Toulon, Pinhead working diligently to clear off the dirt to find his dearly departed master.  This is Puppet Master II.

I still don't see your ball.  just take the penalty so we can play!

With Blade, Leech Woman, Jester and Tunneler by his side, Pinhead pours Toulon's formula over the decaying skeleton giving it life again. Why they waited a year before raising their beloved master, coupled with the fact he has been dead for 50 years, shouldn't he almost be dust?

Months later, a group of parapsychologists, led by Carolyn Bramwell (Elizabeth Maclellan of Friday's Curse, Jake and the Fatman, Santa Barbara, Puppet Master 2 and Crash and Burn) is trying to discover there is any truth to the ramblings of Alex Whitaker from the previous movie. Claims and accusations of a formula raising the dead does perk some ears up. With that logical conclusion, our brilliant shrinks head for Bodega Bay Inn, to investigate. Along with Carolyn is her brother Patrick (Gregory Webb of Boone, Falcon Crest, Running Mates and It's a Living), Camille (Nita Talbot of Search for Tomorrow, Girl Happy, That Funny Feeling, Night Shift and Spider-Man: The Animated Series) and Lance (Jeff Celentano of American Ninja 2: The Confrontation, Puppet Master II, The Player, Windfall and Moscow Heat) as they just move into to the hotel. Permits, contacting a landlord or executor of the estate is not a big issue apparently.

Medieval Darkman misspoke the words.

Camille is nabbed by the puppets with no hide nor hair of her left to be found. Plot device convenience brings Camille's son, Michael (Colin Bernsen of Double Trouble, Future Shock, Savage Land, The Glass Cage, Sliders and Cover Me) to visit the hotel. As luck would have it a bandaged fellow Eriquee Chanee' (Steve Welles of Biohazard, Shooters, Solar Crisis and Baywatch) standing about the same height and build of Andre Toulon, claims to have inherited the house and was in Bucharest prior to their arrival, graciously allows them to stay and find whatever it is they are looking for. A mystery indeed.

Odd things and deaths occur when it would appear that Toulon resurrected after all these years has gone completely unhinged, claiming that Carolyn is the reincarnation of his late wife. Yeah, that old chestnut that horror gets WAAAAAAAAAAY too often. Will Carolyn's soul and body survive? Are we going to see the book of the dead somewhere in here? And what of Scarecrow's brain?

Just some notations on the film now. David Allen Productions, once again show their capabilities in stop motion animation and animatronics. Creating a new puppet Torch, 4 versions had to be made for safety on the set as he flambes people in different scale and shots. Their puppet could shoot flames as long as 10 feet. When still linked to Paramount for distribution, the studio executives disliked the puppet Leech Woman and demanded it be destroyed because they didn't want her for future sequels. The funny thing is, she has made a comeback for Puppet Master III.... or did she?

With brief nudity, the gore has kicked up a notch but no more than the previous film.

Hey that's not Tom Servo!

Hodgepodge Sci-fi: Predators

Greetings to Day 1 of Hodgepodge Sci-fi and let's start the festivities!!! Um, by that I mean I start writing and you enjoy reading it. Sorry, no parties to be had. Today's film hails from the director of Vacancy, (Nimrod Antal of Kontroll, Vacancy, Armored and Metallica Through the Never) so clearly a director with vision and credibility. Tackling a popular franchise is never easily, let alone pushing a sequel for a series that has not seen light for over 20 years. Will it be hard to re-capture the magic or will our director just nail the footage, splice and call it a day? We will find out. This is Predators.

Found your liver... in case you were missing it.

Our film follows Royce (Adrien Brody of Harrison's Flowers, The Pianist, The Village, The Jacket, King Kong, Giallo and Midnight in Paris), a trained mercenary who finds himself in a pile of foliage in a jungle after what appears to be a violent or less than comforting teleportation.

Armed, pissed and ready to inflict some damage he encounters similarly ticked off people such as: Cuchillo (Danny Trejo of Desperado, Spy Kids, Heat, From Dusk Till Dawn and Machete), a Mexican Cartel enforcer, Spetsnaz (Russian Special Forces) soldier Nikolai (Oleg Taktarov of 15 Minutes, National Treasure, We Own the Night, NCIS and Reach Me) Israeli Defense Forces Sniper Isabelle (Alice Braga of City of God, I Am Legend, Redbelt, Blindness and Repo Men) Yakuza (Japanese Mafia) enforcer Hanzo (Louis Ozawa Changchien of Robot Stories, Gigantic, Fair Game, The Bourne Legacy and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.), Liberian revolutionary Mombasa (Mahershala Ali of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Place Beyond the Pines, House of Cards and The Hunger Games: Mockingjay- Part 1)Death row inmate Stans (Walton Goggins of The Shield, Justified, Sons of Anarchy and Mojave) and general practitioner of medicine Doctor Edwin (Topher Grace of That 70's Show, Spider-Man 3, Take Me Home Tonight, The Big Wedding and Interstellar) as they all confirm they too, were abducted from their beds in different parts of the world. Who has acquired them is yet to be determined as they are attacked by a pack of quadped beasts that they have never seen before.

GIT TO THE CHOPPA!!!  Wait, that's the other flick.

Royce becomes the defacto leader trying to make sure everyone gets out alive, everyone takes stock of food, ammo and water while Royce is trying to figure out where the hell they are. After the first creature encounter, the team takes shelter in a wrecked cargo ship of alien design when they realize they are not even on Earth any more. Our collection of bad asses encounter meet Noland (Laurence Fishburne of Apocalypse Now, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, Cherry 2000, Othello, The Matrix, Mission: Impossible III, CSI: Crime Scenes Investigation and Black-ish) a former Special Forces that has been living and surviving on the planet for ten years. Sadly rather than becoming a main character, Noland is the voice of exposition, telling the wayward travellers that this planet is one big hunting preserve to sharpen the Predators' skills, aim and talents by tracking and killing live game and they have all been drafted as prey. Will they escape? Can they be rescued and how many Predators can they take with them when they die?

Okay, now to the nitty gritty of the flick. The original script was written by director/writer Robert Rodrigez back in 1994 and was shelved and off the green-light for 16 years before anyone showed any interest. Initially cameos of both Dutch (Schwarzenegger) and Harrigan (Danny Glover) were scheduled for an appearance but I guess they was just too old for that crap. Hey, I keep it PG-13 around these here parts.

Adrien Brody manged to put on 25 lbs of muscle for the role but for some reason felt the Clint Eastwood Man with No Name/ Kurt Russell Snake Plissken gruff, rough voice would lend his character a bit more stature. My opinion, it did not. 

 Kinda got tired of the countless Predator shrieks. Whether or not it is a primal scream of rights of the hunt or maybe they are simply psyching themselves and their prey up I could not say. As far as directing, I feel Nimrod Antal did an excellent job having to breathe life back into the franchise and was a damn sight better than say... Alien: Resurrection.

Dammit, we're on an Alien set.  Who has the map?